The Hat Trick

by Tara Wimble

  They laugh together while Hope and Sara order drinks, water for Janice, and let the buzz of the evening start to fade into the backs of their minds.

  In the few minutes of separation Janice gets a glimpse into the kind of people that Hope lets in. Vianne is soft spoken yet entertaining. She engages Janice in conversation, drawing her in with words and hand gestures, about what it’s like working with Hope.

  “Not always easy but,” Vianne grins like she’s telling a secret. “-there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

  “Not even your girlfriend?”

  “Sara is-” Vianne beams. “-wild. I don’t think police work would suit her like school does.”

  Sara returns to add her own praises to the conversation. She talks about building designs and drawing while Hope pushes her chair close to Janice and drapes her arm around the back of her chair. Janice feels the small hairs of Hope’s arm stand against her back when she leans into the touch.

  They almost mirror Vianne and Sara who have almost no space between them. Sara’s arm is hooked around Vianne’s shoulder and, though Janice notices, the other three don’t seem to bat an eye at how Sara keeps playing with Vianne’s hair and trailing it back to her neck.

  “So ideally I just want to move back here and work for a company that pays me well enough and offers enough holiday days for me to not want to design a building that I’d then jump off.” Sara explains.

  “A solid life plan.” Janice nods. “hopefully you’ll get something like that.”

  Vianne puts her hand on Sara’s knee. “She’s had a few interviews and a couple of offers but she’s waiting until she’s finished the year in Germany.”

  “That’s the dream.” Sara murmurs. But her eyes aren’t on Janice. They’re on Vianne.

  Janice ducks her head, somehow moving closer to Hope, wondering if everyone can see what the real dream is.

  “What about you Janice?” Vianne asks. “Hope says that you’re studying-”

  “Politics.” Janice confirms. She’s not actually sure Hope knows what she’s studying. They spend more time talking about things that don’t involve her classes. “It’s really broadening my perspective.”

  A microphone shrieks to life. Someone taps against it and the four of them shift.

  Sara finishes her drink as people start to set up for the beginning of the benefit awards ceremony. “I bet that’ll be the conclusion of your senior thesis. ‘I really learned a lot’.”

  A few of the senior officers in their division begin to walk towards the stage. Vianne spots them before anyone else. Hope sees Christenne, wearing her dress uniform for the occasion, walking up the steps to the stage.

  Vianne shifts off her seat. “Hope, they probably want you to sit to the side of the stage so they can call you up easier.”

  “Sure.” Hope is casual about it. She sweeps off her seat and pushes her chair in. With Vianne and Sara watching her, she presses a kiss to her cheek so close to her mouth that Janice sighs when she moves away. “I’ll see you in a minute. Don’t make me laugh-”

  Sara beams. “No promises, Sorenson. Just don’t fall on your face.”

  ***

  SHE didn’t really ever imagine this would happen.

  Christenne shakes her hand firmly after placing the medal around her neck. “You deserve this. Thank you for sticking through it.”

  But she’s here standing on the stage in front of most of her fellow officers and seniors. Ian Rollins stares bitterly as she Hoped he would. He was wrong. She was right. The distaste on his face is sweeter when the weight of the medal sinks in.

  It’s heavy, like she imagined and like she told Janice. “Thank you Captain.”

  Christenne is as proud as Hope feels standing next to her. There’s was a small speech and an announcement of the award before they presented it to her and two other officers. After all of the crap she’s been through she actually finds a sense of closure once Christenne lets go of her hand. It’s over.

  Sara whistles loudly just as they take a picture and she’s sure to have pulled a face that made her look thoroughly impressed at her antics.

  She’s regressed to clapping and fist pumping by the time she’s free to meet them again. She feels lighter if anything. The weight of the medal is nothing compared to the weight of the blame she’s felt for the last year. Coming back into her friends makes her feel like she’s flying.

  Janice is the first to step to her, the gleam in her eye that tells her to look forward to tonight, and reaches out.

