by Blythe Stone
“Goodbye,” I tried.
“Stay safe Olivia.”
I could hear his fear across the airwaves. We'd never been apart for this long.
“Goodbye,” I repeated, putting an end to the call.
I got up and walked to the outer deck of the ferry, past the couples and the booths. It was really cold outside and I hadn't brought much to protect me.
For a minute, I really thought about chucking my phone at the sea. Instead I just stared, eyes watering, burdened by my emotions and the wind.
I shut the phone off completely. I could turn it on later. If I felt like being miserable again.
23
(Avery)
When we got home I was exhausted and Olivia was nowhere to be found. Nat blew it off, saying she probably just went for a drive or out to get food.
It wasn't until the next day when she hadn't come back to the house or even answered her phone that Nat joined me in being worried.
More than worried, Nat was mad. We were sitting out on the roof. I was trying to figure out how we could track her phone and Nat was leaving another message on Olivia's voicemail.
We were about to call the police, an action that made it all too real for me.
I heard the phone ringing in the silence of the apartment as Nat tried once again to reach her. Voicemail again.
“Ah-Olivia I’m really getting scared,” Nat said. “If you’re not here in the next hour I’m calling the police. You’ve left me no choice.”
She was angry and her voice shook.
When she hung up I could tell she was close to tears of rage.
“Goddamnit,” she muttered, shaking, too emotional to want to let it sink in.
I got up and set the laptop aside to go and pull her into my arms.
“It's gonna be okay,” I soothed. I kept petting her back until she relaxed into me. “I'm sure she's fine and it's all a mistake.”
Then, we waited… For another forty-five minutes until Nat was about ready to explode from the inaction.
The crack of the door opening and the sound of the electronic lock made us both turn our heads.
“Hey,” Olivia smiled, happy to see us like nothing had gone on or happened since she had left.
She had a bag of groceries in her hand and her keys dangled.
Nat just stared, shocked.
Soon as Olivia put the bag down on the ground and stood up Nat walked over to her a slapped her hard across the face.
Fear, hurt, and panic spread across Olivia’s face. Her hand moved up to the spot that most likely burned like hell. The slap was loud, my teeth hurt.
“Don’t you EVER do that to me again! EVER!”
Nat yelled.
Olivia’s eyes trailed down and up, then back down to the ground. They seemed to fixate on something and I could tell she was about ready to cry as she realized something. She took two steps forward and picked something up off the floor, a paper. It was delicate, careful, the way she moved to shakily reach for the thing on the ground.
Once it was on the counter I could see that she had actually left us a note. Her eyes locked with mine, filled to the brim with tears.
She walked up the stairs and we both heard the door close and then lock.
Nat’s face changed as she walked close to me and saw the note.
“Fuck,” she said. “How did we… Shit,” she said, taking the stairs up to try and talk to Olivia. She knocked on the door several times. “O-Olivia. I-I’m sorry. We didn’t see the note. Can I please come in.”
Her voice was so different than before. I could hear the ache in her.
I followed her but stayed a little behind watching Natalie try to get Olivia to open the door. When she finally did Nat entered and closed the door behind her. I wasn't needed anymore.
I went back downstairs and collapsed onto the couch, joined by all of the emotions I’d held back to stay calm for Nat.
I let myself cry them out, stuffing my face into a spot between a throw pillow and the back of the couch. My sobs were muffled and I cried for everything.
My worry for Olivia, the shock of seeing her come back, Nat’s stress and how I was here and they were up there.
Everything was happening around me and I felt like the eye of a storm, affected but expected to remain static.
Eventually, I fell asleep. There was no choice. My body demanded it. Since Olivia came to visit I'd slept so little.
I had dreams of calm seas and storms coming to make of them swirling pools for me to drown in. They were familiar dreams, very similar to the ones I’d had all my life except I started out on shore this time and ended up needing to be saved. Except, no one could reach me.
I hated dying in dreams.
24
(Olivia)
I’d felt recovered, invigorated, but all that changed when Natalie hit me. Memories came back, the bad ones. How I’d made things worse, how I ruined her life, our relationship, everything.
Avery’s eyes on mine at the end, it only drove everything home.
I hurried to my room, locking the door. The tears began to fall halfway up the stairs but I covered my mouth to keep from being heard. I slid down the wall, crying into my knees.
My face hurt so much that my teeth ached. At least the physical pain matched my internal feelings.
