Fox Mate (Madison Wolves)

by Robin Roseau

  "I wasn't going to use them," I said. "But thank you. I wanted them gone. In case."

  "I know," Lara said. "I understand what your look meant."

  "Thank you."

  Elisabeth met Rory at the door, shoving the knives into his hands.

  "Jesus!" he said. "How many of these does she have?"

  "More where those came from," I yelled.

  "Folks want to know what's going on," Rory said from the door. "Michaela, are you all right? Everyone is worried."

  "I don't know, Rory. I'll know more in a half hour."

  Elisabeth closed the front door and locked it, then returned to her seat, squeezing my shoulder as she passed behind the sofa.

  I took a big breath of air. "An isolated cabin, in northern Maine, I believe, I'm not sure. I'm sorry."

  "It's okay," Lara said.

  "It was a man and wife. Well, wolf and wolf. You know what I mean. We were so isolated, and I was turning sadistic. Wolves kept hunting me, and I was becoming sadistic in how I dealt with it. I taunted this one. I walked right across his steps in the middle of the night and I pissed on his door."

  "Oh shit," said Scarlett. "I bet that got a rise out of him."

  "Yeah. Fox piss on his door. I hid a mile away and I heard him screaming the next day. This guy was a real winner. He screamed at his wife all the time, and I thought he beat her, too. I listened to him hunt a deer, and he was cruel. He could have killed the deer easily, but he kept letting it back up, letting it run, then taking it down. You don't play with your food like that. You kill it cleanly."

  They looked disgusted along with me.

  "So I pissed on his door, a clear challenge. And he took it up, both he and his wife. She was just as angry and just as bitter, and she was just as happy to hunt me as he was. They laughed about it together, and joked about what they were going to do to me before they killed me."

  No one spoke. I paused to see what they would say. No one was looking at me except Vivian. She caught my eye. "Is this a story you are sure you are going to be able to tell?"

  "This part, yes. Oh, they didn't stand a chance. They were big and stupid. Stupid. So amazingly stupid."

  Vivian nodded. "And the part after this?"

  "That might go badly, but it's the last part to tell."

  "All right," she said. "Lara, don't be lulled."

  "I'm watching her," she said.

  I leaned against Lara for a moment.

  "I lured them out. I gave them a trail to follow, and they followed it. I led them to a dead end, and they didn't have a clue what to do. I had just disappeared, of course, flown away. They thought maybe I had scaled a shear cliff wall. Idiots. They couldn't even find my correct trail. They went home.

  "So every night for a week, I did something to taunt them. I pissed on their door. I pissed on their car. On the third night, they tried to stay awake, waiting for me outside, so I listened, waiting for their breathing to even out. They both fell asleep in their fur, hiding in their barn. I took a dump on their front door step."

  Angel smirked at that.

  "I disabled their car, poking a hole in some of the pipes underneath, the coolant thing."

  Elisabeth chuckled. "The radiator hose?"

  "Yeah, whatever. I didn't need to bother. In the morning, they tracked me. I led them away from their cabin, and I led them into the first trap. It wasn't designed to kill, just hurt. I led them across a small field that I had laced with children's jacks, you know those little things the kids pick up while bouncing a ball."

  "I used to play that," Angel said.

  "But the ones I had were silver, of course. I led them into the middle of the field by a clear path, but I had doubled back, and once they were well into the field, I snuck out behind them, hiding in the high grass, and threw more of them out into the field, all over the only path out. There were hundreds and hundreds of them in that field, and they found a goodly share of them with their paws."

  I smiled, remembering. "Remember, I had become a sadist, but these two deserved it, or so I thought. I set a path away from the field, and they could follow me or not, but then I shifted to human and taunted them, then back to fox and ran away. They ran over the jacks, and some got embedded, and I heard them howling their pain. They eventually got the jacks out of their paws, and they stupidly followed me."

  "They didn't clean the silver out?" Scarlett asked.

  "No. I told you: idiots. They were now silver poisoned, and they were running after me, pumping the silver into their system.

  "I led them deep into an area I had heavily trapped, and then I led them over a deadfall with silvered spikes. They both fell in."

