Don't Look Back

by Wendy Vella

  He managed a snort as he once again heard the sounds around them. The lap of the lake, the gentle rustle of the leaves, all sounds he’d been deaf to seconds ago. Brad had a scary feeling this was pretty much the most perfect moment in his life, and that thought was enough to break the spell she’d woven around him.

  “We need to get you back now, before they come looking and then lynch me for touching their girl.”

  “More than touching.” She giggled.

  He lifted her to her feet and took a last longing look at her body, trying to memorize every dip and curve, because he would never see it again. He didn’t want to feel like he did right at that moment, like the ground was moving beneath his feet. That wasn’t for him.

  They dressed in silence, and Brad battled the turmoil in his head. He shouldn't have done this, shouldn't have slept with one of his brother's friends, a woman who had issues, a son, and would probably now want more from him.

  “Macy, this was a one-time thing.” He felt like an asshole for saying it, but it needed to be said. “I'm leaving tomorrow.”

  She had been fussing with her high heels, but she stopped and faced him. Her expression was composed now. He could read nothing in her eyes.

  “I don't want happy ever afters either, Brad. This was a great experience that taught me not to be scared, and that I can be a passionate woman, but you need not worry I am going to beg you for more. I did this with you because I knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere.”

  Great, it was fucking wonderful.

  “Ah, sure, great, good to know.”

  She took the helmet from him and slipped it on, and then he helped her into his jacket.

  “Macy, I just need you to know—”

  “Brad, there’s no need for this, really. It was great, and now I can move on with my life, thanks to you, so please don’t say anything more.”

  “Okay, good to know.”

  Lifting her back on his bike, he swung his leg over the front and joined her.

  She was saying all the things he usually wanted to hear, so why the hell wasn’t he happy about it.

  Kicking his bike to life, Brad decided it must be fatigue that had his head all over the place. Fatigue, and the best goddamned sex he’d had in his life.

  Brad woke the following morning in the room he had booked at the Howler. He'd let Macy go back to the wedding by herself, and then gone in to say good-bye to his siblings before heading up to his room.

  Swinging his feet out of bed, he grabbed some clothes and headed for the shower. Rotating his shoulder, he eased out the stiffness; hot water would do the rest.

  He’d banged it up bad in the accident, but losing Mark had been more painful. He’d been the only person Brad had ever called friend. With him, he’d been himself, not who his father wanted him to be.

  Shaking off the sadness that still pulled at him, Brad decided that he would leave Howling today. He would pack and find Ethan, then say good-bye. Brad had no intention of running into Macy again, and leaving was the best way to ensure that.

  The water felt good, and he rested his head on the wall while he thought about Macy. As far as sex went, it was the best he'd had, Brad could admit that to himself at least. Once she'd given herself to the passion, she was right there with him every step of the way.

  “You are one sweet woman, Macy,” he said as the water streamed over his body. Her lips had sent him to places he'd never experienced before, and when he’d sunk deep inside her, the pleasure had been beyond description.

  “It's been a while,” he reminded himself. He hadn't had time for a woman in his bed lately, so that was probably why he'd felt like he did with Macy.

  The woman was made for passion, and he refused to acknowledge that the thought of her experiencing such pleasure with another man disturbed him. In fact, it made him fucking angry.

  Turning the water to cold, he blasted it over his body, and then got out and rubbed himself down, hard, with the towel.

  “It's done, you had a good night, massive understatement, now it's time to get out of Oz, Dorothy.”

  He dressed in another pair of worn jeans and a T-shirt, then closed his duffel and headed downstairs.

  “Can you give me directions to Ethan and Annabelle Gelderman's home, please,” he asked the girl on reception.

  Minutes later he was on the same road out of town, only this time he didn't have the legs of Macy Reynolds wrapped around him. He followed the lake, the blue waters looking inviting, but he didn't have time for that. He needed to get this done. Say hello and good-bye to his brother and then leave. No need to speak about the stuff that was inside his head, no need at all.

