A Nightmare on Clown Street

by R. L. Stine

  He leaned back on both hands. “No one knows his real name. Everyone just knows him as The Frightener.” He shook his head. “When he was little, it seems he was frightened by a carnival clown. He must have been really frightened, because he never got over it. From then on, all clowns terrified him.

  “Even as an adult, clowns made him shriek in fright and have terrible nightmares. He became obsessed with clowns. He promised himself he would punish clowns for scaring him so badly. He decided to take his revenge on as many clowns as he could.”

  “Wow,” I muttered. “I’ve heard of people being scared of clowns. But they always deal with it.”

  “The Frightener couldn’t deal with it,” Uncle Theo said. “He built Clown Street Prison. He hired ringmasters and circus owners to work for him.”

  Uncle Theo turned to Deanna. “Mr. HahaFace, your father, works for The Frightener. He sends clowns here to be The Frightener’s prisoners.”

  Deanna pressed her hands against her cheeks. “I didn’t know,” she murmured. “I didn’t know my father was so cruel, so evil.”

  “He isn’t,” Uncle Theo said. “He doesn’t want to work for The Frightener. He’s terrified of The Frightener, too. He doesn’t want to do The Frightener’s bidding. But your father has no choice. He does it to keep you safe.”

  “Oh, my goodness.” Deanna covered her face with both hands. I think I saw tears in her eyes.

  Uncle Theo leaned forward and continued his story. “The Frightener makes every clown walk through a machine when they enter the prison. It looks like one of those x-ray machines at the airport. But the machine sends out a ray that makes your clown makeup permanent.” He swiped at the red makeup on his face. “It can never be removed.”

  “That’s horrible!” I cried.

  “Everything is horrible here,” Uncle Theo said. He sighed again. “We clowns are forced to entertain The Frightener and his family and all his guests.”

  “Entertain them? How?” Deanna asked.

  “By fighting the killer squid. Or fighting the bear. We have to fight for our lives out there while The Frightener’s friends and family cheer and laugh.”

  I swallowed. “We all have to fight?”

  Uncle Theo nodded. “And guess what? The bear and the squid usually win the battles. That’s why The Frightener needs more and more clowns for his prison.”

  He swatted a fly on his shoulder and flicked it onto the floor. “We’re like this fly,” he said, his voice trembling. “Waiting for someone to squash us flat.”

  He snapped his fingers. “Oh. I forgot one thing. When we’re not fighting for our lives in the arena, The Frightener sends us out. He sends us to entertain at kids’ birthday parties. And he keeps all the money the parents pay. That’s how he supports this prison. Do you believe it? We go out and earn the money so that he can keep forcing us to fight for our lives in the arena.”

  The three of us sat in silence. I tried to think about all my uncle had told us. But it was so crazy and so horrifying, it was impossible to get my head around it.

  “Uncle Theo, there’s got to be a way out of here,” I said finally.

  He shook his head. “There isn’t any way,” he said. “Once you’re on Clown Street —”

  He didn’t finish his sentence. We were interrupted by a ferocious roar out in the arena. Then a man let out a high, shrill shriek of pain. The crowd burst into wild applause.

  Deanna covered her face with her hands again. I sat stunned, frozen in horror, my eyes shut. Trying not to picture what had just happened out there.

  When I opened my eyes, I saw a gray-uniformed prison guard unlocking our cell. He tossed in two dry clown costumes. “These are for the both of you,” he said. “Put them on. The bear doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

  The guard slammed the cell door shut and checked to make sure it was locked. I handed a costume to Deanna. They were both white with big blue polka dots and blue ruffles around the collars.

  I turned to Uncle Theo, who stood watching in the next cell. “Do you think we’re really going to be next?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I think he was just trying to scare you.”

  “Well, he did a good job of it,” I said.

  Deanna and I started to pull on the clown suits. In a cell across from us, a tall, lanky beanpole of a clown silently practiced juggling three lemons. In the cell next to him, a woman clown with a long yellow mop wig on her head sang a song softly to herself.