  I looked around. "Does anyone blame me yet?"

  "No," said Lara. Everyone appeared to agree with her.

  "Well, that will change soon. The male, he got it the worst, he went down first, and the female fell on top of him. He got both lungs punctured."

  "By silver," Scarlett said.

  "Yeah. I don't think you come back from that without immediate access to medical facilities that know how to flush silver from a were."

  "Even then," Vivian said. "It would be rough."

  I nodded. "And he wasn't going to get medical help. The female, she wasn't so bad. Oh, she had taken the tips of several spikes, but not that deeply. She was still moving. But she knew her only chance to live was to get to her car and to get help."

  "You disabled her car," Elisabeth said.

  "Yes, but it wouldn't have mattered. You see, they had a child."

  "Stop," Vivian said. "You aren't ready to tell this."

  "Too late, Vivian," I said.

  "Oh honey," Lara said.

  "I got back to the house before she did. What kind of mother leaves a child alone like that, for hours?" I sighed. "The child was a girl, she was Kaylee's size."

  I stared at the floor, and I couldn't talk for a while. The tears started to crawl down my cheeks. No one said anything. No one rushed me.

  "I caught the girl. There was an overhang over the door with two posts holding the roof up, outside the cabin, and I tied the girl to one of them, I tied her real good. She was crying, crying for her mommy, but I didn't care. I thought about Flora and Fauna. I thought about Jean and Tyler and Mom and Dad. And I thought about what all wolves grow up to be. They all grow up to become killers."

  "Not all," Angel said softly.

  "I know that now. The female dragged herself home, and she was in bad shape, the silver poison pretty bad. And then she saw me, human now, standing next to her daughter. I had one of my daggers in my hand. The female stopped. And stared. She lay down in the grass, right where she was, and shifted slowly, the pain evident. When she could talk, she said, 'Why?' So I told her why. As she lay in the dirt, twenty yards away, I told her about all the deaths, about all the wolves who had hurt me. And I told her how I had listened to her talking to her male, and she was no different than the rest.

  "I told her, 'I was nothing but prey to you, a game, someone to hunt and kill for your amusement, and if you had found my kits, what would you have done?' She looked at me and nodded her understanding, admitting what she would have done. But then she spoke. 'My daughter never hurt you. My daughter never hurt anyone. She's a sweet girl. Please let her go.'"

  "I asked her, 'Why should I? You wolves didn't spare my babies when you could.' And she coughed then said, 'If you promise not to kill my daughter, I will tell you where you will be safe.' Well, of course, I thought she was lying, but I agreed, and that's when she told me about your father, Lara. That female, lying in the dirt, told me to go to Wisconsin, that the wolves here were different, that they wouldn't hunt me. I was sure she was lying, but I looked at her daughter, tied to the pole, and I looked at her in the dirt, and I walked away."

  Scarlett smiled. "You didn't kill her."

  "Not directly. It would have been kinder. I thought the female would help her daughter. I came back a week later, just to see how the girl was doing on her own. I knew t
he female would have died. And that worthless bitch had crawled her way to the car and climbed in, trying to start it, but she didn't bother untying her daughter first. The girl was tied to the post, dead."

  I was crying again. "She was Kaylee's age. She even looked a little like Kaylee does. And I killed her."

  Angel and Lara both tried to comfort me, but I didn't deserve comforting. I had killed that little girl, maybe not by my own hands, but it was my fault she died.

  "Michaela," Vivian asked, "was the mother in any shape to free her daughter?"

  "I thought so," I said between sobs. "I thought so."

  "You did not kill her, Michaela," Vivian said. "You didn't save her, but you did not kill her."

  I looked at her. "I don't know if I will ever believe that."

  She nodded understanding.

  I looked up at Lara, and she was watching me carefully. "That's who you wanted to marry," I said. "Someone who would leave little Kaylee to die."

  I looked at Francesca. "That's who is teaching the kids. Someone who would leave Kaylee to die."

  "What happened next," Vivian asked.

  "Next?" I stared at her, dully.

