by Linda Conrad
Think, you idiot! Don’t let yourself lose control, he cautioned himself. He owed Annie the honor of abiding by her wishes. And she’d probably been right about taking things slow.
Now if only he could convince his body to cooperate.
Lowering himself into the soft cocoon of warm pool water, Nick tried going over the facts of pregnancy as he’d memorized them. “A woman’s body will become rounder as the months go by. Her breasts will become more sensitive…”
Hell. That wasn’t the direction he wanted his thoughts to go—not now.
“Nick. Is everything okay?”
He blinked his eyes and found that Annie had swum up beside him. He could swear the heat emanating from her body was boiling him alive even from a distance of two feet away.
“Yeah. Everything’s just terrific.” He glanced down at her form through the backlit water and took a breath.
Her red bathing suit was just about the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Not that it was one of those thong things, but the v-neckline exposed more of her rounded curves than he needed to see at the moment.
Annie’s body looked as though it had already become fuller. The need to retrace her every curve, her every line, with both his fingers and his tongue was making him crazy with desires he’d rather not have at the moment.
Still…he couldn’t keep a rein on his thoughts. Would her skin also have become more sensitive this soon? Annie had been hypersensitive to his touch before. And very expressive about it too, as he remembered. How would that have changed?
He felt another sudden rush of blood, beating a path to his straining arousal. Determined to respect Annie, he ducked his head and swam to the far side of the pool. Away from the temptation.
As he touched the wall and reached for the edge, something under the water tugged at his foot. Instantly, Annie surfaced beside him, laughing with delight as bubbles foamed between the two of them. The teasing bubbles tickled his skin, and made him think of how Annie’s touch had been.
Wrong. Stop that kind of thinking now, he warned himself once again. But the roar of desire was already too loud in his ears and his body refused to pay attention.
“You’re really swimming,” she exclaimed with a smile. “You totally rock!”
“Swimming is no big deal,” he grumbled. “It’s just a pool. Not the ocean.”
Annie lightly shook her head and touched his arm through the water. The electric jolt of her hand on his skin set off sparkling fireworks in his mind, blinding him to promises, honor, trust. Blinded him to everything—but pure basic need.
Without a second thought he dove to the bottom, rising up underneath Annie’s body in just the right position to capture her beside the pool wall. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes were dancing with obvious desire. She laughed again as he moved even closer.
Desperate to pull back from the abyss of temptation, he put his wide hand against her bare stomach and tried one last time to think of their child growing inside her. Anything to stop the madness that was quickly swallowing him whole. He tried, but the soft texture of her skin made his mind fill with all the wrong images.
“Nick, please,” she warned softly.
He managed one last weak smile. “Do you have a preference for a boy or a girl?”
Annie blinked and swallowed a little water. “What a crazy thing to ask right now. No, I don’t care. Either one will be just fine as long as it’s born healthy.”
Nothing she said was sinking in. Sliding his hand up between her breasts, he traced the edge of her suit with his fingers. “The experts all say you’ll become more sensitive as the days go on. Have you noticed?”
“Uh…”
With their bodies mere inches apart, she seemed to be having trouble staying afloat. He closed even that small gap between them, leaving her no space and no choice.
Slipping his knee between her legs, he let her ride his thigh and keep her head above water. He steadied them both by hanging unto the edge of the deck behind her with one hand.
But once they were stable, he made the fatal mistake of looking down at her body again. Her shimmering red suit was the last temptation and the last straw. He couldn’t help himself. Some animal demand, deep in his subconscious, drove his hand to touch what he coveted.
Slowly, he edged his fingers up one strap of her suit and tugged at the loosely tied knot behind her neck. Both red straps fell away and the whole front of the bathing suit floated down to her waist, exposing creamy breasts—all rounded and tilted upward toward him.
The skin there was whiter than he remembered. And the nipples were larger than before, pinched and so fully engorged they were purple. Amazing…and narcotic.
Not able to stand another minute just looking, Nick reached to touch a peaked tip. “When I do this, is it too tender to the touch?” He used the pad of his finger to circle the nipple, wondering at how quickly it stood up for him.
Annie made a soft sound in her throat and he glanced up to check her expression. Was she angry? Not exactly. Her eyes were closed, her nostrils flared and her breathing ragged.
She was every bit as turned on as he was, but she appeared to be fighting it desperately. As for him…he couldn’t bear it another minute without…
He held his breath and bent his head under the water to flick his tongue over the tortured nipple, tasting, testing. She dug her fingers through his hair and held his head in place, letting him know how good it felt.
Without breathing—or thinking—he found his fingers sliding up her thigh and testing the elastic at her crotch. He let his forefinger slip inside the suit to touch the tender edges of his ultimate destination.
Just a little test, he thought vaguely. He would back off in one more minute.
But it was warmer to his touch there…and wetter…and sweeter.
Lifting his head again to watch her expression, he saw Annie bite her lip as he slipped his index finger inside her body. Surprised, she slid a little lower in the water. He put his arm around her protectively, holding her close to his body while he managed another finger inside her depths.
