Vancouver Nights

by Blythe Stone

  “You'll probably stay up all night now, huh?”

  “Uh. I don't know,” I said. “I can sleep a lot when I need to.”

  “That's a nice perk to have. This one gets insomnia.”

  “One of my many faults,” Avery joked.

  “I hope it’s not too bad,” I thought out loud.

  “It's been fine lately. It's worse if Nat has to be gone and I'm alone,” Avery explained.

  “Hard to get used to sleeping alone,” I remembered. My feet carried me toward the produce. I began to move my hands, place lettuce in a thin plastic bag.

  “Hard to get used to not feeling safe,” Avery muttered.

  I turned to look at her then. I wasn’t sure if it was a dig or just honestly that resonated. Why was it so easy to connect with this girl?

  What I really wanted to do was hold her. Even after she infuriated me.

  “Jalapenos?” Nat asked.

  “Yes,” I said, still staring at Avery.

  I realized I stared too long and broke the habit, coughing into my hand to clear my throat and snap myself out of it.

  Maybe it wasn’t exactly possible for us to really fight.

  “Are you okay?” Avery asked me, coming closer.

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “Just a little out of it.”

  I couldn’t tell her I was angry. I think I wanted her too much.

  I reached for some broccoli and bagged it. Then I got some herbs. I let myself be busy instead of figuring it out.

  “I’m sure you want strawberries,” Nat said.

  I smiled. “You remember a lot,” I said.

  “Just a little bit,” she teased.

  It was kind of okay.

  The way they both looked at me and treated me, I really did believe that they wanted me to stay.

  “I'm sorry,” Avery said.

  “What?” I asked, stopping and turning to her. It sort of came out of nowhere. Soon as I turned I felt wrong like I shouldn’t be so direct with her. I tried to just shop like normal, not make it some thing.

  “I'm sorry about yesterday,” she said.

  She picked up a tomato and held it like she was considering its ripeness.

  “I really wasn’t trying to upset you,” I said.

  “I know. I'm just sensitive about the whole lying thing,” Avery confessed.

  “Lying thing?” I asked, confused. Did I accuse her of that? I couldn’t remember.

  “You said something about me lying and I'm weird about that. Even though you didn't mean it the way I took it. It set me off,” she said.

  It was kinda weird. She directly accused me of lying but I hadn’t asked weird questions to incite that response. This was all a little backwards.

  “Oh,” I said, just confused. We were apparently having too different conversations back then.

  I wasn’t mistaken though, after everything I confessed to her she did accuse me of not knowing what I felt. After everything with Farrow, that was really bizarre to me.

  “If you want to talk about it we can,” I said, not sure what to say.

  Nat was sly. I hadn’t been paying attention and she completely disappeared, removing herself from the conflict.

  “I was worried about Farrow, that he might make you think something that wasn’t true,” I explained. “And he did apparently. You doubted me. I wasn’t blaming you for it,” I went on. “But then you accused me of not knowing what I felt and that hurt. I haven’t changed.”

  “I think we just had a huge misunderstanding because I didn't mean for you to take any of it that way,” Avery said.

  She picked up a few more tomato's and put them in a bag.

  “I dunno,” I said sadly. I didn’t mean to hurt her but she might’ve meant to hurt me.

  “I swear I was just feeling worthless and wanting to know what you saw in me,” she said.

  “Please don’t say that,” I asked, crushed by it.

  “I wish I hadn't felt that way but I did. I've always thought Natalie was far too good for me,” Avery continued.

  “Avery.. Stop,” I asked, getting closer to her and touching her waist with my fingers. I didn’t like knowing that she felt like she did. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Do you know that?” I whispered.

  “I know. You didn't make me feel that way. My insecurities and past did,” she contended.

  “Yeah but…” I sighed and tugged her in close to get her to hug me. “I want you,” I whispered. I might have to say it over and over, again-and-again.

  “I know. Seeing a part of your other life threw me and I was in a terrible mood, waking up from a terrible dream when we spoke. I suck. I'm sorry,” she said, giving into the hug fully, filling my arms.

  “Please stop saying things like that about yourself,” I asked, as I held her. My body ached with sudden wanting for her.

  When Natalie held me I felt taken care of. With Avery I felt a need to take care of her, which was very different but also intense. The more it happened the more I knew I was becoming addicted.

  “Okay, as long as you hold me when we get home,” she sighed.

  “I'd love that,” I whispered. People were walking by but I still didn't want to pull away. “I think we have an audience,” I teased.

  “Good, they can just be jealous of me,” Avery said.

  “I kinda wanna keep you,” I smiled.

  “Please do,” she said, leaning into me.

