by Mary Calmes
"What?" I smiled as the heat raced along my skin.
"He said, "So, dipshit, when you gonna go get your boy?'"
"Are you kidding?" I was stunned. He called me Sam's boy?
"Yeah. He's embraced my alternative lifestyle very quickly."
"Is three years quickly?"
"More like two," he said, pressing a kiss into the crook of my neck. "You smell so good."
"Quit."
"You wanna see my old room?"
"No."
"I think ya do."
"No." I smiled, but I didn't laugh. It was a victory for me.
"How 'bout my old bed? It doesn't creak much."
"Sam—"
"My dad is crazy about you. Everyone is."
I let out a deep breath.
"You're the only one everybody likes, in fact."
He sounded odd, so I turned my head to look at him.
"Huh." He was really thinking about what he'd just said.
"That's really interesting. Everybody else has a problem with at least one other person in the family."
I smiled at him as he looked down into my eyes.
"Except you."
I arched a brow for him.
"Funny."
But I was likable. Dane always said so.
* * * *
I had never been in Sam's room before and I had no idea why. Maybe because I'd never been invited, and to go without being asked seemed like an intrusion. But he had offered, so I was there, alone, looking at his bookshelves, at the pictures tacked to the corkboard, at trophies and a letterman jacket hanging by itself on a hook behind the door.
"In case you missed it," he said from behind me. "I wanted to come up here with you."
I hadn't even heard him open the door. "I know, I just wanted to see what you were like when you were younger.
Where'd ya keep the porn?"
He chuckled and walked up behind me. I felt him there like a wall of heat, and when he kissed the crook of my neck, I tilted my head so he could reach more. Instantly, his arms wrapped me up, holding me tight against his chest.
"We should've stayed home."
"Why?"
"'Cause all I can think about is last night."
"And?"
"I wanna go back to bed."
I felt my heart flutter and I trembled hard. I couldn't help it; my body just reacted to the sound of his voice, the low, throaty quality of it that just dripped sex.
"Your body was always beautiful, but now...." He put a hand in my hair. "Damn, baby."
I couldn't take it. "Sam," I barely got out.
He turned me in his arms, bent and kissed me in one fluid motion. His mouth was sealed over mine, his tongue sliding over my lips as I opened them for him. One of his hands was on the small of my back, the other one lower on my ass, kneading, caressing me through my jeans. My hands were in his hair, holding him close to me, kissing back with every drop of need in me. I was hungry for him and he wanted me just as bad.
"Wow, that's hot."
We broke the kiss, flying apart, both of us facing the sound of the voice at the door.
"Oh, don't stop on my account." Rachel smiled first at her brother and then me. The twinkle in her eyes was absolutely evil. "You two go right ahead."
"Aww," Jen said from beside her. "You guys are adorable together."
"Uh," Sam groaned. "Talk about a buzz kill."
Rachel's arched eyebrow, Jen's clasped hands held to her heart, and Sam's scowl—it was all too much. I dissolved into laughter. I loved Sam's family.
Another groan from him and I could barely breathe.
"He's so cute," Rachel said, smiling at me.
"Oh yeah," Sam exhaled. "He's a goddamn riot."
Later on, after everyone ate and I helped clean for almost two hours, Beverly at my side making points the entire time, I went and found Sam. He was watching more football with his dad, stretched out on the recliner, and I sat down on the arm of the chair. I felt his hand on my back, and when I looked down at him, he patted his chest. I sank down on top of him, my head under his chin, one arm under him, the other draped across his chest. I was so comfortable and he was so warm. I fell asleep with him stroking my back.
I woke up because Sam's dad yelled.
"Shhh, you'll wake him up," Sam whispered harshly.
"And so what if I do? Maybe he'll give me better answers then you."
"Mom," he called for her.
"Thomas," I heard Regina soothe him. "Leave your son alone. He's done well today. He brought his boy back home and I'm sure he's not stupid enough to let him go again."
"Mom," he groaned, and I felt the sigh come up out of him.
"What do you want me to say, darling?" she asked him patiently. "That whatever this boy wants you to do, you should do, so he never leaves you? Why you let him go in the first place is completely beyond me. Didn't you know you loved him?"
"'Course."
"But not how much. You had no clue how it would feel to lose him."
No answer, he simply took a deep breath.
"I knew. He's the best thing that ever happened to you."
"Mom," he began, groaning. "I didn't leave him. I had a job to do and I needed to keep him safe and—"
"You deny it?"
"Deny what?"
"That he's the best thing that ever happened to you."
"No, but I'm trying to tell you why I—"
"There's no but, my love. Before him you were a wild thing with no one to care for you. All those women and not one that could keep a home for you."
"Mom," he complained. "There weren't that many—"
"I prayed for a wife for you every night," she interrupted him. "And now I know the Lord, he heard my prayers, he just knew better than me what was best for you. I understand now because when I see the way Jory looks at you, my heart hurts with joy."
"Okay, Mom."
"He's an angel straight from heaven."
