Deviant Fixation

by Valencia Carmelita

  Instead of meeting her gaze in the mirror, I speechlessly look directly in her eyes with raised brows. She pouts in dismay. "Yeah I don't want to have a kid this early but it's the only way out for me to be with Tommy."

  I felt sympathetic and benignant to her situation. She didn't even know Tommy well enough to just go and produce a child with him. If only her demonic brother wasn't so full of selfish and egotistical axioms, she'd be able to actually live her life the way she desired.

  Everyone should be able to. No one had the right to cease anyone else's freedom to live unless it was out of self defence or crime.

  But what was the crime in this case, that she's a girl ?

  Ughh men usually ruining women's lives !

  "And how do you plan on escaping when this manor is surrounded by three rows of electrical wires and watchtowers ?" I remind the obvious. "Aside from that, you're always accompanied by the Molotov Mafia whenever you venture out of the manor."

  A cognizant smile graces her lips. "That's where Serge and Bev play a major role. They will help me escape."

  "And what about when they too are caught by your brother?"

  "Vladimir will get over it." She shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly. "He will have to and he can't punish them since Serge is Uncle Dimitri's stepson and Bev is Grigori's wife, making her uncles daughter inlaw..so the tides are in my favour!" She winks.

  An abrupt knock ensues against the door and Rachael's voice intrudes. "Hurry up, girls!"

  "We're ready!" Katie calls out as she laces her fingers through my hand and we depart her room.

  In the corridor, she provides me a wary sideways glance. "Are you alright ? Your skin seem cold and moist.."

  "Uh yeah I am fine.." I let out a skittish chuckle and then inhale and exhale heavily.

  She laughs."Seems to me like you're nervous, when I should be the nervous one..having to dance with so many suitors tonight."

  "Oh no, I'm fine really." I insist with my lie.

  There was only but one reason why apprehension was clouding my mind, as we approached nearer to the foyer. Only one justification for why my legs begin to feel antsy with each step I took. Only one rationale for why I was dreading tonight. The entirety of the inference attributed to none other than him.

  I hadn't seen him since that unfortunate day of his sexual assault on me. Here I was, completely dreaded perceiving him tonight. If Katie, Rachael and Bev weren't so relentlessly adamant on having me attend this event, I would have successfully counted down the remaining two days till my birthday in my room. I even kept a kitchen knife in my defence under my pillow in case he decided to break in again.

  As we reach the stairwell, my eyes immediately land on him standing a few paces away from the stairs. I bite down on my bottom lip as anxiety takes a stricter hold over me, my heart palpitates.

  His broad back facing us, immersed in a hushed conversation with his cousin I recognize as Ivan Molotov. Both are immaculately garbed in business suits, and hair styled of the 1940's.

  Please don't look at me please don't look at me please don't look at me..

  At around the next junction, they both laugh at something said. His soft chuckle is deep and masculine, strangely pulling at my heartstrings. Right in those dreadful seconds, they turn their faces in our direction.

  Nooooooo

  Instantly, those piercing blue eyes are drawn to me and the faint smile on his face vanishes. I was fairly certain I just suffered a mini heart attack in those seconds. I avert my vision to my slipper clad feet. Invariably my mind unable to cope with the fact of how excruciatingly handsome he appears.

  It was indecipherable to me whenever I caught sight of him, I was always amazed anew by his physical appearance unlike any other man. Instantly, the images flash through my mind of him touching me in my most private area and I suddenly feel sick at myself.

  "Uh.." Katie tugs at my arm. "Why have you stopped?"

  I didn't even realize I had froze in the middle of the stairwell.

  "Sorry" I mutter barely above a whisper and resume descending.

  All the while I sensed his searing eyes on me, while I continued to stare down. It felt as if time had slowed as much as I strived to quicken my pace away inorder to hide from his sight.

  Unfortunately, Katie decides upon heading straight towards them. So I immediately free my hand from her grip and briskly stride away past, in the direction of the kitchen. Yet I felt his gaze trailing after me.

  Once I enter the kitchen, I find it packed with platters of delicious cuisine on trolleys, ready to be rolled out for serving in the next two hours.

  Mrs.Agnelli, Anya, and Lorna busily rush about setting things. They seemed more prepared today than they were during the Christmas banquet. Infact there was only one other extra chef and five maidservants hired for today's event.

  "Oh sweet Jesus, you look wonderful !" Mrs.Agnelli's eyes lit up as she comments on my appearance. Both Anya and Lorna pause what they're doing and grin widely at me while voicing approval. I can only but blush and voice a gratitude in return.

