Vancouver Nights

by Blythe Stone

  I led her over to the bench and took her bag off her shoulder, hanging the strap over the dark wood. When I sat down she followed and I turned so I could see her face.

  “Something happened while you were gone today and I need to tell you about it. I didn’t mean for any of this and neither did Olivia,” I said, getting the words out quick.

  “Wait- what?” She asked, bothered.

  “I realized today that Olivia and I had been flirting with one another and that I was attracted to her. I tried to reason it out but I ended up telling her about it and apologizing. She said she felt the same way though. She feels really guilty and so do I. Of course, it doesn’t change how I feel about you at all. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just thought you should know that it happened. I told Olivia that I was going to tell you all of this and that we would all figure it out together,” I finished.

  The words got faster the more I talked and by the end I was sure I was unintelligible. I waited, watching her face and wondering if this was going to be a big deal.

  She laughed a little, relieved. “Okay baby, you're being really dramatic,” she smiled.

  “Well, I did just ask you to marry me and then admit to another woman that I wanted to kiss her,” I cringed.

  “Um what? Did she ask you that?” Nat wanted to know.

  “No, I told her because I was trying to explain why I felt guilty and why I thought I was a terrible person. I felt like I was putting her in an awful position,” I admitted.

  Natalie sighed and made an eh face. “I knew the proposal came because she was out here.”

  “That’s not true. It wasn’t because of her. I didn’t even feel like that when I asked you to marry me,” I argued.

  I felt a swell of feeling take me and I wanted to throw up. She wasn’t going to go back on it. She couldn’t. Unless I’d really screwed up.

  “You’re not changing your mind are you?” I asked.

  “What?” She asked, a little mad at me.

  She got up and started to walk inside. “Look Avery, I'm tired. I've been screaming and crying all day and dealing with three egomaniacs and now you're asking me if I'm having doubts when I'm not. Can we please go inside?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  She was a few steps ahead but I jumped up, grabbing her bag and following. In my mind I’d reached inside and flipped the switch on my emotions. They couldn’t bother me when I needed to be there for Nat.

  We got inside. I went straight to the kitchen and filled the tea kettle, lit the stove and set it to warm.

  “I’m making you some tea,” I called to her.

  “Thank you baby. I'm just gonna shower real quick. I'm beat.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  Her footsteps were distinct as she climbed the stairs and went to our room. There was no time to evaluate her reaction other than to wonder if she realized what I was really saying. I knew she wasn’t a closed-minded person but she seemed to not even care about what I’d revealed.

  I tapped my fingers on the counter until I heard the kettle start to rumble. That snapped me out of my stupor enough to get two mugs ready and find the right tea bags. I put a bag in each mug and added a little honey to Nat’s.

  When the water boiled, I poured it into the mugs and waited a few moments before I went upstairs, balancing the mugs so they didn’t spill. I could feel how hot the water was through the mugs. One slip and I’d burn myself.

  I made it to our room, set the mugs on the nightstand, and sat myself on the side of the bed. Then I realized I should get ready for bed as much as I could.

  The water of the shower was still going by the time I finished changing and getting out some pjs for Nat. A few minutes later she walked into the room, wearing a robe and using a towel to dry her hair. I just stared at her, wondering how I could want someone else.

  “Uh… Your tea is here if you want it and I laid out your favorite sleep shirt,” I said.

  “You're sweet,” she said, moving to the tea to take a sip.

  “I’ll scratch your back till you go to sleep. I know you must have had a crazy day. I’m sorry,” I continued.

  “Don't be sorry,” she said. “You wanted to tell me something, that's a good thing.”

  “I know but…” I stopped there and let it go, picking up my mug and taking a drink of the tea. It was still way too hot so I put it down. “We got a lot of wine and liquor today. I got one thing for you that I’m going to save for the end of filming,” I said.

  “You don't have to hang out with her,” Nat said, watching me. She tugged on my shirt to get me to look at her as she leaned back on the bed.

  “We had fun. It was nice to find something to celebrate with. I like hanging out with her but I think I just made it all awkward so I don’t know what’s going to happen,” I admitted.

  “Olivia is awkward,” Nat laughed affectionately. She laid back and put her hand on her forehead. “She's too honest and it makes you love her.”

  I turned over and laid beside her, resting my head on her shoulder.

  “I thought I’d tell her and then she would tell me I was crazy or she would laugh it off. Instead, she was very sweet and sad. She thinks she’s messed everything up by coming with us. I told her she didn’t need to go but I think she might. I guess she really was flirting with me though,” I laughed.

