by Lisa Suzanne
He shrugs. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I can’t believe you passed up Ferris Wheel sex for hotel bed sex. What’s wrong with you?”
What’s wrong with me is that I actually feel something for this girl, but Tommy doesn’t exactly speak that language. He wouldn’t understand.
“Dude, if that’s the life you want, boring ass bed sex, then good luck. But just remember where your roots lie. You’ve been fuckin’ and duckin’ for years. All I’m saying is that there’s a reason why, man. Is that the life you want?”
I know he’s just looking out for me and trying to protect my best interests. The two of us have had extensive conversations about how the life Tyler and Dustin lead isn’t the life either of us wants, so he’s just reminding me. He’s probably worried I’m being blinded by her magic pussy.
But he’s also bringing up a valid point.
He may have just been teasing me, but there’s a reason I run. It’s ingrained in me. I’m not good enough for her. I’m not the kind of man who can be a loving father and husband because nobody ever showed me how to be those things. We already know that before I get too close, before I get too attached, I’ll find a way to fuck up what we’re starting. Since it’ll eventually end anyway, it’s better for me to duck out early. That way I can protect myself.
But that’s what’s different about this time.
It’s no longer just me I want to protect.
CHAPTER 35: HANNAH
“Mm,” I moan as I push off his jacket. His lips cover mine and our tongues tangle together the second we get Chance down in his crib. I closed the bedroom door and we’re out in the living area of this suite just in case he wakes. I guess I’m sort of taking control here—something I’m not at all used to doing—but I want it again. I want his kisses and his thrusts and his body. I want to tip over the edge of pleasure and I want him to crash down with me. And I don’t just want all that for myself. I want to give him pleasure, too.
He tears off the jacket and his shirt a second later, and then he grapples with my shirt. He tosses it onto the floor and he pulls me up onto him. I link my legs around his waist as he carries me over to a little wet bar, and he sets me on the countertop, his mouth never leaving mine until I’m sitting.
I let out a moan of disapproval when his mouth breaks from mine, and he grunts as if my sounds are pushing him into a new realm. The feeling of power that washes over me at that is indescribable.
We kiss there for a while before he helps me out of my jeans, and then he kneels down and kisses his way up my thigh. Nerves rattle around in my chest for what’s coming next.
I’ve had sex before...but I’ve never done this before.
He spreads my legs open a little wider and moves back. He studies me, and when his eyes move up to meet mine, his are hooded with lust. “So pink. So pretty. So fucking wet for me.” His words are soft and simple and an ache presses between my legs where he kneels.
He leans forward and presses a kiss there, but it does nothing to quell the ache. If anything, it only intensifies.
And then he swipes his tongue through me, and holy shit I don’t know if I’ve ever felt anything as good as his tongue. Those little white stars are already edging their way in and he’s barely touched me.
My body bucks up off the counter as my vagina tries to reach out for him herself.
And then he gets to work.
He dips his tongue inside me before moving it out to flick at my clit. He does this over and over, a pattern of expertise that drives me closer and closer to the brink. I clutch onto his hair. I don’t want to stop his progress, but I need something to grasp and his head is the closest thing. I can’t even think straight as the stars turn into fireworks, and then my legs seem to take on a mind of their own as they clamp around his head.
I fly into my climax, and he doesn’t stop with his tongue as the waves of pleasure crash over me. He licks through me with every wild pulse of my body, and I thrash around as I lose control. His hold on my thighs is the only thing keeping me planted on the counter, and I only realize that as the throbs slow and I start to relax. I slouch back and bump into the wall, and I stay there a few beats as I try to regain some semblance of myself again.
“Wow,” I murmur.
He stands and wipes his glistening mouth with the back of his hand. He chuckles. “Yeah. Wow. I’ve wanted a taste of that for a while now, and it was even more delicious than I imagined.”
His words meet their intended effect when a new ripple of need travels down my spine.
Somehow I’m ready to go again. The ache and the need are back even though he just satisfied me seconds ago.
He helps me down from the counter. We embrace a few beats, his body warm against mine, and then the overwhelming urge to help him lose control the way I just did pulses through me.
I want a taste even though I’m nervous.
Actually, nervous doesn’t really describe what I’m feeling.
I’m terrified.
What if I’m not good enough? What if I suck at this? What if he hates it and doesn’t want me anymore? What if he runs away from me and out of my life because I can’t do this?
I pull back out of his arms with a sigh. Ifs and buts actually are making me nuts right now.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, genuine concern furrowing his brow.
“I, um...I want to do that for you, too,” I say, and my tone indicates that there’s a but coming, so I just get right to it. “But I’ve never actually done that before.”
His brows rise. “You’ve never given head?”
I shake my head, and his lips curl into this sexy little grin.
“Well, Hannah,” he says, and he backs up to pull his shirt over his head. He follows that up by unbuckling his belt and flicking the button of his jeans. “Allow me to be your playground of practice.” He drops his jeans at those words, and I can’t help my laugh.
And my own laughter seems to instantly calm me. It’s sort of incredible how he has the power to do that. “Just be nice to me. I’m new at this.”