  “Let’s see it then.” Janice cups the medal in the palm of her hand. Sara naturally makes a face that’s elbowed off by Vianne. “Heavy like you said.”

  “Yeah, they weighed her ego and melted down the metal to match it.” Sara jokes. “It looks good though.”

  “Justice.” Vianne grins. “Come on, you’ll have to make the rounds with it.”

  Hope waves them off, taking the medal from around her neck and slipping into the inner pocket of her blazer. “I am going to get another drink.”

  “And then taking advantage of the free spread?” Janice wraps herself in Hope’s blazer without asking and Hope pauses for a second to appreciate how it pools over her arms. It’s far too long.

  “Then that.”

  “Congratulations, Hope.” Vianne joins hands with Sara, intent on dragging her around the room for a while. “Enjoy tonight okay?”

  “See you later McPherson.” Sara is led away and Janice turns back to her, falling in her step towards the bar with Hope.

  “You looked good up there.” Janice tells her. “That was your captain right?”

  “Vianne filled you in.”

  Janice leans against the bar, looking away from the bottles and to the crowd. She searches like she expects to know them all. “She looks badass.”

  Hope laughs. “I’ll tell her that.”

  “Who else do you know here?”

  Hope has to take a second to scan the room. The crowd is moving and only a few faces stand out for her to point out to Janice. “Well we have a few rookies this year. They’re over there. The one in the white dress is Uma, who’s only a few years older than you actually and she’s with Julie and Vera. Whitney is next to them. She’s one of our crime scene photographers and one of Sara’s best friends.”

  “Did they meet through Vianne?”

  “No actually.” Hope finally catches the eye of the bartender and he rushes to repeat her previous order. “Sara met her at college when she did her undergrad.”

  “Do you know how Vianne and Sara met?”

  “Curious?” Hope watches her. She shines under Hope’s attention, in this atmosphere, and Hope knows she’ll have to than Vianne and Sara for convincing her about asking her.

  “They asked a lot of questions about me. And you.” She adds. “I didn’t really have a chance to ask about them.”

  “As far as I know, they knew each other through mutual friends for a while. Vianne finished college a year before Sara and started basic training. They got together once Vianne graduated.”

  “And now Sara is doing a Masters in Germany? That’s gotta be hard.”

  “It’ll be worth it.” Hope sips her drink. Her eyes dart down the back of Janice’s neck where her blazer leaves a huge gap between material and skin. “They love each other.”

  “Yeah?” Janice tilts her head back. “That’s sweet.”

  Hope knows something sweeter. She switches her drink to her right hand and uses the left to lift Janice’s chin. The kiss is for Janice and for her. They share the hum of gentle affection in a room that buzzes uncontrollably around them. No one is even looking at them as she quietly deepens the kiss. Janice’s mouth slips open enough for Hope to tease her teeth against her bottom lip. Seeing Janice clapping and laughing in her corner had been exactly what she wanted to look down to, just like Vianne had predicted.

  But when she pulls back. A dread settles in her stomach.

  Before her eyes open she thinks it’s Ian
Rollins and her grip on Janice’s chin pinches slightly.

  Except it’s not.

  “Hey,” Hope is subtle. She glances and then refocuses on Janice again. “Can you find Vianne and Sara for me? I need to talk to Christenne. To thank her for all of this.”

  “Of course.” Janice says in a daze. Hope leans back to discourage Janice’s move forward when she slides off the barstool. It isn’t noticed but the fact Hope knows she’s done it is enough to make her feel sick.

  Janice brushes their hands together and departs with a smile. She heads in the right direction and Hope wants nothing more than to follow her. The night would be easier that way. It would probably end sooner and more enjoyably for both of them as well. She aches for that ease.

  But she’s not a quitter.

  Even as she stares at her biggest loss.

  Janice is away and safe in other hands and Hope stares in a new direction.

