by K. A Knight
"Are you going to let me in or just stare?" I tease, so used to our banter. He swallows hard and steps back to let me in, but he doesn't speak.
Walking past him I take in the mess that is his office. He doesn't tend to see people in here but damn. Food and lots of recycled cups are littered around his desk, and I crinkle my nose at the smell. He hurries past and his cheeks turn red as he tries to throw some of it into the bin. Okay, this is awkward, and it only makes me sad. We never struggled to talk before, hell, we were inseparable and one fight has changed that. He won't even look at me, hasn't said a word to me, and I can see this is hurting him as much as it is me.
"Evvie," I say softly and he hunches his shoulders. Okay, looks like I need to be the bigger person here. I touch his back softly and he turns around to face me, his face looks like he is waiting for a bomb to drop.
"I don't want to fight, I came to see how you are." I don't mention the med check up yet just so he doesn’t think I am using him. He looks down and I drop my hand before he grabs it and holds it to his chest.
"How do you think I am?" he mutters, staring at our joined hands. "I miss you Pip."
It shatters my heart at the pain and vulnerability in his voice. "I miss you to Evvie."
He looks up and searches my eyes. "Do you?"
I tilt my head in confusion. "Of course I do, why would you even ask that?"
He looks back down again. "No reason," he mumbles, but I let go of his hand and raise his chin.
"Nope, we don't do that. We don't lie to each other," I remind, begging him to talk to me so maybe we can sort this out. He obviously feels as rotten as I do.
"Just that, I saw you and you didn't seem to be missing me." His eyes lower to the floor and I blow out a breath.
"Evan, look at me," I demand, channelling my inner Jago. When he raises his eyes I cup his face. "Never doubt how I feel about you, you are my everything, I am lost without you, of course I missed you." I search his eyes, imploring him to realise what I am saying.
"I just don't want you to get hurt," he whispers, and I see the pain and truth in his eyes, no matter what stupid things we say or throw at each other, this is what it boils down to.
"I know, but you have to realise this is what I want to do. You just need to support me." He yanks his face away and runs his hand through his hair.
"I can't, I just can't Pip," he grumbles, begging me with his eyes to understand. Anger bursts to life in my chest, he isn't even giving me the benefit of the doubt or listening to me. Does he really think I would be that stupid with my own life? I am not a child living in the clouds. I know how dangerous it is. Not wanting to start a fight I take a deep breath.
"Just come and see me fight, you will see that I am good, and it's not like I am seeking out fights. I am going on patrol with plenty of other guards, they wouldn't let me go if they weren't sure!" I beg, trying to get him to see reason, but it was the wrong thing to say. He shuts down.
"Yes, I have seen you with the other guards," he sneers and I frown in confusion. "I came to see you, to make up, obviously you were not as bothered as I was, and I watched you fight today. You are doing this for stupid reasons and you will get yourself killed like your parents," he says, straightening his shoulders as he rips out my heart. I gasp and stumble back. I see him wince but he doesn't take it back.
"You are never going to accept this or support me, are you?" I ask sadly, seeing the truth in his eyes. He would rather sabotage our relationship.
He stares at me as I step back, the distance between us bigger than ever before. Getting my teeth, I ensure my face is blank. "Well, that's that then. I guess from now on we go on as polite strangers. I will stop telling you about my life and you do the same."
I see the tears gathering in his eyes but he nods. "I think that's for the best if you are dead set on destroying yourself."
It's like another blow to my already hurting heart. I can't take much more. "Goodbye, Evvie." I turn around and walk away before I do something stupid like forgive him. We are just too different. I can’t keep letting it slip by and he can’t get his head out of his ass. Life is too short to put up with shit. Maybe one day he will regret his decision, but right now it’s what is best for both of us. This time a sense of peace settles in my chest even as it hurts, at least I know I gave it another shot. I gave him a chance, and now everything is on his shoulders. I will miss him, but maybe it is for the best. I just wish my heart could accept that.
