Flashback: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World)

by Rhian Cahill

  Something she hadn’t discovered until the disastrous end of their engagement.

  Why on earth had she agreed to marry a man who obviously hadn’t liked anything about her?

  Had it been a gradual eroding of her self-esteem or had he always picked at her with his snide little comments and digs?

  Shaking her head, Mazey made her way to the bathroom.

  She knew why she’d accepted Stuart’s ring. A pregnancy scare had shaken her to the core, and while she’d been relieved to not be pregnant at the time, she’d also been disappointed.

  The incident had prompted a discussion about their future, and he’d agreed with her about where they were heading, what they wanted—marriage, children, forever. So, when he’d produced the small diamond solitaire, she had been thrilled to be taking that next step in her life.

  And yet she hadn’t been able to bring herself to suggest a date for the wedding.

  Or even suggest one of them move so they resided in the same city.

  Ninety percent of their lives had been spent apart, living in different states, and she hadn’t seen a thing wrong with that.

  She’d either had a sixth sense or she was the dumbest, most undemanding, gullible woman on the planet.

  Who accepted so little from the man they had agreed to marry?

  Sighing, she stripped out of Rylan’s shirt and tossed it on her bed.

  Ry.

  Would she have settled for so little if it had been him instead of Stuart she had been engaged to?

  Would she have been happy spending so much time apart?

  “Enough!” Shaking her head, she made her way into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

  Stuart was her past. And Rylan was definitely not her future.

  He was a work colleague, a guy she was friends with. One who knew his way around her body and was happy to oblige her needs—and his—when they wanted sex with no strings, no complicated feelings involved. No expectations or promises.

  Expectations that wouldn’t be met.

  Promises that would be broken.

  There would be no disappointment for either of them this way. It was the perfect arrangement.

  Steam filled the small room quickly, and she envied Rylan. His house was everything she dreamed of right down to the huge tub in the en suite bathroom.

  Dipping her head beneath the spray, she reached for the shampoo. Stuart may have complained about her childish fly-away hair, but it certainly made for easy maintenance, even with it being past her shoulders in length, the fine strands took no time at all to wash and condition.

  After a quick scrub with her favorite vanilla-scented body wash, she rinsed off and got out only to realize she’d been so up in her own head she’d forgotten to grab a clean towel.

  “Shit.” She shook as much of the water from her body as she could and dashed into the hall to the small linen closet. Wrapped in a towel she cursed again when she saw the trail of water on the floor leading back to the bathroom. “Damn it.”

  Sighing, she pulled another towel from the shelf and dropped it at her feet, pushing it around to mop up as much of the moisture as she could. Satisfied she’d removed enough to prevent herself from slipping, she raced into her bedroom and glanced at the clock.

  “Shit, shit, shit.” It was six twenty. She needed to leave in ten minutes, and she hadn’t had anything to eat yet. At the thought of food, her stomach rolled, and she pressed a hand against it. No more pie or ice cream or cookies for at least a month.

  Grabbing panties and bra out of a drawer, she tossed them on the bed and yanked open her closet. Blessing Mercy-Life for making her life easy with a uniform, she pulled one from its hanger and dropped it on the bed with her underwear.

  Rushing to the kitchen, she dropped a piece of bread in the toaster then headed back to her room.

  The next few minutes were a rush of getting dressed, buttering her toast, and searching for her shoes. It was as she passed the fridge, and the calendar stuck to it with an oversized magnet that Mazey’s entire world stopped.

  “No.” Ripping the thing from under the magnet, she frantically flipped backward. “No no no no no!”

  It hadn’t entered her mind. Not once had she thought about the weeks between now and then. When had she last been to the doctor?

  “Oh god.” Her hand flew to her mouth. She was almost two months late for her birth control shot. “This cannot be happening,” she muttered against her palm.

  Racking her brain, Mazey tried to remember the last few days in LA. She didn’t recall going to her doctor’s office, and she certainly hadn’t gone when she arrived in Sunnyville. Hadn’t even looked for a new doctor here.

  Why the hell hadn’t talking about the pill with Alyssa reminded her?

  She drew in a slow breath and turned the calendar pages back to now, counting weeks and mentally penciling in the only time she’d had penetrative sex in the last three months.

  A guttural groan scraped the back of her throat.

  Her hand grabbed a boob. Was it tender? Bigger? She couldn’t tell.

  The only way to know for sure was to take a test.

  Did she have time to stop and pick one up before work?

  Should she try to find a doctor?

  Her first instinct was to call Alyssa and ask for a recommendation but that would require an explanation, and she wasn’t ready to tell anyone about her suspicions.

  Not before she told Rylan.

  She closed her eyes on a flashback to the one and only other time she’d been in this situation.

  Would Rylan freak out on her like Stuart had?

  Would he want her to get rid of it as Stuart had suggested all those years ago?

  Mazey knew she wouldn’t have done it back then, and she definitely couldn’t do it now.

  But how did she expect to have a child with a man who was her fuck buddy?

  It might be a crude term for what they were doing, but there was no denying that’s essentially what they were.