“I promise,” he says, holding up a hand.
I get down awkwardly onto my knees right in the middle of the living area of our suite, and I stare at the monster in front of me. He jammed that into my body once, and it was pure magic. But now I’m supposed to fit the whole thing into my mouth?
I’ll give it a try, I guess.
I start slow. I grab him in my hand and make a fist, and I lightly move my fist down his shaft. I tighten my grip a bit and move up and down some more, and he hisses his pleasure. I lick the tip, and he moans, which only serves to push me to do more so I can hear him make those sounds of praise again.
I lick my way down his shaft, which he follows with another moan. And then I take him into my mouth. He’s thick steel that’s somehow soft beneath my tongue, and I pull him in as far as I can. Once he bumps the back of my throat, I let up a little before I do it again.
“Fuck yes, Hannah,” he murmurs, and butterflies start racing around my stomach at his approval. I suck him further in before I let go, and I do that over and over a few times.
His hand moves into my hair, and he holds my head in place as he thrusts his hips toward my mouth. “Oh God,” he murmurs. “Yes, baby, just like that. Take it all in.” He pushes his hips in a little harder, and I take nearly his entire length into my mouth. He leaves it there a few beats before he pulls back, and I suck as hard as I can as he moves.
I thought this would be harder or my throat would close up or I’d hate it, but knowing how much I’m pleasuring him makes it somehow sexy and intimate and beautiful.
“Oh fuck, fuck, I’m gonna lose it,” he groans, I don’t stop doing what I’m doing just like he didn’t stop when I hit my climax. Instead, I suck harder, and seconds later, I taste the hot jets of his come as he hits his release.
I keep sucking, swallowing when my mouth fills and taking still more in. And then he stops, and he pulls himself out. He looks down at
me, and I look up at him. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, too, and he reaches his fingertips down to cup my chin.
“Fuck, Hannah,” he rasps. “You sure that was your first time? Because you’re really good at that.”
I shrug modestly, and he chuckles before he hauls me up into his arms. He kisses me softly, and then we get ready for bed.
CHAPTER 36: BRETT
When I wake up, she’s wrapped around me like a vine.
It’s still a little scary. Fuck, it’s all brand new and I don’t have any idea how to make this work. But after yesterday...I want to try. I want to figure out a way.
And hell, do I want her again.
My eyes meet Chance’s. He’s standing in his crib, leaning against the rails and using them for support to keep him upright, and it’s almost as if he’s issuing me a warning with his little eyes that are a perfect match to mine.
Don’t fuck with my aunt. She’s all I’ve got.
I wish I could promise him that I won’t, but I can’t make that promise. I probably will fuck this up. So instead of saying I won’t through my gaze back at my son, I go with something else.
I’m not planning on it, little man.
At least...not intentionally.
He makes a whimper, and I’d love to grab the kid and let Hannah sleep in again, but we’ve got to get to bus call. We’re taking off for Detroit in a little over an hour, which means we need to get this process rolling.
I press a kiss to her forehead, and she stirs. Chance’s whimpers take a turn and he gets a little louder, and I shake her gently.
“Mm,” she moans, and fuck do I wish I could get inside her and spend a lazy morning fucking, but we can’t.
For starters...there’s a baby in here.
But also, we’ve got that goddamn bus call.
We don’t have time for a sweet morning on the balcony sharing cheese danish, but I do place a to go order from room service while she’s in the shower. I also get a couple of large coffees that we can take on the road before I remember that she doesn’t drink coffee.
She doesn’t drink coffee.
So damn close to being the perfect woman.
I pack up the room while she gets ready, and then she repacks what I messed up while I take a shower. The food is delivered in a box, and I don’t show her what it is so I can surprise her on the bus.
Karl arranged a car for us to get to the bus lot, and we’re right on time as we pull up to our home on wheels. A little wave of nerves pushes through my chest as I wonder what this ride will be like with Tommy. We seemed to clear the air last night, but he’s volatile and he doesn’t like change.
I’m playing with fire.
I already upended his world by inviting a chick and a kid onto our bus, and now he’s potentially losing the one single dude he has left in this band of brothers. Maybe I’ll just steal all his gummy bears while I’m at it.
Just the thought of it causes me to shudder. Even I don’t want to deal with the fallout that would cause.
We board the bus and Tommy’s not there yet. We get settled in for our trip toward Detroit. Chance is crawling around the floor of the freshly cleaned front cabin, and I open our box of danish, which delights my girl.
“Danish?” she asks with a soft smile.
I shrug. “I know it’s not danish on a balcony, but I thought you’d like it anyway.”
“I love it.” She takes a huge bite, and it’s beyond sexy.
“And I got you a coffee.”
She laughs. “Still pushing the coffee?”
“I mean, there are worse things you could get addicted to.”
She laughs, and all in all it feels like a nice, lighthearted morning...but there’s still no sign of Tommy.
I finish my first danish and head over to Tyler’s bus. “Have you seen Tommy?” I ask.
His brow crinkles and he shakes his head.
I check with Dustin next.
Same answer.