I stumble from his office in a daze, heading back to my room to shower and get ready for tonight. His words keep ringing in my head, hurting me every time.
"Hey, what's wrong sweetie?Break up with your boyfriend?" a familiar voice calls and I roll my eyes, not even looking back as I turn the corner. I spot my mistake easily, I shouldn't have ignored him and with the corridor being empty, it was a bad move.
I don't hear him until it’s too late, I blame my hurting heart but in reality, I never expected him to attack me. Throw barbs, sure, but actually attack me? Nope.
Eel slams me into the wall, his arm across my throat as he grins at me. His body traps mine and I know I am not strong enough to fight him off this way so I relax into the wall and give him a calm expression.
"What's up, buttercup, forgot to beat your meat today?" I joke.
His face turns red and he adds pressure to my neck, I don't let it show, even as it hurts, knowing it will only egg him on.
"You really should talk to someone about your anger, there are things they can do, like, you know, cut of your tiny dick and make you into the woman you so clearly want to be." I laugh and he cuts off my breath, making me choke. He lets go a little bit and I suck in a much-needed breath.
"Seriously, how did you find out about my kink for choking? Did I say ‘yes, Daddy,’ while Beast was doing it earlier?" I taunt and his face looks like it is going to explode.
Pushing his dick into my stomach he smirks at me. "You talk too much, I can make that stop."
"Ew, are you on about killing me and fucking my body? Cause dude, that's weird." He growls and smashes my head back into the wall.
"Ow," I moan, gritting my teeth against the throbbing that instantly starts at the base of my skull.
"Seriously, what do you think is going to happen here? That I am going to let you stick your one-eyed monster in me?" I taunt.
"Shut up!" he screams, smashing my head back against the wall, again and again until I am dizzy and can't keep it upright. He grabs my chin and holds it up so I have to stare at him. Blinking hard I breathe through the bile rising in my throat. Hell, maybe I should just be sick on him. "You are so fucking annoying, thinking you are all that just because you sucked his cock to get into the programme. You have another thing coming, you won't make it one minute out there and I will make your life fucking hell." His spit rains down on my face and I scrunch my nose.
"Ew, say it, don't spray it," I gasp through the pain. If he is waiting for me to be scared he has another thing coming. Jago scares me more on a daily basis, plus, if I really needed to, I could take him.
I don't see the fist coming until it hits me, that sounds like a really bad song title. Groaning, I reach up and hold my face. I feel blood drip from my nose and I know that prick just split my lip. "Watch your back," he sneers and lets me go.
"That's impossible, you massive twatopotomus!" I shout.
Fuck, that hurt.
I stumble back to my room and when I look in the mirror, I cringe. There is no way I am hiding this from Jago. Shit, I didn't get med checked, looks like I can kill two birds with one stone.
I didn't answer any of the questions at med bay and luckily Evan wasn't there. A plump, older man whose name I can never remember took one look at me and rolled his eyes. After checking me over, he patched up my face the best he could and sent me on my way. I managed to grab some food and coffee before I made my way to the bunker room door hangar.
Leaning back against the wall, I watch as the patrol shifts change over.
I missed the vehicles coming back, but I watch as they unload their finds and fill back up on supplies for the next patrol. I get some weird looks, but soon enough they ignore me and are laughing and joking with each other.
I can't wait to go out there, I wonder what it is like. Will it be everything I imagined, do people still live out there? Cities, are they still a thing? All the things my mum and dad showed me and told me stories about...
"Well, look who showed up," comes a snide voice, this time I ignore him, knowing he won't try anything with so many people around.
I can almost feel the moment Jago walks in, I purposely don't look at him but I feel Eel next to me straighten.
"What the fuck are you waiting for recruit, C Team, fucking move," he growls.
"Yes, sir, sorry sir," Eel says before scrambling over to C Team in the corner who are packing up and ready to leave for patrol.