Once two fingers were inside the tightness of her body, he flexed them both. Annie moaned against his neck, driving his madness beyond any control. He was crazy with the desire to watch her come for him. Mad to see her face fill with color and pleasure.
He ripped at the material of her suit that was keeping him from his goal. It gave way and he was suddenly free to flick a thumb over her most sensitive nub.
As he lightly rubbed and plucked, he tightened his grip around her waist to hold her steady. She stilled then, and widened her glazed eyes for one second to question his intentions. But a millisecond later, her eyes rolled and closed. He felt the beginning rumbles of climax as her internal muscles tightened around his fingers.
The garbled scream came involuntarily from deep inside her gut as she grabbed for his neck. The sensations had caught her off-guard. She seemed to be fighting to hold them off and stay afloat.
“Let it happen, sweetheart,” he groaned against her hair as he tightened his grip. “I’m here to keep you safe.”
“Oh, God, Nick,” Annie gulped.
She was shivering in his arms, and he reveled in the delicious pleasure of holding her close.
But before he could lean in for another kiss, she reared back and smacked him in the chest as hard as she could through the water.
“Dammit.” She pushed away and narrowed her eyes at him. “I thought you said you wouldn’t do that tonight. You promised to give us time.”
His head snapped up and he felt like she’d struck him with a lead pipe instead of lightly pushing him with her hands. Hell. What had he done?
“I’m…I’m…” he gasped as he backed away from her. What could he say? His behavior was beyond reprehensible.
So he said nothing. Just turned abruptly, swam to the other side of the pool and heaved himself out onto the deck.
“Nick, where are you going?”
“I’m s
orry, okay? I’m going to take a sauna.” He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t stop to think or apologize again.
Making a dash for the redwood sauna, he closed himself off from his inappropriate actions, then swung open the door to the familiar and heated mists of guilt and regret.
Annie was left, shivering and feeling more than miserable in the lonely pool. Thank heaven Nick had moved away when she’d first asked. Another minute or two and she would have caved, begging him to stay, to be with her and come inside her.
She grasped the pool steps with shaky hands and pulled herself heavily out of the water. It simply amazed her that with as much control as Nick usually had over his emotions, he could be so outrageously passionate and so intense when the two of them came together.
It was the intensity that scared the hell out of her. She was deathly afraid she could easily lose herself to it and to him. And she simply refused to do that—to fall totally out of control with a man who didn’t love her—would never love her.
But Annie had a feeling that all the passion was a new experience for Nick, too. His gaze had been too bruised tonight when he’d realized what he’d done.
Was this much intensity just part of a normal sex life? If so, it made her wonder why Nick seemed so stunned by it.
Holding her tattered suit close to her body, Annie made a dash for the bathroom shower. As balmy as the air here was, she felt cold.
She stepped into the hot shower stream and immediately the memories of Nick touching her under the water flashed in her mind. Her body responded but she fought it.
The crazy fight between sensual and practical images in her mind made her remember the reality of her situation. She was actually a married woman, expecting Nick’s child. Sooner or later she would probably have to face making love to him again.
Sooner sounded much better to her at the moment. But she had to find a way not to lose herself to him when it happened.
Annie planted her feet and set her jaw. She was strong. Strong enough to take on anything if she put her mind to it.
Perhaps she’d gone about this the wrong way. Maybe if they had more sex, not less, the intensity would naturally wear off and then it wouldn’t terrify her so much.
Great idea. Now, how could she tell Nick that she’d changed her mind?
She stepped from the shower and wrapped herself in a huge, super luxurious towel. Suddenly, she was so tired she couldn’t think straight. It had been such a long day.
In two seconds flat she’d made her way to the king-size bed and slipped between the sheets. She needed some sleep. As she laid her head on the pillow, Annie briefly wondered how Nick was doing in the sauna.
The last thing in her thoughts before she closed her eyes and fell sound asleep was the hope that maybe tonight she would dream up a way to let him know she’d changed her mind. Later when she awoke, everything would be okay.
The very next thing Annie knew was when the thin gray light of predawn crept into the room and plucked at her eyelids. She blinked open her eyes, shifted her stiff body and rolled on her back.
It took a minute to orient herself to the room, to the place, to the bed. The bed. She was clearly not alone in this huge bed.
Turning over, she saw Nick, laying on his side and facing her. He was asleep, his breathing slow and deep.
When she cleared her eyes and focused on him, she nearly groaned aloud. The man was so handsome it hurt to look at him, even fast asleep with his chin stubbled in a morning beard and his fabulous gold and silver hair tumbling lightly over the pillow.
But as she studied him a little closer, she noticed that his forehead was creased in a frown and he held his shoulders high and tight in a fighter’s stance. She reached out to touch his cheek. He shouldn’t have to look so tense in his sleep. Had she done that to him?
Or was he still fighting his memories of a dead wife, even in his dreams?
Her heart lurched. She’d been selfish to hold him off last night. What had he done so wrong, anyway? He’d given her passion and tenderness and asked nothing for himself.