"Yes, he is," he agreed, and I felt his fingers trailing through my hair.
"You are so happy when he's with you. Everyone said to me tonight, Regina, your son is radiant."
"I'm sure they did, Mom."
"Sarcasm is not lost on me, Samuel."
"Christ."
"Sam!"
"Sorry—sorry, I just—"
"Be quiet. Just sit there and hush."
"How come no one's on my side?" he grumbled, shifting so he could kiss my forehead.
"What's your side?" Michael asked.
"That I had to go and—"
"But you're the man," Thomas argued in his medieval mindset. "As soon as you got back you should have gone to him, told him how things would be. This is your place, Sam."
"It doesn't work like that."
"Why?"
"'Cause I don't own him, Pop."
"No?"
"You know I don't. Jory does what he wants to do."
"And so now he wants to be with you?"
"Yes. I think so. I hope so."
"You don't know?"
"I told him how I wanted it to be but... he's gotta say."
"He doesn't say, you say, and he's here now, so whatever you do, you keep him."
"Aww, man, it's not my fault I had to go. I—"
"But it is your fault that it took so long to come back. You should thank God Jory did not find someone new. Where would you be then?"
"Who cares whose fault it was?" I heard Michael throw in.
"It only matters that it's fixed now."
"Christ, I wasn't in that bad a shape."
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain!" Regina scolded him.
"Mom, that wasn't taking—"
"You sure as shit were," Michael interrupted him. "I mean, you know it's gotta be bad when even Beverly, who barely knows you, can see the difference."
"Oh yeah? What can you see?" I heard Sam bait her.
"No, Sam, I only meant that—"
"Oh no, little girl, you're in it," Thomas explained to
her.
"Say what you think."
"Okay." I heard her voice shake. "I just mentioned to Mikey that you look really good today. It's like I said earlier, I've never seen you look better."
"I see."
"Are you upset with me?" she asked slowly, her voice very small.
I pressed against him, squeezing him tight, before slipping a leg between his. I wanted to listen, but I was just too sleepy. I kissed his throat and then snuggled back down, my head over his heart, letting out a contented sigh.
"No," I heard him answer before I dropped off again. "I've got my boy back, there's no way I could be pissed at anyone right now."
"So what are you going to do now, Sammy?" I heard Jen ask.
She must have walked into the room.
"Whatever he wants me to."
"Oooh, that's a nice answer." She laughed and everyone joined her.
I woke up much later and looked around the room.
Thomas was yelling at the TV and Regina was smiling at me. I turned and saw Michael, with his attention on the screen, and Beverly sitting quietly beside him.
"Oh I'm so sorry." I yawned, smiling at Regina. "I missed everybody."
"It doesn't matter," she said cheerfully. "There will be other times for you to see them."
My face must have given her pause.
"Jory?"
"Regina," I hedged, "I don't know if—"
"What?"
"I don't know if Sam and I are gonna—"
"What?" Thomas snapped, turning to look at me, and I had Michael's attention as well.
"I have a job I love and a life, and I think that Sam—"
"Since when do I care what you think?" Thomas asked dryly. "I don't care. It's Sam's fault you went away in the first place, but if you leave again it's all on you, Jory."
"Thomas!"
"Regina, do you hear what he's saying? He's going to leave your son."
"No, that's not what I'm saying. I just...." I shook my head, rising up off of Sam, awkwardly getting to my feet. I was all tangled up in him and almost took a header into the coffee table before I found my legs. I moved to stand over Thomas. "I'm not saying I'm leaving him, it's just moving too fast and—"
"Wait," Thomas put up a hand in front of me. "Do you love my son?"
This was a thousand times worse than how I had imagined it. I looked over at Regina and she looked as though someone had slapped her.
"I don't know if I—"
"You don't love him?" Michael asked pointedly.
"No, I love him, I—"
"It's one or the other," Thomas said solemnly. "Which is it, Jory?"
"Jory?" Regina prodded me.
"I just, it's like a minute old, ya know? He just comes storming back into my life and... I need a second to breathe.
I can't promise you anything right this second."
They were all staring up at me and I felt terrible. Here they were, ready to welcome me with open arms, and I was on the fence.
"What the hell's going on?" I heard Sam growl behind me.
"Listen," Thomas said quickly, rising up in front of me and grabbing me into his arms in one fluid motion. I was crushed against him as he whispered into my hair. "He needs you and you need him. Don't let something as insignificant as time change your heart. When it's right, you know, and I think you do."
I trembled in his arms and he rubbed the back of my head like I'd seen him do with his grandchildren.
"Seriously, what the hell is going on? Why're you cryin', Mom?"
"I'm so happy. Jory's home."
"Mike?"
"What?" he snapped at Sam.
"Are you crying?"
"In your dreams, asswipe."
"Mikey, don't curse in your parents' home."
"Sorry, Bev," he apologized. "I meant to say asshole."
"Mikey!" Beverly yelled.
"Michael!" Regina yelled.
"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Bev," he apologized to both of them.
"Oh," Regina clapped her hands. "I'm so happy."