  And what about her job? Could she expect Mercy-Life to give her time off when the baby came? Would they let her fly when she grew bigger?

  Her hand covered her lower belly, pressed on the flat surface.

  There was no point asking all these questions until she knew for sure. And she was out of time to stop and pick up a test before her shift.

  She had no choice but to wait twenty-four hours now.

  26

  Something was wrong.

  Mazey had been quiet since she arrived this morning. She’d said she was just tired, but Rylan didn’t think that was it. Not with the pensive looks she kept shooting his way.

  Luckily, they hadn’t had any call outs yet.

  It was Jack’s night to cook dinner, which meant takeout. He should have thought to bring some of yesterday’s leftovers. Hell, he should have brought the whole lot in. It would save him from eating burgers and dogs for the rest of the week.

  “I’m ordering pizza in ten minutes, people. Any special requests tell me now,” Jack yelled from the kitchen.

  Beside him, Mazey turned white and jolted out of her seat, sprinting from the room.

  “What the fuck?” he mumbled at her retreating back. He glanced at Bex, who shrugged.

  “Maybe she wants to be sure he orders what she wants.”

  Rylan pondered his colleague’s assumption and decided she was probably right. Pushing to his feet, he asked, “Anything specific you want ordered?”

  “Nah, just make sure he orders something other than pepperoni.”

  “Will do.” He headed for the kitchen, but when he got there, Mazey wasn’t in sight. “Where’s Maz?”

  Jack looked over from where he leaned against the counter. “How would I know?”

  “Right. Sorry. I thought I saw her come this way.” He glanced behind him. The only other place she could have gone was the bathroom. “Make sure you get a few different toppings, yeah?”

  “Yeah, yeah, Bex wants veggies.” Jack exagg
erated a shudder. “Waste of a good pizza, but whatever.”

  Rylan left Jack to order and went in search of Mazey. When he pushed the bathroom door open, she was stepping from a cubicle, her face pale and dotted with sweat.

  “Hey. Are you okay?” he asked, rushing over.

  “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” She bent over a basin and splashed her face with cold water.

  “Are you sick?” Placing a hand on her back, he rubbed between her shoulder blades.

  “A little. It’ll pass.”

  “Did you eat something off?” He tried to remember what they’d had for lunch.

  “No. Um, listen.” She stood straight, her gaze finding his in the mirror above the sink. “Can we go for a walk outside?”

  “Sure. If you’re up to it.”

  “I’d like some fresh air.” Swallowing, she added, “And we need to talk.”

  “Okay.” He stuck his arm out, indicating she should go first, the dreaded we need to talk words echoing in his head. Had she changed her mind about continuing to have sex with him? Remaining friends?

  “Thanks.”

  They didn’t say a word as they made their way through the building and out onto the tarmac. The air was cool, cooler than it had been yesterday, and the sun was low, taking most of the warmth out of the day. He followed Mazey, let her lead him where she would. He smiled, remembering having thought about letting her lead weeks ago. And look where that had gotten them.

  In this strange place between colleagues and friends and lovers.

  Rounding the hanger, she headed for their chopper. Halfway there, she cleared her throat and said, “I think I’m pregnant.”

  It was a full five steps before what she said sank in, and he stopped walking. “Sorry. What?”

  She was nodding, her gaze focused on something in the distance. “I haven’t taken a test yet. I only worked it out this morning, after you left. I didn’t have time to stop and get one before coming to work.”

  His jaw worked. His mouth opening and closing. But he’d be fucked if he could get his vocal cords to function.

  “You don’t have to say anything. I’m not expecting anything—”

  “Fuck that shit! You should be expecting something.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” Shaking her head, she drew in a deep breath. “I don’t know how I feel or even if I am or what I want or what this means . . .‍”

  “Well, if you are, it means we’re having a baby.”

  Mazey eyed him. “We?”

  “You wouldn’t be telling me this if you didn’t think it was mine, and I know you’re not sleeping with anyone else.”

  “We’ve had penetrative sex once, Rylan.”

  “It only takes one sperm, Mazey.”

  She gave him a sad smile, and he couldn’t have stopped from pulling her into his arms if he had a gun pointed at his head. “Come here.” He ran his hands up and down her back, rested his chin on top of her head. “It’ll be fine. Whatever happens.”

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured into his chest, her arms slipping around his waist.

  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

  “I forgot to get my shot.”

  “And I forgot to use a condom.” He cradled the back of her head and held her close. “We both forgot. That cancels out any blame.”

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You don’t have to know now. First, we find out for sure then we take our time to decide what we’re going to do. But I have to be honest, Maz. I’m thirty-nine. I want this. I’ve wanted this for a while. Just didn’t see it happening any time soon.”

  “But we’re not . . .”

  “Again, I’m going to be honest and tell you the no-strings thing was a way to keep seeing you. You said you didn’t want to get involved, but I wanted to, and the whole have-sex-and-not-see-each-other idea seemed like a way to get under your skin and get you to agree to something more. Putting a baby in you isn’t the under your skin I was thinking of, but I’m not sorry I did.”

  “If you did. We still don’t know for sure.”

