Fox Mate (Madison Wolves)

by Robin Roseau

  I heard Lara's voice, vaguely heard her voice, but the arms were holding me, and I couldn't get away, I couldn't go to her, she couldn't protect me anymore.

  She couldn't protect me anymore.

  I wasn't safe.

  I struggled, and I remembered the knives under my pillow. I reached underneath and I found one, and I stabbed the arms holding me.

  I heard Lara cry out, but the arms released me, and I flew away from the bed, stabbing out wildly at anyone near me.

  The bedroom door opened, and there was a wolf there, a large, large wolf between me and escape. Before she could react, I lunged for her, but she was fast, and she caught my wrist, my dagger only inches from her belly.

  "Michaela!" I heard. "It's just me!"

  I couldn't stab her, she was so much stronger than I was, but I reached with my left hand and took the dagger, raising it above my head.

  A wolf behind me grabbed my wrist in the air. And then a large, strong wolf arm wrapped around my chest, pulling me against a large, strong wolf body.

  "Michaela," I heard in my ear. "Little Fox. I've got you, you're safe, honey. You're safe. That's Elisabeth. You know Elisabeth."

  And I knew that voice, but still I struggled.

  "Elisabeth," the voice said, the tone different. "Turn a light on. Let her see you."

  And then it was light in the room, but the light wasn't my friend. The wolves could see me better. I whimpered and struggled, but still the strong wolves held me.

  I kicked out at the first one, connecting, but she barely flinched.

  "Michaela!" I heard the voice again. "Michaela! Look! It's Elisabeth!"

  And I knew the voice. It was Lara. I kicked again, but Lara said to me, "I'm here, honey, it's okay."

  I stilled, looking down. I knew the arm wrapped around me, except the arm was bleeding from a gash. And I looked up, and I knew Elisabeth. She still clutched my right wrist.

  "You hurt her," I said quietly. "You hurt her! She's bleeding!"

  "No, honey," Lara said. "You stabbed me."

  "No!" I looked up though, and I saw the evidence in my hand, my dagger, the tip red, red with Lara's blood.

  I dropped it, immediately dropped it.

  "Oh god," I said. "Oh god. Lara! It's silver."

  "I know," she said. "It hurts like a son of a bitch. Are you calm now? Will you let Elisabeth hold you while I clean it out?"

  I slumped, nodded, and Elisabeth gathered me into her arms. Lara released me, moving into the bathroom, and I heard her hissing as she began to rinse and disinfect the wound.

  "Elisabeth? I hurt her." I started to sob.

  "Shhh," she said. "She'll be fine. Shhh."

  "Is Michaela all right?" I heard. Elisabeth turned, we both turned, and behind Elisabeth were two more wolves.

  I screamed, and Elisabeth struggled to hold me. "Lara!" she yelled. And then two wolves were holding me, two strong wolves, and two more were in front of me, two wolves who wanted to hurt me.

  "Michaela!" Lara said. "Little Fox! Calm down!"

  I whimpered and struggled, and then Elisabeth said, "Girls, slumber party at Scarlett's. Go now."

  "Is she okay?"

  "Go now!" Lara said, and the two wolves fled. But still I struggled against the two holding me.

  But they spoke soothingly to me, and promised me I was safe. But I had heard that before, and I wasn't safe.

  They turned me around, roughly, and one of them held me while the other crouched in front of me. I struggled, but the one in front of me looked at me with such love and concern. Suddenly I stopped fighting them. "Lara?"

  "Oh honey," she said, and she pulled me into her arms. I began to sob.

  "This is bad," Elisabeth said quietly.

  "Yes," Lara said.

  And I sobbed.

  It took them a long, long time to calm me down. I remembered I had stabbed Lara, but she showed me her arm, and there was a bright red scar, already mostly healed. "You won't be able to tell by morning," she said. "I'll shift, and it will be all gone."

  "It was silver."

  "I got it out," she said. "It wasn't in long enough to poison me."

  I looked over at Elisabeth. "You have to take my knives away, Elisabeth."

  "Yes," she said.

  "Michaela," Lara said. "Would a run feel good?"

  I thought about it. I had a moment of sanity, but I knew panic was on the edge. "If I run, you won't find me. You know I can hide, you won't find me."

