Deviant Fixation

by Valencia Carmelita

  "Oh dear, look at me Sanam." She tilts my chin up and grief glimmers through her eyes as she continues. "I understand what you are going through is akin to a nightmare, I understand because I myself have to live a guarded life...the world is a very cruel place for us all my dear ..but you just can't give up on yourself like this."

  My brows knit perplexingly. "Giving up on myself? What are you saying ?"

  She inhales deeply and for a brief moment closes her eyes before reopening them. "By you returning to your former home, that is giving up. That is practically suicidal and you know it. Your husband may kill you. Don't jump into a death trap deliberately. I will not allow it, I promised Mister Mirza I'd provide you safety and I will do my best to convince you that here is a sound place for you to live."

  My shoulders slump under her grip as I suppress the urge to weep torrentially over this heartbreaking reminder. I couldn't go back...baba would send me away into Imran's custody.

  He would beat me to a pulp, I flinch outwardly. I couldn't face Imran and his gang. Then there is Yasir and Hamdard, the potential rapists lurking in the shadows. I couldn't even discard the traumatizing events of what Hamdard put me through.

  "Please stay.." Rachael begs earnestly, pulling me into a warm embrace. "..don't worry over my brothers repulsive mannerisms when the rest of us are willing to shield you..he'll come around soon..he's just..distrustful and very protective of the family.."

  "But that gives him no right to say such horrible things to me!" A feeble protest slips from my mouth. "I did no wrong to him!"

  "Shhh, I know..I know. " She consoles, patting me on my back. "Just try to avoid him if you can, and ignore his disorderly conduct for the sake of your safety and well-being. He's only making himself look bad. "

  I swallow hard the lump forming in my throat as I convince myself to come to terms with my ordeal.

  How screwed up was my life ?

  But then unfortunately, she was right in a way. It would be suicide on my part if I went back. Suicide was a complete sin.

  We pull apart a few minutes later when we hear Duffield clear his throat.

  I had forgotten his presence for the past few minutes of my conflicted brooding.

  He offers an embarrassed smile as he awkwardly asks. "Shall we head inside?"

  ◆◆◆

  No later than a minute, we enter through the massive doors of the elaborate entrance.

  What accosted my eyes ahead was a scene I was very much mentally unprepared for.

  Infact I had nearly faltered in my steps and would have tripped had Rachael not extended her hand out to steady me by my shoulders.

  A mega spherical foyer so captivating! Warmly Mediterranean with polished marble floors of stylish sophistication topped by a soaring sky dome.

  Immensity of the foyer is illuminated by dimly lit round ceiling lights and a very classy gilded chandelier.

  Right under the chandelier stood the men who had departed our company some few minutes ago. Besides them were Bev and a royally dressed Katie, who immediately glanced our way upon our arrival.

  "Rachael!!!" The both of them shouted in unison. Concern shone in their expressions as they wasted no time in dashing over and threw their arms around her willowy figure.

  "Girls, girls...I'm fine.." Completely caught off balance, Rachael tried distancing the girls from her within mere seconds. "..you can let go of me now..."

  Bev withdraws slowly while a tearful Katie clings to her older sister and sobs out. "Oh dear God, Rachael I was so worried!"

  "Shh, don't cry Katie.." Rachael consoles, stroking the girl's long golden tresses. "I'm alright, don't cry.."

  "Vladimir was right all along!" Katie sniffles as she finally pulls apart and peers directly into her older sisters eyes. "You shouldn't have left the manor.."

  Rachael inhales deeply with apparent irritation before retorting. "I'm here aren't ?!"

  This response in haste serves to quieten Katie. She withdraws completely in embarrassment while eyes downcast before aiming them on me. Then a wistful smile graces her pink lips.

  But before she has the chance to address me, Bev beats her to it. "Sanam! I hope you're fine! I'm so sorry for what you must have gone through!"

  She engulfs me in a tight embrace and I catch a whiff of strawberry scent as her peculiarly dangling earring nearly hits me in the eye. "Oh God, I'm so sorry for you having to go through another tough situation!"

  "I-I'm..I-I don't know.." I manage to croak out in a daze as Bev releases me, allowing Katie to give me a brief embrace of her own.

  Seriously, how could I say I was fine ?

  After all that I had gone through.

  "You're safe and that's all that matters." Consoles Katie in her soft-spoken manner. She peers down at me with the same amount of concern she displayed for her older sister.

  "Thank God, Vladimir got there in time!" Bev agrees earnestly with a frantic nod of her head. She extends her hand, placing it on my shoulder. Her eccentric bracelets jingling in the process. "Serge texted us everything that's happened! We are extremely grateful to you for having kept Charlie safe!"