"Christ."
"Samuel Thomas Kage!"
He groaned.
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain!" Thomas bellowed at his son, finally letting me go. "You stay with us, Jory. This family needs you," he said sincerely, his eyes all soft and liquid.
"That's such a nice thing to say."
"I know," he said arrogantly. "Now, this Sunday we're having deer for dinner. My brother Joe will be back from his hunting trip."
Eating Bambi. I felt my stomach roll. "Great."
He patted my face.
"Jory dear, come help me in the kitchen." Regina smiled, getting up off the couch. "Who wants cake?"
I turned and looked down at Sam. I couldn't stop smiling.
What a weird twenty-four hours this had been.
"Baby, I'm sorry," he said worriedly, standing up in front of me. "We can go slow and—"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Yeah. What's the point?"
He was searching my face. "But you've been such a basket case about me coming back into—"
"And I'm still worried, Sam, but what am I gonna do, just live in fear that something's gonna go wrong? I mean, c'mon—something will always go wrong, we just gotta roll with it this time. I mean, I don't know if you feel it, but... and maybe it's as simple as we're both older, I dunno, I just...." I took a steadying breath. "I'm at the job I'm gonna keep, ya know, and I have Dylan and Chris and friends that have stuck around, and of course Dane and now his wife Aja and... I just didn't have you, and now you're here so... and I've got your family's blessing... I figure," I shrugged, "I'm good to go."
He gave me a crooked grin. "So you're saying what? You'll move in with me?"
"No." I shook my head. "That part we do need to take slow."
"Then what?"
"We can date."
He scowled at me. "I don't wanna date you, I wanna live with you."
"Well, you get to date me." I smiled at him. "You gotta start somewhere."
"I want you to move in with me."
"Let me explain something to you," I began, "you can keep saying that, but it's not gonna change anything."
Just the very corner of his lip curved. "Oh no?"
"Let's see how it goes, Sam."
He nodded. "It's gonna go so great, you're gonna be begging me to move in."
"We'll see."
"But you won't see anyone else," he was clarifying, making sure. "I'm the only one you're sleeping with from now on, right?"
"Right."
"Okay," he said. "I'll take it, it's a start."
I just looked at him. He'd take it; like he had a choice....
The man was hilarious. Of course he'd take it; it was all he was going to get right now.
He put his hands on my face. "You mean it, right? There's only gonna be me."
Did I mean it? I searched my heart just to make sure nothing felt weird. I purposefully tried to think of our worst times, but all that came to mind was us having breakfast in the middle of the afternoon. Just the two of us together in his apartment, sitting and eating, being together and talking about the events of the night. It felt comfortable and right.
There was only good stuff, nothing bad.
"Yeah, I mean it," I told him. "And God help you when Dane gets back from his honeymoon."
"I don't give a shit about Dane Harcourt." He grabbed me roughly, and his arms were around me as he lifted me off my feet. "I just care about you, J. I'm gonna make you so happy this time. I swear to God."
I smiled, wrapping my arms around him, holding him tight.
"What? You love me?"
"I do," he said, and I felt the shiver run through his huge frame. "You know I do."
"Yeah?"
"Fuck, yeah."
I really needed to work on the swearing. "Yeah, well. I love you too." I sighed in his arms. "It's exhausting, but I do."
"I know, baby. I know."
Chapter Seven
"What?" I smiled back.
"These are keys to your place, right?" he asked, rolling them in his hand.
"Yeah. You should have a set."
The muscles in his jaw clenched tight. "Thank you."
"Are you okay?"
He nodded.
"Good," I said, leaning up to touch his face. "Me too."
He grabbed me tight and kissed me hard. Who knew a set of keys could make the man so happy?
* * * *
That night Sam had arranged for me to meet his partner and her boyfriend for the first time. I wanted to make a really good impression, but I was so nervous that I did what I always did when I was either worried or bored—I drank. By the time Sam got to the restaurant with his guests and collected me at the bar, the hour head start that I had on them made it impossible for me to be anything but funny and charming as all hell. I was good tipsy and a fun drunk, and so people were always torn between worrying about me getting wasted and the fun they had when I was. When I was drinking I was the life of the party, and I realized that was how I wanted to be when I met Sam's partner. I wanted her to love me.
Chloe Stazzi was warm and kind and her boyfriend Jason Cozza was one of those strong, silent types. That I got him laughing surprised both her and Sam. After that I could do no wrong. We went to sing karaoke after dinner and I got Jason up on stage with me. Chloe fell out of her chair watching us sing "Love Will Keep Us Together" and then dancing around on the stage. Sam was very pleased with me, but when he bought the next few rounds, I noticed I had a Long Island Ice Tea without the Long Island.
"What's going on?" I asked him, trying to focus my eyes.
"You're done," he assured me. "You drink too much, babe, and if I'm gonna stop swearing, you're gonna sober up."
"Me? I drink too much?"
"Yeah." He smiled evilly. "Ya do, and even though you're cute as hell, we're gonna cut this off."