by Mike Knudson
“Hello!” we screamed at the top of our lungs.
I loved this part of camp. Somehow all of the energy from the staff made me even more excited to be there. I looked over at Graham. He was jumping around and cheering. I could tell he loved this part too.
A tall guy with short hair that stuck straight up stepped forward. “Is everyone ready for some Grizzly Fun?”
We all cheered.
“Great!” he continued. “My name is Adam, but everyone calls me Fuzzy.” He rubbed his fuzzylooking hair. We all laughed.
“I’m your camp director, and I’m excited to be part of this year’s camp. And behind me is a bunch of the best Grizzly counselors on the planet.” One by one the counselors stepped forward and introduced themselves.
The first one hopped forward like a frog and announced, “Howdy, Grizzlies. I’m Jeff, but you can call me Toad.” He turned and hopped back in line. The other counselors followed, sharing their real names and their nicknames. They all had crazy nicknames like Flip, Gopher, and Twig. There was a big counselor who flexed his huge muscles. His nickname was Flex.
Graham leaned over to me. “I didn’t hear anyone called Freckles or Weenie,” he said.
“Let’s hear it for the best Grizzly counselors ever!” Fuzzy yelled. Again, more cheering. My hands were getting sore from clapping so much. Then he announced that each counselor would be assigned to three cabins, which together would make up a bear patrol. Your bear patrol would do things together all week.
I turned to Graham. “I hope we get Flex.”
“Yeah, me too,” Graham said. “That would be the first step toward being cool.” Unfortunately, when they announced our cabin, we got Toad.
“Well, at least he’s funny,” I said. He actually looked kind of like a toad, especially when he hopped around.
The staff acted out some funny skits about the different activities we would be doing the rest of the week. There would be swimming, a hike, crafts, and, best of all, the big camp Olympics on the last day. And of course there was also a marshmallow roast the next night with Camp Wildflower. Fuzzy asked if anyone had any questions.
Graham elbowed me in the side. “Now’s our chance, Raymond. Raise your hand and say something funny.”
“What should I say? Why don’t you say something?” I asked.
“Because I already did, remember?”
I looked at Graham. “You mean that pirate thing when we checked in?” I asked.
“Yeah, it was awesome. Now it’s your turn.” Graham raised his hand and said, “My friend Raymond has a question.”
“Great, what’s your question?” Fuzzy said. The room went silent. I tried to think of something funny.
“Hi, I was just wondering, what . . . um . . .”
“What were you wondering?” Fuzzy asked, trying to help me along.
“I was wondering what . . . smells in here. Yes, that’s it. I was wondering what smells in here.” Perfect, I thought. Smells are always funny.
Unfortunately, before anyone could appreciate my funniness, I heard David yell from across the room, “It’s you that smells!” Immediately there was a roar of laughter from the crowd.
“That didn’t go so well,” I complained to Graham. “I just made David look more popular.”
“You should have said one of those pirate things like I did,” Graham said.
Fuzzy led the group in one last camp cheer, and then the meeting was over.
We all followed our counselors back to our cabins.
“Hey, Toad, can we stop at the Trading Post?” Tiny asked.
“You mean you guys haven’t been to the Trading Post yet?” Toad looked completely amazed. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or if he was serious. “Well, let’s hop on over.” He turned and hopped down the path to the Trading Post. Some of our group hopped too. I thought we looked a little silly. This is definitely not helping us look cool, I thought.
It appeared that most of the camp had the same idea as us. The Trading Post was packed. Most of the kids were gathered around the candy, so we went to the opposite end.
I picked up a leather string with a bear claw hanging from it. “Hey, check this out.” Graham rushed over and snatched it from my hand.
“No way! A real bear claw! And it’s only four ninety-nine! Nothing says cool like a real bear claw!” Suddenly, a familiar voice and a familiar punch to my arm interrupted our conversation.
“Where’d you get that plastic claw? From a plastic bear?” David laughed his crazy laugh. Life had been much happier for me since school let out, without David’s nastiness and the daily slug to my arm.
