Hopelessly Perfect

by S. E. Rose

  He has two tattoos. One below his ribcage on the right side. It looks like two fancy swords crossed over a diamond. Another one on his right arm looks like Chinese characters. I run my finger over them. His muscles ripple under my touch.

  He points to the one on his rib cage. “It means ‘unity.’ And that one means ‘never forget.’”

  I nod but don’t inquire further. I have a feeling these were gotten during his travels as a doctor.

  “May I?” he asks as he runs his hand along the hem of my sweater.

  “Yes.”

  He slowly pulls my sweater up and over my head, sucking in a breath at the sight of my lacey black bra. I have no idea why, but I have a thing for expensive, feminine lingerie. As soon as I could, I spent money on fancy bras and panties. It was my thing and still is. They make me feel sexy—as sexy as I can feel with a giant scar on my chest.

  Brix doesn’t even flinch as he runs his finger over my scar. “Hickman catheter?”

  I nod, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

  A single finger lifts my chin, and I look into his eyes. “Don’t be ashamed of your battle scars. You endured more than a child should. You won. You should wear this scar with pride.”

  He leans forward and places a kiss on it. Suddenly, that damn scar doesn’t seem so awful. He trails kisses along the edge of my bra as his hands tug my leggings down. I pull my legs out of them, and he steps back, looking up and down at me, taking in my lingerie.

  “Jesus, Lanie. If this is you being casual, you dressed up might kill me.”

  I giggle and shrug as I reach for his pants, undoing the belt and the button before pulling down the zipper. His cock strains against his boxer briefs as I push his pants down. He bends and removes his pants and socks. Suddenly, this all seems so very real.

  I’m here in my bedroom, in my underwear, about to have sex with Brix. I’ve dreamed of this moment for months.

  His hand runs down my side and rests on my hip. He leans in and brushes his lips over mine. I sigh against them as he plunges his tongue inside. It’s like a fuse has been lit. I need more. I grip his arms, and he slowly pushes us down onto my bed. I scoot back as he crawls forward, my legs spreading apart to make room for him. He nestles between them as we continue to kiss, our hands exploring each other’s bodies. The more we feel and taste one another, the more I want his hands on me.

  It’s like he’s read my mind. He pushes down the cup of my bra and lazily sucks and licks his way toward my neck and chest, swirling once around my scar before he latches onto my nipple. I groan with pleasure, pushing my breast upward. He kneads my other breast in his hand as he lightly bites and sucks on my bud. Then, he proceeds to do the same with my other breast. I reach behind me and unfasten my bra, wanting more. He pulls the material away from my skin, tossing it aside, and begins devouring my breasts like a ravenous man who hasn’t been able to touch a female in years. I wonder for a brief second how long it’s been for him, but that thought flies out of my mind as I feel his hand move down my belly and pull up the edge of my panties. A single finger parts my folds, and Brix groans.

  “Fuck, Lanie. You’re so fucking wet already.”

  Before I can respond, he yanks down my panties and tosses them somewhere on the floor and then does the same with his underwear. Spreading my legs wider, he gazes down at my freshly shaved mound and back up at my face.

  “I’ve wanted to do this since that first day we met at the airport,” he says in a low gravelly voice that gives me chills as his head slowly moves toward my sex.

  I don’t have time to think about his words as his thumbs part my folds and his tongue slowly glides up from my sex to my clit. He latches onto that bundle of nerves and sucks hard as he slowly sinks a finger inside me. He curls it inside me just the right way and begins to move it over the perfect spot. I’m building toward a release within seconds. Of course, a doctor would know exactly how to figure out a woman’s anatomy.

  “Brix,” I cry out as I feel an orgasm crashing down on me. His tongue is doing some crazy flicker thing against my clit, and I don’t ever want him to stop as I keep coming, my whole body shaking from the force of it.

  I feel like minutes go by before I finally sink into my mattress, my body limp and sated. He laps up my release, pulling his finger out of me and sucking on it. I practically groan at how hot that looks.