  Over Janice’s shoulder she’d seen the ghost. The reason that every move she makes, every smile and ever kiss is followed and backed by a lingering guilt. Hesitation. But she turns all the same and he’s beckoned over with that smug smile. It’s worse than Rollins’s. With Rollins she can hold the medal over his head and say that she’s won.

  But with this man, there’s no trophy for the damage they did to each other.

  “Hope.” He says, swilling the drink in his glass.

  She steels herself. “Henri.”

  ***

  VIANNE waves passing people over every few minutes to introduce them to her. They light up in recognition when her name is said and with each handshake, each mention of Hope, every Uma, Julie, Vera, Megan, Lenshire and Christenne that passes, Janice finds herself enjoying being there.

  Sara keeps the conversation small between the constant interruptions. “You surf?”

  “Badly but my friend Robin is helping me out. She’s way better than me. Then again I’m probably going to graduate.”

  “Win some, lose some.” Sara offers. “I wish I had the time to get in the water while I’m back but this is a short one this time.”

  “Soon you’ll be back though?”

  “End of the year.”

  “You never know, a miracle might happen and you’ll be back here before you know it.” Janice jokes.

  Vianne runs her hand through Sara’s hair. “We can only Hope.”

  Speaking of Hope makes her throw a look over her shoulder. Her captain is nowhere in sight but a tall man towers over her at the bar. She can’t see Hope’s face but the man’s face is calm and looks happy to be speaking to her. The smile is a little off-putting though, and Janice turns back to Sara and Vianne again.

  “You getting into Politics then or did are you just in college for the social experience?”

  “This and that. It seemed interesting at the time.”

  “Has it proved you wrong yet?”

  “Not yet. There’s still a glimmer that I might actually enjoy it once we get into it more.” Janice itches to turn around again. “I wouldn’t mind getting into some form of politics though. I think I have the face for it.”

  She throws on the killer smile and snaps the mental picture of what her presidential campaign posters will look like. Winner.

  “Well, at least you’ll be able to support Hope in her old age.” Sara teases her. “What are you, twelve?”

  “Sara.” Vianne chides. “Ignore her. We both know you’re sixteen.”

  “Ouch guys. I was pretty sure I left my jailbait ID card at home.” Janice places a hand over her heart. “My birthday isn’t far off.”

  “Skipped a year?”

  “In middle school. Too smart for my own good.” The back of her neck feels hot. She wants to look. She wants to.

  “You should take a trip to Europe for your birthday. Legal drinking age is all I’m saying.” Sara offers. “Not that it stops you anyway. From what I’ve heard.”

  “We’ve heard nothing.” Vianne intervenes. “I’m still a cop.”

  “Lame.” Sara mutters into her drink.

  They get lost in each other for a second and it’s all the temptation she needs to twist her body towards Hope. Her curiosity hasn’t gone away and the man is closer to Hope now. The calm in his expression has faded and Hope has one arm firmly anchored on the back of the chair. Like she’s ready to move.

  The frown comes as a natural responses. “Who’s that?”

  “Oh that’s,” Vianne looks over. She pauses. It feels like forever before she answers Janice and by that time he’s already touching Hope’s wrist. “Henri. He’s one of the crime scene photographers in the department.”

  Sara chooses that moment to cut her off at the knee. “Why’s he over there? I thought he’d stopped trying to make up with her after that domestic spat they had after she sent those divorce papers before Christmas-”

  Janice feels the bottom of her stomach drop. Something as small as her heart shatters inside her as she watches Henri pull Hope closer to him. His hand falls to her waist like it has so many times before in a time and a place before Janice ever existed in Hope’s mind. And then in the times when she did. She wants it to be a mistake.

  But Hope stopped running with her before Christmas.

  And even if it could, the panic that sets in over Hope’s face says it all. A second too late to push him away. The way she searches for Janice’s face.

  “Sara.” Vianne hisses out.

  “What?” She replies. She only realizes her mistake when she notices how Janice’s face has dropped. “Oh shit.”

  “I have to go.” The words are heavy and halfway to tears. Her hands feel numb as she scrambles to pick up her purse.

  Hope’s married.