  I decide upon faring time in the kitchen helping them out,which they really didn't need. I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to go out there and be subjected to his obvious stripping stares. I remain lingering in the kitchen for the next thirty minutes until Bev bursts in through the double doors.

  "There you are!!" Bev waves her index finger in my direction accusingly. "Just as I suspected you'd be here instead of where you should be!"

  "And where is that?" Mrs.Agnelli inquires airily while she exchanges looks of amusement with Anya and Lorna.

  "In the ballroom! With us girls!" Bev frowns at me. She places her hands on the side of her hips in a disappointed gesture.

  "Oh I was just helping in the kitchen." I excuse.

  "Pffft, we don't need any help here." Anya shakes her head at me.

  "I think Sanam is just being shy.." Lorna provides, while her eyes dance in merriment. "Since she's looking so pretty and most likely gaining attention from gentlemen."

  Immediately my face floods with a blush as I shake my head in denial. They all laugh at my apparent bashfulness. I cross my arms over my chest. "Oh stop it you guys! I look alright..no big deal.."

  "You look gorgeous enough NOT to hide in the kitchen!" Bev grabs ahold of my hand and drags me out. "My aunt Margo is here and she wants to meet you again, she really enjoyed your company at my wedding."

  I knit my brows in puzzlement. "Why is she attending this courting soirée?"

  Bev flicks her hand dismissively. "She dotes over such events, she's a real romantic at heart even though she's never been involved with a man. She just enjoys attending balls where young people court eachother."

  "But isn't she clinically moody?" I recall.

  "Yeah she is, but that doesn't mean she is incapable of enjoying herself." Bev explains as we enter into the ballroom.

  The ballroom isn't as crowded as it was during the Christmas banquet or Bev's wedding. Most of the male faces are unknown to me but I recognize many of the female cousins of Katie.

  The men and the women are courteously mingling with eachother as waiters carrying silver platters, provide them sparkling glasses of champaign.

  A soft classical melody drifts through out the ballroom and I spot the orchestra on the far end on a raised platform. A few couples are slowly waltzing on the dance floor.

  Within minutes I'm standing in aunt Margo's company. She insists upon me referring to her as an aunt as well.

  "I'm so happy to see you, you look so pretty." Aunt Margo states in her normal monotone attitude.

  "Thanks, you look good as well." I smile at her and she just continues giving me a glum stare while holding her glass of champaign. We just stand there in awkward silence until Bev returns with Duffield.

  "Oh hi aunt Margo." Duffield chuckles tightly as he waves his hand at her. I could sense he didn't want to spend time in aunt Margo's moody presence. But apparently Bev dragged him here like she did
me.

  "You both are the other reason why I'm here today." Aunt Margo remarks sulkily. "I missed you both from last time..you lighten up my moodiness..the doctor advised I should be around people who lighten up my mood.."

  Both Duffield and I exchange puzzled looks before I give an awkward chuckle. "Uh heheh..that's great..I'm glad we're helping in..in err lightening your mood..heheh.."

  And then the awkward silence between us three continues. So I look away from her and my eyes land on Katie and him several paces ahead.

  They have their backs to us. He's introducing an amiable young gentleman to her, likely a suitor.

  Katie lifts her face upto give the demon a sullen look as the gentleman places a kiss on her hand. He guides her away to the dance floor for a slow waltz.

  The demon turns slightly, and I could see the regal side profile of his face but he hasn't seen me yet. He's looking affectionately in younger sister's direction while folding his hands at his back in a quaintly courteous manner.

  Katie makes a sordid face at him. I notice the slight curving of his lips in an affectionate smile before it breaks into a pearly grin.

  However brief it was, I had never seen him smile before and smile warmly as he did. I was under the assumption that he was only prone to smirking cruelly or just plain austerity etched into his features.

  Oddly enough I found it endearing the silent facial exchange between older brother and younger sister. Albeit little did he know, that Katie was planning on escaping from the plans he ensured for her future.

  As if sensing my gaze, right in those seconds he diverts his face in my direction.

  Those blue eyes zero in on me through the clusters of people.

  I quickly glance away in repleted embarrassment of being caught staring. But then I pilfer a quick look up again. To my horror, he's approaching me in brisk strides with a face full of determined austerity.

  Then abruptly a waiter halts him midstep inorder to offer some champagne. He briefly breaks eye contact with me just to give the waiter a glare of annoyance. I take this opportunity to dash out of his view.

  "I must attend to a matter aunt Margo!" I excuse myself rapidly.

  "Uh can I tag along?" Duffield asks.