A knock came at the door, Natalie’s soft voice.
“O-Olivia. I’m so sorry. We didn’t see the note. I didn’t know where you were. I-I was so scared baby. I’m so sorry.”
I sniffed and tried to calm myself down. It hurt a lot. And it was my fault for ignoring my phone. I couldn’t separate what was nonsense and what was Avery or Nat. It was constantly ringing and dinging. I had to turn it off. I thought that would be fine. No one ever cared where I was, they just needed answers to questions. Money for their bullshit. Other stupid things.
“Baby, please let me in. I’m so sorry,” Nat whispered sadly. I could tell she was weeping now. I must’ve scared her a lot.
I pushed my palms back against the wall and led myself back up the way I’d fallen down.
Twisting, I unlocked the door, flattening my back against the wall right after, scared to really face her or talk since she’d been avoiding contact with me for several long days.
She twisted the door handle and peeked in, locking eyes with me, immediately sorry and reaching for my face. “I’m so sorry baby,” she said, coming into the room and pulling me into her, shutting the door behind her back.
I let her touch me, falling into her embrace as my tears fell. “I’m sorry,” I cried.
“No, shhhh,” she said, holding me.
She buried her nose in my hair and squeezed my body tight. I knew I’d really scared her for her to be so angry with me.
We didn’t talk for a while, just stood together. I cried into her shirt and she probably wept into my hair, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking anymore.
“I called your mom,” Natalie said.
“Oh…”
“Farrow too. He sounded sweet.”
I didn’t care…
For now, all that mattered was that she was holding me.
“I’ll leave,” I said, deciding it. I wasn’t helping anything here and I never should’ve come in the first place, it was selfish of me.
“No,” Natalie said. “No…” She whispered it softer. “You’re gonna stay.”
“Why though,” I pinched the words out. “You’re not even talking to me.”
“I will,” Nat promised.
“It’s okay to not want me here,” I whispered.
“That's the problem,” Nat said. “I do want you…”
I didn't know what to say.
Her hand against my neck was holding me so tenderly. All this time, I just thought she was mad at me. Not about my going missing, about my being here, about everything else.
Her lips traced the skin of my forehead. I breathed in sharply, thinking about her tasting me. How long had it been?
&nb
sp; Her hands moved and shifted. She held me loosely against her with her hands clasped low behind my lower back.
Confused, I still savored every touch, every breath, and every second. I wished she'd just kiss me, allow me to love her. But I also knew it would hurt Avery and that terrified me.
25
(Avery)
I woke up only because there was a hand on my shoulder and a body sitting beside mine.
“Huh?” I muttered.
My eyes didn't want to open. Tears had dried them closed. I tasted salt like the sea and remembered the terrifying dream I'd just been in.
I looked up at Nat, trying to focus on her face.
“It’s okay,” she said, soothing me. “She's going to rest. Sorry I freaked out like that, I was really scared.”
“So was I,” I told her. “It was a scary thing.”
I moved so I could sit up and rub at my eyes. They were probably red. I had to look like shit.
“Do you need anything? Are you hungry?” I asked.
“I could eat,” she shrugged and laughed. Her hand came up and pet my face as she stared lovingly at me. “Maybe we should just order something,” she thought. “Chow Mein, red wine, a shitty TV show, and your body on mine sounds pretty fucking good right now.”
We'd both been drained of all strength from all that stress.
“After thinking she might be dead in a ditch somewhere nothing else seems to matter,” Nat explained.
“Oh babe,” I said, covering her hand.
She needed me now.
“I'll call for the food and you can pick something to watch,” I said.
When I sat up I felt a little light-headed but I covered it by turning away a little and taking out my phone to look for the number to the Chinese place.
“You okay?” Nat asked, watching me.
“Yeah, I'm good. Do you want egg rolls?” I asked.
I just hadn't slept or had any food. She didn't notice because she was worried and it wasn't like I made it obvious.
“Oh, what about egg drop soup?” I continued.
“At this point I can eat almost anything,” Nat teased. “Just pick a few things. Don’t go crazy with decisions. We should relax.”
She slid in closer to me and pulled me to lay a little back on her.
“Okay…”
I dialed the number and started to rattle off different food items until I’d ordered enough for ten and then I hung up, assured that the food would be at our door in thirty minutes.
“There, now I feel better,” I said.