  “Whoa!” I let out a cry when I saw Bingo-Bongo in the next cell. I waved to him. He shook his head sadly and waved back.

  “They make us stay in costume all the time,” Uncle Theo said. “In case The Frightener chooses us to go entertain his guests.”

  I could see that Deanna was fighting back tears. “I just keep thinking about my poor father,” she said. “I can’t believe he has to do such evil work.”

  “He isn’t evil,” Uncle Theo told her. “He’s just frightened. He sends clowns here because he has no choice.”

  “But — but —” Deanna sputtered.

  Above our heads, a speaker crackled loudly. A voice boomed from speakers all down the prison. “Silence, clowns. Silence, everyone. The Frightener has an important announcement.”

  “He always uses the loudspeaker,” Uncle Theo whispered. “He never talks to us in person. That’s because he’s still terrified of clowns.”

  The speakers crackled again. Then the voice of The Frightener rang out through the prison.

  “Listen up, clowns. This is to inform you that my nephew Freddy is having a birthday party. We want to make his party very special, don’t we? To do that, ALL of you will entertain Freddy and his friends.”

  He cleared his throat. Then his deep voice echoed through the cells again.

  “The party will be at Freddy’s house. You will entertain in his living room. I’ll be there. Of course, I won’t be in the same room with you. I’ll be in the dining room, and I’ll be listening.

  “Let this be a warning to you. You’d better make my nephew and his friends laugh. You’d better give Freddy the best birthday party ever. If you don’t …”

  He paused. Then he continued in a lower, menacing voice:

  “If you don’t … you will all go into the bear cage at the same time. And the bear will have a party of his own! Hahahaha!”

  He laughed hard at his own cruel joke. I covered my ears until he stopped. The sound of his laughter made my stomach tighten into a knot.

  I thought about his chilling words. I thought about the birthday party. More than a dozen clowns in Freddy’s living room, all being funny at once. A dozen clowns jammed into the living room … with The Frightener listening in the next room.

  Listening and judging.

  Suddenly, Uncle Theo’s voice broke into my thoughts. “This means big trouble, Ray. We’re in a lot of danger. Why are you smiling?”

  I turned to him. “Uncle Theo,” I said, “I think I have an escape plan.”

  I was eager to tell my plan to Deanna and Uncle Theo. But guards were checking all the cells. So I had to wait. I definitely didn’t want to be overheard.

  When the guards left, Deanna and I huddled near my uncle’s cell. I told him my idea, speaking in a hushed voice through the bars.

  “What if we go to the birthday party, but we don’t make the kids laugh?” I started. “What if we all act as scary as we can? And instead of making Freddy and his friends laugh … we make them scream.”

  “I get it,” Deanna said. “We terrify the kids. We get them screaming their heads off …”

  “And The Frightener will have to come into the living room to see what all the screaming is about,” I said. “And when he does, we clowns surround him. We terrify him.”

  “That’s good,” Uncle Theo whispered. “The Frightener is already scared to death of us. And if he is circled by clowns, scary clowns, all trying to frighten him …”

  “He’ll freak out,” I said. “He’ll go into shock.
We’ll scare him so badly, he’ll be helpless to stop us all from escaping.”

  “It’s a crazy idea,” Deanna said.

  “But it could work,” Uncle Theo said. “We could surround The Frightener, put him into shock, and then just make a run for it. Run for our lives. It’s crazy. It’s a desperate plan. But we’ve got to try it.”

  “And what’s the worst thing that could happen?” I said.

  Deanna frowned at me. “The bear cage for everyone?”

  I swallowed. “Well … yes. There is the bear cage …”

  Uncle Theo poked his hand through the bars and bumped knuckles with me. “This is good thinking, Ray. Now let’s pass the word down the cells and get all the clowns practicing to be as scary as they can.”

  It took only a few minutes for the idea to get passed from cell to cell to all the prisoners.

  “This is awesome,” I whispered to Deanna. “Everyone will be ready. And we—”

  I didn’t finish my sentence. The loudspeakers crackled to life again.

  Once again, the deep voice of The Frightener boomed through the prison.