  “Condoms, top drawer,” I manage as I point to my nightstand. He pulls open the drawer, grabs a condom, and tears the foil open with his teeth. He has the condom on within seconds and is positioned between my legs.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asks me.

  I laugh. “Brix, I bought that box of condoms on the way home. That’s how sure I am about this.”

  He chuckles and kisses me. His erection nudges my opening, and I spread my legs farther apart. He slowly presses into me, and I savor each delicious inch of him as his cock spreads me open.

  He takes his time, pulling back and pushing forward a little more with each thrust, until he’s seated to the hilt. He stops and looks down at me.

  “You feel so good.”

  I blush. “So do you. Don’t stop, Brix.”

  “I’m not stopping until you’re screaming my name, angel.” And with that, he begins moving inside me. Our bodies sync with each push and pull. I feel only him. His hands on my breasts, his mouth on mine, his hard length moving in and out of me, his pelvic bone grinding against my clit with each movement.

  “More,” I beg, panting as I feel myself getting closer to my next release.

  He reaches down and pulls my knees up to rest on his shoulders. I’m folded in half, and my pussy is pressed up against him. He begins thrusting faster and harder, and the angle, dear God, the angle is so good. He’s so deep inside me. And just like that, I’m crying out his name and other unintelligible words as I freefall into utter and total bliss.

  Brix gives a final two thrusts and groans as he empties inside me. We stay still for a long moment before he pulls out, removing the condom and tossing it in the trash.

  We both breathe heavily as we lie face-to-face.

  “That was . . .” Brix trails off as he runs a finger along my cheek, pushing a loose piece of hair behind my ear.

  “Amazing,” I say with a grin.

  He laughs. “More than amazing.” He pulls me against him, and I snuggle in, basking in the warmth of his arms. He nuzzles his nose against my hair and kisses my forehead.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful than you losing control in my arms, Lanie. You’re utterly breathtaking.”

  “Then you should definitely work on making me lose control some more,” I reply with a sheepish grin against his neck. I place a kiss on his Adam’s apple as he laughs.

  “I will most certainly be doing a whole lot more of that from here on out.”

  “Good,” I whisper as I cuddle against him.

  He slowly runs a hand up and down my back. I fall into a sort of trance as I slowly drift off into sleep.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I’m vaguely aware of the excessive heat against my back. I go to move from the heat source, only to find that I’m stuck. My eyelids fly open, and I look down. A large hand rests on my belly, and a muscled thigh rests between my legs.

  Brixton. Oh God, the morning after is always so awkward. What the hell do I do? What do I say? Will he be leaving for work soon?

  “Good morning, angel. Stop overthinking things. I can hear your thoughts over on this side of the bed,” Brix says in a gravelly morning voice. He tightens his grip on me, and I can feel his morning wood poking against my backside.

  I turn around to face him, forgetting about my morning breath until it’s too late.

  I clamp my mouth shut before I can speak.

  “What?” He chuckles as he tries to read my expression.

  I shake my head and try to get up, but that only causes him to roll us over so I’m trapped beneath him on the bed.

  He plants
little kisses on my lips, cheeks, jaw, and neck. “Talk to me, Lanie.”

  “Mhhhh . . . uhhhh,” I mumble from beneath my closed lips.

  He chuckles and licks at my lips. I try to keep my mouth shut, I do, but his ministrations start to cause a crack in my resolve, and after a minute I give in to my need to kiss him back.

  “That’s better,” he utters against my bottom lip as he nips at it.

  “I should get up and, you know, brush my teeth and stuff,” I whisper.

  “I disagree.”

  My eyelids fly open. “You disagree?”

  He laughs and grins as he rubs his erection against my belly. “I have you right where I want you. You’re not running away.”

  He moves his body so his hard length presses against my sex. God, does he feel good!

  “Stop thinking, Lanie bug. All you have to do is feel.”

  I moan as the head of his cock glides along my already-drenched folds. My traitorous body has already decided what it wants for breakfast.