  He nodded, his gaze on the horizon. “All right. How about this? Tomorrow, after our shift ends, I’ll come to your place, and we can go and get what we need to find out together. We’ll think about nothing beyond that. We’ll leave it all until after you take a test and we know.”

  “I can’t believe you’re not freaking out right now.”

  Rylan didn’t want to tell her he’d been here before. Had another woman tell him she was pregnant with his baby. He’d married that one, and as much as he wanted to suggest doing that with Mazey, he didn’t think she’d be on board with the idea. She wouldn’t even date him, for fuck’s sake.

  She’d been skittish before now, and if he pushed in the wrong direction, she’d bolt in the other. He couldn’t let that happen. One step at a time.

  “Not much use in panicking. What’s done is done. We deal with it. Together.”

  “I can’t . . .”

  He squeezed her closer. “I’d never ask that. I’d never want that.” Even if he couldn’t see himself with her for the rest of his life, he’d want this. He’d want it with her. She was going to be a fantastic mother. He could only hope she let him stand beside her every step of the way.

  She blew out a breath. “Okay. We should go back inside.”

  They should. Except he didn’t want to let her go. His arms locked in protest at the thought. “We should.” He bent his head down and kissed the top of hers. “Try not to worry.”

  “Kind of hard when everything changes after tomorrow.”

  “You might think this is me just blowing air, but it’s going to be fine. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.”

  Pulling away from him, she took a step back and smiled. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Not exploding in anger.”

  He laughed. “I’d be a total asshole if I did that. It takes two to make a baby, Maz, and I clearly remember having my dick inside you without a condom on.”

  She glanced around. “Can we keep this between us for now? Until we know?”

  “Of course. But in case you’re wondering, I’ll stand up no matter what you decide. I want to be involved as much as you’ll let me.”

  “Okay.”

  “For now.” He gripped her elbow and steered her toward the admin building. “We should go see if dinner has arrived yet.”

  Her hand came up to cover her mouth, and the color leached from her face. “I don’t think I can eat pizza.”

  “Hmm . . . I’m sure we can find you something else to eat.”

  “I think I saw some crackers in one of the cupboards. They might sit better in my stomach than anything else I’ve tried today.”

  “Crackers, it is.” And the first thing he’d do when they got inside was research what pregnant women with morning sickness should eat.

  27

  Mazey pulled into her driveway and glanced into the rearview mirror to see Rylan’s truck pull in behind hers.

  Damn it. He hadn’t gone home first. She told him she was fine, and he could go home to change before they went out to pick up a pregnancy test. Obviously, that had fallen on deaf ears.

  She understood his concern, she was a little worried herself. She hadn’t managed to keep any food down since Sunday night. And pie and ice cream weren’t exactly nutritious for her or the baby. And she’d barely snacked on the meat and vegetable platter they’d put together, so that didn’t count as a nutritional meal for growing a baby either.

  If there was a baby.

  Pressing a hand on her stomach, she switched off the engine and stared at her house.

  She would need more room. If she was pregnant, her little house wouldn’t hold up to the number of things a baby would generate—would need. The tiny second bedroom barely held a desk and chair. She didn’t even have a bed in there because she knew it wouldn’t fit more than a twin and would probably require moving the desk
out to get it in there.

  She’d have to think about finding somewhere permanent now.

  Somewhere bigger. More suited for a family. Something like Rylan’s house.

  Her door flew open, making her flinch and twist away except she hadn’t released her seatbelt and couldn’t move far.

  “Hey. Are you all right?” Rylan crouched down, leaned in, his gaze studying her face. “You’re not going to be sick again, are you?”

  Oh man, she hoped not. She’d eaten nothing since the crackers had come back up last night. She hadn’t wanted to risk it and draw attention to herself. She probably could have lied and said she had the stomach flu, but then Cochran would have sent her home, and that was the last thing she’d wanted. If she were at work, she had plenty of things to distract her from the merry-go-round of thoughts in her head.

  Smiling at Rylan, she cupped his face and said, “Stop worrying. I’m fine. I was just thinking about the house. I’ll have to find something else. Something to buy earlier than I’d planned.”

  He unlatched her seatbelt and helped her from the truck. “Not yet. We’re not thinking about anything beyond taking a test, remember?”

  Hand in his, she let him lead her to her front door. He’d pulled her keys from the ignition and was opening her door before she thought to protest. “I don’t need you to do everything for me, Ry.”

  “I know.” He glanced back at her as he tugged her inside, a smile formed on his mouth and in his eyes. “But I like doing it.”

  Hard to argue with that. And right now, she really didn’t want to. It was nice to have someone supportive by her side while she found out if she was going to have a baby.

  Ry’s baby.

  She wanted that. The baby. She wanted to be a mother. To have a family.

  She looked at the man in front of her. Could they be a family? He said he wanted this, that he wanted to be involved, but was he only saying that to keep her calm?

  Stuart had often told her what she wanted to hear so she would stay calm and not argue with him. Of course, he never followed through with anything he’d promised or found a way to get out of doing it. Usually said it was her fault he couldn’t follow through on something.