  "Oh dear God, Thank you so much!" Katie affirms as tears resurface in her green eyes. She throws her slender arms around me again.

  Bev mirrors her actions and I'm nearly staggering on my feet from under the weight of their embrace.

  Awkwardly, I glimpse at Rachael who's dabbing at her glistening eyes with a napkin as she looks upon us with affection. Besides her, a retreating Duffield aims a warm smile at me. He departs back out the door.

  But all of this is short lived when Vladimir's sleek voice intrudes yet again. "Debrief, Rachael."

  As girls pull away from me, I notice the repulsed expression on his face at us. He shifts his attention on his older sister.

  "It can wait till tomorrow." Responds Rachael tartly. "I need to freshen up."

  A slight furrowing of his brows in irritation, yet the tone of his voice unwavering. "That it shall not. Urgent matters need attending. Debrief now."

  With that final conclusion, he determinedly strides away. Huxley and Serge following behind him through a nearby archway.

  Openly scowling, Rachael strolls after them after a momentary reluctance.

  I exhale in relief from his departure, it was beyond obvious he terrified me...jerk.

  "You must be awfully tired!" Katie turns attentively towards me while grasping both of my hands into hers. "You should freshen up for dinner soon."

  Before I can respond, Bev adds "Let's show you to your new room."

  "I want her to stay in my roooooom!!!" Comes a whining response from behind us.

  Startled, the three of us swivel around to spot Arielle scurrying in our direction from an arched entrance to the right. In her possession is a red dripping Popsicle, leaving a trail of juice drops on the polished floor.

  Bev groans outwardly while rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest.

  Katie stares disapprovingly at her seven year old niece as she addresses her. "Arielle Marie! Look at the mess you are making!"

  The red haired child pauses midstep while curiously peering down at the floor and then at her melting Popsicle. Her lips form into a pout. "Stupid popsicle keeps meltingggg!"

  "Why aren't you with Lorna and Mrs.Agnelli like Charlie is?" Bev questions.

  "Shut up Bev!" Arielle shouts in a rapid bout of anger.

  "Mind your manners Arielle!" Katie warns.

  "But aunty Katie! Tell Bev to leave me alone!" The child stomps her feet defiantly, in the process half chunk of the Popsicle plops to the floor.

  "You're creating a mess!" Katie points to the floor.

  "Go back to the kitchen, clumsy child." Bev chuckles and this earns her a glare from Arielle.

  In a split second the little girl tosses the remaining Popsicle at Bev and it splatters all over her denim shorts.

  Katie lets out an alarmed gasp while Bev blankly stares down at her newly stained shorts. Then ever so s
lowly her eyes train on the snickering little girl and she growls. "That's it !"

  She stomps in Arielle's direction but in haste the little girl starts running back through the entrance she had arrived from.

  "Get back here you lil rascal!" Bev hollers while sprinting after her. Their shouts ricocheting throughout the massive arching foyer.

  Katie heaves a disappointed sigh and pivots towards me. "I'm sorry for delaying you I-"

  "Miss Katherine?" Another interruption yet by an unfamiliar female voice of Russian dialect has us looking towards the left spiralling stairwell.

  A girl dressed in an ankle length, black and white maid uniform is briskly descending the steps. Her grey eyes shone with worry as she neared us.

  "Yes, Anya?" Questions Katie. The girl shuffles to a halt right before us.

  Her eyes flit warily between the both of us as she responds. "I thought I heard a quarrel of sorts..is everything fine?"

  Extending a hand out, Katie gently gives Anya's upper arm a reassuring squeeze. "Oh no...just that the children are back!"

  Anya purses her lips in slight dismay before quickly aiming a tight smile at Katie. "Ah what a delightful surprise!"

  "Well under the most unfortunate circumstances.." Katie remarks grimly.

  Immediately, genuine concern floods Anya's features. "Oh my! Are they alright?"

  Katie offers her a reassuring small smile. "Yes, thank God."

  Then directs her attention on me, adding. "This here is Sanam Kashani..she's helped save Charlie this time."

  Anya gasps in awe as she observes me fully. I shift my weight uncomfortably on my feet.

  She extends out her hand for a shake. "Miss Katherine and Miss Townsend has told me so much about you! We all here are very grateful! The time when you rescued Arielle..and now Charlie and so much more!"

  I blink at her in puzzlement.

  Told her so much about me ? What more did they knew about me except that I rescued Arielle.