  “Of course she was,” Nat smiled. “You're gorgeous.”

  She twisted onto her side so she could look at me and put her hand on my cheek. I felt her thumb brush my lips as her eyes watched me feel her.

  “We’ll figure it out,” she said, being serious for a moment. “I thought about you all day… Wished I was here…”

  I felt a sting in my chest and my stomach dropped.

  “I can't wait till we get a few days off. I want to keep you in bed for hours and just be close. We can watch TV and eat bad things,” I suggested.

  My body felt heavy. She was thinking of me and I was crying in Olivia's lap earlier.

  I put my arm around her and wrapped my leg over hers, hooking it under and pulling her closer. I was home.

  “That sounds like heaven baby,” she mumbled.

  “It will be.” I reached up and ran my fingers over her chest. I knew it would soothe her. “I love you, baby. Go to sleep.” I kept rubbing her but moved my hands to the sides of her neck and then up to her scalp.

  Her breathing grew heavy. “You know I can't sleep when you feel so good,” she said.

  “I'll stop. You need to rest,” I said and quit moving my hand and placed it back on her chest. I rolled my head over to kiss her shoulder and close my eyes.

  “I'm going with you to work tomorrow,” I murmured. “We can stop for breakfast and coffee. I'll write while you work and we can make out in your trailer when you get breaks.”

  I smiled faintly and squeezed her body closer.

  “Love you,” I murmured again.

  “Love you too baby.”

  I let her go to sleep but I still didn't manage to get to sleep myself. An hour later I slowly slid out of the bed.

  Nat turned over and cuddled the pillow I'd been laying my head on. She was so cute but I needed some air. I grabbed my robe and slipped it over my shorts and t-shirt.

  I slipped out of the room and went out to the roof area. If I could just put my feet in the hot water and feel the cool night, maybe I could get to sleep.

  When I walked out I heard the bubbling of the hot tub and then I saw a book being held above the water. I recognized the cover from where I was standing though the details were blurry.

  “You can't sleep either?” I asked.

  Olivia made a small surprised sound. “Hey,” she laughed, putting the book down on the side of the spa. She leaned back and stared over at me. “I didn't try, if I'm honest. The lure of the book was more appealing than sleep.”

  “A high compliment,” I said.

  “Uh,” she said, clearing her throat and floating closer to me. �
�You okay?” her arms came up on the edge of the spa. I felt her looking at me.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  When I looked at her face I crumbled a little. Such lines of worry on her forehead and I could see how she restrained herself.

  “I talked to Nat. She didn't say much. She basically laughed it off and said it wasn't a big deal. She was really tired though so I took her to bed. I couldn't sleep so I wanted to slip my feet in the water,” I explained.

  “You should come in,” Olivia suggested. “Rest for a little while. I can leave if you want to be alone. I'd understand.”

  “No, stay,” I said.

  I walked to the side of the hot tub and pushed the bottom of my robe behind me while I sat down. The hot water stung a little when I put my legs in but it reminded me I was alive and real.

  “How are you doing?” I asked.

  “I'm okay,” she shrugged, lying.

  She put her head down on her arms and shut her eyes.

  “You're a terrible liar,” I said with a laugh.

  “Yeah,” she said. “Other people don't seem to notice much.”

  She breathed in and sighed. The water must've been relaxing for her.

  “People are blind, myself included,” I replied.

  I pushed my legs further into the water so it was over my knees and looked down into the swirls of bubbles.

  “Do you ever wish you had the power to freeze time? So you could stay in a moment for a while and maybe save it to come back to later?”

  “Of course,” she said.

  “What moment would you choose if you could only pick one?”

  “My birthday… When I turned 18. Natalie took me to this perfect house in the desert. We spent all week in the middle of nowhere, all alone. Somewhere in the middle of that week. I could spend forever there. I almost have… In my mind.”

  “It sounds perfect. She's really good at making you feel like you're the only person in the world,” I said.

  “I miss that feeling,” Olivia lamented. “What would you pick?”

  “Hmm… The night she kissed me for the first time and we spent the entire weekend wrapped up in one another. I knew as soon as we started flirting that I was going to get hooked on her,” I said.

  “What makes you want to go back,” Olivia asked.

  “The thrill of discovering her. Up to that point I hadn't known what the start of love felt like,” I explained.

  Olivia moved her forehead onto her arm and just breathed for a while.

  “I'll be glad when this movie is over. It's really stressing her out and I think everything will be a lot easier to process when she has some time,” I said.

  They still hadn't really talked. It had to happen though. Neither of them would be able to move on if they didn't.

