by Tara Wimble
“Wouldn’t expect any less.” Lexie jokes. “Do you want to go?”
“Sure, I mean, it’s Santos’s birthday this weekend so I thought if we went we could corner Aimes and go over what’s happening.”
In the midst of all the crazy and Janice disappearing for a few days at a time, they’ve been meeting up to discuss their super secret plan for Laurel’s birthday. Well, as secret as it can be when you’re trying to plan a party in the same building as it’s going to be hosted as well as the same building where Laurel lives. Which threw Janice’s plan of strippers out of the window.
Not that it was on the table anyway.
“Well I asked her about the dinner thing. To get her out of her room while we set up and she said that they’ll probably head off campus and that she’ll call us before they leave.”
“Good.” Robin says. “What have you got her?”
“That book-” Lexie says vaguely.
“That book?” Robin grins and Lexie hits her shoulder.
“You’re not stealing my present idea!”
“Just making sure you’re not going around building other girls bikes, y’know.”
Lexie smirks with a wicked glint in her eye that she only claims when she corners someone like this. “Oh, so you just want that for yourself?”
“Yeah.” Robin laughs but looks away quickly.
Lexie bites her lip. Cute. “I saw that.”
“That?”
“That blush.” Lexie chances adjusting their hands so they’re lacing their fingers together. Robin accepts.
For a few minutes Robin doesn’t say anything and Lexie is struck at how familiar this all is and worries that Robin will take off. She won’t run after her. But then Robin says something and it rings a strange clarity within her.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”
Robin waits for her to say something but before she can think, there’s more. Her laugh comes out like the most casual thing in the world and her grip on Lexie’s hand strengthens.
It explains everything and nothing all at once.
Lexie’s heart hammers with the loose ends this seems to tie and answer and the words she wants to say but nothing sounds right enough apart from;
“Okay.” She’s taken on the zen of Robin’s wavelength and reflected it back to her. No freaking out. No thinking. Nothing more than this. “So, what do you want to do after the game?”
Lexie feels like nothing in the world has ever been as perfectly said as that.
Robin’s feet trip over each other, or the air, and catch the ground again before Lexie can support her. It’s the only sign that Robin felt the sincerity behind those words. That it doesn’t matter what came before for either of them, or what’s not happening now, Lexie isn’t interested in that.
She’s interested in this.
Their elbows knock and their faces turn away from each other with secret grins that the world can still see. “We could just hang out for a while after?” Robin suggests.
Her heart still expands in her chest. Excitement and more fills her up and she’s scared Robin can feel the sparks flutter in her fingertips. “It’ll be pretty late by then. Will Janice not kick me out?”
Robin opens her mouth and then promptly shuts it.
“What? What was that?” Lexie gapes, forgetting them for a second. “What do you know?”
“She’s not here.”
“Not here? Like not in the building? On campus?”
“Like, not in the city.” Robin’s face increasingly twists, whether to hide her laughter or to disguise how much she’s revealing, Lexie can’t tell.
“Where’s she snuck off too?”
Robin returns to her calmer look of aloofness. “I don’t know but-” She looks down at their hands. “-wherever she is, she’s definitely not going to cry about being kept awake.”
***
“THIS is gorgeous.” Janice sighs at the sight of the beach and the sun’s orange burn painting over the waves. The tide kisses the sand tirelessly.
They left early after Hope called and asked if she felt like getting away for a night. She phrased it a little less predatory than that but Janice had breathlessly said yes and waited outside her building as she drove to get her. The drive took about two hours and they hadn’t stood still since getting out at the beach house.
“My grandparents bought it.” Hope announces. She watches Janice take in the surroundings as she pulls out two glasses. The wine she bought on the drive is open and she can smell it already. Technically this counts as providing alcohol to a minor but there’s a lot of things happening in this moment that she technically shouldn’t be doing. But it’s been a long afternoon of watching Janice explore the beach and attempt to pull her into the sea. She’s going to drink if she wants to.
“Do they come here sometimes?” She paints her eyes over every inch of it. From the photographs of Hope in her teens to the bigger ones of her whole family. The newest one is still pretty old, which Janice hovers by now, is the one from her police graduation ceremony. It’s amazing what ten years can do to a fresh faced recruit.
“Not as much, the drive is too long and as of Christmas-” Hope pours the wine out. “-it’s mine.”
Janice turns around. “You’ve swept me away to your bat cave.”
“I’ll never get you to give up on that will I?”
Janice’s subdued grin grows bigger and harder to conceal as she strolls towards her, skimming her hand over the marble island until the hand reaches her hip, and she’s standing in front of her. “No.”
Hope pushes the glass towards her but raises her eyebrows. She won’t tell Janice to take it easy because she’s in college and students have a way of passing out drunk even when they’re not meant to, but she’d still like her to be mostly in her right mind.
“So are you still apologizing to me or something?” Janice stares at her hip like she’s just discovering them before shooting her wandering eyes away. “Because this place is ah-mazing and I don’t mind you fighting with me if I can come back here.”
“We're here because I’m sick of running in the park.” She sips her drink. “And I thought my apology was you sleeping in my bed.”