  "I'll always find you," she said.

  "Even if I'm trying to kill the wolf tracking me?" I asked her.

  She held me in her arms, rocking me soothingly. Elisabeth went around the room, collecting my daggers. I had two under the pillow, although one I had dropped on the floor. I looked where it landed, and there was a bloodstain there.

  "I ruined the carpet," I said.

  "It will clean," Lara replied.

  There were two more knives in the nightstand.

  "I know you have more," Elisabeth said.

  "Top dresser," I said. "Four more in the closet. Do you need the ones downstairs?"

  "Probably."

  "Book case, bottom shelf below where a wolf would look. Another in the hem of the drapes. Um. Two in the bathroom."

  "Oh my god, you're like a gun nut, but with knives!"

  "Six in my main classroom and four more in my office in the school. A dozen in various places in my car."

  "Holy shit!" Elisabeth said. She went around, collecting my knives.

  "Super soaker behind the dresser," I said. "Careful, it's loaded with silver. There's another in the closet and a small one inside the toilet tank. The other bathroom up here has one, too."

  Elisabeth pulled her phone from her pocket, dialed, and spoke. "Alpha's house, upstairs, wait in the hall, if you hear screaming, go back downstairs. If the screaming is about wolves, go back outside."

  I heard the door downstairs open.

  "Lara!"

  "Shhh," she said.

  "It's Rory," Elisabeth said. "You know Rory."

  "How do you know it's Rory! It might be Angel come to hurt me!"

  "Oh honey," Lara said, pulling me tightly to her. She rocked me. I listened to wolf steps on the stairs and began to tremble.

  "Rory," Elisabeth said. "Stop there and say hello to Michaela."

  "Michaela?" he said. "Is everything all right?" It was Rory's voice.

  "Rory?" I said.

  "It's me, little sister."

  "I'm your big sister!" I said. I calmed down, marginally. "He can come in," I said quietly.

  "Rory," Elisabeth said. "Come to Lara's room, but move slowly."

  "What's going on?" he asked, but I heard him stepping closer.

  "Just nightmares," Elisabeth said.

  "Some nightmares," he said under his breath.

  "I don't do things in halves," I said, then curled back into Lara. "Hold me tighter, Lara."

  And she did, and then even tighter until it almost hurt.

  There was a noise at the door, and I turned that way, but I knew it was Rory. He was standing there, looking around warily, looking for danger.

  "Don't let Angel have me, Rory!" I yelled. "Don't let her take me!"

  "Shhh," said Lara. "You're safe."

  I slumped, burying my face in Lara's neck for a moment. "Give Rory my silver," I said.

  "Careful," Elisabeth said. "They're all silver, even the squirt guns, and I have more to gather."

  "Hide them where I won't find them, Rory," I said. "Not in the house. Somewhere I can't hear you hide them. Don't lose them though! Remember where you put them!"

  "I won't forget, Michaela," he said.

  I heard him start to leave, but I stopped him. "Rory, don't drink the water in the squirt guns."

  "Right. Drinking silver. Bad."

  I listened as he left, and I listened as Elisabeth went from room to room, collecting the rest of the weapons I had upstairs.

  "I'm going to take you to the sofa," L
ara said. She picked me up, and I clung to her, my eyes shut, and then together we sat on the sofa.

  Without Lara noticing, I slipped my fingers behind the cushions of the sofa, and I found the handle of one of my knives.

  "Are there more up here?" Elisabeth asked.

  "No," I said, as I began to slowly pull the knife out from where it was hidden.

  There was a clatter, and suddenly Elisabeth's hands were on my wrist, and she held me rock still. I struggled, but she held me with all her strength.

  "Look at me!" she said. "Michaela! Look at me!"

  I opened my eyes, and my friend, the woman I called "sister", was staring at me, and her face was filled with fear.

  "Elisabeth?"

  "Michaela," she said calmly. "Tell me about all the knives."

  I stared at her. "Oh god! What's wrong with me? Pull my hand out slowly, Elisabeth."

  She did, and there was a dagger in it, my fingers clenched around the handle.