  Texas was of course still the most beautiful place in the world, but Brad had to admit that Howling was right up there. He’d always believed himself a big city boy, but he could see this place had its pluses. Peace, friends, and community to name three of them.

  Finding the recently wed Geldermans’ house, he turned his bike up the drive.

  Set back in the trees, the entire front was glass and open. The roof was pitched, the materials natural, and it looked like it had been there for years.

  Pulling his bike to a stop, he lowered the stand and climbed off. His brother's face appeared above him.

  “I wondered when you'd find your way here.”

  “I said I'd see you before I left.”

  “Come on up then, we have food and coffee.”

  His stomach rumbled at the words, and he was soon taking the stairs.

  The view was spectacular. Snowcapped mountains, a vast expanse of water, and he could see why Ethan had settled on this spot to make a life with his new bride.

  “Hi there, Brad.”

  Annabelle wore shorts that showed off long limbs, a multicolored tank, and in her hair was an emerald scarf.

  “Hey, Mrs. Gelderman.”

  She gave him a cheeky smile, then moved to slip an arm around her husband's waist. He in turn leaned in to her. Macy would roll her eyes and say something about everyone being loved up about now, and it pissed him off that he knew that on such short acquaintance, even if he did know the woman intimately.

  “So you probably met this idiot last night, but let me introduce you again,” Ethan said as Brad noticed the man lounging in a chair on the deck.

  “Paul Newman, aka Newman, meet Brad Gelderman, my brother.”

  Brad ignored the small jolt as Ethan claimed him, and then moved to shake the man's hand.

  “No way, I'm a huge fan, man. Have all your movies.”

  Newman gave him an easy smile, and Brad guessed he was used to the notoriety that came with his name.

  “You should try my organic, dark-chocolate peanut butter cups, they're really something.”

  Brad laughed. “I may just have to do that.”

  “Sit.” Ethan waved him to a seat.

  They didn't touch on anything personal, and he guessed that was because Newman was here, and he was thankful for it. With luck, he could leave Howling without opening another vein of emotion.

  “So before I left D.C., I heard a rumor that I've been sitting on until after the event of the decade,” Newman said, looking from Ethan to Annabelle.

  “It was, wasn't it?” Annabelle preened. “Better than any society wedding you've been to is my guess, Newman.”

  “No comparison.”

  “What society wedding have you ever attended?” Ethan asked his friend.

  “Plenty. One in particular had a champagne fountain and handmade chocolates in the shape of each guest’s initials.”

  “Get out.”

  “True.”

  “Champagne fountains are so last month.” Annabelle faked a yawn. “So what's the rumor?”

  Brad watched the smile fall from Newman's lips.

  “A developer is looking into buying the Buchanan land, and several other locations around this lake.”

  “What?” Annabelle's shriek was loud enough to make her husband wince. “Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan wanted it t
o remain in the family, untouched, and until now I thought that had happened. It's got some of the oldest Redwoods in the area.”

  “I know that, Annabelle, but before I left D.C. a friend of mine told me he was involved in a large property transaction and he thought I'd be interested because it was close to Howling.”

  “But what does a developer want with it? With any of it?”

  Brad knew Annabelle wasn't going to be happy with her friend's answer to that question, because his face showed his reluctance to speak.

  “Well shit, Annabelle, don't shoot the messenger, and remember I'm friend not foe.”

  “Just spit it out, Newman.”

  Ethan was taking the passive route and waiting for Newman to answer, face calm, unlike his wife’s.

  “Seems they want to build several boutique resorts, and the Buchanan land is their first purchase. It will be exclusive and for the rich and famous.”

  “What!” Annabelle leapt to her feet. “We don't have that shit here! The Buchanan land is literally only a three-day walk from Howling. We'd be swamped with tourists year round if that was the case. Helicopters would be buzzing overhead from dawn till dusk. This is the work of that Nadine Buchanan. She's the sole heir, and a nasty bitch.”