  “It won’t be long,” Olivia soothed.

  “No, it won't and then we can relax. I hope you stick around for a bit.”

  “Maybe,” she said, not so talkative right now.

  “I should go in,” I said, leaning to one side so I could get up.

  This was a getaway place and she was here first.

  “I don't want you to,” she said. “I just don't know what to say.”

  I stopped moving and smiled.

  “You don't have to know. It's a different kind of situation. I don't know what to do with myself,” I confessed.

  22

  (Olivia)

  We stayed up a long time, drinking wine and laughing about memories that weren’t shared. Favorite times, least favorite times. What we were both like in high school. Our favorite books.

  I at least got her to calm down a little and soak with me, loosen up.

  Avery was lovely and it took every part of me to stay across from her in the hot tub instead of closing the distance and pushing for the kiss we both knew would be amazing the second time we tried. Her smile made me want to sneak closer. It drew me in, kept me contained by her.

  When I realized she planned on going to work with Natalie in less than two hours I got a little tired. Mainly, I knew I was going to be ditched and I grew sad prematurely.

  Natalie didn't want me watching her work. I knew I'd distract her and I didn’t deserve to take advantage of her every kindness right now.

  Plus, it’d be far too easy to accidentally make her mad if I intruded too much. I was trying my best to be as neutral and patient as possible. And I sucked at both of those things.

  I waited until morning and decided I should take a new trip. I left a note on the counter incase they came back and got scared.

  Knowing myself, I could be gone anywhere from two hours to a couple of days. Avery was tempting me and Nat was pushing me into this awkward situation where my only choice was to get close to the woman she loved. It was very confusing.

  There was something off about it and I needed to regroup and clear my head. To be safe, I said I might not be back for a couple of days. That I knew they needed some private time and rest and, I planned to go to Victoria, not to be worried because I’d be just fine.

  I sunk into my music as I drove toward the ferry terminal. Breakfast in town was nice and the solitude was pretty terrible so I made the mistake of turning on my phone.

  Right away it rang. My thumb slipped and I realized I'd picked up.

  “Olivia? Is that you?”

  I swallowed guiltily and stared down at the greenlit phone before caving and raising it up.

  “Um yeah, hi,” I said. “How are you?”

  I squeezed one of my eyes shut and hated that I'd put him in this spot.

  “I'm. I'm fine,” he said, a little surprised. “Are you alright? I've been calling you twice a day.”

  “Yeah, sorry. I've been out of the country.”

  Everyone knew cell service still worked almost everywhere. I was on a ferry in the middle of the ocean, obviously Canada was not some unreachable dead-zone.

  “Are you alright though? Do you need anything?”

  “Just time,” I said. Farrow tried but he still didn't know much about my real life, I didn't let him invade.

  “I met with your mother. She's staying at your house.”

  “What?” I laughed.

  “She said you wouldn't mind it.”

  “I don’t,” I laughed, thinking about her.

  “Everyone at work thinks you're deathly ill. Some rumor has really taken the kindling. They all want to know where to send gifts.”

  “Not surprising,” I said.

  On the boat where I was there were so many couples eating together and laughing, kissing. I noticed them now.

  “You'd tell me if anything was really wrong, right?”

  “Worried about your stocks?” I teased.

  “Not at all,” Farrow said. Even from miles away I knew he was telling the truth and breaking into an adorable smile.

  “I'm really just taking some time,” I reminded.

  “You should do this more often,” he soothed.

  I remembered the way he looked at me when we were in Paris, after I'd let him touch me when I really shouldn't have. I knew love when I saw it. He was in love. Puppy love, probably, but still.

  “How’s Dani,” I wondered.

  “We. We’ve been fighting,” he said.

  I was worried about that.

  “I'm sorry to hear that,” I said.

  “Don't be. It’s been coming.”

  “Still,” I said. They were both so corny and sure of themselves. A match made in heaven and somehow it wasn't for him. I still wondered if maybe it wasn't about me at all. Calls like this made me think otherwise.

  A voice on a speaker started to make an announcement.

  “Um. I have to go,” I said, speaking over it to drown it out. Farrow would try to find me. He wasn't possessive, just interested in being by my side. And he had enough money that a short flight would be no inconvenience or problem. Conversations were better had when you trapped someone. I hadn't fully explained myself to him and he wanted to know what was go
ing on, make sure I wasn’t on some suicide mission.

  “Oh. Um. Thanks for answering the phone.”

  “You're welcome,” I rushed. “I'll let you know when I plan to come back.”

  “Okay,” he said.