  "Yes. What happened next?"

  "I-" I thought about it. "I ran. I ran west. I ended here. Madison first, but not long. Madison isn't such a haven for foxes."

  Lara tightened her lips but didn't comment.

  "I stole. I stole clothes. I stole money. I studied. And then I went north, to Ashland, far from the wolves here. I couldn't find any wolves living in Ashland. I set new traps, and I set trails to those traps, but no wolves came after me, and after I had been there for months, that's when I interrupted that rape. And, I guess you all know the rest. I got a job, a menial job, but I learned, and they let me do more, and I learned more. I lived wild, but the man whose daughter I saved, he found a place for me to live, and he paid for it for me for a while until I could take care of myself. And I forgot, I forgot so much. I don't know when I forgot, but I did.

  "I didn't remember my babies, or killing so many wolves, or being a hunter. I forgot my brother, and so, so many deaths. But I remember all of them now. My brother's death is my fault."

  "No!" said Vivian. "Your brother's death rests squarely on the wolves who hunted him and no one else."

  "But if I hadn't-"

  "You didn't kill him. You didn't hunt him. The wolves did, Michaela."

  "I don't know if I will ever really believe that," I said.

  She nodded understanding.

  "I regret Tyler's death, and that I didn't warn Jimmy and Jean, and Jimmy and his family died because of it."

  "No!" Vivian said. "They died because those wolves were on the hunt. A fox was going to die that day, and it wasn't you because you didn't draw attention to yourself, but that's it. The wolves killed Jimmy and his family, not you."

  "I don't have any regrets about the wolves who hunted me."

  "Good," said Lara. "Good riddance."

  "But the little girl. How can you love me? I left her there!"

  "You left her with her mother," Lara said. "Yes, her mother was dying, but her parents should have been parents, not... I don't even know what to call it. You don't leave your young unprotected. I don't know who could do that. Michaela, I can't leave you unprotected, and you may be more capable of protecting yourself than anyone I know."

  "You have to hate me, Lara!" I screamed. "You can't love me!"

  And then she pulled me into her arms, and when I resisted, she pulled me in anyway.

  "I will never hate you, Little Fox," she said. And then Angel was there, and Scarlet, and Elisabeth, and after a moment, Francesca, and they all held me while I cried.

  It's Not Over Yet

  They took turns telling me they loved me, all of them. Well, not Vivian. We didn't have that kind of relationship. She sat quietly, waiting for me to need her again.

  "We love you," they said. "I love you," they each said.

  And slowly I thought, maybe it was true, after all of that, maybe they did.

  I looked at Vivian. "Are they lying to me?"

  "No," she said.

  And I let them hold me, and I let them soothe me. I thought, maybe, I could let them love me.

  I loved all of them.

  I didn't know if I could love myself.

  I told that last part to Vivian.

  "I know," she said. "That will take time. You are loved, though."

  I took a deep breath. "I guess I'm done now."

  "There's more," Vivian said.

  "A lot more, I suppose, but this was everything that mattered."

  "How about the arsenal?"

  "That's nothing. I buy the knives. I silver coat them myself. It's not hard. I used to spend all my money on it."

  "Why?" Vivian asked. "You are here in Wisconsin. There are no more fox hunts. You haven't been hunted in nine years. You are safe."

  I stared at her and didn't respond.

  "No wolves here would do a fox hunt," Scarlett said. "She's right."

  I didn't respond. Lara had grown quiet. So had Elisabeth. And Vivian was watching me. She had guessed the truth.

  Angel started to cry. "Who hunted you here? Michaela! Who?"

  "It doesn't matter, Angel." I said. "Please don't cry. The last time was before you met me."

  "How recently?" Lara asked in a tight voice.

  "Three years ago. Ancient history. And two years before that." I thought back. "And once, shortly after I moved to Ashland."

  "Our wolves hunted you?" Angel said, horror filling her face. "No."

  "I'm sorry."

  "No!" she said, and she turned to me, and she started banging her fists against my chest. "Say it's not true! Our wolves wouldn't hunt you!"

  "Angel, stop!" I said. "You are hurting me!"

