Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

by Hayden Hunt

  But things took a turn for the worse a week ago. I didn’t understand the mechanics of it much (I probably could have if I tried harder to understand, but I pushed it from my mind) but basically, the doctors thought it best to put her in a medically induced coma. Which was why she couldn’t even speak to us now…

  And I didn’t know if she ever would.

  The doctor came in, a smile on his face. “Hey there, Jake, did you color that pumpkin?”

  “I painted it!” Jake said eagerly. “I painted it like Mommy would paint it.”

  “Well, how sweet is that!” the doctor cooed at him.

  I liked Doctor Rushmore. He was always very sweet to Jake and he had a comforting way about him. He really seemed to know what he was doing, which I appreciated, because he had my sister’s life in his hands.

  “Luke, may I speak to you outside?” he asked me.

  “Sure,” I agreed, my heart pounding. “We’ll be right back, bud,” I told Jake.

  But he was hardly paying attention to me. He was back to telling his mother all about his week.

  Doctor Rushmore shut the door behind him but I could still see Jake through the window.

  “I’ve got some good news.” He smiled. “We’re taking Sabrina out of the coma this weekend.”

  “You are?” I asked excitedly. “And you think she’ll be able to come out of it okay?”

  “That, we’re not so sure about. I can’t make any promises. I will say that Sabrina does have brain activity but it will be impossible to see the extent of the damage until she wakes. And we don’t know if she will wake right away, we don’t even know if it will happen at all, but my hopes are high. She’s a fighter, your sister.”

  “Yeah, she is,” I said with mixed emotions. I was both excited to hear she had a fighting chance and overwhelmed with the possibility that this was the end of the road for her.

  “If she shows any sign of waking, I will call you right away.”

  “So you don’t think we should be here when you take her off the drugs?”

  Doctor Rushmore looked over at Jake through the window. “No, I don’t think we should put Jake through that. I don’t want him to get his hopes up. I also don’t want him to see his mother wake up and be unable to really interact with him. I think it will be best if you two come after we can assess the damage. She will still be on a lot of pain killers and medications so don’t worry, I doubt she’d notice even if you two were here.”

  I nodded. “Okay then. So we’ll wait for your call.”

  Doctor Rushmore patted my shoulder. “Hang in there, Luke.”

  “Doing my best.” I smiled weakly at him as I walked back into the room.

  Jake was still talking, this time going on and on about the pumpkin patch.

  “It’s a pretty place I think you would like, Momma,” he told her. “I know you like when the leaves are changing red and orange and the whole place looks red and orange!” Then Jake looked really serious and turned to me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Do you think she still likes trees?”

  “Your mother? Absolutely, why don’t you think she’d like trees?”

  “Well, because that tree broke her,” he answered.

  God, talking to him about this just broke my heart.

  “But it wasn’t the tree’s fault, Jake. The tree was stuck there, it couldn’t move. Your Mom understands that, and she doesn’t blame the tree.”

  He nodded, but didn’t look satisfied. “So it was the rain’s fault? Or the car’s fault?”

  I sighed. “Like we talked about before, Jake, it wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

  But this was hard to explain to a six-year-old. He saw the world in black and white. When something went wrong, he thought there was someone or something bad to have caused it.

  But there was nobody and nothing to blame, not even Sabrina. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was the first rain of the season, the oil had risen up on the freeway, and she hydroplaned. Nobody could have foreseen it, and nothing she could do would have prevented it, except maybe not going into work that day.

  But that simply was never an option for Sabrina. Even when she wasn’t feeling well, she went to work. Even if Jake wasn’t feeling well, I’d come over and take care of him while she worked.

  She had to make ends meet. There was no child support coming from Jake’s deadbeat dad. There was only her to support the both of them, and money was always a little tight, though it was enough to get by if she got all of her hours.

  I always tried to offer money, but that was the one way she would never allow me to help. She was too prideful.

  “Do you want to go get some lunch, Jake? Your mom needs to rest.”

  “No!” he said immediately. “She rests all day! She just sits here and rests! She’s happy to see me.”

  I took a deep breath. “You’re right.” I smiled. “We can stay here a little while longer, but then we’ve got to go.”

  He nodded and gave his mother a quick kiss on the hand.

  He really was right, she did just sit here and rest. There was no reason we needed to leave right now, we were in no rush. I just hated being here.

  I had my fingers crossed that this would be the last visit like this. Maybe next time, she’d be awake. Maybe she’d be able to nod and squeeze our hands and I’d feel like my sister was actually around… Maybe.

  God, I missed her so much.

  We stayed another half an hour. I enticed Jake into leaving by saying we’d get ice cream after lunch, but that only barely worked. I gave Sabrina a kiss on the forehead before we left, but it felt hollow. Everything felt hollow. Even my excitement about tonight couldn’t drown this feeling out.

  But hopefully, actually being with Peter could. Maybe he’d be able to distract me… I hoped, at least. I didn’t want to feel like this any longer.

