by Blythe Stone
She got up and went to fetch them. Coming back, she placed them down in front of me and put her hand on my thigh.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
I opened a few of the take-out boxes and slid one over to her side of the table. The one I kept was the fried rice. I used a chopstick to move some out of the box and onto the plate, then put a few pieces of the sweet and sour chicken on top. I really didn’t feel like eating but I’d try a little just to make a show of it.
I put a piece of chicken in my mouth and frowned. My stomach was already protesting but I chewed it up and swallowed, leaning back in the sofa and setting the plate on my lap. This was ridiculous. I just wanted things to be normal but here I was pushing rice around my plate and contemplating how much I didn’t want to eat more.
“What's wrong baby,” Nat asked, unable to ignore my downtrodden mood.
“I’m just a little emotional, that’s all. Maybe I’m about to start my period,” I said.
She was watching me so I ate another piece of chicken and then some rice.
“I haven’t been getting enough sleep either. That’s probably a big thing. I just need some rest,” I said.
“Well, come on. Eat a little and let's sleep early. You can stay in tomorrow, rest,” she suggested. “You haven't been putting aside enough time for you.”
“But I like going with you to set. I can sleep in your trailer and then I know I’m close if you need me,” I protested.
I put my plate down, through with the pretense of eating. Instead, I leaned into her side and put my head on her shoulder, taking a breath to catch her scent.
“I just don't love it when I know my schedule and my life is stressing you out. All this stuff with Olivia has really gotten to you. I can tell.” She put her lips on my forehead and pet me. “And my moods and my schedule aren't helping.”
“It's fine. There's no need to worry and you have enough going on. Having you is always going to make everything okay at the end of the day. You just focus on getting through this movie and everything will fall into place. I'm guessing you and Olivia had a talk about things and that's got to be good,” I said.
“We haven't spoken enough,” she said. “But I apologized… For my anger, and everything else. She was going to leave and I asked her not to.”
“Good, maybe she’ll listen to you then,” I sighed.
“I think she will.”
Nat settled and ate.
“She came up here to be with me and I haven't been allowing that. The trip to Victoria was a distraction from being ignored.”
“Why were you ignoring her?” I asked.
“Easier,” she said. “If she's just going to run away why should I hurry to connect again? I needed to see that she actually meant what she said. At least now I know that she did.”
“I see,” I said.
It was a natural reaction but it still made me sad that she felt like she had to do that. Both sides pulled my mind apart until I didn’t know quite what I really thought.
“Do you want your fortune cookie?” I asked.
“Maybe later,” she said. “The wine’s a nice dessert. And the fates have played enough with us today.”
I laughed and leaned forward to pick up one of the cookies.
“Well, I want to know what mine says,” I admitted.
The package came open easily and I set it back on the table and held the cookie in my hand.
“Here goes nothing,” I said, holding the paper close to my face so I could read it. “The greatest risk is not taking one,” I read.
“Ya know, I've never heard that before,” Nat teased.
“I think that was my entire philosophy when I met you,” I laughed.
“Good,” she said, nudging me.
“I was so scared you were just going to find someone better back then or that you being away would just make us grow apart to the point that you’d end it,” I admitted.
“Crazy,” she laughed, shaking her head.
“Not even, you’re a unique person. I knew I’d never find anyone that made me feel like I do when I’m with you,” I pushed back.
I put the fortune down and turned to her, pushing her back onto the couch so I could crawl onto her body as far as possible.
“I do get amusement out of seeing all the rumors about who you’re dating in the tabloids though,” I said.
“Mmm. Yeah?”
“Especially when it’s other women. I guess that will change a little when we get married. Assuming that some idiot is going to be taking pictures from the bushes,” I sighed.
No one really bothered me that much. People just assumed I was just her assistant.
“I guess you'll just have to become a celebrity,” she said.
I rolled my eyes. “No one is going to care who I am. You’re much more important,” I laughed.
I just wanted to relax with her but thinking about the wedding thing did get me excited. That was a positive thing in the midst of a whirlwind of confusion.
“What kind of wedding do you want?” I asked.
“Hmm… Ya know, I haven't thought much about it. What kind of wedding do you want?”
“One where we get married and everyone is happy,” I teased.
I stroked her neck with my fingertips and watched her face change as I repeated the action. Affecting her was my life’s blood.
“Something small and I want to wear something pretty. There should be flowers and fairy lights,” I told her.
