Almost Never

by Amy Lamont

  She almost laughed when Professor Costa all but bounced in the front of the room as he warmed to his topic. Guess that answered her question.

  The man obviously got pretty worked up over genetics. She sat up straight as an idea started to tickle the at the back of her thoughts.

  “Let’s stop things there,” he said from his spot in front of the lecture hall. “We can pick this up on Friday.”

  Harper’s eyes flew to the clock over the door. Three on the dot. Her stomach churned.

  What the hell? Was every genetics class from here on out going to feel like this. She thought Monday was bad when she waited all class to approach Professor Costa. Today sucked just as badly.

  Maybe worse.

  She forced herself to stand and pack up her laptop and books. She was smarter this time around. She grabbed her hoodie from the back of her seat and pushed her arms in before sliding the strap of her messenger bag over her head.

  She’d be more than ready for a quick getaway.

  Instead of waiting until the room cleared, she joined the stream of students walking down the steps. Where most of them veered toward the door, she pushed through the flow to move closer to the front of the room. And Professor Costa.

  “Harper!”

  Hers was not the only head that turned when Declan called out.

  He wove his way through the crowd and for a fraction of a second she was transported back to the frat party freshman year. He’d walked through the crowd to get to her that night, too. And just like now, people parted so he could pass. It was almost like they all revolved around him.

  God knows they’d all followed him that night. None of them wanted a thing to do with her once he’d turned from her.

  She shook her head. What was she doing here? This guy already helped ruin her college experience. Was she going to give him a chance to ruin her career on top of that?

  Declan stopped with less than a foot of space between them. “What’s wrong?”

  His demanding voice snapped her head up. Her eyes met his. “I don’t know if this is such a hot idea.”

  His lips twisted into his signature smirk. “This is a brilliant idea. I pass Biology and we get you on Costa’s radar.”

  “Of course you think it’s brilliant. It’s your idea.” She shrugged her bag up higher on her shoulder. “But that’s not what I mean.”

  He leaned forward, invading her space, and shook his head. “Tell me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  She lifted her gaze to his, searching his eyes. She tried not to breath too deeply. It hadn’t taken her long to learn that inhaling his clean, outdoorsy scent sent her thoughts tumbling off their intended path in a matter of seconds.

  Harper leaned back, attempting to put some room between them. “I meant, I don’t think me going to Professor Costa with you holding my hand is the best way to get on his radar.”

  As if her words gave him permission, Declan reached out and snagged her hand. He twisted his arm so their clasped hands were between them, resting on his chest, and pulling her close to him.

  “You’ve got it wrong. You’re here to hold my hand,” he said.

  She stared, completely fixated, at their joined hands. Her nerve endings tingled and warmth moved out from the center of her chest.

  “Get a room.”

  The snide comment from one of the students filing out the door brought Harper’s sanity back. She yanked her hand from his grasp. Or at least tried to. Declan didn’t let her go.

  “Exactly who is supposed to be doing the hand holding here, Declan?” She tugged on his hand to make her point.

  “Ahem.”

  Harper glanced over her shoulder. Professor Costa stood there, arms folded, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips up.

  Shit. She twisted back towards Declan and dropped her head, praying for a meteor, a bolt of lightening…anything to remove her from this situation.

  Through all of this, Declan kept her hand firmly tucked into his, held close to his heart.

  She picked her head up to find him smirking down at her.

  She sighed. Time to face the music. She pulled at their joined hands one more time. He allowed her enough room to turn and face Professor Costa, but he didn’t let her go.

  She glanced at him, brows furrowed. What the heck was up with the handholding? She’d seen him talking to Professor Costa a few days ago. No way were his nerves playing havoc with him.

  “Mr. Cooper. Your appearance in my genetics class is getting to be a habit. To what do I owe this pleasure?” Professor Costa raised an eyebrow and fixed his gaze on Declan.

  “Happy you asked.” Declan gave his charming, join-in-this-great-big-joke-with-me grin and squeezed her hand. “I am reporting back to you with my big plan to pass your Bio class.”

  “You don’t say.” Professor Costa leaned back against the desk. “And does holding Miss Warden’s hand have anything to do with this revelation?”

  Harper didn’t know if she should be mortified to be called out for her unprofessional behavior or thrilled he remembered her name. No matter that the handholding was against her will.

  Well, mostly against her will. She’d be a big fat liar if she didn’t admit to liking the tingly warmth she got from having her hand clasped in his.

  God, I’m a dork.

  But on the bright side, Professor Costa knowing who she was without having to look her up in a grade book was a step in the right direction. Maybe.

  “She does. Actually, it was her idea.” Declan squeezed her hand. “I want to design an experiment that I’ll do over the next month or so that will show I have a working knowledge of the material from the test I missed. At the end, I’ll do a paper on it and submit it to you and a scientific journal.”

  Professor Costa pressed his lips together. He glanced down once more at their joined hands before his piercing gaze zeroed in on Harper.

  “Am I to understand, Miss Warden, that you’ve agreed to help Mr. Cooper out of the kindness of your heart?”

