by Linda Conrad
Annie took her vitamins and ate right, if way too much, and exercised regularly. She felt wonderful.
And she was miserable.
She hadn’t yet told her family that she was expecting. Though two days ago, she’d finally screwed up enough nerve to tell her mother that she and Nick were married.
Maeve Riley’s long stunned silence after the announcement had said everything. But Annie still had to listen for another hour while her mother cried and stormed and tried everything in her repertoire to make Annie feel guilty for not inviting the family and for not having the ceremony in a church.
Annie did feel guilty, sort of. And she would try to work up an apology someday in the future when she wasn’t so darned desperate to get her husband back onto her side of the bed. Really she would.
“Hello, Annie,” Elizabeth’s voice said from behind her. “Are you all done for the day at such an early hour? You’re not feeling sick are you?”
Annie turned to her mother-in-law and grinned. “The research team has everything quite well in hand. There’s not much for me to do anymore except keep the books.”
“That’s good,” Elizabeth said with a smile. “Would you like to go shopping with me, then? We could hop over to St. Thomas for the afternoon, if you’d like.”
Shoving her shoes back on, Annie stood. “No thanks.” She took her mother-in-law’s arm and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “Can you keep a secret?”
“From Nick? Perhaps. It would depend on the nature of the secret.”
“It’s nothing bad. I’m not in any trouble or anything.” She made up her mind to let Elizabeth in on the secret pleasure she had discovered recently. She’d been dying to tell someone.
“I’m…” There was nothing to do but come out with it. “Well, I’ve been taking sailing lessons.”
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “I take it my son is unaware of these lessons.”
“I haven’t told him,” Annie mumbled as she felt the shame flame her face. “I knew he wouldn’t like the idea.
“But I’m finding I love everything about sailing,” she rushed on. “The thrill of turning into the wind and feeling it catch the sails. The speed as you cut through the water. It’s all wonderful.”
Elizabeth smiled but sadness filled her eyes. “You sound just like Nicholas did when he was ten and first discovered his own love of sailing.”
Annie was petrified that Elizabeth would tell Nick her secret. It would be a major setback to making her husband a friend. And to finally having him want her again.
“Don’t tell him just yet, please?” she begged. “Nick is so…uh…controlling. He’d never let me continue, and it gives me so much pleasure.” And at some point, when she was more of an expert, Annie wanted to convince Nick to come sailing with her. She knew she could help him through it.
Her mother-in-law reached out a hand and tenderly pushed a wind-blown strand of hair back from her face. “Come inside with me a moment. I’d like to tell you something.”
When they were seated in the pool house’s front room, Elizabeth took her hand across the tiny table. “I think I owe you an explanation about my son. About what drives him to be who he is.”
The older woman sounded so serious, for a moment Annie was afraid to hear what she had to say. But she sat still and waited.
“When I was about your age,” Elizabeth began. “I met a man who was dashing and exciting…but unfortunately had no family and absolutely no money or prospects. My family did not approve, but I was in love.
“I deliberately lied to my young man and let myself become pregnant with his child so my family would have to let us marry,” she continued.
Annie drew her hand away and began to shake her head.
“I know that’s not what you did, dear. I’m not accusing you of anything.” Elizabeth frowned. “In my own roundabout way, I’m trying to make you understand…about my husband…Nicholas’s father…and about their relationship.
“You see, my husband cared for me, but he always felt that my family hated him…thought he was beneath them. It wasn’t true, but there was nothing I could do to change his mind. He accepted a job from my father and set to work proving he was worthy of being in the family.”
Annie sat back in her chair and tried to listen with her heart instead of her mind.
“He worked such long hours that I never saw him. I think he was always a little perturbed that I had lied to him as well. Whatever it was that drove him, by the time Nicholas arrived, we were like strangers. My husband’s every waking minute had become devoted to the business.”
Annie didn’t like the sound of this story and found she was holding her breath.
Elizabeth sighed. “I’m ashamed to say, Nicholas never knew love at home. Oh, I told him I loved him, surely. But he never saw how love should be between a man a woman. His mother and father were merely civil to one another.
“My dashing lover had become a controlling, unemotional stranger to his family,” Elizabeth said sadly. “As Nicholas grew, he tried to find a way to get under his father’s shell, but he never could break through.” Elizabeth’s eyes welled up. “We both tried.”
“Why did you stay with a man like that?”
“I loved him,” she answered simply. “What’s more, I always felt he needed me somehow. And…I suppose I have never forgiven myself for the trickery. I’d thought I’d done it out of love, but I was really being selfish. It wasn’t his fault our lives turned out the way they did.”
Annie dashed the tears off her cheeks. “I’m glad you told me. I understand Nick a little better now.”
“No, dear heart. That wasn’t my main point.” Elizabeth took her hand again. “I meant this story to be a warning…a lesson in what not to do. Nothing good can come from lies. And the worst thing you can do in your marriage is to allow Nicholas to become a controlling stranger. That will be his first impulse, it’s what he’s always known.”