  “Fine. I have to now,” I teased, sliding my fingers down her hair and adjusting it against her back.

  “I want to kiss you,” she said.

  “Do it then,” I urged, leaning back and staring into her eyes.

  She stepped closer, reached up to put her hand in my hair and hovered for a moment, looking me in the eyes before leaning down to kiss me. It was somewhere between passionate and sweet.

  I let her lead and take her time but then I wanted to kiss her more than I knew. My thumb brushed her bottom lip. After a few seconds I pulled away.

  “I’m sorry,” I breathed. “Guess I forgot how perfect you taste.”

  I licked my bottom lip and bit it. “Do you want me to make you dinner,” I wondered. “What’s your favorite thing to eat?”

  “You, right now, but I’ll also enjoy anything Mexican or Italian,” she answered.

  “Hey,” I laughed, adoring her. “You can’t just say things like that. Now I won’t be able to eat either.” I played with my hair, wishing I was more done up for her.

  “I bet you will. Just depends on what’s on the menu,” she flirted.

  I pushed her a little and breathed in while shaking my head back and forth. “Maybe we should just put this stuff back and go out. I don’t know if I can handle going back home with you,” I laughed.

  “We could still get it. We don’t have to eat it tonight,” she suggested.

  “Well, come on, let’s just go,” I decided. Nat was somewhere else and I needed to find her. I tugged onto Avery’s hand and led her around the corner. Nat was clear across the store in the milk section getting creamer for coffee.

  “Oh good, you made up,” she teased, staring at us each as we came close.

  “I kinda wanna go out now,” I said. “I’m too lazy to cook right now.”

  “Hm. Sounds good to me,” Nat agreed.

  I threw my things into the cart and let her lead us down some random aisle. Nat grabbed some vitamins off a shelf like she knew where they were.

  “You’re so weird,” I laughed. “What even is that.”

  “What? It’s good for you.”

  “Says who?”

  “Um. Everyone? Nutritionists. Doctors…”

  “Most studies actually have proven most vitamins ineffective.”

  “Okay, wow. I’ll put it back.”

  “No! Don’t,” I whined, stopping her.

  “Leave it,” Avery told Nat. “We’ll all take them and see what happens.”

  “Okay,” Nat smirked, pleased by that thought.

  We walke
d down the aisle and checked out. I tried not to say anything else that was asinine.

  When we got back in the car I noticed again how great they were as just a pair. This time it didn’t make me feel as left out. I wondered how long I’d have that feeling and comparison though.

  “You wanna change or just go somewhere low-key,” I asked. I moved to take the bags out of the back seat where they’d been resting awkwardly next to me. “I can run things in if you’re good.”

  “Come on, it’ll be faster if we both do it,” Avery said.

  We walked in together, nearly hitting each other. And when we started to put things away we kept doing that little dance people do when they’re trying too hard to be appropriate and not over-reach or overly touch one another.

  “Sorry,” I laughed. I hit her body with mine, again. It was really an accident. “I swear one day I won’t be this clumsy.”

  “I like it. Anytime you touch me I get a little shock,” she said, as she put the tomatoes away.

  “Really,” I asked, slowing as my smile threatened to take me over. I did my best to push it down.

  It was weird how Natalie was everything I wanted but Avery could completely drive me up the wall with this random chemical attraction that seemed to manifest out of the spot where she stood. It was almost like I was used to Natalie, Natalie was home. Avery was something else, something different, that I really really felt overwhelmed by. She was new and shiny and I didn’t deserve her in any way.

  “Yes, you have some kind of sway over me. I can’t put a name to it but I like it,” Avery said.

  “Oh, I really know that feeling,” I laughed. It was just how I felt about her.

  “Shall we go back to the car before I beg you to rip my clothes off?” She said, quirking an eyebrow.

  “Don’t say those things,” I tried not to laugh. She was actually making me want to fight her a little.

  I put the last of the bag in the fridge and pushed the empty bag near the trash-can. “Come on,” I said, bothered. “Let’s just go.”

  She got under my skin. As we walked to the car I kept my guard up.

  Nat was blasting her music in my rental and I tucked myself back into the back seat.

  “Where to?” She asked.

  “Mexican food. Anywhere,” I said, over the sound of the vibrating bass. I missed the feeling of Nat when she used to drive me around. It was calming but also dangerous, I don’t know why. I trusted her, so danger shouldn’t be a part of it. Maybe the way I felt about her was the danger. Even now, that hum of excitement was there and it made me want to eat ice cream and pretend I wasn’t affected by her. It was all impossible. I loved her too much.