  Harper swallowed hard. “I don’t know if I’d say it was the goodness of my heart. But you made it clear the other day I need to do more to boost my credentials if I want to get into medical school.” She shrugged. “I thought helping out another student in coursework in my major couldn’t hurt.”

  Professor Costa’s dark eyes narrowed on her. “And you’re not receiving any other compensation for your help?”

  A sharp tingle straightened Harper’s spine and she dropped Declan’s hand. “Do you mean, like, is Declan paying me for tutoring him?”

  The professor glanced between them. “That’s a start. Are you getting paid to tutor him?”

  She furrowed her brows and shook her head. She wasn’t quite sure where he was going with these questions but something inside her must sense all was not as it seemed. Her fight or flight response kicked into gear, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. “Declan’s not paying me to tutor him.”

  “To tutor him.” Professor Costa stood straightened from the desk. “Is he paying you for anything?”

  “No. I’m not paying her for anything.” Declan took a step forward, placing his shoulder slightly in front of her.

  Harper shook her head. She was definitely missing something here. “What is it you’re asking me, Professor?”

  “I’m asking you if Mr. Cooper is paying you to do the work for him so that he can pass Biology.”

  Her nervous system made the decision in an instant. She had no desire to flee in the face of the professor’s accusations. If she had claws, they’d be unsheathed by now.

  She pushed her way past Declan, her shoulder brushing his. “Let me get this straight. A few days ago you didn’t have the slightest clue who I was, despite my being the best student in your class. Now, with nothing more to go on than the fact I was standing here holding hands with him, you’re accusing me of cheating? Despite this meeting being about Declan and his grade in your class, you’re turning the tables so I’m
the villain in this scenario?”

  Declan caught her hand in his once again, tugging her back a few steps. Thank goodness, as it was the only thing keeping her from jabbing her finger into Professor Costa’s chest to punctuate each word.

  Her skin felt too tight to contain her and all the anger building inside. And she didn’t give a shit if this was the man holding her future in his hands. She was sick and fucking tired of being judged and found lacking. She might as well have a big A pinned to her chest or the word slut tattooed on her forehead considering how often people assumed the worst just from looking at her.

  “Calm down, Harper.” Professor Costa held a hand up in a placating gesture. “Let’s not overreact here. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t question this,” his hand gesture between her and Declan, “situation.”

  “What situation would that be?”

  Harper shivered at Declan’s voice and finally cooled her anger long enough to look at him. His eyes were glacial, pinned to Professor Costa, and his mouth was a flat line. His hand flexed around hers, as if he was fighting to keep from throwing a punch.

  “I’ve never seen the two of you together before. Now suddenly when you need a good grade, Declan, you’re holding hands with someone not as…” Professor Costa shook his head. “Let’s just say the two of you together raises some suspicions.”

  Nausea threatened to choke Harper. Professor Costa didn’t have a problem with Declan Cooper, son of a famous rock star. Hell, he practically bent over backwards to accommodate Declan.

  No, his problem was with her. The nobody. The girl he didn’t know existed.

  She fought to keep her breath under control as it threatened to strangle her as it pushed its way out. Her chest burned.

  She wished for a place to hide, but a quick glance told her there was nowhere to go. She’d have to hide in plain sight. She could do that. She had plenty of practice.

  With sheer force of will she shoved down the hurt. She mashed it into a small box deep inside, locking the lid behind it.

  She straightened her spine and cleared her throat. “I don’t cheat.”

  “I never said you did.”

  A humorless laugh broke from Declan. “You didn’t have to say it.”

  “Declan,” Professor Costa said, “I didn’t think you would cheat.”

  “And you thought Harper would?” Declan’s jaw tightened and his words came out from between clenched teeth.

  “Look, I’m not accusing anyone of anything,” Professor Costa said. “It’s my job to ask these questions. I get that you’re not planning on having Miss Warden do all the work for you. Why don’t we do this? I’ll accept your plan to do an experiment. But I’ll need a written proposal in my hand by Friday. I want you to outline in detail the experiment you’ll be doing. Include your hypothesis, the scope of the experiment, a timeline, and the roll Miss Warden or any other assistants will be playing in getting the experiment done. When you turn in your final paper, I expect a section to include a detailed explanation of any work done by anyone else.”

  Harper bit down hard on her lower lip, her thoughts tumbling through her mind in a jumbled mess. Part of her was relieved he’d dropped the idea of her cheating. But she didn’t think she’d ever forget being called out as a cheater by someone who, up until now, she considered a mentor.

  And where did this little encounter leave her chances of getting into the mentorship program? Maybe Jamie was right and she should just give up on the idea and look for some scholarship programs and accept that she might not get her first choice in medical schools.

  Declan squeezed her hand, bringing her attention back to what was going on in front of her. He stared down at her, his eyes searching her face.

  “You okay with this?” he asked.

  She wrinkled her nose at him. “Of course. It’s what we wanted. I have no doubt you can pass Biology with this idea.”

  He stared at her another long second before nodding and turning to Professor Costa. “I’ll have the proposal to you by Friday.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.” Professor Costa closed the flap on his bag and turned to face Harper. “I apologize for the way that may have sounded, Miss Warden. I just wanted to make it clear before anyone,” his gaze strayed to Declan, “was tempted to take the easy way out that I expect Mr. Cooper to be responsible for his own work.”