  Shaking her hand, I utter a broken response. "I um ...I well it was nothing. All thanks to God really."

  Anya nods happily until her eyes shift down behind me. Instantly, her brows crease in vexation as she huffs. "I had just mopped the floors an hour ago!"

  The three of us glance over at the puddle of melted Popsicle until someone's phone starts vibrating.

  Katie reaches into her dress pocket, fishing out her iPhone. She studies the screen. With a deep inhale as her cheeks flush red, she states. "Excuse me, I must take this call..Anya please escort Sanam to any of the guest bedrooms."

  With that, She starts gliding swiftly away in a graceful manner.

  Anya complies and pivots on her heel. "Follow me miss Kashani."

  With my mind muddled by unanswered questions, ruefully I stare at Katie's retreating back as she exits out through the main entrance doors.

  Heaving a dejected sigh, I reluctantly start proceeding after the chirpy young maid. She is chatting about only Allah knows what since I can barely catch up to her. Perhaps if it weren't for my exhausted body, I'd take interest in her talkative mood. Merely nodding away at her, I inspect my surroundings fully.

  Oh my Allah! These people are extremely wealthy!

  We strut through lavishly embellished arching corridors, past many doors and entrances till finally Anya halts before a door. She unclips the bundle of keys hanging at her apron strap around her waist and unbolts the door. Nimbly she reaches in and switches on the light.

  Yet again I'm startled at the sight that greets me.

  This was way beyond luxurious, perhaps more than movie star luxurious.

  The ceiling carved in an elaborate style of wood with a simple yet elegant chandelier in the center. Rich brocaded curtains line the four ceiling to floor windows. Bedding of the finest silk embellish the four poster queen sized mattress.

  The floor is polished with an intricate burgundy rug at the foot of the bed. There is a classy carved in marble fire place on the far right wall.

  "Supper will be served in another hour..so you may refreshen up now miss Kashani.." Anya addresses politely. "If you need anything just dial the bedside phone for the kitchen because that's where I'm headed now! All the extension numbers are taped to the receiver."

  I am just about to question her about my duffel bag, but she leaves before I turn around.

  What am I to change into after showering ?

  Heaving yet another weary sigh I close the door behind me and step further into the room. The effects of its luxury wearing off while flashbacks of the day's events plague my mind.

  Walking over to an intricate wooden wardrobe, I fling the doors open only to discover two expensive maroon bathrobes and a pile of towels and towelettes. The golden inscription Nielsen Manor embroidered on the collars of the folded robes.

  Needing very much to cleanse myself of my sweat and remnants of Harry's bloodstains, I grab ahold of a towel and bathrobe as I launch for the connected bathroom.

  I'm not surprised to discover that it's as much as luxurious as the bedroom. I can't help but shudder thinking of how all the money spent on this could have gone to a better use and life was too short. Not like these ridiculously expensive worldly things would accompany one in the grave.

  After a purifying shower and clad in the bathrobe, I reach for the bedside phone to dial up Anya. The list contains many extension numbers for the various quarters of the manor. After two rings, someone else besides Anya picks up.

  "Oh hey Sanam, it's me Serge !" Proceeds the cheerful response.

  "Umm may I speak to Anya?"

  "Well she's very preoccupied at the moment, but I can take a message?" He politely asks. In the background, I hear a scuffle and children's animated voices.

  "I don't have my duffel with me ..." I trail off.

  "Your duffel!" He rephrases. "No problem, I'll be up there with it in a jiffy!"

  Before I can vocalize my objection to prevent him from coming up here and seeing me in nothing but my bathrobe, the line goes silent on the other end.

  Albeit, I'm grateful the bathrobe reaches my ankles in length since I'm so petite. I secure my hair in a towel, substituting it as hijab.

  Within minutes, on the door a gentle knock ensues and I pull it open. Serge's smiling face greets me as he slides off the straps of my duffel bag from his toned arms.

  He's changed into a casual black t-shirt and sweatpants. I avert my gaze from staring at the outline of his well sculpted body as I reach out for my duffel.

  "Thanks" I utter shyly.

  "No need to be so formal miss Kashani" He replies in a gentle manner. "If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask, especially me."

  I nod in gratitude and he departs. He's certainly a gentleman, very well mannered and nothing but kind to me.

  Closing the door, I lean my back against it while pondering.

  why would someone as nice as him even join a mafia in the first place?

  My thoughts wander to the way he seemed so casual and elated over the deaths of Burq Al Nar gang members by the hands of Grigori. Even Bev seemed unfazed and seemed to admire the act.