Hope smirks at Janice spluttering on her drink at that. “Oh-”
“Apology accepted?” Hope can’t help but feel she has some sort of home advantage here. There’s a lot of things she’s not allowed to say or think about, other than what Vianne has charged her with doing tonight, but making Janice McPherson blush is definitely something she can do. “Although, you’re willing to accept it again later tonight since you’ve brought your own sleepwear this time.”
As she says this she trails her hand along Janice’s lower back. She feels the shiver and smirks to herself as she walks around to the breakfast bar stools on the other side of the island. Janice’s eyes burn into the back of her neck and she only follows her once her face has cooled down. Teasing is easier when they’re both playing things lightly.
Janice has to jump slightly to sit on the stool. Her feet don’t touch the ground.
“I like it here.”
“It’s nice.” It’s quiet and far enough from her life in L.A that she feels like she can breathe easier out here. “I don’t get to come here a lot with work being what it is.”
“Do you go to Seattle much?” Janice asks.
“Major holidays. My mom likes coming here more I think.”
“The weather, I suppose.”
“Have you ever been to Seattle?” Hope smiles. She can’t imagine Janice adjusting to anywhere that wasn’t sunshine every day.
“No. But I could be persuaded.” Janice jokes. “This the furthest away from home I’ve been.”
“No school trips?”
“Local trips. Very historical.” She says with a tinge of sarcasm. “My dad thought I got into enough trouble without going off and getting lost on top of it all.”
“I’ll keep an eye on you here then.”
“You won’t lose me yet.” Janice is anything but shy when she declares that and boldly presses on. “How’s this week been then?”
Hope knows what she wants from that. “I’d rather not talk about work.”
“Maybe you should. Last time you didn’t-”
“You’re here now.” That’s the part she wants to focus on. Not the problems and the apologies that she’s left behind in L.A.
“And I’m interested in you.” Janice keeps her voice away from its usual joking tone. She is interested. Her eyes scream it and her hands twitch with it.
“In me or my work.” Or her body?
“An argument could be made for both.” Or more. This conversation goes on and the heat that Hope has been feeling in the back of her mind, the pit of her stomach, suddenly storms for attention.
“I actually got some good news, depending on who you ask.” She tests.
“Yeah?”
“My captain, Christenne, has been championing the appeal I made against my demotion.” If she doesn’t get this right then Vianne is going to tell Sara and she’ll never hear the end of it.
“Are you serious-” Janice starts. Hope can see a spark of excitement there just from bringing it up. By talking about it, Janice knows that something is on the up.
“And it went through.”
“Went through? Like, you’re getting compensation- promoted?”
“They’re giving me a medal.” It still hasn’t sunk in, even after days of having people coming up and patting her on the back and actually receiving the formal invitation to the benefit.
“Holy shit.” Janice covers her mouth like her cursing offends her or something. “Sorry, but-”
“Yeah, it’s not going to give me back what I lost-” Or win back those that lost faith in her. “But-”
“It’s a start for sure. Now everyone will see- They’ll all realize what you did was above and beyond.” Janice buys into the idea. The mention of heroes and bravery weaves an almost untouchable awe in her that she glows with for Hope. “Hero. I told you.”
Janice steadies her feet on the bars of the stool and places a hand on the counter to lean over. Hope’s hand finds her jaw and holds her up. Congratulations, Janice’s lips say, you deserve this. Sealed with a kiss. The first since Hope apologized. Since she explained. A weight settles in her chest.
“Have you got it yet?”
She means the medal. “There’s a ceremony at the end of the month. It’s not just for me. They’ll honor a few other officers as well.”
“How many others?”
“I don’t know, three or four?”
“So, it’s like exclusive.” Janice states.
“You have to have shown extreme-”
“-bravery or heroism beyond the normal demands of police service. Showing extreme courage while consciously facing imminent peril.” Janice recites. “What? You think I don’t read the news?”
She wasn’t aware that the department had announced anything yet but no doubt someone had started leaking the list to build up the old hype surrounding her name. It would make for a better headline on the day.
“They didn’t say it was you, specifically but, who else?”
Who else would attempt to save their partner from a gun ambush at the cost of a bullet in the shoulder, and stay standing enough to hold her ground until backup arrived. Two shooters down and three squad cars arriving later.
It was only when they dragged her into the back of an ambulance did she allow herself to start shaking.
“What does a medal of valor look like?”
“Silver with a blue and white ribbon.” Hope responds. She’s been to enough of the ceremonies. “It’s heavy.”
“So you’ll look like even more of a badass then? You’ll just have a decorative symbol of ‘do not fuck with me’ as opposed to your general attitude.”
It’s funny listening to Janice’s view on how she looks on the job. Especially as she struggles to keep her comments PG if her eyes are any indication.
“Will you bring it when we go running so I can see it?”
“So you don’t want to be there when I get it?”
“Wait, seriously?” When Hope doesn’t instantly laugh it off, Janice continues. “You’re not messing with me here are you? Because like, you just apologized and if this is a joke then you’ll owe some serious-”
Hope stands up suddenly. Janice falls back onto the stool, looking up at her with wide eyes that babble on even though nothing comes out of her mouth. “Vianne is probably slipping the invitation under your door right now because she thinks I won’t ask.”