“What do you mean, plastic?” Graham snapped back. “Looks pretty real to me.”
“Oh sure, I know a lot of bears that have little stickers on their claws that say CHINA on them.” I had learned to just ignore David, but Graham always had to have the last word.
“So you don’t think there are bears in China?” Graham said.
“Even if there are, how many have stickers on their claws?” David grabbed another claw from the shelf and held it up to Graham’s face. I had to agree with David, but Graham wasn’t going to give up that easily.
“Have you ever examined a Chinese bear’s claw up close?” Graham shot back. David just rolled his eyes and dropped the claw back on the shelf.
Just then Flex walked up. “Hey,” he told David, “don’t waste your time arguing with these guys over a stupid plastic claw.”
Graham smiled at David. “Yeah. Take a hike.”
Then I got my nerve up and added, “Yeah, take a hike up to Grizzly Peak.” That was the three-mile hike we would be doing this week. I thought it was a pretty clever comment, since we were at camp.
David made a fist and punched it into his other hand. “You’d better watch what you say.” Obviously, he didn’t appreciate my Grizzly Peak line. Just then Toad and our patrol came over.
“What’s the problem over here?” he asked.
“Are these your boys?” Flex asked Toad. Then he turned to David. “Come on, man. You don’t want to mess around with toads—you might get warts.” He laughed and headed toward the door. David and the others followed.
“You can’t get warts from a toad!” BB yelled after them. “Idiots,” he added under his breath. It seemed like BB couldn’t stand to hear anything wrong being said about bugs or toads.
Graham and I both looked at Toad, who seemed upset at Flex’s comment.
“I take it you and Flex don’t get along too well,” I said.
Toad forced a fake smile and said, “Flex is just fine. Everyone here is part of the Camp Grizzly family.” Then he called out for everyone to follow him back to our cabins.
“So are you still going to get the bear claw?” Graham asked me.
I thought for a minute. I wasn’t so sure that there were bears in China with stickers on their claws. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”
“Well, I’m going to buy one,” Graham said. “It will make me look tough at the marshmallow roast with the girls. Who cares what David thinks?” He paid for the claw, and we started walking back to the cabin.
“You know, just wearing this claw makes me feel stronger,” Graham said. He clenched his fists and flexed his arm muscle. “Oh yeah, much stronger,” he added in a strained voice.
The look on his face was pretty convincing. I felt his flexed arm. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling a muscle or not. It was kind of squishy.
“So you really think that makes you stronger?”
Graham pulled his arm away from my grasp. “Of course I do. Watch this.” Graham walked over to a big rock on the side of the trail. It was about the size of a beach ball. He squatted down, put both arms around it, and tried to lift. After a few groans and other weird noises, he let go.
“This one must be cemented into the ground,” he said. Then he searched for another smaller rock. This time he found one about the size of a bowling ball. Again, he bent over and gave it a heave, but it
didn’t budge either. Finally, he picked up a small rock the size of a baseball. “Yeah, check it out,” he said.
“Wow, very impressive,” I joked. We made our way back to the cabin.
All three of the cabins in our bear patrol stood around a large campfire pit. There were three long benches made from logs around the pit. I hoped we would be able to make a fire there. We took a seat on the benches.
I looked around at our bear patrol. Tiny and BB sat next to me and Graham. On another bench was a skinny kid named Carl who was picking his nose and a boy named Jackson who just stared at Carl picking his nose. A kid named Shawn and another named Kenny were sitting on the ground in front of the bench and playing in the dirt. There were four other kids on the last bench. They had their shirts pulled up and were trying to decide whose belly button stuck out the most. It didn’t seem like any of us belonged in the popular crowd. Becoming popular was going to be harder than I’d thought.
Toad stood up on one of the benches. “Okay, gang, the first order of business is coming up with a name for our patrol. You guys don’t want to be called ‘those guys from cabins four, five, and six.’ So what do you think?” He looked at us and waited. Since we didn’t know everyone in our troop yet, we were all a little nervous about saying anything. Finally Graham spoke up.