  Harper nodded, but couldn’t think of anything to say in response. She watched the professor stroll out of the room. Had they overreacted? If he was worried about Declan doing his own work, why did it feel like the attack was against her?

  Harper blew out a long breath and slumped against the desk. “Why does every encounter I have with that man make me feel like I’ve gone ten rounds?”

  “I think he just likes to keep us on our toes.” Declan perched next to her on the desk, resting their still joined hands on his thigh.

  His very warm, hard thigh.

  “And the good news is,” Declan said, his smirky grin emerging, “Professor Costa definitely knows who you are now.”

  Harper’s head fell forward and a startled laugh escaped her. While Declan had a point, this wasn’t exactly how she’d hoped to get on Professor Costa’s radar. Was it better to be invisible or to be thought of as a cheat? Or worse, Declan’s flavor of the week?

  She cringed inside at the thought of being one in Declan’s long line of women. But she couldn’t deny, sitting here with him, the heat of his body sending a combination of tingles and shivers through her, she hadn’t fought too hard to get her hand from his.

  Professor Costa probably thought she was the gold-digging slut everyone accused her of being.

  “Great. That’s just great.”

  Harper scraped the bottom of her pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food with her spoon. When she came up empty, she dropped the container, spoon and all, onto the beat up coffee table and threw herself into the overstuffed couch cushion behind her with a disgusted sigh.

  “A whole pint of ice cream and I still don’t feel any better.”

  “Umm, preaching to the choir here.” Jamie shifted in the chair across from the couch, throwing a leg over the side. “I didn’t think this whole thing was a good idea from the get go.”

  Harper groaned and threw an arm over her eyes. “I know, I know. I get it. You told me so. I should have listened. But it’s not like I can back out now.”

  She’d shared the whole story with Jamie, leaving out only the parts where she’d had warm, tingly feelings for Declan. She could only imagine what Jamie would say about that.

  “I still can’t believe you told Professor Costa off.” Jamie giggled. “I would have paid money to see that.”

  “Thanks for the reminder, James. Kick me while I’m down why don’t you?”

  “Aww, sweetie, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re thinking. Look at it this way. At least he knows who you are now. And he probably won’t forget you any time soon.”

  “That’s what Declan said. But seriously, not exactly what I was going for.”

  Jamie laughed. “I know. But it sounds like you convinced him you wouldn’t think of cheating. I don’t know. I don’t think showing him you have some backbone and are willing to stand up for yourself is a bad thing. I think that’s probably closer to what he’s looking for than you hiding in the back of the room.”

  Harper dropped her arm from her face and pinned her gaze on Jamie. “You think?”

  Jamie shrugged. “I don’t know for sure, but from what he said the first time you talked to him, I think you’re getting warmer.”

  Harper bit her lip while she thought about what Jamie was saying. She’d replayed Professor Costa’s words over and over in her mind, trying to figure out exactly what she could do to impress him. Nowhere in there did it occur to her he would be impressed by her tearing him a new one.

  Then again, Jamie had a point. He wants people in his program that can make a difference. Maybe he’d see her willingness to advocate for herself so hard
as a good sign?

  She sighed. Who knows? Why couldn’t he have given her a checklist of things to do to impress him instead of making her feel like she had to play guessing games and jump through hoops? She was good with a nice, organized to-do list. The way she was going at things now was chaotic and she and chaos never got along.

  Jamie jumped up from her seat. "I just realized how late it is. I told Tanya I'd meet her and a couple other girls at Sharky's. I better jump in the shower."

  "Okay." Harper bit her lip. So much for a girls' night in.

  Jamie paused at the doorway. "You know, you're welcome to join us."

  Harper rolled her eyes. "No, thanks. Today's meeting with Professor Costa was depressing enough. No need to add insult to injury."

  Jamie stepped back into the room and lowered herself to the arm of the couch closest to Harper. "I would never invite you along if I thought Tanya or her friends were going to insult you, Harper."

  Harper shakes her head. "They might not say anything while you're there to defend me, but it's uncomfortable sitting there knowing what they're thinking."

  Jamie hops up. "I know you had a tough start to things here. But did you ever stop to think not everyone at this school is like Declan and his friends? One thing this thing with the mentorship should show you is not everyone spends their time worrying about what you're doing, Harper. I get why you're a little leery, but honestly, sometimes the truth isn't that everyone's out to get you. Sometimes it really is you being paranoid."

  Jamie whirled and left the room, leaving Harper sitting on the couch, mouth hanging open.

  What in the world was all that about?

  Harper snuggled under the covers, twisting to find a comfortable position. After a few seconds she was moving again, unable to be lulled into sleep.

  Gee, that couldn't have anything to do with eating ten tons of sugar and then trying to get to bed before 10pm, could it?

  She threw off the comforter and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She'd hoped to hide herself in sleep after Jamie's parting shot left her feeling a little worse for wear. But since she was twenty-one and not ninety-one, sleep this early in the evening was not to be found.