  “I don't want you to hold back, honey.”

  “It's true, Ethan, she and Macy were tight, but unlike Macy, she didn't have the nice inside her just waiting to come out.”

  “How much land is it?” Brad asked, refusing to acknowledge that he wanted to ask questions about Macy and what had happened to bring out her nice.

  “Two hundred acres, give or take,” Newman said.

  “That land has some really cool trees and rivers. This can't be allowed to happen.”

  “Nadine Buchanan can do whatever the hell she wants to it, if her folks didn't stipulate otherwise, Annabelle.” Newman frowned. “We would have heard if it was for sale, so my guess is whoever wants it came looking.”

  “But why here, and why now? And how will we know if the will stated that the Buchanans wanted it left untouched, Newman?”

  “It would have been filed for probate, so you'd need to request to take a look at it,” Brad said. “It's not that hard, you just need to find out which county it's filed in. Again not hard, as it should be this one.”

  Brad felt his brother's eyes on him. He knew what Ethan thought, knew he believed him a man who once had little to offer but drinking and being a bully.

  “Do you know who's behind it, Newman?” Brad asked, then told himself to stay out of this. He didn't need to get involved; he was leaving, and this was his brother's town, not his.

  “He said it was the Falkirk Consortium.”

  “What did you say?” Before he could stop himself, Brad had climbed to his feet.

  “The consortium's name is Falkirk.”

  He felt their eyes on him and could do nothing to stop the flood of rage that threatened to choke him. Stepping away from the others, he walked down the deck, sucking in deep breaths as he went.

  “What's going on, Brad?”

  Ethan stood behind him, close enough that he was casting a shadow over him.

  “Did you know? Have you got something to do with this?” Brad didn't turn, just dug his fingers into the wooden railing.

  “Know what? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “EG, is head of that consortium.” Brad fought to keep his voice calm.

  “Okay, so I understand why you reacted to hearing the name then, but not why you accused me of being involved.”

  Brad made himself turn and face his brother.

  “Why would he come here if there was no connection? If someone hadn't tipped him off to what lay out there.”

  Ethan shed his calm and it was swiftly replaced by anger.

  “Are you actually accusing me of some involvement in this?”

  Brad nodded.

  “Well, fuck!” Ethan ran a hand through his hair. “What the hell have I ever done to make you think I would associate with that asshole, loosely termed our father?”

  Brad saw the truth then. He'd thought he had his anger toward Ethan under control, but apparently not. Apparently, he was willing to think the absolute worst of him.

  “I haven't spoken a word to him since I punched you in the jaw, and believe me when I add that I'm real close to doing it again if you carry on with this shit!”

  “Don't threaten me, Ethan. I reacted and I'm sorry for that, but I don't know you and have no idea about the man you've become. If you swing at me, I'll react.”

  The breath expelled from his brother.

  “I understand that, and know we may be brothers, but know nothing about each other. But I need you to listen to me now, Brad. I'm not involved with him, and never will be, and it pisses me off you think I could be. Especially as it was me originally who reached out to you.”

  “You expect me to believe you're a good person because of a few texts?”

  “This is about me leaving you behind to live with him, isn’t it? The anger and resentment, it’s clouding your judgment.”

  “No… yes.” Brad closed his eyes briefly. “Shit.”

  “I can think of a few stronger words.”

  “I shouldn’t have come here, I can see that now. I thought it was time, but clearly it’s not, and maybe it never will be.”

  “Because you don’t think you’ll ever forgive me?”

  Brad shrugged, on edge. He was being irrational and he couldn’t stop himself. His shirt felt tight suddenly, and his boots one size too small.

  “I’m going. It’s the best thing.”

  Ethan blocked his path.

  “Move… please.”

  “No. I’m not letting you leave until we talk.”