“How about the Bear Claws?” he said, holding up the claw hanging around his neck.
That kid Jackson raised his hand. “How about the Dinosaurs?”
Another guy yelled out, “Sharks?”
“How about the Arachnids?” BB shouted, jumping up. Everyone stopped and stared at him. “Or maybe not,” he added. He quickly sat back down.
Then this kid named Kyle yelled out, “Let’s be the Toads!” We all looked at him like he was crazy. He was kind of like a boy version of Lizzy, the biggest teacher’s pet in my school. Toad seemed to like it though.
“Let’s have a vote,” Toad said. We all raised our hands as he repeated the different names. “It looks like the top two names are the Toads and the Bear Claws. So raise your hand if you want Bear Claws.” There were six hands in the air. “Okay, how about the Toads?” Again six hands went up. “Hmm, a tie. Well, let’s see. How about we compromise and call ourselves the Toad Claws?” We all sat there and looked at each other.
“Is he serious?” I said to Graham. But before anyone could figure out if he was serious, we were officially called the Toad Claws.
“I didn’t even know toads had claws,” Tiny said.
“Well, technically they don’t,” BB explained. “Unless you consider—”
“Now we need to come up with a patrol cheer,” Toad interrupted.
“How about, ‘Toad Claws are the best, just like Toad!’” Kyle said.
“Talk about a teacher’s pet,” I whispered to Graham.
“More like a counselor’s pet.” Graham chuckled. “Who is that kid?”
“You mean Lizzy-Boy?” I said. We both burst out laughing.
Shawn, one of the kids who was playing in the dirt, got up and said, “Let’s hop around like toads and hold our fingers in the air like a claw, like this.” Then he jumped around holding his finger high in the air and bending it like a claw.
“Perfect!” Toad smiled. “Now just add a yell.”
“How about ‘Hooray Toad Claws!’” a kid called out.
Then Graham hopped up like a toad and yelled out, “Har! Toad Claws!” like a pirate.
“I like it,” Toad agreed.
I wondered what the deal was with Graham and this pirate stuff. I looked over at BB and Tiny to see if they thought this was crazy too. But Tiny was already hopping around like a massive toad. I would have expected that, since he always seemed so happy. But even BB, who seemed a little more serious, was holding up his claw and cheering, “Har! Toad Claws,” like Graham. I thought it was the craziest patrol name and cheer I had ever heard, but I joined in anyway.
“Har! Toad Claws!”
5
Smashed Toes and Cannonballs
AFTER A FEW minutes of jumping around like toad pirates, we were tired. We all straightened our claw fingers and took our seats back on the log benches.
“Okay, Toad Claws,” said Toad. “Let me tell you what we have on the schedule this afternoon and tonight. In thirty minutes, you all have to be down at the lake to take your swim tests.”
Kenny asked what a swim test was. Toad explained that we would each jump into the water out by the dock. Then we would have to swim the length of the dock and back three times. The first time you had to use a specific swim stroke, the forward crawl. The other two times you could use any stroke you liked.
“After the swim test you can get cleaned up for dinner. And each night after the day’s activities the Toad Claws will meet back here for Roses, Thorns, and Buds.”
“What’s that?” I whispered to Graham.
“I don’t know. We didn’t do that when we were Cubs. Maybe it’s some secret activity you can only do once you’re a Grizzly.”
All the Toad Claws ran into their cabins to get into their swimming trunks. I dug through my duffle bag but couldn’t find my trunks.
“Hey, where are we supposed to change?” Graham said. “I’m not changing in front of you guys, that’s for sure.”
BB looked around the room. “Yeah, me neither. I’m going to the bathroom to change.” The cabins didn’t have a bathroom, so all of the campers shared a big bathroom next to the lodge. That’s where the showers were too.
“Wait for me,” I said. “I just need to find my suit.”
Tiny had his entire bag dumped out in a pile on the floor. “Me too!”
Good idea, I thought. I dumped out my duffle bag as well and searched through the pile. Finally, Tiny and I both held up our trunks and exclaimed, “Found them!”