“Sounds nice,” Nat flirted, petting my hair.
“Who would you want to be there?” I asked.
“Just you,” she said, staring.
“What about Olivia?” I asked.
“Hmmm… Factoring her into our future now, are we?”
“More like wondering if you’d want her to be there,” I replied.
She kept petting me and soothing my mind. My eyes fluttered closed a few times but I wouldn’t go to sleep, not while we had time to just be together.
“She could be there,” Nat said, thinking on it.
“Maybe we should have a Halloween wedding,” I mused.
Fall was my favorite and the decorations could be so cute.
“I do love fall,” Nat reminded.
“Yeah, and we could have leaves and pumpkins. I like this idea a lot, baby,” I said.
Her hand was still now and I turned, rubbing my nose on her arm so she would start petting me again. I smiled when she realized she’d stopped and gave me what I wanted.
“How are you so adorable,” she asked lovingly.
“Dunno, just lucky, I guess,” I answered.
She was the adorable one. I smiled, thinking about how animated her face could be. That way she let one eyebrow raise in speculation. Her face was perfection. I reached up and touched her cheek with my hand.
“You’re sweet to me and that helps,” I concluded.
She moved my hand with her own, making my palm cover her lips so she could kiss it.
“You should eat more. I know you’re hungry,” I said.
“Or we can go to bed and I can have my real dessert,” she posed.
“Whatever you want, baby,” I grinned.
“I like the sound of that.”
I slipped away from her, planting my knee in the couch cushion to help me stand up. I bent over and started closing the containers on the table and gathering the plates.
“Come on, let’s put this up and go upstairs,” I suggested.
“Yes boss,” Nat teased while helping me.
“I’m glad you finally remembered my name,” I teased back.
We took the food into the kitchen and she put the cartons in the fridge while I scraped off the plates and ran water over them in the sink. She finished first and came up behind me. I felt her hands on my upper arms and smiled.
Her presence had such power. I always knew when she was near. Her hands moved to my wrists and I felt her breasts press into my back. She moved my hand up to the faucet and pu
shed my fingers against it so it turned the water off.
“Is someone a little impatient?” I asked.
“We never have enough time,” Nat reminded.
“Time is what you make it,” I murmured as I leaned into her and backed away from the sink.
I turned in her arms and moved my palms to her cheeks. Her arms slipped behind my back. Her face was half in shadow, with light from the window keeping the other half bright. Now, like this she was art but the interactive kind.
I closed my eyes and leaned in, meeting her lips with a soft kiss.
“Mmm, point taken,” I whispered. “Let’s go.”
“Glad you're finally ready,” she teased, rolling her eyes.
“Shut up and take me upstairs,” I said, giving her a little push.
She took my hand and led the way.
“So sexy,” she whispered.
It was, our banter always turned me on and amused me at the same time. She pulled me along until we got to the bedroom and then she closed the door.
“Now what?” I asked.
I poked her chest as I passed her, letting go of her hand and falling into a sitting position on the bed.
“Now we don't have to be so careful,” she mused, tugging my shirt up and off as she straddled my lap.
I felt her lips on me and things were no longer tame. Her sights were set on having me, tasting me. Nat would have what she wanted.
“I’m yours,” I told her.
“You better be,” she huskily breathed.
Carnal urges ruled her. What happened downstairs had apparently only been foreplay.
She controlled this time and took what she wanted. I was happy to give it. We weren't going to get anymore sleep. That was obvious now.
26
(Olivia)
Many days passed. Every one of us kept distance. Natalie was better about coming to me in her sparse down time, at least trying to treat me as a real human in her space. Not that I expected her to be nice. I deserved the opposite. I just didn’t want to hang around for absolutely no reason. This was a trial or something. I understood that now and I had to pay her my time.
After her emotional confession, Avery returned to her obsessive nature, waking up far before dawn to accompany Natalie for her work and make-up routine. I could not tell if this was normal or a diversionary tactic. Not knowing made me feel even more alone but I hadn’t had this much time away from work since I first developed my company so this free time was a prolonged, and much needed, breath.
In the nights we’d eat together, watch movies or help Natalie with running her lines. I’d usually excuse myself early since I knew they were both very tired.
This left nights as my real vacation. I couldn’t do much from a house in the middle of nowhere but I also couldn’t run off again.
The fear they’d shown when I wasn’t there after Victoria, it was thick like fog and, I couldn’t breathe or wade through it. For now, I was grounded, tethered to earth.