  “Attention, clowns,” he said. “I’ve changed my mind. My nephew decided he doesn’t want any clowns at his party.”

  I let out a groan of disappointment. I dropped to my knees on the cell floor.

  Deanna balled her hands into tight fists. There was no one to punch, so she punched the air. “I don’t believe it,” she muttered.

  A hush fell over the rows of cells. I could see how disappointed everyone was.

  But then The Frightener’s booming laugh blared from the loudspeakers.

  “Hahahahaha. Just kidding!” he said. “Just messing with you. You know me. I like to have a little fun!”

  “Oh, yeah. He’s a fun guy,” Uncle Theo whispered.

  The Frightener continued. And what he said wasn’t much fun. “The bus will take you all to my nephew’s house. And … listen to me carefully. You’d better get BIG laughs at the party. The bear is very hungry.”

  The gray prison bus carried all of us clowns to The Frightener’s nephew’s house. The bus smelled stale and pukey, and the windows were so smeared with dirt, we could barely see out.

  No one spoke as we bumped along the narrow road. I guessed everyone was thinking about the escape plan. Did it stand a tiny chance of working?

  We turned onto a long, smooth driveway. I stared out through the smeared window. “The house is a mansion,” I told Deanna beside me. “Check it out. Tennis courts on one side and a swimming pool on the other.”

  “Forget about that stuff, Ray,” Uncle Theo said, leaning toward Deanna and me from the seat behind us. “We need to look for an escape route. The best way to run when we make our getaway.”

  The huge front lawn sloped uphill. It was covered with tall evergreen shrubs and wide-trunked old trees in full summer blossom.

  I pointed out the window at the far side of the lawn. “The best thing would be to cut through that tall hedge,” I said. “The hedge would hide us. We’d instantly be out of sight.”

  “I like it,” Uncle Theo said. “Now all we have to do is get the little kids screaming and force The Frightener to come out of hiding.”

  “Well, we look scary enough,” Deanna said.

  I turned in my seat and glanced down the rows of seats at the other clowns. Everyone did their best to become scary. Some of the clowns kept extra makeup in their baggy costumes, and we all used it. Now we had huge teeth and vampire circles around our eyes, and red stains on our faces.

  Bingo-Bongo wore a black cape over a black costume. He had painted a black circle over his lips to make it look as if he had a gaping hole in his face.

  The clown next to him held a wrinkled green shrunken head in his lap. Behind them, a woman clown had painted her face to look like her skin was missing on half her head, and her skull was showing.

  And of course, Uncle Theo was terrifying in his Murder the Clown getup, with the blazing red face and the axe buried in his head.

  “Poor kids,” I said to Deanna. “They’re going to have the scariest day of their lives.”

  Deanna sighed. “Maybe it’s the scariest day of our lives.”

  “Bad attitude,” I said. “We can do this, Deanna. I know we can.”

  The bus squealed to a stop. The driver opened the door. “Okay, Bear Meat,” he shouted. “Everyone off the bus!”

  We climbed off the bus. I shielded my eyes from the bright sun. Not a cloud in the sky. A beautiful day to escape.

  “Hey!” I cried out when I heard a fierce growl.

  I turned and saw the bear. It was chained to a stake in the backyard. The Frightener must have brought it to show the kids.

  I shuddered, watching it snap its jaws and lick its black lips. It was at least eight feet tall. No way any of us could survive a fight with the huge creature.

  Still shivering, I followed as two prison guards led us clowns through a back hall to the living room. The first thing I saw were two enormous, sparkling chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling. Then I saw Freddy the nephew and his friends.

  They were cute little kids. I guessed they were five or six years old. Freddy had curly red hair and a face full of freckles. His friends were all dressed up in party clothes. They sat on the floor facing the fireplace.

  When we marched in, they were having a great time, tossing popcorn at one another. But they stopped when they saw the parade of clowns.

  I glimpsed an open doorway at the back of the room. I could see a long dining room table behind it. Was The Frightener back there, as he had threatened?

  Uncle Theo bumped knuckles with Deanna and me. “Let’s do this thing,” he whispered.