She leaned over and placed a soft kiss against Annie’s forehead. “My son is warm and generous and full of love he doesn’t yet know how to show. If you allow him to keep it bottled inside, the two of you will never find happiness together.
“Don’t make my mistakes, Annie,” she whispered. “Shake some good sense into your dashing lover. Before it’s too late for you both.”
Nick raised his face to the sun and laughed, really laughed for the first time in years. What a glorious day.
Racing his Jeep along the north shore road in the bright golden haze of late afternoon sun, he headed toward the marina. Not entirely positive why Annie had called and asked him to meet her at that place, he was absolutely sure of her motives. He knew she had something to tell him.
And he couldn’t wait to see her face when he told her about his new surprise in return. They were about to have the breakthrough in their relationship that he’d been praying for. Finally.
His darling Annie had actually called her family and told them about their marriage. He knew because her mother had called him yesterday and asked to come for a visit. The plane he’d sent to bring her family would be arriving within the next half hour.
Annie. She must have decided that she was actually happy to be married to him and intended to stay married. He’d begun to wonder if that would ever happen. The fear that she would leave him had kept him frozen and away from her. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.
A glint of sunlight bounced off the deep blue of the ocean and suddenly sent him spiraling back in time to another day when he’d been traveling this road to meet his wife at the marina. The worst day of his life.
The memories came fast and strong, blinding him to his current situation and putting him right back there.
Nick had been trying for days to hide his anger at Christina. He could feel the bile forming in his throat even now. But on this sunny day things would be different.
He would demand that Christina learn to sail, it was the one thing that still gave him pleasure and he was
positive it would be the one thing they could do together that would repair the marriage. And they must repair the marriage. She simply could not leave him.
His father would never approve of a divorce, would never forgive him if Christina left. Their marriage had been the one thing that he’d done to win his father’s favor. To have even a small sense that his father really cared.
As Nick drove around the last bend in the road, the marina and boats came into full view. The sight of them brought him back to the present with a thud.
This was the last place he would’ve come voluntarily. He hated seeing the boats. It gave him a niggling sense of foreboding to think of meeting Annie here. But he tried to push aside his old misgivings and forget the pain.
Today was the day he and Annie would finally come together as man and wife. There was no time for old ghosts.
He caught his first sight of her, and his breath stuck in his throat. Annie was standing on the deck of a sloop, and she was turning the boom and dropping the sail.
No! He pulled into the parking space, jammed the transmission into Park and made a dash to the dock.
“Annie,” he yelled, as he ran up next to the boat. “Get off of there. What the hell do you think you’re doing? Come away, now!”
She turned, blinked a couple of times and finally climbed out of the boat. Walking up the dock toward him, she smiled but the look in her eyes was wary and vulnerable.
“Hello, Nick,” she said calmly. “Thank you for coming.”
He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her down the dock, farther away from the boats. “Why are you here? You know how I feel about boats and sailing.”
Annie tugged her arm free of his grip and stopped walking. “I’ve been taking sailing lessons. I didn’t want to hide it from you anymore.”
When he began to protest, she interrupted him, “I love sailing, Nick. It makes me feel so free, like a bird, skimming over the water. I know now why you loved it, and I was hoping…”
She took a breath and straightened her shoulders. “Despite your old fears and guilt, I thought maybe you would consider going back to it so we could sail together. I’ll be with you, to help you find your way back.”
He couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe. Just stared at her. He remained mute and shook his head in shock.
“Your mother tells me you were once the best sailor in the Caribbean. Teach me to be the best, too.”
The panic doubled him over and he put his arm across his waist to keep from collapsing. “My God, Annie. How could you ask such a thing of me? I thought we were getting to know each other, but this shows me you know nothing about me at all.”
“Nick… Please…” She reached out and put a tender, warm hand on his arm.
The fierce longing for her that stayed constantly buried right under his skin drove him over an edge. He dragged her closer and took her lips with a force that might’ve surprised him any other time. After all these weeks of denying themselves, they responded to each other with shivering, sobbing passion.
He didn’t care where they were. Didn’t care who might be watching. He only cared that Annie clung to him, pressed her breasts against his chest and swivelled her hips against his groin, begging him silently for what they both needed so desperately.
“Nick!” A bellowing voice came from over his shoulder. “It’s great to see you down here again.”
Annie froze, and Nick raised his head in a daze. “Hello, Bellamy,” he managed. He had to get them both away from here to be alone. “If you’ll excuse us, my wife and I need to talk. I’ll catch up with you another time.”
Dragging Annie by the hand, Nick put them both in his Jeep and took off. He didn’t stop driving until the marina was far behind them. Then he pulled off the road and idled the engine.
When he turned to Annie, her expression was unfocused and dazed. It made his heart flip over with a thump, his stomach sour, and his own eyes blur with a sheen of tears.
“Annie, please listen to me,” he said roughly. “I’m not ready for this yet. And…and it makes me sick to think of you going out on the sea right now. Don’t…don’t…”
She took his hand. “Right now? Is it because of the baby? Please don’t be afraid for us. I’m healthy and strong. Everything will be fine.”