  "You're staying right where you are with me." Aunt Margo declares as she clamps her beefy hand on Duffields arm. He provides me a helpless expression. I can only offer him a brief sympathetic look as I shuffle away swiftly.

  I'm almost nearing the exit when Rachael halts me and takes my hand. "I must introduce you to one of my cousins Olga here, she's been asking about the lovely dress you're wearing. I told her, Katie said its Calvin Klein but my cousin thinks it's by.." Rachael makes an abject face. "..Freddie Cortes."

  "Just look at the material, I know my sense of fashion!" Olga declaims airily. "That apparel screams Freddie Cortes, it's wayyy too expensive looking for a Calvin Klein dress."

  I let out a nervous chuckle at them and cautiously peer behind myself. To my horror, he's found me again and he's headed in our direction, frigid eyes set on me. I try wrenching my hand out of Rachael's grip. But she begins to tug me along as she lightly argues with her chatty cousin. We begin slowly strolling away.

  I pilfer a quick glance back only to find the demon has been stalled once yet again. This time by his Uncle Dimitri Molotov and alongside them walks Grigori. Now the demon is unable to excuse himself unlike he did with the waiter.

  As Rachael pulls me along, I watch him and the two Molotovs also begin a leisurely stroll, a distance of three feet between us. Dimitri and Grigori were conversing with eachother while the demon's serious focus remains cemented on me. I feel my face tinging with a flush of scarlet and look elsewhere but him.

  What the heck is wrong with him?!

  Why is he doing this ??

  Staring at me so shamelessly infront of the public!

  Before I know it, that familiar sleek voice intrudes our stroll. "Excuse me ladies, I need a word in private with Miss Kashani."

  In repleted unease, I look up at him standing just two steps of a distance. It's unnerving the way his undivided attention is comprehensively on me.

  It's equally inconvenient that such a display of attention he's providing me has brought a hush over Rachael, Olga and even the men and women situated near our vicinity. I sense my face blush intensifying as my hands develop more clammy.

  In bewilderment, Rachael breaks the momentary awkward silence. "Sure go ahead.."

  Both her and Olga inch away from me. The clusters of others stand there gawking at me and him while murmuring under their breaths.

  I risk a glance back up at him and discover his eyes briefly settling on my lips before locking gaze with mine. His brows furrow in the slightest movement as if he's in deep contemplation.

  "Billiards room.." He then brusquely states, audible enough for my ears only.

  I blankly stare up at him, my mind going haywire in such close proximity after what he did to me. He lets out a miniscule exhale and I catch a whiff of mint.

  He commences in a polished voice of certainty. "I can assure you..I only need a word..follow me."

  This momentary slackened shift in his demeanor manages to snap me out of my anxious condition. Precipitously, I provide him an angered glare.

  How dare he come here and request I be alone with him after what he has done to me?!

  "No.." I decline in an adamantly strict tone,audible enough for his ears. "Say what you need to say here, otherwise leave me alone."

  He raises a brow. My anxiety returns just as quick as it left when a cruel smirk tugs at his lips. He inches forward and lowers his face near my hijab covered ear. The cool scent of his aftershave tingling my nose.

  His voice seeps out in a soft chilling whisper. "Perhaps you'd like to put on a little show for my guests..for I certainly wouldn't mind dragging you if I must..or..perhaps it may interest them overhearing about our little secret tryst.."

  Instantly my posture stiffens upon hearing his words underlined by a threat.

  "Now..would you like that?" He asks while he shifts his face slightly. He chiseled nose almost touching the side of my cheek. I suppress a shiver as his intoxicating fragrance engulfs me.

  At the corner of my eyes, I see everyone near us, staring in a mixture of surprise and confusion. Completely embarrassed by their attention, I gulp and swiftly shake my head in denial at him for an answer.

  "Good girl.." He drawls approvingly. A satisfactory smile slowly appears on his lips. Easing back, he peers down at me. Extending his hand halfway out to the side without breaking eye contact, he gestures. "I suggest you lead the way..Miss Kashani.."

  Deeply agitated, I avert my gaze away from him and refuse to look anyone else in the eye. I clench my fists at my sides as I walk towards the direction of the billiards room. On the way, I sense his analytic gaze raking over me incisively.

  I come to a dejected pause at the closed door of the billiards room. Within seconds he halts infront of it, eyes glued to me yet and reaches over to shift the doorknob. Pushing it wide open, he curtly utters. "After you..Miss Kashani."

  I feel my cheeks heating over such a gentlemanly courteous gesture from him.