And hadn’t she told herself that she would be the one to heal this lonely man? Fine way for her to make a lost soul pay for being noble. Boy, did she ever know how to show a man she loved him. Not.
Well, today was a new beginning. The first full day of their married lives.
Tentatively, she let her fingers glide down from his face to touch his wide, strong shoulders. There must be some way for her to release the tension in them.
Trailing her hand down his arm then across his chest, she gave herself permission to follow the ridges and muscles to the smattering of hair in the center of his chest. Warm. The hair was a soft mat of fur covering warm skin and a steadily beating heart.
Nick stirred slightly, threw off his light covering and rolled on his back. But he didn’t awaken. Annie inched closer, longing to feel a tiny bit of the warmth of his body seeping into her own.
But now that he was uncovered, the temptation to run her palm down the flat of his belly, following the lines of hair to points beyond the waistband of his undershorts proved overwhelming. She felt a little wicked touching him as he slept, but she was fascinated and delighted.
His muscles jumped under her hand. And when she eased her fingers below his waistband, she noticed his shaft stirring, lifting, coming to life and growing solid.
Her fingers began to itch, craving the feel of him. Another inch and…
Nick’s hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand away from its destination. “Don’t,” he growled. “Teasing is unbecoming in a married woman. Don’t push me too far.”
“I wasn’t…I…I’ve changed my mind, Nick. I think we should…now. I mean, we’re married and…”
“Annie,” he whispered. “I thought a lot about what you said last night, and you were right. We need more time. I want us to be friends first. I want us to know everything about each other before we lose ourselves to the sexual side of each other again. It’s the right way to begin a life together.”
“But…”
“Was I crowding you in this bed?” he interrupted. “When we get back to the island, I’ll set myself up in the guest room next to the master bedroom if you need the bed to yourself. Until…we’re ready.”
“No. That’s okay,” she murmured quickly. The disappointment raged in her body, while her head told her that this was all for the best. “You weren’t crowding me. I think I can manage to be adult enough to stay on my own side of an oversized king bed.”
He brightened and sat up. “Are you hungry?”
She lowered her chin, not able to look into his brilliant blue eyes, afraid that he would see her disappointment and need. “I guess so.”
His fingers touched her cheek, slid under her chin and lifted it. “Annie, you must know I want you. That hasn’t changed. Let’s just give each other a break. We’ll know when the time is right. We have our whole lives.”
“Okay, Nick. If you think so.”
She’d agreed because his argument sounded a lot more rational than she was feeling at the moment. But deep down a tiny bud of anger blossomed in her gut. Once more he had controlled what they did and had made the decision without her. Which hurt, even if she had been the first one to make the stupid suggestion.
“Come on,” he chided her. “Let’s eat and then I’ll call the pilot and we’ll go home. A honeymoon bungalow is no place for two people who are just trying to get to know each other. We’ll be better off returning to work and getting on with out lives.”
The thought of going back to see the dolphins made her happy. She had a place there and friends and was in charge.
“Yes, let’s do that.” She turned over and began to crawl out of the bed.
“Oh, and Annie…” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Yes?”
“Three. And it’s heavy construction and real estate finance.”
“What?” She shook her head and turned to see him grinning
at her.
“I’ve always wanted three kids,” he said with a chuckle. “Two girls and a boy. And for six generations my family has specialized in financing and building roads, bridges and dams all over the world.”
She couldn’t help giggling at his strained attempt to make friends. The damn man was just too adorable to stay mad.
“Well, it’s not everything,” he said, suddenly sober. “But it’s a start. Maybe this will turn out to be easier than we think.”
And quicker, Annie prayed. Please God make them be “friends” in a hurry.
Eleven
The next two weeks became the slowest fourteen days of her entire life. Annie was beginning to question every decision she’d ever made.
It wouldn’t be so frustrating if she and Nick were actually becoming friends. Or, if she could figure out a way to get him to cross the invisible line he’d drawn down the middle of their bed.
But no… From the minute they had returned to the island, Nick went right back to working sixteen-hour days on his rebuilding-after-the-hurricane campaign.
He’d managed to finish the construction on the guest quarters in a week. Her old suite of rooms was already redecorated. But stood empty. The same as her bed.
Currently, Nick was striving to build new housing to replace some of the islanders’ shacks, lost to the hurricane. He managed to leave the house before she awoke every morning and didn’t return until Annie was fast asleep at night. They barely spoke to each other.
Sighing, Annie sat on the cliff steps and emptied the sand from her deck shoes. She admired him for being so industrious and responsible. But she would give anything to get another glimpse of the private Nick. The one who could be so intense it was scary.
She felt like she was drying up from loneliness. Thirsty for a smile, a laugh, a touch and a kiss.
In some ways, though, her life was better than ever. She should be thankful that the morning sickness seemed to have released its hold on her. And she was exceedingly grateful her health was good, at least.
She’d always imagined that she would have no trouble being pregnant. She came from good Irish stock whose women popped out babies and went back to work in the potato fields the very next day. Her mother delivered seven kids with ease, and two of her sisters had so far had four children between them without hardly batting an eyelash.