“It’s about time,” Graham said. “Let’s go.”
But instead of moving toward the door, Tiny stood and climbed to his top bunk. “I just need to grab my nose plug. I think I left it up here.”
“Oh, man,” Graham huffed. “We’re never going to get out of here.”
“Here it is. Let’s go!” Tiny said. Then, before I could move, Tiny came flying off of the top bunk and landed right on my foot.
“Yeow!” I screamed. I fell to the floor and grabbed my foot.
Tiny bent down and held his hand out to help me up.
“Sorry, Raymond,” he said. “Are you okay?”
I wanted to say, “Of course I’m not okay—you just landed on me,” but I knew it wasn’t his fault. He probably couldn’t see my foot from up there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I grabbed his hand and tried to stand up. The pain was awful. I hobbled around the room a bit, trying to “walk it off,” as my baseball coach always said when someone got hit by a ball. Once some kid accidentally let go of the bat after he swung, and it hit our friend Carlos in the leg. He fell down and started to cry. I thought he should have gone to the doctor, but Coach just told him to “walk it off.”
I tried to walk this off, but I could barely walk at all.
“Too bad you’re not a baby spider,” BB said, pushing his glasses higher onto his nose. “They grow new legs if one gets smashed or pulled off.” I looked at BB and thought that I was really happy I wasn’t a baby spider.
Tiny felt so bad that he even offered to give me a piggyback ride to the lake. It didn’t seem like a bad idea. But after a minute or two, he got really out of breath, so Graham and I slowly walked the rest of the way while the others went ahead.
By the time we got down to the dock, my foot was feeling better. Tiny had just finished his swim test, and the lifeguard signaled for BB to jump in.
“Whoa, look at him go. BB’s like a fish,” I said. That kid could really swim. He finished his laps in no time at all.
Graham handed me his glasses. It was his turn. He jumped in and screamed, “It’s freezing!” He swam much slower than BB, but finished just fine. After he got out, the lifeguard checked Graham’s na
me off on a pad of paper and then pointed his pen at me.
“All right, you’re up. Remember, the first lap is a forward crawl, and then you can swim the other two laps using any stroke.”
Graham gave me a pat on the shoulder. “Good luck. It’s a little chilly in there.” I wasn’t too nervous. I took swimming lessons when I was in first grade, and I was one of the best swimmers in my class.
“Cannonball!” I jumped in and splashed everyone. Graham was right, it was freezing. And each time I kicked, my foot would hurt. I stopped for a moment to rest my foot after my first lap.
“Are you okay in there?” the lifeguard asked. “Do you need to stop?”
“No, I’m all right.” I started again, but with every kick it hurt even more. I took one more quick break and then finished and pulled myself out. The lifeguard called me over. He told me that he couldn’t check me off because I stopped twice.
“What? I didn’t stop because I couldn’t make it. I stopped because my foot hurt. I’ll bet I could swim ten laps if my toes weren’t smashed. I’m probably the best swimmer in my patrol!”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s for your own safety. If your foot feels better you can try again tomorrow. Until then you can still play in the lake. You just have to stay in that area over there.” He pointed to a small little roped-off place by the shore.
“Oh man. This stinks,” I said.
Graham heard the whole thing. “At least you can still go into the water. Let’s go check it out.” We walked over to the roped-off area.
“Yeah, it’s not so bad,” I said. “Last one in is a rotten Toad Claw!” I ran over and jumped in. Unfortunately, instead of making a huge cannonball splash, I hit the bottom. Not only did my foot hurt now, but my bottom was bruised. I stood up, and the water was only a little higher than my knees. Graham had been running behind me, but after seeing me crash, he came to a screeching halt and waded through the water until he was at my side. The water reached a little higher on him, but not much.
“What’s this all about?” he said. “You can’t swim in here.”
“I know. Why would they even have this shallow place?” We tried to think of something fun we could do there. We tried jumping up and down, but that wasn’t fun at all. We tried sitting down, but that was like sitting in a big bathtub. Finally, we just got out and joined Toad and the rest of our group for the walk back to our cabin.