I try texting Tommy.
Me: Bus call was thirty minutes ago. Where the fuck you at?
I wait a few beats, but I don’t get a reply.
It’s unlike Tommy to be late, and even stranger for him not to reply, but I’m not one who usually jumps to the worst possible scenario. In this case, though...something feels off.
I’m sure I’m still just reacting to everything Hannah’s been through. I’ve never really felt as close to a woman as I do to her, and surely I’m just projecting what’s been difficult for her onto my own situations now.
I take a deep breath.
And then my mind goes to that place anyway.
The place where our lives change forever because of one stupid mistake.
Maybe I’m sensitive to it now because suddenly there are other people depending on me, but I guess I’ve had people depending on me since the day we heard our first single hit the airwaves. I’ve always felt I was an essential part of this band, but someone else could technically do my job. They wouldn’t have my flair or my personality or my love for our original songs, but they could do it.
Tommy’s irreplaceable, though. He’s not just the face of our band—even though our bassist gives him a run for that given the fact that Tyler was on a reality show to help us gain exposure.
He’s our entire sound. He’s our singer. Yeah, he plays guitar and fucks around on keys once in a great while and he’s musically talented in other ways, but he’s so much more than that. Without his voice, our fans wouldn’t know what to sing along to.
And it’s not just that. Tommy’s always looking for the next big thing and the next way to get more fans in our base. He’s tireless in his pursuit for money and success. And, of course, for pussy.
But he’s also not afraid of anything except settling down and having a boring, predictable existence. That was one area in life where I thought we were the most similar until Hannah walked in with her cute little ass along with my kid.
Tommy takes risks and he thinks he’s immortal, and that’s a bad combination. He only needs to piss off the wrong person or take drugs from the wrong dealer or fuck the wrong girl for all this shit to explode in our faces. And that’s why anxiety is starting to creep into my chest.
What did he take last night?
Usually we’re together and we have that unspoken bro code where we monitor each other. But we weren’t last night. I jetted out to be with Hannah, and I ended up with the best blow job of my life.
But for what?
Because Tommy isn’t here right now, and I can’t help but imagine he’s lying on a tile floor passed out and alone.
It’s strange how vivid that image is.
I head back to Tyler’s bus after a few minutes. “Any word?” I ask when he steps down.
Tyler shakes his head. “You heard anything?” he asks Dustin as he steps down from his bus, too.
“Nope,” he says, and Karl appears a second later.
“I’ve been trying to reach him for the last forty-five minutes,” Karl says. “If we don’t get on the road in the next few minutes...” He trails off. We all know the importance of bus call. There’s a new city to get to, a sold-out stadium to perform for, twenty thousand fans waiting for us. We have media to address and soundcheck and a meet and greet. We don’t have a lot of space to fuck around with being late, and we only have small bumpers of time built in for traffic or accidents.
We’re using that up now.
I take control. “Why don’t you all get on the road ahead of us so the crew can start set-up and as soon as he gets here we’ll be on our way?” I suggest.
I leave out the thoughts disrupting my mind that there’s an actual issue. I pretend everything’s okay like everyone else is doing. It’s Tommy. He’s invincible. He’s probably having one last dip into whatever chick he scored last night before he meets us.
“No way, man,” Dustin says. “We’re all in this together.”
Tyler nods. “Besides, I want to be here to lay into him once he fi
nally shows.”
We stand around helplessly as the clock ticks and the moments pass by. “Should one of us go back to the hotel and bang on his door?” I ask.
“I’ll go,” Karl says, and he heads toward the car that dropped him here. All the other drivers have left, but Karl always pays one extra to hang around for emergencies.
I think this qualifies.
“I’m going with you,” I say.
“Let’s all go,” Tyler says, and we each pop onto our buses to let our women know we’re on our way to find Tommy.
Hannah promises to let me know if he shows, and we all head toward Karl’s car together.
And just as I’m about to slide into the backseat, a different car comes hurtling into the bus lot. The driver slams on the brakes and Tommy jumps out of the back.
“Fuck!” he yells. He grabs his duffel out of the backseat and jogs over toward us.
He looks...rough.
Sunglasses cover his eyes, but he looks like he needs a shower and he could definitely use a shave. I can smell the whiskey and stale cigarette stench from where I stand a few yards away.
He’s going to stink up our whole bus. There’s a kid on there breathing in that same air.
Tommy is so goddamn selfish sometimes.
“You’re almost an hour late and you didn’t have time to fucking shower?” I ask.
“No comment,” he says, his voice as rough as his appearance.
“Don’t pull that no comment bullshit on us.” My tone is threatening, but I fucking hate it when he says that. The guy always has a comment about everything, and it’s only when it suits him that he uses his catchphrase.
“I got laid up with some real nice pussy, and I’m a little on the hungover side, so lay off.” He shrugs, and he’s so goddamn nonchalant about it that I want to tear into him.
My blood boils. “No, Tommy, I’m not going to lay off. You’re fucking late for bus call.”
“So what? We all make mistakes.”
“So what?” I repeat. I take a step toward him. “So what? Are you serious?”