  "Let me have it," she said kindly. "Let me have it, Michaela." Her hand was over mine now, and slowly I relaxed. She slipped the dagger from my grasp.

  "Get up," Elisabeth said. "Hold her, Lara. I don't care what happens, do not let her go."

  "I'll shift if I panic again," I said. "You'll drop me, Lara." I started to sob again. "You have to tie me."

  "No, Little Fox," Lara said. "Shift if you must. I won't let you go." Then she stood up with me, and Elisabeth began searching the sofa.

  "Stop! They're mine!"

  "Shhh," Lara said. "We'll give them all back. Honey, I won't let anything happen to you."

  Elisabeth found the other two I had hidden behind the cushions. She didn't find the two taped to the bottom of the sofa or the one in each of the cushions.

  When had I put them there? I didn't remember.

  I buried my face in Lara's neck. "There are more," I said. "There are more. Think like a fox, Elisabeth."

  She found the two taped to the bottom.

  "Cushions," I told her. "You'll cut yourself. Let me."

  "No," she said.

  "I'm calm right now," I said. "I know where they are. Put me down, Lara, but you two guard the two doors."

  Lara put me on my feet, and the two moved to the two exits. I unzipped the cushions, then carefully reached in and found the daggers, one at a time. I dropped them onto the growing pile.

  I turned to Elisabeth. "There are more."

  "Where did these all come from?"

  "I've been making them. For years. When I quit my job, I went all over the state, and I found all the weapons I had stashed everywhere. There are a lot in my house." I looked at Elisabeth. "Your house now. You will never ever find them all. And the house has traps."

  "We know about the traps."

  "None of the traps are for humans. It's always silver. Get Greg's people to secure the house. Or even Benny."

  She nodded.

  I looked around. "There are more in this room, Elisabeth." I felt my sanity slipping, the panic surrounding me, "Lara, help me." And then I started screaming, and she crossed the room and pulled me into her arms as I screamed.

  I calmed down faster than I had been. Elisabeth was searching the room. She found a few more. I heard Rory come back, and I recognized him this time. "He can come up," I said quietly.

  Together, Elisabeth and Rory searched the bed. They missed two. They searched the dressers, missing only one. They didn't find the one inside the lamp on my nightstand. I stared at each place, suddenly remembering where I had stashed them.

  "Lara, I don't remember hiding them." I told her about them, and Elisabeth found them.

  "Are there more?" Elisabeth asked finally. My eyes flicked to a hiding place, I think. Elisabeth had been watching closely, but it took her and Rory ten minutes to find it.

  "Good god," he said.

  "Search the bathroom and the closet again," I said.

  They found one more mixed in the towels in the bathroom linen closet and about half the ones in the closet.

  I shrugged Lara off and walked to the closet. I found them all, or so I thought. I let my body tell me where they were, paying attention whenever my eyes flicked somewhere.

  Finally I walked back out and stared at the pile of weaponry.

  "The rest of the house is just as bad," I said dully. "And Lara, the woods are worse. I don't remember hiding them. I don't remember buying most of them."

  I turned to Elisabeth. "I don't know how much of my money is really left. I used to spend all my free money on silver. I don't know if I did it recently."

  I took a breath. Lara began to cross the room to me, but I held my hand out. I stood there, trying to think.

  "I think that's all," I said. "In these rooms." I tried to think. "I don't know about the other rooms up here. The main floor, the basement. More, lots more."

  I crossed over to the bed, began making it after Lara and Rory had torn it apart. Lara came to help, but I hissed her off. I made the bed, then crawled into it. I was suddenly exhausted, and I fell asleep even before Elisabeth and Rory had taken all my knives away.

  The nightmares started right away. I was helpless, and Lara wouldn't save me. She gave me to them, and she wouldn't save me.

  Angel was laughing, and the world was spinning, and I felt my bones break as Angel twisted, Scarlett laughing, all the girls laughing and Elisabeth's voice telling me she wanted my house.

  And round and round it all went.

  Lara was already clutching me to her chest when the screams started.

  "Oh god, honey, I'm so sorry," she said while I screamed.

  "You didn't save me! You didn't save me! You let them have me! Oh Lara, you promised I was safe, and they took me from your arms!"