  5

  Peter

  I dressed up real cute in preparation for our date. Nothing too fancy, of course, I needed to keep things toned down. I was taking him to a nice but somewhat casual restaurant to keep the pressure off. I also had a little dessert place in my head in case he wanted to hang out even after dinner, but I’d bring that up at the end. Act like it was a sudden impromptu idea. I didn’t want him to know I’d put a ton of thought into this date.

  I had, though. I had been thinking of it all week. Things were starting to pick back up at the pumpkin patch, so it wasn’t as if I had to sit there all day and fantasize about our first date. But I did anyway. I couldn’t help myself, I hadn’t been this excited about a guy in a long time.

  I picked him up at his apartment at seven. I saw his nephew at the window when I pulled up and I waved to him, but he just pouted and looked away. Well, all right then. This was why I couldn’t date men with kids, they were too unpredictable. They’d decide they didn’t like you for the smallest of reasons. I didn’t know how to appeal to kids.

  I was planning on going to the door and picking Luke up like a gentleman, but he must have seen me pull up because he was already out the front door when I parked.

  Admittedly, I was a little grateful for this. It would have been awkward to have to make small talk to his nephew.

  Still, when I saw him coming, I got out of the car and went to his side of the door. The least I could do was open it for him. As soon as he saw what I was doing, he got a goofy grin on his face.

  “Why, how sweet of you.” He smiled. “And they say chivalry is dead.”

  “Not when you’re on a date with me.” I grinned as I shut the door and went back around to the driver side. “So, there’s this cute Italian place I go to when I’m in town, and I was thinking we could go there? Unless you have any objections.”

  “Objections to pasta? Not a chance.” He smiled back.

  We made some light small talk on the way there. Mostly stuff about his work, about my family’s farm, things like that. He was surprisingly easy to talk to considering how nervous I was. />
  I was glad I’d picked him up, though. We got all our warm-up conversation done in the car so we were considerably more comfortable with each other when we got to the restaurant. He got out of the car before I could open his door for him again, but I did open up the door to the restaurant for the both of us.

  It was a cute little place. It had these rustic looking orange textured walls. The seats and tables were all a dark, clean black with orange tablecloths. Along the walls were fake vines and racks of decorative bottles of wine.

  It didn’t feel overly fancy, but it wasn’t as lame as a casual dining chain restaurant. It was the perfect middle ground for dates.

  We were seated at a table for two near a window and given two menus. I pretended to look at mine so Luke didn’t feel rushed, but I didn’t need to look. I knew what I wanted.

  “Oh, it all looks so good!” he chimed. “I can’t believe I haven’t been here before.”

  “You’re absolutely going to love it,” I told him. “The food is excellent.”

  A perky blonde waitress came by with two glasses of water. “Hello gentleman, have you made your selections?”

  I looked up at Luke. “Do you need any more time?”

  “Uh, no, I don’t think so.” He shook his head and turned to her. “I think I’ll have the shrimp fettuccine alfredo.”

  “Excellent choice.” She turned to me. “And you, sir?”

  “Yes, I’ll do the salmon pescatore.”

  “Fantastic. And anything else to drink besides water?”

  “I’m good, thanks,” I told her.

  “Me too,” he said.

  “Okay, I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.” She turned on her heel and returned to the kitchen.

  “Hey,” Luke began, “I hope this isn’t weird to say, but thanks for inviting me out tonight. I don’t get out much at all lately and I really needed a night to get out of my head.”

  “Not a problem. And thank you, for saying yes,” I said as I sipped my water. “Have you been a little stressed out?”

  “God, you have no idea.” He rolled his eyes. “But, you know, I’m sure it’s not first-date-friendly conversation material.”

  “Oh, I don’t want to do that,” I told him seriously. “I don’t want to pay attention to some arbitrary social rules and regulations. I don’t want to make small talk all night and avoid being our honest selves until, say, the third date. Let’s just throw those silly societal rules out the window and be ourselves, shall we?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Because, uh, ‘myself’ right now is a little hard to take.”

  “I think I can handle it,” I assured him.

  He sighed. “Well, I don’t know how to even begin…” He laughed awkwardly. “This is a little weird, you know, being straightforward about my life with a total stranger.”

  “It’s only weird until you do it. Then it’ll be the most natural thing in the world.”

  “I suppose…” But he was obviously still hesitant.

  “Okay, I guess I’ll be blunt and straight forward first, then. Is it the stress from watching your nephew?”

  “No, of course not. Or, okay, maybe a little bit. Why did you think that?”

  I shrugged. “Something about the way you were with him at the pumpkin patch. You two just didn’t seem happy.”

  “Well, no, we’re not,” he admitted. “But it’s not as simple as I’m just stressed out by caring for him. I love my nephew dearly. I don’t mind that part of it at all. I’ve actually been helping out with caring for him a lot through his life.”

  “Oh, really? So you’re close to your family?” I asked.

  “Uh, not exactly.” He laughed awkwardly. “My parents have passed away, but I wasn’t close to them at all. So, don’t worry, no need to say ‘sorry for your loss’ as people always do. It’s my sister that I’m close with. She’s always been very loving and supportive of me. We’re super close and I love both her and Jake.”

  “Jake is… your nephew?”

  “Right.” He nodded.