  "Oh god!" she said, collapsing.

  Lara started to growl. "Stop it, Lara." I turned to Angel and pulled her into my arms. "It was long ago, before you knew me. They're all gone. Just a few bad apples; there are some in every barrel. They're gone."

  I was having a little trouble breathing. She'd cracked some ribs.

  "Scarlett," I said. "Take her."

  Scarlett pulled Angel from my arms. I climbed from the sofa, nearly falling over, and tried to breathe, then concentrated on my ribs. I felt with my hands, looking for the cracks, and almost cried out.

  Lara began growling again, but leapt to her feet and pulled me to her.

  "Stop it, I have to heal, let me heal," I said, but she was squeezing me, and it hurt. I felt another rib give. "Elisabeth, help!"

  Then Elisabeth was there. "Lara! Lara! You are hurting her! Let her go. Lara!"

  Lara's growls grew louder, and she pulled me tighter. I heard another crack. I screamed, and that made Lara pull tighter.

  "Oh god, help me, Elisabeth." I could barely get the words out.

  "Lara!" she screamed. "Lara! You are killing your mate!"

  I couldn't breathe. It hurt. But Elisabeth got through to Lara, slowly. She peeled Lara's arms off me, and I collapsed. Lara tried to pick me up.

  "No! Let her heal!" Elisabeth screamed. "Lara! Stop it!"

  I lay on my side, gasping, and then I shifted, and my ribs were still cracked, and I shifted back, and it was a little better, but my clothes were all tangled. But I could breathe again, and I concentrated on each rib, one at a time, using my hands to find the cracks, and I felt more cracks as they realigned.

  Elisabeth continued to forcibly keep Lara away from me, and slowly I could breathe better.

  I climbed to my hands and knees. Angel was sobbing, Scarlett holding her away from me, and Francesca also, standing behind the sofa. I laid my head in Angel's lap.

  "I'm okay, almost," I said, painfully. "Oh god, Angel, you don't know your own strength."

  "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

  "Hush," I said. "It heals. It was just a few cracks until someone went insane."

  I looked up, and Lara's eyes were wild, struggling with E
lisabeth.

  "Lara!" I screamed. "Stop it!" It hurt to yell, but her gaze switched to me. "Stop it," I said right into her face. "Control yourself. You are the alpha, not some brainless thug."

  It took a moment, but I saw the wildness leave her eyes, and she stopped struggling with Elisabeth.

  "Help me stand," I said. "Gently."

  Elisabeth turned to me after making sure Lara would behave, and she gently pulled me up. I swayed, and she steadied me. I took a breath. It hurt. Everyone heard the crack, but then the last rib settled back into place. The next few breaths were easier.

  I reached over and caressed Angel, then turned to Lara and slowly stepped into her arms.

  "Gentle," I said. "I still hurt."

  Slowly she put her arms around me, and she was gentle. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I heard your ribs crack." Then she glared past me at Angel and began to growl.

  "Knock it off!" I told her. "If I need you to defend me, I will tell you. Knock it off!"

  The growl faded, slowly.

  I took another deep breath, felt one more crack, and then I thought my ribs were healed.

  Elisabeth was staring at me. "You just healed a cracked ribcage."

  "Yep. I'm going to collapse shortly. That took more than the silver burn. Lara, let me sit down."

  She helped me take my seat then sat back down. Elisabeth eyed her and retreated to her own chair. I reached for the food platter and began chowing down.

  I didn't realize they were staring until I was almost full.

  "What?" I said. "God, you guys eat like pigs, but I show one sign of an appetite, and you stare?"

  They all looked away, but they were smirking.

  I turned to Angel once I felt better. She refused to meet my gaze, so I reached out and grabbed her chin, facing her towards me. "I love you. Stop this. You were upset. I am fine."

  "I almost killed you!"

  "No, you did not. Lara did. But you did finally crack a couple of bones like you threatened yesterday."

  "That's not funny!"

  I smiled. "Sure it is, in a really sick, twisted, dark way. And I am going to keep saying sick, twisted, dark things until you accept my acceptance of your apology."