  I shoved away from her, but she clutched me to her.

  Then Elisabeth was in the room again and the two of them held me to the bed while I struggled and fought. They both tried speaking soothingly.

  "Call Vivian," I heard Lara say.

  "No!" I said. "Not her!"

  "Call her," Lara said.

  One pair of hands released me, but the other pair held me even more strongly, and then I felt Lara's body pressing me into the bed, pinning me.

  "Calm down, Little Fox," she said. "Please calm down."

  "Don't call Vivian!"

  "Why not?" she asked calmly. "She'll help you."

  "She wants me to tell you my secrets. She's too smart, she knows my secrets! She knows I have secrets. She wants me to tell you. Oh god! I wasn't going to tell you!"

  "Oh honey," she said. "You can trust me."

  "You don't tell me your secrets! You don't get mine! They are mine, they're all I have now."

  I thrashed, but she held me, and I knew I couldn't get loose.

  "Vivian," I heard Lara say. "This is the alpha."

  "No! No! No! No!"

  "As you can hear, we have a problem," Lara said.

  "I'm on my way," I heard Vivian reply.

  "Noooooo!"

  "Bring sedatives," Lara told her.

  I started sobbing, and then I couldn't breathe, Lara pressing against me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe.

  But she held me more tightly, and I sobbed.

  She rocked me, I don't know how long, and I slept, but when I slept, she woke me. And I looked up. Her face was so full of fear.

  Lara was never afraid, but she was afraid. Of. Me.

  But Elisabeth was there, too, and I couldn't fight them both, I couldn't hurt them both, they were too big.

  But there was another dagger, if I could get to it.

  And then I was lucid, for just a moment.

  "Elisabeth, there's another dagger. It's in the wall, behind the drywall, above the cold air return. You can't reach it, there is a small gap, just big enough for my fist."

  "Through the cold air return?" she asked. I nodded.

  "It's safe there for now," she said. "We'll get it out later."

  "Kaylee could reach it," I said. "But you can't let her
near me. I might hurt her like that other wolf I hurt."

  And then I was gone again, keening.

  They rocked me gently.

  I heard a car drive up, and I went still.

  "It's her," I said in a dead voice. "Lara, don't let her in. I have to talk to you first. You too, Elisabeth. She's evil!"

  "Shh," Lara said.

  "Talk first!"

  "All right," Lara said. "We'll talk first."

  The door opened downstairs.

  "Vivian!" Lara yelled. "Wait five minutes."

  "Yes, Alpha," she hollered back.

  "You have five minutes," Lara said. "Then she's coming up."

  I looked into Lara's eyes.

  "I can't marry you."

  "Oh Little Fox."

  "Shhh. I can't marry you. I'm crazy. You can see, I'm crazy. You can't marry someone who is crazy, Lara. The alpha can't marry a crazy woman."

  "You're not crazy," she said. "Vivian will tell you-"

  "I'm crazy, and you know it," I said. "Who hides weapons like I did? Who stabs her lover without recognizing her?"

  "Shhh," Lara said. "We'll fix this. This is just a bad reaction to last night."

  "No!" I said. "I've been hiding weapons here for months, Lara."

  I looked at Elisabeth. "Tell her, she can't marry me."

  Elisabeth didn't say anything.

  I turned back to Lara. "Vivian won't let you, the council won't let you, she'll take one look and know I'm crazy, and she won't let you."

  "Shh," Lara said. "We can fix this."

  I closed my eyes.

  "Lara, she'll put me in a cage."

  Neither of them responded. It was true.

  "I am me now. Listen to me, Lara, I am me right now. I wasn't before, but I am me now. Aren't I?"

  "I don't know," she said finally, searching my face.

  "Listen to me. You can't let her put me in a cage. I can't do that!"

  I looked around wildly, then calmed again. "I was safe here, but I'm not." I looked at Elisabeth. "I thought I was safe, but you took my house, but my house wasn't safe, either, or I wouldn't have needed all those traps."

  I turned back to Lara. "You both love me, don't you?"

  "Yes, honey."

  "Elisabeth, do you love me?"

  "Yes, Little Fox, I love you."

  "But you love your sister more, don't you? That's how it should be."