  39

  (Avery)

  After we ate I felt better in some ways and even hungrier in others. Watching Olivia and Nat banter-on during the meal had been entertaining. I’d grown increasingly turned on and desperate ever since the grocery store but I was past that point now.

  I didn’t know how I was going to get through the drive home without saying something about it.

  “Olivia. Your tits are hot in that dress,” Nat teased. She’d adjusted the rearview to better see. Olivia had stripped out of her sweatshirt long ago.

  “What the hell,” Olivia laughed awkwardly. “You’re probably drunk and you shouldn’t be driving. Avery, watch her.”

  “Mmm. I’m not drunk,” Nat smirked.

  “She’s not drunk, she’s right,” I said.

  I reached into the backseat to touch Olivia’s breast for a moment before withdrawing.

  “Mmm, yep,” I said.

  Olivia was sort of shocked for a second but then she looked up at me with a bit of heat in her stare.

  “Thanks. Great. Glad I came out,” she deadpanned.

  “Sorry, was that inappropriate?” I asked with a laugh.

  She had no idea what just being near her did to me right now.

  “What’s inappropriate anymore,” she shrugged. Her voice was almost raspy though in the quiet of the car. I felt her hand on my wrist, tugging me to give up my seat and come back and just be with her.

  “Oh! Hi there,” I said.

  I reached back to take her hand and I watched her face.

  “You rang?” I said.

  “Come on,” she said, tilting her head back, annoyed.

  “You’re really cute, you know that?” I asked her.

  I slid my unoccupied hand up her inner thigh.

  “Doubtful, I’d say,” she continued. “Will you get back here please?”

  “Ah, Yes ma’am,” I said.

  I crawled back and moved myself next to her. I could feel her intentions, what we both wanted.

  “See. Isn’t that better?” Olivia asked, moving my hand back down her inner thigh.

  “Ah fuck,” Nat muttered from the driver’s seat where she was stuck outside of what we had.

  “Much better,” I said.

  I glanced up to the driver’s seat to see Nat looking back.

  “Eyes on the road, Madam.”

  “You guys are killin’ me,” Nat groaned nervously.

  Olivia led my hand to rub down and up her inner thigh near the hem of her slip of a dress that left very little to the imagination. “Like that,” she instructed. “I love it.” She was watching my face as she led me to touch her.

  “Holy sweet mother of fuck,” I heard Natalie mutter under her breath.

  “You don’t even know what’s happening,” I teased her.

  I wanted to taste her instead but I also wanted to see her face. I moved my fingers closer to her sex and lightly rubbed her skin, moving her dress up.

  “Huh-” She smiled, arching her head back and trying to control what she felt. It was obvious my touch really affected her. I wasn’t doing much at all but Olivia was straining to contain herself and be still.

  I moved my other hand to the opposite thigh and positioned myself onto the floorboard as comfortably as I could. It was a bit awkward but worth it.

  “Ah fuck,” Olivia whined, watching me and biting the corner of her bottom lip to keep from whining again.

  “I’m not doing anything to you yet,” I murmured.

  I pushed up with my knees and kissed her, moving my hands in and spreading her legs at the same time so I could be between them.

  Her eyes drifted to a close in the kiss and I could taste that she’d been wanting to kiss me even more ever since we got out of the store. Well past dinner now, her own hunger had grown. Olivia was sensitive, a lot different than Nat. Her fingers held at my chin and face gently. She was trying to keep me against her.

  “Maybe you should tell Nat what I'm doing to you,” I said.

  I moved my fingers closer, leaning back so I could graze her folds with my fingertips. Her eyes flared and I could tell I made her dizzy.

  “Ah, shit,” she huffed, finally absorbing my words. “I can't do that,” she blushed.

  Nat must've found a nice open patch of road. I felt the car accelerate dramatically.

  “Are you speeding?” I teased.

  “Are you,” Nat asked. The car sped even more but then it began to slow again, most likely due to another car on the road or a light up in the distance.

  “Why can't you do that?” I asked Olivia, touching her again.

  “I, uh. Can hardly function when you touch me,” Olivia stared.

  “She's embarrassed,” Nat smiled.

  “You shouldn’t be. It’ll make Nat crazy and it’ll make me very turned on,” I told her.

  I got it though. She wasn’t one to verbalize like that. Yet.

  “Natalie, what do you think I should do to Olivia?” I asked just for fun.

  “What she wants,” Nat said. “Or what I would do. Which is- many things. Take her underwear off,” Nat recommended. “Olivia used to go without them sometimes, just to mess with me,” she described. “It was hot.”

  “She’s got them on now,” I said.

  I reached my hands up and wrapped my fingers aroun
d either side of the waistband of her underwear.

  “Lift up,” I said to Olivia.