  I don’t have any time to think as Brix grabs a condom and rolls it on in record time before sinking into me. My hips arch off the bed, and he slides deeper inside me. He leans down and licks a trail to my right nipple, which he takes in his mouth. I’ve never been much for guys playing with my boobs, but damn it if Brix isn’t getting me closer to my release with whatever his tongue is currently doing to my nipple.

  He changes the angle of his hips, and his pelvic bone grinds against my clit as his teeth clamp down on my elongated nipple. And that’s all it takes for me to see fireworks on the backs of my eyelids as I squeeze them shut and cry out a string of incoherent things.

  I think he’s on the verge of coming, too, but as my eyes flutter open and my legs fall farther open, he locks gazes with me.

  “I’m not done with you yet.” I don’t have time to think as he pulls out of me and flips me over, pulling my hips up as he plunges right back in from behind.

  I cry out as his cock penetrates me deeper than before. Brix doesn’t let up; he pistons faster, using his hands on my hips to provide a countermovement. I have zero control as I start to build up to another release. I can feel my inner walls begin to tighten around him. He must sense it, too, because he brings a hand around my middle and his finger finds my clit, strumming it rapidly, and that is it. I can no longer hold back.

  “Brixton!” I scream as my body quakes, my pussy spasming around his cock. I grip the sheets so hard that I think I may rip them. My entire body tightens and then . . . release. I’m free-falling as I hear Brix grunt.

  “Fuck,” he yells and slams into me one last time. I can feel his cock spasm as he releases inside me. The condom does nothing to prevent me from feeling every inch of his massive member quivering from his release.

  I sink into the sheets. “I’ve decided that I’m never getting up.”

  Brix pulls out of me slowly and disposes of the condom before flopping down on the bed next to me.

  “I’m cool with that plan.”

  We’re lying on the bed panting; the only thing touching is our hands. I’m seriously considering not leaving my bed, when Sandy comes hopping up on top of me like I’m a freaking cat bed.

  “Sandy,” I groan.

  She circles once and lies down on my back.

  “Good morning, Sandy. Are you hungry?” Brix asks.

  “Meow!” Sandy cries out.

  “Don’t spoil her—she will take advantage of you, I promise.”

  Brix laughs again. “Where’s her food?” I’ll feed her. You go start the shower.”

  “Pantry, left side. Her bowl’s on the mat by the kitchen island.”

  “I got this.” He stands up, and Sandy jumps off the bed. Brix slaps my ass and heads downstairs. I admit, I may have rolled over to watch his fine naked ass as he walked out of my bedroom.

  “Damn,” I mutter to myself.

  I get out of bed and head to my shower. My bathroom is my sanctuary. I may have spent way more than I should have on my shower and jetted tub, but they were worth every penny. They certainly aren’t at the crazy level of my brother Kent’s shower, but they are impressive, nonetheless.

  What happens next is unexpected. I hear something shatter downstairs. I wrap the towel around me, and just as I go to step out of my bedroom, Sandy sprints through my room and straight into my bathroom. Her tail is about twice the size of her as she darts around, knocking over toothbrushes, lotions, and makeup.

  “Sandy! Whoa!” I screech as I try to grab her, but she remains elusive as she runs past me and straight into a very disheveled and naked Brix. His hair looks like he’s pulled it out in every direction, and there’s a long scratch down his front and two more on his arm.

  I cover my mouth to contain my look of horror and perhaps a giggle that is brewing.

  Sandy dashes under the bed and doesn’t come back out.

  “Should I even ask?” I finally manage.

  Brix runs a hand over his face.

  “Let’s just say I may have dropped Sandy’s water bowl. I owe you one. And Sandy may have freaked out. I tried to pick her up . . . that was my bad . . .” He trails off and looks at the giant scratch down his abdomen.

  I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips. “I’m sorry. It’s not really funny. OK, it’s a little funny.” I hold out my hand to him, and he takes it. I lead him into my bathroom and make him sit on a small stool at my makeup table. I get out hydrogen peroxide and clean his scratches.

  “I’m sorry she scratched you.”

  “It’s OK. It’s my fault.”