  “And Jake is your sister’s son, then? You didn’t mention any other siblings, so…”

  “Yeah, my sister’s son. And yeah, there are no other siblings. Just me and Sabrina.”

  “I think that’s really sweet,” I told him. “I like meeting a man who has some family he cares deeply for. Personally, I’m also very close to my family.”

  “I imagined you’d have to be! Running a farm together and all. Who all helps with it?”

  “That definitely strengthens the bond, yes. It’s really my grandmother’s farm. Only me, my mom, and my dad live in town so the three of us help as much as possible. But she, of course, also has a ton of hired help so we mostly watch over things.”

  “That sounds really sweet,” he said as he drank his water.

  “Yeah, I really love it. Nothing like spending time with my family.” There was a lull in the conversation, so I tried to think of another question before things got awkward. “And why are you watching your nephew?”

  He did that same eye-shifting thing I noticed at the pumpkin patch.

  “It’s complicated. I mean, don’t think I’m being rude or overly private. I wouldn’t mind telling you at all but… again, it feels weird to put this kind of personal information out on a first date. I’m worried I’ll make you uncomfortable.”

  I laughed. “Hey, I meant what I said, you won’t make me uncomfortable.” I could see he was unconvinced. “Okay, well, then I’ll start first again. I’ll get way too personal so you see I’m serious.”

  “Okay, deal,” he answered. I could see I had piqued his interest. “If you give me something personal enough, I’ll go ahead and spill too.”

  “All right then, not a problem,” I told him. “How about… hmm… Oh, I know! I’m adopted!”

  His eyes widened a bit. “You are?”

  “Yep, since birth, so it’s not as if I knew my other family or anything. All I’ve ever known is the family I have now and I love them to pieces. Sometimes I think I might love them even more because I’m adopted. Because they chose to bring me into their world, you know? And I’ve been theirs from the second they adopted me.”

  “That is so damn sweet. Your family sounds really lovely. And I take it they’re accepting of you being gay and everything?”

  “Oh, absolutely, They’re incredibly supportive. My mom even does her best to try and set me up with men she meets, believe it or not.” I laughed.

  “Man, that must be nice.” He sighed. “My parents weren’t even remotely supportive. I think it was all they could do to try not to hate me for being gay. They pretty much did, though. And the only person I had in my corner was Sabrina.”

  “God, I feel terrible for you.” I leaned my head on my hand against the table. “I can’t imagine a parent being so cruel to their own flesh and blood. It’s really sickening.”

  “Yeah, I don’t get it either. I mean, Jake isn’t even my kid, but there’s not a thing that boy could do to get me to turn from him.”

  “I guess compassion just isn’t in some people’s DNA,” I said as I shook my head. “I’m glad you have your sister, though.”

  He cringed for a second. “Yeah, me too.” His tone said it all.

  “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong or—”

  “No, of course not.” He forced a smile.

  I looked at him suspiciously. “What is it you actually want to say?”

  He took in a deep breath. “Like I said, it is very personal.”

  “More personal than what I’ve said so far, huh?”

  “Well, uh, I guess a lot darker than what you said. It’s definitely going to put a downer on our date here.”

  I stared at him for a moment. “Maybe it will, I can’t say, don’t know what it is. But I think I can see you really need to get it off your chest. So you should know, I really don’t care if you put a damper on our date. Say whatever you do or don’t need to say, I’m all ears.”
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br />   He thought about it for a moment before finally speaking. “Okay, but I warned you.”

  I could feel myself literally leaning into the table to catch every word.

  “Here’s the thing. I’m watching Jake right now because my sister is in the hospital.”

  “Oh my god,” I muttered. “Luke, I’m so sorry. Is… she going to be okay? What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “She was in a pretty bad car accident about a month ago. There was a lot of physical trauma and… I don’t really know. If she’s going to be okay or not, I mean. I hope so badly that things will turn out fine, but right now she’s unresponsive and we just have to wait and see if that changes.”

  It all made sense now. Jake and Luke’s disappointed faces at the pumpkin patch. The way Jake kept asking for his mother, couldn’t focus on anything but seeing her. And, God, how defeated he looked when he had to tell him they couldn’t see her now.

  My heart was breaking for the both of them. For the heavy weight Luke had to carry and for that poor little boy currently living without his mother.

  “Luke, I’m really sorry,” I said softly.

  “It’s okay, really. I wasn’t looking to turn this into a pity party but you were right. I needed to get it off my chest. But, uh, can I continue to be honest?”

  “Absolutely!” I insisted.

  “I just want to say that I understand completely that this is probably going to scare you off. I was anticipating that, in fact. I know my life is too complicated right now for serious dating. And I didn’t come here thinking we were going to end up in a relationship or anything. I came on this date because I needed one night of careless fun among all the bullshit that my life currently is. So I don’t need you to stick it out with me or anything, I just need you to have a blast with me tonight. That’s all I was even looking for.”

  I nodded slowly. “The thing is, that’s not quite what I’m looking for. And hey, if all you really need is a fun night, I’ll be sure to at least give you that. But what if I’m not scared off?”