  We stepped in front of the kids. Murder the Clown spoke to them first, since he was the scariest.

  “What yummy kids!” he shouted. “I love kids. I love them baked and I love them roasted. I like kids extra-crispy. That’s my favorite.”

  He grabbed a little boy’s arm. “Don’t be afraid,” he told him. “I don’t bite.” Then he bit the kid’s hand. “Oh, wait. Oh yes I do bite! Hahahaha.”

  He grabbed a little girl’s hand. “Wow. You need to clip your nails,” he told her. “Here. I’ll do it for you.”

  He yanked the axe from the top of his head and held it over the girl’s hand. “Hold still. Sometimes I miss.” He swung the axe down hard — and missed her hand entirely.

  The girl let out a squeal and jerked her hand away.

  Murder swung the axe over her head. “Would you like me to trim your hair? I’ll be very careful.”

  He gave the axe a wild swing — and buried it in another clown’s belly. The clown opened his mouth in a howl of pain. And fake blood spurted from his stomach.

  That was the signal for all of us clowns to start fighting. We began punching each other, knocking each other to the floor, biting and screaming and kicking, falling and groaning.

  Murder swung the axe again and again. Shrieking clowns bounced off the wall and toppled over the furniture. Clowns wrestled on the floor, forcing the kids to back out of the way.

  The walls echoed with screams of pain, groans, and cries of attack. Bright red fake blood splashed everywhere.

  I stopped fighting and turned to study the kids.

  Was it working? Did our frightening battle have them terrified into silence?

  No way. They were laughing their heads off.

  They thought it was a riot. They were screaming — with laughter. Jumping up and down excitedly, punching each other, cheering us on.

  With a long, sad sigh, I turned to Uncle Theo. “They’re loving it,” I said. “They think it’s hilarious. Our plan hasn’t worked at all. We’re doomed.”

  And then The Frightener came striding into the living room. He wore a black suit with a gray shirt and gray tie. He had a shiny pink party hat tilted on his head. His slender face was an angry red.

  “What’s all the racket?” he boomed. His powerful voice made the chandeliers ratt
le. “Why are the children screaming?”

  “Let’s go!” Murder cried. He waved the other clowns into action.

  Before The Frightener had a chance to retreat, we surrounded him. We jammed up against him and forced him into a corner. We began laughing, cruel, evil laughter.

  A clown pulled out a scissors and clipped The Frightener’s gray necktie in two. Two clowns squirted water in his face. Murder the Clown stomped on The Frightener’s feet again and again and menaced him with the axe.

  Another clown made The Frightener’s nose honk. Bingo-Bongo grabbed The Frightener’s suit jacket from behind and ripped it in half. A clown tossed The Frightener’s party hat away and messed up his hair.

  We made him dance. We stomped on him and punched him and pinched his cheeks. Laughing … laughing the whole time.

  “Please — stop!” he cried. “Please!” Not in his booming voice, but in a whiny baby’s voice. “Please go away. I’m so scared!” he wailed.

  That made us laugh even harder. We all pressed close to him, laughing in his face.

  “Please go away!” he cried in his high baby voice. “Mommy! Mommy! Make them go away. The bad clowns are scaring me!”

  And then he broke free. He dove between us and took off. He ran toward the front, then whirled crazily around, his eyes spinning in his head. Crying for his mommy, he ran back to the dining room. We heard the kitchen door slam as he ran screaming from the house.

  We all froze. No one made a sound.

  And then a ferocious roar broke the silence. The sound sent a chill down my back.

  And someone shouted, “The bear is loose!”

  We ran through the dining room to the back of the house. From the kitchen window, I saw the enormous bear staggering forward, chasing The Frightener around the backyard.

  The bear lurched after his prey, head raised, paws outstretched. Screaming in terror, The Frightener darted headfirst through the hedge and disappeared.

  “Yesss! Yesss!”

  Clowns shouted and cheered and slapped high fives and did crazy dances. “We’re free! We’re free!” Bingo-Bongo shouted. The little kids watched, bewildered, as a wild celebration broke out.