"Did you go and—what the fuck happened to your face?" Jago demands, stopping in front of me, his face contorted in fury and his muscles bunched as if to attack someone.
"Well, you did nickname me Brawler right?" I laugh and he steps closer, his eyes spitting, he is that angry.
"No fucking jokes, who the fuck did that?" he demands, his cheek twitching and I think he might explode with how red he is getting.
"Why, you going to hurt them for me?" I ask.
"I am going to kill them," he growls and I sigh.
"You can't, the rumours are bad enough, if you get pulled up for hurting someone because I got jumped we both know I will get kicked from the programme and you will get disciplined," I explain rationally, even as a part of me jumps at his beast side.
"I don't give a fuck, tell me." His voice is getting quieter and more deadly, and I know he means business.
"I think it's safer that I don't." I smile at him and his eyes narrow.
"I would never hurt you," he defends, making me laugh.
"I know that, I meant safer for the guy who did this." I point at my face and he glowers again.
Reaching across he runs his thumb along my split lip. "When I find out, I am going to rip them limb from limb," he says it softly, almost caringly, and the threat coupled with him touching me makes me want to climb him.
"We should get going, are we all packed?" I ask, trying to distract myself from the thought of riding him down to the floor in front of everyone.
He just grunts and pulls his thumb back, licking the blood from it. I watch his tongue and almost groan, he doesn't play fair.
"Follow me, Brawler," he orders, and I groan at the nickname before following him across the bunker. He goes around all the big patrol teams, nodding in greeting before we reach the very edge where a strange vehicle sits. All the others are like trucks and RV's. This is...a fucking tank. It's obvious he has spent a long time modding it out and I whistle appreciatively. Metal panels cover nearly every inch of the car, the windows have bars over them, and when he opens the boot he reveals a fucking armoury. I have to bite my lip to hold in my smile, it suits him. A big fucking truck filled with sharp, deadly things. He throws a bag from the floor inside and shuts up the back before turning to me.
"We have been asked to pull an all night patrol, to check out a certain sector that a patrol noted earlier as being occupied. You will follow everything I say or I will tie you inside the car." He arches his eyebrow and I grin.
"Yes, sir," I mock, making him grunt again.
"Get in, Brawler," he throws over his shoulder, as he makes his way to the driver's seat, my eyes locked on his ass.
"We really need to work on my nickname, Beast," I call, dragging my eyes away to make my way around the car. I have to grab onto a safety bar inside and yank myself in, it’s that tall.
"No, we don't," he says, revving up the car and facing the bunker door as a siren starts to sound, making me jump. The bastard just grins. "Hold on, you are about to see the Wastes."
We share a grin as the large white bunker door starts to roll up, excitement courses through my body, everything I’ve been working for coming to light, even everything my parents worked for. I just hope it’s worth the sacrifice of losing my best friend.
The first thing I notice is it's bright, real fucking bright...and warm, did I mention it’s warm? We pull out of the bunker and the heat hits me immediately. I basically have my nose stuck to the glass as I try to take everything in. I hear Jago snigger, but I ignore him. It's so...desolate. Nothing but sand and broken parts of buildings and dead trees surround us as we carve a path through the Waste. With each passing mile, my heart drops and reality comes crashing in. I knew it would be bad out here, but I never expected this! Where is humanity? Where are the people trying to rebuild? Instead, it looks like nature has taken over and the world just gave up.
“Not what you expected?” Jago asks, his voice soft and not filled with condemnation or teasing. Sighing, I sit back and look out of the front window.
“Not really, are we the only ones left?” I inquire, something we are not supposed to question but I need to know.
“Yes and no. The people that are left are...medieval. Fighters, some of the worst of humanity, and children that grew up knowing nothing else. The world is a dark place now, filled with death and people who will kill you for a ration.” Looking around us I can imagine that and it makes me feel grateful for the sanctuary of Paradise. I can’t imagine going hungry or having to fight continually, not even knowing if you are safe to sleep.