“She underestimates you then.” Janice leans back as she tries to drink her in. It’s impossible though when Hope is standing this close to her and gazing down at her with the eyes that drew her in the very first place.
“Oh.” Hope murmurs. “You never want to do that.”
Hope reaches behind Janice, purposely brushing by her ear, and grabs the rest of the wine. She pours another glass for herself. “Will you come with me?”
“What?” Janice misfires on her way to smooth and alert over Hope’s question.
“As my date.” Hope clarifies.
“This would be a date?”
Hope puts the bottle down. “If I wanted someone to just smile and clap in my corner I’d invite Vianne but she’s already going to be there.”
“Then why are you asking me?”
Hope does stare at her in bemusement at Janice’s genuine confusion. It occurs to her then that what they’re doing here is difficult when they’ve yet to actually define their relationship. All Hope feels is want. She wants Janice in whatever way she can have her.
“Because I want someone to smile and clap in my corner-” Hope leans very close to Janice’s cheek. “-who I can take home with me afterwards.”
If Janice underestimated how quickly this would escalate then she’s already made the mistake Vianne made. Hope kisses her cheek and pulls back, only to tuck a stray piece of Janice’s hair behind her ear. “And because I like you.”
Light and simple and what she wants.
“You like me?” Janice laughs quietly. “Are we in grade school?”
“Would you prefer it if I spelled it out differently for you?” Hope drops her voice and places the glass aside. Janice’s back straightens out instantly.
It’s easier to think when she doesn’t see the softness of her cheeks. It’s easier to do when she sees the lust and not the wonder there. It’s easier to whisper that she wants Janice shaking against her tonight making noises she wouldn’t dare let the world hear while the sunset burns into the back of her mind. It’s easier because Janice says nothing but ‘fuck’ and the hand that shoots up to her bicep comes nails first in acceptance.
It’s easier because they’re doing this all backwards.
“So just,” Hope’s hand pulls at the drawstring of her sweats with a forceful tug that pulls her between her legs. Janice teeters on the edge of the stool. “Stop being cute for a second.”
She’s pretty sure that her kissing Janice so suddenly was the only thing stopping “Yes, Ma’am” from coming out of her lips.
Maybe doing this backwards is the only way either of them will be able to move on. It’s fast in her mind when Janice gives in and let’s Hope hold the back of her neck with one hand, the other still tugging at the string of her sweats. She kisses her slowly, just deeply enough for her to feel how much Janice is losing it from this, but not enough to ruin the ending.
It’s hard to pinpoint when she started thinking about this. It got a little foggy and complicated over Christmas when there was more on her mind but seeing Janice sitting on her porch brought that want back again. The need to strip away the flirty defense bit by bit and turn that smile into an ‘o’ just because it’s been asked of her. Janice wants her to.
She doesn’t take Janice to her bedroom. It’s dark and unlived in and not where she wants this to happen yet. Instead she moves them to
wards the couches facing the ceiling to floor windows, as in she picks Janice up behind her knees and takes her there, putting her down where she wants her to be.
All she gives her is a second to get used to seeing Hope lit up by the burnt red sun setting behind her before she crouches in front of her. “Take off your pants.”
Janice whimpers. “Holy shit.”
Hope helps her along as she fumbles with her waistband, pulling and revealing Janice’s legs, still hot from a day on the beach. Her skin is pink and smooth. Hope smirks. More freckles. She just takes off the sweatpants and tosses them behind her. They land under the coffee table while Hope pushes Janice to the right, against the arm of the sofa, and climbs up between her legs.
Janice is dying to comment, she knows it, but Hope is unbuckling her belt and she’s too distracted by that to utter a word. It’s dropped out of the way behind the couch. She doesn’t take anything else off.
The tops of Janice’s legs are sun kissed from their walk on the beach earlier. When Hope pushes her hand over her right knee she feels how hot they still are before Janice jerks in response. The girl in front of her breathes heavily out of her nose.
“You okay?” Hope’s hands slide underneath her knees and up to get a leverage to push Janice further back. Her head rests more comfortably now. Her eyes flicker down.
Janice nods.
The quickness isn’t something she wants here, the closeness is. Hope drops her left arm to the couch and settles between Janice’s legs. Her thighs bunch up around Hope’s hips. Their eyes blink and they’re closer together. Hope hovers her right hand over the waistband of Janice’s underwear. “I need to ask, just because-”
The sharp little noises of anticipation pulsate in her abdomen. Janice blushes but she grabs onto the front of Hope’s shirt. “No, you’re the first.”
Hope stops. “First, first?”
“Third, first.” Janice tightens her fist.
“Alright.” Hope pulls back, hooking her fingers under the cotton shorts Janice wears and drags them from her legs. They reach her ankles and drop. For a second she sees the self-conscious glance away Janice makes when Hope sees her for the first time. She doesn’t look up at her until Hope is spreading her legs to accommodate her again. “I’ll make sure you remember this then.”