“Good,” she said, wrapping her leg around my body and hugging me across the collar bone with her arm. “I’m gonna get you some wine when I feel like moving,” she flirted. I felt her free hand brush up into my hair. She ran her fingers through my locks and started massaging my scalp with her nails. “You smell good,” she said, breathing me. “Good enough to eat.”
She tugged my hair to one side and nudged her lips onto my cheek, kissing me a few times slowly.
“Sounds like you're too hungry to wait for the food,” I said.
“I think there's some nourishment here,” she whispered, licking behind my ear and then sucking the bottom of my earlobe up into her mouth.
“Mmm,” she hummed, taking advantage of my docile state.
“I think you better take advantage of me now while I'm weak,” I teased.
“It's a good plan,” she soothed, petting me. I felt her tongue at my neck, slowly teasing and kissing at my tender skin.
I shivered and leaned my head further to the side. She hadn't made a move on me like this since that night she worked me up into a tizzy.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“That it’d be real nice to taste you,” she said, sucking on my skin.
“What's stopping you?” I teased.
“That's a good question,” she huskily breathed. I felt her hand move down the front of my body and slip itself beneath the hem of my underwear and jeans. Fingers sinking further inward and down.
“Mmmm, it's been too long. Please,” I begged.
I leaned back into her and spread my legs a little to help her.
“You could've told me you wanted me to touch you,” she said, moving her fingers and starting to work me up in her effortless way.
I felt her teeth bite down gently on the skin of my shoulder and then tug.
Her fingers slipped further down, risking danger and sinking deep inside.
“You know I love to fuck you,” she said, while beginning to do it.
It was so quiet in this living room that was not ours. And I knew Olivia was only a few feet away behind the guard of one very thin wall.
Natalie let her breathing stretch out and be loud against my ear. Our sexy secret.
“Yeah, but you were busy. You know I can wait for you,” I said.
It felt so good. She knew exactly where to touch me and how. She always had. Who knew that stress could make me wet?
“I love your sounds,” she whispered, keeping me. “When you try not to make them, try to keep them inside.”
The way she touched me, you’d think she was some expert at specifically making me cum.
Fast or slow. Whatever she wanted, she could do. And it was always good.
“Don't… Want to wake… Olivia,” I managed through gritted teeth.
“Shhhh,” Natalie teased, pushing in and out of me much quicker now, just to see how I'd fair.
Her free hand squeezed around my breast, adding extra pressure to push me over the edge. The sound of her fingers sliding in and out of me was too much.
I bit my lip and kept all of the expletives back while I felt release take me. I tried to let it all go and realized the tears had come again. Not a lot but as one streamed down my cheek I made no move to wipe it away.
“Ahh,” I sighed and leaned back into her.
“Sweet baby,” Nat soothed, hand brushing my skin beneath my shirt, petting me to help me come down.
When she looked at my face and saw the tear she was surprised. “Oh no,” she said, worried. I felt her lips kissing the tear away, trying to take back the wet trail. “What’s wrong baby? Did I hurt you?”
“No, no! You didn't. It's just stress. I let go of something. It's not you, I promise,” I assured her.
“Let go of something, huh…”
She kept petting me and placing kisses on my cheek.
“You're always holding things in,” Nat said, holding me.
“Apparently not,” I laughed, wiping at my face.
The doorbell rang, allowing me to avoid that conversation. I took a deep breath and got up to go get the door. When I opened it there was a girl there with our food. She looked like she was weighed down by the insane amount of take-out that I’d ordered us. I signed the receipt and handed it back to her and she handed over our bags.
“Where do you want to eat?” I asked.
“What do you think?” Nat asked, watching me. She was being careful now, a little worried.
“Right here. We can turn the TV on,” I suggested.
I came around the couch and sat the food down on the coffee table, opening the bag and taking out the containers and utensils.
“What do you want to drink? I’ll go get it,” I said.
“Some wine would be good,” she suggested.
“Red?” I asked. “Never mind, I know what you like.”
I went into the kitchen and looked through the bottles in the rack until I found a nice red blend that we’d bought in our liquor store haul. The corkscrew was sitting right beside the rack so I popped the cork and found a glass to pour it into.
I got myself a water from the fridge and went back to the living room. She was going to start asking me questions soon. That was something I didn’t need. Whatever was going on would work its way out. I just didn’t want to go there right now. It was too raw.
I gave her the wine glass and sat down on the couch with her.
“Damn, I sho
uld have gotten plates,” I said.
I started to get up but she stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“Just relax. I'll get them.”