  ***

  THE bathroom smells like fucking dew on grass in the early morning and it reminds Janice that this night is still perfect and unruined for some people.

  “Janice.”

  Her mascara runs black lines down her face. Darkness where the dark has never touched before. She feels hollow looking at Hope. All the inside emotion scooped out to display.

  Hope pants and catches up with her. The dewy grass suddenly stifles her and Janice wants to rip the dress from her body in a way that she didn’t anticipate doing earlier in the night. Everything turns to ash in her mouth.

  “You’re married?” She questions first because a part of her is still trying not to believe in this insanity.

  “Jan.” Where is the denial? Where is it?

  But the second comes out in a desperate shout. “You’re married!”

  The accusation rings like church bells and sees her crying again.

  “I’m not married.” There was never a ring on her hand that Janice can remember but looking now she can see a line. A white line where the sun has only just started to touch and that tells her that it hasn’t been long since she stopped wearing it.

  Janice whirls around, unable to face this disaster in the mirror anymore. “Why am I here Hope?”

  “Janice-”

  “Why am I here? Why did you invite me to this? Is this a date? Or are you using me to screw people over?” Janice spits out. “I knew about Ian Rollins but I’m pretty sure you’ve never mentioned the fact that you have a husband you wanted to show me off too as well.”

  “Hey!” Hope shouts. “Calm down and listen to me!”

  “No. No.” Janice is a head shorter but clenching her fists makes her feel stronger. “Not when I have to hear from Sara- Sara- that you’re married. You’re fucking married and I’m here. Why am I here? Why?”

  “Janice, please. I can’t talk to you like this.”

  “Like what? When I’m pissed? When I’m upset?” Janice shakes in anger. “Because I think I have the right to be when someone tells me that you’re married or you were married and your husband or whatever has his hands all over you. This was meant to be for us- this- I thought this was a date.”

  “It is.”

  Janice breathes in through her nose and covers her mouth
to stop the influx of tears again. It keeps them at bay for longer. “No. Not now. I thought that this was going too well y’know? Everyone else in my life seems to be sailing with a few problems. It’s about time I saw my share right?”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Then why are we here even talking about this!” Because Hope has a husband or an ex-husband and Janice just watched and felt the eyes of everyone in that room turn to her. They all knew it. Vianne knew it. Sara fucking knew it. The joke is on her.

  “You shouldn’t have asked me if you didn’t want me to be there!” Janice sobs out. Hope makes no move towards her. “You could have kept me as your dirty little secret instead of screwing me over like that. In front of all of your friends.”

  Janice’s voice breaks at the end. The look of pity that passed around Hope’s co-workers seemed worse than the actual slight.

  “I wanted you there.” Hope retorts. “I was there with you. Jeremy is-” She gets exasperated over the mention of his name from her. “He’s an ex. That’s all he is. Janice, we’re not married anymore.”

  “But you were.” She emphasizes. “You were and you didn’t tell me.” Janice stiffens at how she tries to play him down. They were married. Married.

  “I’m wearing a stupid dress. I haven’t worn a dress since my senior prom.” Janice laughs. “Because this was your night. Your award night that you deserved because you saved -someone’s life- and you deserved to be honored for it.”

  Hope can’t do anything but watch Janice fall apart.

  “And I wanted to be there as your date, and I thought we meant something, that this-” Her voice jumps. “I thought that you wanted me.”

  Hope had talked about her with her friends, her patrol; Christenne, her captain, had come to say hi. Megan, along with the rookies Uma and Julie, who couldn’t have been much older than Janice, stopped to talk. All of them beamed when Hope walked in with her. She thought she was exaggerating at first but they really lit up when they found out who she was. She’d spent the whole night reading into the looks Vianne and Hope had shared. Hope had talked about her.

  That was supposed to mean something.

  “I do want you.” Hope’s jaw tightens with the seriousness of her words but Janice can still see the way he touched her face like there had been no affection lost between them. Janice hadn’t known he’d even existed.