I broke a few times and answered the phone when Farrow called. He tried his best not to talk shop but admitted to being the secondary mind in our partnership. He hated to lean on Ronald & Sergio, to trust in their take on matters that involved both technicality and the kind of social awareness Farrow thought that only I had.
It was odd, to be thought of so highly by so many people in the realm of my work and then to have this complete polarity in my social life where I was a helpless young doe unable to find footing or see a break.
I read books, took up painting again. I drank bottles and bottles of wine. There was no stop now to my limits on relaxing.
Avery: Are you up yet? Nat’s having a hard time on set. You should come by for moral support. Only if you want to.
The thought had occurred to me. Would Nat even think I was interested if I didn’t even spend one day watching her work?
If Nat watched me at work she would definitely distract me. I’d screw up. I tried to keep reminding myself that we were very different people but when I’d come to set before it was just to say hello and goodbye.
Olivia: Sure. I’ll come by.
Avery: Let me know when you’re close. I’ll come and meet you.
Olivia: Sounds good.
Her time on set was almost over anyway. What could one day hurt?
It was kind of scary to allow myself the time to stare at her though. It couldn’t help things, not the way that they were.
I got ready quick and forced myself to go.
Avery met me at the gate, she was waiting for me with her little lanyard and badge. She got in my passenger seat and ushered me through the set-up trailers since she knew I probably didn’t remember how we got to Nat’s trailer on the last go around.
We left the car and walked close to each other toward the spot where the filming was happening.
“So, ah,” I cleared my throat carefully. “What seems to be the issue today?”
Her hand and arm, her body; it was so close to mine. I could smell her smooth skin and feel the presence of her sweet breath. By now I craved it all, that scent and our vulnerable closeness. All the time I’d spent trying to push it away. Of course, it was really a problem. I couldn’t even touch her anymore without feeling the fast beat in my chest, the way my palms sweat and my small arm hairs stood up. When I was around her I felt too many things and since her confession we’d been rarely alone.
We had awkward dinners, the three of us, where we all stared a little and stayed too quiet and bit our tongues.
Watching her and Nat, every night as they kissed and cuddled in front of me, and then having to hear as they went back to their room and got to have very loud sex, it was driving me nuts. I’d become this sort of shadow with them, scared to form but obviously involved and present in some dark afterthought of a way.
“The director is throwing a tantrum over some dialogue Nat wanted to change and she's really getting frustrated. It's been hard to watch,” Avery explained.
“Yikes,” I said, thinking on it. “Are you okay? I know this stuff is hard to watch. It toys with you. Well, not- you you. The general you.”
As I said, we hadn't had much time to ourselves. My footing was easily lost up here.
Avery held the door open for me and I led us into a space I hadn't been in before. This world was hers, not mine. Like the one other thing I wanted.
Avery navigated this world in a way that told me she knew all the rules and she lived here. There was no discussion about it, we didn't need one. Meanwhile, I was hesitant and unsure of how to be and where to stand. A visitor, nothing more. I felt small.
“I'm usually able to keep myself in check. Nat can stick up for herself and I'd just make things worse but it's really hard right now. He's been an ass for this entire project and no one will tell him to fuck off because the producer doesn't care so there's no back up from up high. I'm not a violent person but I've been dreaming of how it would feel to punch this guy,” she confessed.
We walked through a hallway that was just a space between an exterior wall and the side of a set that they had built.
“They're over on the graveyard set right now,” she said, pointing to a big group of people standing and sitting around a space.
We approached carefully. Before we got all the way there I stopped us, my feet slowing, my hand on hers. “Is it really alright that I'm here?” I asked. “The last thing I want to do is make things worse.”
For the first time in maybe days I allowed myself to really look at her.
My heart skipped. She was beautiful. I couldn't help but feel it
I'd been holding my breath on accident. Slowly, I forced myself to try and breathe.
Our hands were touching and it made my entire body ache. I used my other hand to rub her skin as I stared down carefully at the hand I was holding far too tenderly now in both of mine.
“Of course it is. You're here with us and Nat will be happy to see you,” Avery reassured.
She gripped my hand and gave me
one of her smiles.
Softness flooded me. “Okay,” I said, trying to accept the strength she was giving me.
I heard the sound of Natalie's voice then. I knew it anywhere, it brought me back to myself and my memories.
We walked close and then I heard a man’s voice combatting hers.