“Well, fuck a duck. I bet I could get a good tan though,” I joke, unable to stop myself from breaking the tension. He doesn't roll his eyes like Evan would, he snorts and look over at me.
He carries on driving and I watch our surroundings, trying to keep upbeat. “Want to play a game?” I ask and I hear him grunt. “I am taking that as a yes, a grunting yes sooo… I spy with my little eye something beginning with s.” I turn to look at him to see him eyeing me. “This is the part where you guess, I can see how you are confused. I bet no one ever played with little beastie!” I grin as his eyes narrow.
“Don’t call me that,” he groans when I just keep staring. “Fine, I don’t know, fucking sand?” He sounds so put out I can’t help but laugh.
“No silly. That would be f,” I tease.
“Sand Brawler, you see sand,” he says, his voice pained, making me grin.
“Yep! You’re turn!” I chirp cheerfully and he stares at me again.
“You’re weird, do you know that? Why don’t you react like a normal person?” He sounds more confused than anything and I just shrug.
“Normal isn’t a thing. You have boring people and people who are trying to impress the boring people. I chose to be neither. I don't give a shit what those jerking jackapotmauses think. And it's still your turn.”
He groans again even as his lips twitch. “Fine. I spy something beginning with b.”
I pretend to think, tapping my chin. “Is it boobs? Because, dude, you really need to stop looking at them. I mean I stare at your ass, but it’s rude to point out that you are ogling my assets.”
“It’s not boobs,” he says with a long suffering sigh.
“Wow, so you don’t even look at my boobs? Now I’m offended, I mean I know they aren’t huge but I think they still are pretty nice, you know? Good handful and nice little nipples.” To reinforce my point I pull down my top and grab one.
“Fucking hell, Brawler.” The car slams to a stop as he gapes at me, my tit still out between us.
Tilting my head with an innocent expression I blink at him. “Yes?”
He sputters, gesturing at the tit. “You can’t just sit there talking about your tits and taking them out! I would have fucking crashed.”
I look around pointedly. “Into what? Sand, nothingness? Plus, you brought them up,” I explain sullenly and he stares at me incredulously, seemingly lost for words.
“I didn’t bring up your tits, you did!” His voice is getting higher and higher.
“Wow, okay, someone is defensive. It�
�s just a boob dude.” I shove said boob back in my top.
He stares at me, his mouth hanging open, and I get bored of just sitting here. Leaning forward I flick his nose. “Boop, now was it bricks?” I ask and he shakes his head. Looking back to the road then to me a few times.
“No? Okay, was it bacon? Please say it was bacon, we had it once on a special occasion and I still have wet dreams about it.”
“I don’t know how to respond to that,” he admits, turning and pulling the handbrake as we start back through the Wastes.
Shrugging, I look back out the window. “Was it…oh! Was it Brawler?” I say, turning to see his cheeks heat a little.
“Yes,” he mumbles and I grin widely.
“Aww, little beasty. That’s so cute,” I coo and he grunts, tightening his hands on the steering wheel.
“Fuck off,” he grumbles and I grin wider.
“See, I knew you liked me and not just for my boobs.”
He groans painfully. “Please, can we stop talking about your boobs?”
“Fiinee, wanna talk about yours?” I respond sweetly.
“Give me fucking strength,” I hear him mutter under his breath.
“Dude, we aren’t in Fallout. You can’t pick your character's attributes,” I point out helpfully.
“Fallout?” he asks, sounding like he really wishes he hadn’t asked.
“Yep, it's a cool game. Evan and I snuck into the media lounge for guards once and they had this old school station and game.”
“You and Evan okay now?” he asks, instantly plummeting my mood.
“No,” I confess and look out of the window, not wanting to talk about it. I feel him stare at me but I concentrate on the outside world.