  “Okay, that's enough. You're upsetting Annabelle, and as she got married yesterday, it's fair to say she's still got that whole jittery bride thing going on.”

  Brad looked over his brother's shoulder and into the cool eyes of Paul Newman. Gone was the placid, laid-back man Brad had recently met. This one meant business.

  “You okay, baby?” Ethan said the words to Annabelle but kept his eyes on Brad.

  “Of course I am. It’s Newman who’s upset. He can’t handle raised voices, you know that.”

  Annabelle was in fact still sitting, drinking her coffee calmly, as if two men arguing on her deck was a daily occurrence.

  “No one’s throwing a punch, Newman, so relax,” Ethan then said.

  Newman didn’t move, standing a few feet behind Ethan, a gesture that to Brad said, “I have his back.”

  “I don’t want you to leave until we talk this through, Brad.”

  “Ethan—”

  “If you leave, I’m following. I’ll get in my bird and track you.”

  “What? Why the hell would you do that?”

  “Because you’re my brother and I love you.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “You think I left because I didn’t love you?”

  Brad didn’t nod, but he wanted to. Instead he made himself breathe slowly. Inhale, exhale. He unclenched his fists and dropped his shoulders. Anger was not going to help anything, and he was done with that these days. He’d been constantly angry once, but never again.

  “Look, let’s just leave this, okay. Opening this particular vein isn’t going to make anyone happy, least of all us.”

  “I don’t want you to leave Howling. So what will it take to keep you here?”

  “I have things to do.” Brad fell back on excuses.

  “What things?”

  Ethan folded his arms in a gesture that told Brad he wasn’t going anywhere without an answer.

  “Business interests that need my attention.”

  “If you give me a few days of your time, I promise that if you want to leave and have no contact with me after, I won’t stop you.”

  Brad was fairly sure he was looking into a mirror at the moment, because Ethan’s expression was calm but his blue eyes were any
thing but.

  “You couldn’t stop me if I wanted to leave now.”

  “Actually I could. One call and I’d have Cubby arrest you.”

  Brad snorted at those ridiculous words.

  “You don’t believe me?”

  They stared at each other for long, tense seconds, and then Annabelle moved around her husband to stand directly in front of Brad, so close he could see a handful of tiny freckles on her nose.

  “I want you to stay here, Brad. I want to get to know my brother-in-law, and I want you in my life, in our life. Please, just stay for a few days and see how things play out.”

  She touched his cheek, her fingers warm on his skin.

  “You two were pitted against each other, and both of you have suffered. But you’re good guys, Brad, and I know you will both be happier with each other in your lives.”

  Brad looked over her shoulder to Ethan.

  “She’s good.”

  “The best.”

  He exhaled loudly, and then leaned forward and kissed Annabelle’s cheek.

  “All right. I’ll stay for a few days, but this emotional shit just makes me itch.”

  “Of course it does, because you were raised without it.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  She laughed, and then turned to take Ethan’s hand and lead him back to his seat, leaving Brad and Newman alone.

  “Your brother is one of the best men I know, Brad. He would never jeopardize any part of this town or its inhabitants by allowing this development to go ahead. Since he came into my life, I’ve never doubted he’s there for me if I need it.”

  “So you say.”

  “So I know,” Newman said. “He saved the life of one of my friends, and I could name several other equally heroic gestures on his part, but you'll just have to take my word for that. So whatever this shit is between you, I’d suggest you take the time to fix it. If you have his blood, then chances are you’re a good man too. Get to know each other and heal this divide.”

  “It’s too soon for this. I should have stayed away,” Brad said, disgusted that he'd reacted the way he had. He’d told himself to keep his thoughts to himself, and it pissed him off that he'd let them out. Brad had spent the last few years becoming a different person from the spoilt, out-of-control man he'd once been, and just the mention of his father had thrown him back there. That and the fact he was still carrying a trunk load of emotional baggage where his brother was concerned.