  The steam from the shower that I had turned on a moment earlier starts to surround us. I look over at the shower and back at Brix.

  “Shower?” I ask.

  He laughs. “Yeah, come on.” He stands, grabbing my hand and yanking my towel off as we step into the steamy water.

  “This shower is amazing,” he groans as he lets the rainwater showerhead pour hot water down over him.

  “Most people splurge on the kitchen. I splurged on the bathroom.”

  “Well, this shower was worth it.”

  We don’t say much else as we wash each other’s bodies.

  “Shall we go grab some food?” Brix asks once we are dressed. I nod in agreement, and we head off to Main Street, my arm looped through his as though it was meant to be there.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I can’t believe Ash only has one more day at the hospital. I’m nervous for him to come to my house. I want him to be happy, and I know he’s been through a lot. My foster parent training seems a million years ago, even though last week I downloaded a million parenting books and I’ve been reading them twenty-four-seven trying to catch up on new techniques. I go over everything I’ve bought for Ash. I think I have it all.

  I keep wondering if I can do this. And I also keep wondering if I can keep going down this road with Brix. This past week has been amazing! But . . . I keep doubting myself, keep doubting why Brix would want to be with me and wondering whether I’m cut out for a relationship. My mind is all over the place. Normally, I’m totally in control of everything, including my feelings, and now . . . well, I feel completely out of control and I don’t like that. Di would say to go back to my therapist and work my head out, and she’s probably right. I’m a hot mess. I am also unsure of what I want, which is not ideal at this moment when I just started seeing a new guy and am bringing home a child to live at my house. To say I’m freaked out is the understatement of the century. Maybe I need some time just to focus on Ash and then I can try the relationship thing with Brix?

  I manage to avoid Brix for most of the day, as I let Ash work on some educational games on the tablet while I get some work done. I’ve been able to schedule some family leave to help him adjust. I don’t like taking more time off, but in this case, I know Ash will need my undivided attention for a few weeks. Larry and his wife adopted two of their three kids from foster care, so he was more than understanding about me taking off more time. I r
eally do need to buy that man a gift. He’s been amazing lately. And, I begrudgingly admit, I did need some time off. I may or may not be able to admit that to him.

  When I exit the bathroom, I see Brix. There’s no more avoiding him. He comes over and kisses me. I look around, but no one is in the hallway to see us.

  “Hey, you OK?” he asks me.

  “I’m fine,” I lie. “Just lots going on with work before I take off.”

  “Oh, how about I come over tomorrow night once you get Ash settled in?”

  “Uh, yeah, let’s talk about details tomorrow,” I say because I’m a big chicken and can’t handle a grown-up discussion at the moment about my feelings and how I need to step back and think about them for a few days.

  The sounds of the ‘Code Blue’ ring out in the hallway, and Brix takes off sprinting. I see him run into a room, followed by a nurse with a crash cart. The air is thick with dread as I see more nurses and a second doctor go into the room.

  I slump into a seat in the hallway, glad that Ash is sleeping at the other end of the floor. Memories flood me. Three kids died while I was here as a little girl. I remember them. One was a little boy named Peter who had a very bad form of cancer. One was a little girl named Stephanie who had developed an infection. And one was another little girl named Lena who had a heart condition and cancer. They were all around my age, and I remember the sounds, the urgency of the grownups trying to save them. The crying parents, the dejected-looking staff. It was scary and sad all at the same time.

  I clasp my hands together and pray to the universe to not let this kid die. I need the little boy in room three-twenty-seven to live. Minutes go by . . . too many minutes. Finally, Brix exits the room and throws gloves in a trash can. I know the second he looks up at me that they lost him.

  I suddenly can’t breathe; I can’t be here. I get up and sprint down the hall to the elevators. I hear him call my name, but I can’t stay here. I see the exit sign for the stairwell and go through it, running down the stairs as fast as my legs can carry me. I make it outside in less than a minute. I lean over into the shrubbery outside the hospital and vomit. I don’t even notice Brix’s hand on my back until I stand up on shaking legs.