That wasn’t what he’d meant, but come to think of it, she was going to be a mother and had no business out on the ocean. “Aren’t you even a little afraid?”
“Well, sure. Most mothers are scared their first time. You wouldn’t believe the stories you hear. But that’s normal.” She gazed up into his eyes and the look she gave him was soft and tender. “Okay, okay. I won’t sail again until after the baby is born. But then will you please reconsider going with me?”
Pleased that she’d given in, even though it was not in the way he would’ve preferred, Nick lifted her hand and placed a kiss in her palm. What was one little fib, if it meant they would be together again?
“I promise to think about it again…after the baby is born,” he murmured then lifted his head. “Now, let’s go back to the main house to change for dinner. I have a fantastic surprise for you later.”
Annie laughed and threw her head back. “I hope you mean much later…in our bed.”
“Yes,” he began with his own grin covering his face. That would be good too. “This will be a night to remember.”
Annie fussed with the button on her new fushia shirt. Not even three months pregnant yet and nothing fit her right. Elizabeth had brought her several new outfits with elastic waistbands and blouses that didn’t need to be tucked in. But the shirt she’d wanted to wear tonight was already too tight around the bustline.
She quickly changed into the pretty poppy colored outfit that had no buttons and checked herself in the mirror. It was a great color on her, and she sure hoped Nick would like it. This afternoon, in his arms he hadn’t seemed to take any notice of her burgeoning figure at all.
It felt so good for them to be talking again. She was glad she’d gotten the nerve to tell him about her sailing, even though she hadn’t been able to change his mind. It was better if things were out in the open.
Just maybe their marriage had a chance of making it, after all. She loved him enough for both of them. And if tonight they were going to become lovers again, everything was bound to be okay.
Her mind was filled with music and flowers as she danced down the hallway toward the kitchen. Succulent smells wafted toward her and she began to hum. All was right with the world.
Turning the last corner, Annie was secure knowing what to expect. But just then two strange figures appeared, following Nick down the hall from the guest suite. Had he invited company?
Two more steps and the strangers took form in the kitchen’s light. Familiar forms. Beloved faces looked up at her and smiled. Annie froze and clutched at her chest.
“Ma! Da! I can’t believe you’re here!” She closed the gap between them and let her parents wrap her in loving embraces.
“Surprised, dervla?” Her mother hugged her tight. “Nicholas sent his plane for us. I would’ve thought…”
It took Annie a full minute to realize her mother had backed up a step and was staring down at her belly and then up to her bustline. The panic hit hard, with a swift kick to the butt. Too late to run now.
“A baby, Annie?” Her mother’s expression was pained.
“Yes, Ma,” Annie gulped as she lifted her chin to take her medicine. “Another grandchild is on the way.”
Her mother grinned. “Well, no wonder you got married so fast.” Maeve rolled her eyes toward the heavens with an exaggerated sigh. “Thank the good Lord.”
Twelve
A half hour later, after introductions and tons of tears, the newly combined family members were called to the dining room. Annie hadn’t said much so far. She was too nervous about what her mother would have to say when they had a moment alone. Annie knew she was in for a lecture.
But all through dinner Nick was the mos
t gracious host. He smiled at her from across the table and even winked once when no one else was looking. His mother, Elizabeth, had been a calming influence as usual.
The food was wonderful. But though it was one of the chef’s best efforts, Annie couldn’t eat more than a bite.
Elizabeth suggested they take coffee and dessert out on the patio, as the balmy night was a perfect temperature and the sky was a star-filled spectacular. She spoke to the chef and led the way. Following along behind Elizabeth, Nick and Annie’s father were still caught up in a discussion of the island’s police force.
Annie’s mother rose, moved to her side and slipped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders, whispering in her ear, “You really found your Prince Charming, dervla. He’s so handsome, just like in your storybooks when you were a girl. And so pleasant. He will make you a good husband.”
Stunned, Annie couldn’t speak. Where was the lecture about marrying out of the church? Where were the hurt feelings about not being at her youngest daughter’s wedding?
“I’m proud of you Annie,” her mother continued. “It’s plain to see you have at last become an adult. For so long I’ve fretted that my baby would forever be letting the family bully her. But you went out into the world and made a life by yourself, and now you’re doing all the right things with a man you obviously adore.”
Annie’s mother hugged her close and kissed her cheek. “I only wish you could’ve done your living closer to home,” she stopped and sighed. “But I see that you had to do things in your own way and in your own time.”
“Oh, Ma,” Annie said with a hitch in her voice. “I love you so much.” Something clicked in her head then and she knew her mother was right. She would never again let anyone control her choices. Annie Riley Scoville was an adult, a wife and about to be a mother.
As they walked arm in arm out to join the others, Annie’s heart swelled with love for Nick. She couldn’t wait to show him how much she loved him by getting her hands on him. In fact, she didn’t want to wait another minute. In new adult mode, she was ready to make her own choices.