Rush

by Beth Yarnall

  She climbed out of bed and switched on the light to look for some clothes. “What’s she doing?”

  “She keeps trying to leave. The last time my neighbor brought her back after she pounded on her door. It’s three-o’fucking-clock in the morning. I don’t need this shit.”

  “I’m back at my house.”

  “I’ll see you in ten.” He hung up.

  She sifted through her closet and came up with an old pair of sweat pants and a promotional t-shirt from a condom company that read: Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

  Jason must have run every red light because he knocked on her door five minutes later. As soon as Mi opened the door, Jason was through it, towing their mother by the wrist.

  His gaze flicked to the bruises on her neck, then away as though they shamed him. “I’ve had it. I’m done with her and so are you.”

  “Jason, don’t speak to your sister like that.” Faye glared at him, hands on hips. “I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful to women.”

  “Now you’re lucid?” Jason shot back. “I’ve been up and down three times tonight chasing after you and you choose now to round up all your marbles?”

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” Mi scolded. “Mom, why don’t you go lie down in the spare bedroom while Jason and I talk.”

  Mi waited until their mother was out of earshot before she turned back to her brother. He was examining Lucas’s furniture as though it had come over on the space shuttle. “What the fuck is going on here?” he said with the first real smile she’d seen on his face in a long time.

  “That’s Lucas’s furniture from his apartment. We, ah, kinda switched temporarily.”

  “Switched?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “With him, I bet. You know, I actually kinda like that guy.”

  Of all the things he could have said, that was probably the last thing Mi expected. “You do?”

  “Yeah.” He turned back toward her. “He’s good to you and he agrees with me. What’s not to like?”

  She shook her head. “Come into the kitchen. We can talk in there.”

  Jason flipped a kitchen chair backwards and sat down, propping his arms across the back. Mi started a pot of coffee, she had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

  “You look like hell,” Jason said, pitching his voice low.

  “Thanks.”

  “I mean it, Mi. You look like shit. Even without those bruises on your neck, you don’t look good. It’s not that asshole, is it?”

  “No, and stop calling him that. I thought you liked him.”

  “I do as long as he continues to be good to you, we won’t have a problem.” He fidgeted in his chair a little, giving away his discomfort. This was new.

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned back against the counter and regarded him with open astonishment. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

  “Shut up.”

  “No, I mean it. Not that I’m complaining. I like this side of you, but what’s going on? Are you trying to butter me up to take mom back? Because you don’t have to. She can stay here with me now that I’m back home.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Then what gives?”

  He picked at some chipped paint on the back of the chair with his thumbnail. “That guy really seems to care about you. You deserve someone like that, someone to take care of you. That’s all. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

  She couldn’t help the wry smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth. “I’m glad you like him, but we sort of broke up. So I’ll be back to taking care of myself again. And mom.”

  “No shit?” He actually looked disappointed. “It was because of mom, wasn’t it?”

  “No. Look, can we not talk about Lucas?”

  “Don’t tell me you broke up with him.”

  “Jason.” Her exacerbation and exhaustion drew his name out as a warning.

  He put a hand up. “Got it. I’ll just say this and then I’ll drop it. Go get him back. Don’t let this shit with mom break you guys up.”

  “It’s not. It isn’t.” But it was and she knew he could read it from her expression. “Thanks for dropping mom off. You can go home now.”

  “I’m spending the rest of the night here. In the morning we’re taking mom to a hospital. I’m done with this, Mi, and so are you.”

  “Jason.” Panic pitched her voice higher than she it meant to.

  “I’m doing it and this time you’re not going to stop me. She could have killed you. That’s all I’ve thought about since you dropped her off. What if I leave her here alone with you and she goes for you again? There’s no one here to stop her. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you, Mi.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “Why not? What the fuck is going on with you that you can’t see how sick she is? Even your Neanderthal of a boyfriend can see it. Hell, half my neighbors can see it. Why can’t you?”

  “I do see it!”

  “Then what the fuck, Mi?”

  She’d gotten so used to seeing that look on his face, she hardly noticed it anymore—disgust, mixed with pity and impatience.

  “I’m doing it and you’re not stopping me,” he said with a new forcefulness and sense of purpose.

  “Jas, please.”

  “That’s not going to work on me anymore. I’m doing this.” He stood up and shoved the chair back under the table.

  “Don’t.” She went to him, gripping the front of his shirt with both hands. “I can’t protect you if you do this.”

  “What are you talking about, protect me? Protect me from what? You’re the one who needs protecting. She tried to fucking kill you.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  He pried her hands from his shirt, taking them in both of his. “Then make me.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  This was it. The moment Mi feared most and wanted least. She stood toe to toe with her brother who was almost a foot taller and just as stubborn as she was. Something new and ironic set his features in stern lines and flowed through his voice like an angry river—a sense of responsibility.

  “I don’t need protecting, Mi. You do.”

  She shook free from his hands. “I’m fine. I’ve been alone, dealing with mom for years.”

  “Maybe so and that’s on me. But I’m here now to fix that.”

  “What’s going on with you? Why the sudden change?”

  “Let’s just say that I got schooled by an outsider on how I’m not living up to my responsibilities to my family.”

  Lucas. Had to be. He must have said something to Jason at his apartment while Mi was out of the room. “What did Lucas say to you?”

  “Stop treating me like a kid. What do you think you’d be protecting me from? What could mom say or do that could hurt me?”

  He wasn’t going to let it drop. Perhaps he had changed. He certainly seemed different, standing up to her, as he’d never done before. Whatever change had occurred in him either because of what their mother did or what Lucas said was definitely for the better. He wasn’t going to back down. Pride swelled within her, making her smile fondly at him.

  “What are you grinning at me like that for?” he asked.

  “I really like this side of you, that’s all.”

  “Whatever.”

  He pulled the chair out again and dropped down into it, stretching his long legs out in front of him. She had the strongest urge to ruffle his hair as she used to when he was a boy. But he wasn’t a boy anymore. Lucas was right. Jason was a man now and needed to be treated that way. She’d failed him when he was a child. She wouldn’t fail him now. She grabbed some mugs and poured two cups of coffee. She sat them on the table and retrieved the cream, setting it next to the sugar bowl and cups of coffee.

  Jason watched her, sitting up straighter in his chair as she sat down at the table with him.

  “I need to tell y
ou some things, but before I do I want you to know that I did the best by you as I could, the best I knew how. I know I made a lot of mistakes and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day.” She focused on her clenched hands on the table.

  He placed his hand over hers. “I know that, Mi,” he said gently. “You’re the only one I had to depend on. You saved me a thousand times. I know I’ve been a jerk to you. I’m sorry.” He slid his hands back and picked up his coffee, but didn’t drink. He stared into the dark liquid as though it was a crystal ball. “We both got screwed, but you especially, having to take care of an annoying kid, a baby, and a crazy mom. I couldn’t do anything to help back then, but I can help now. So whatever you have to tell me, I can take it.”

  She could see that he could or at least he wanted to. She hoped he’d feel the same after she turned his life upside down. “It has to do with the night Ethan died.”

  He didn’t seem surprised or make any other indication about how he felt as she told him everything, leaving nothing out. When she got to the part about his sleepwalking with Ethan in his arms, he just nodded along, absorbing her words as truth. The old Jason might have thrown up excuses or railed back, wanting to knock back the attention from himself. This quiet, contemplative Jason threw her at first until she realized how much she’d needed him to be just like this.

  By the time she finished, he stared straight at her, his jaw flexing. His coffee had grown cold, but he still held onto the mug with both hands.

  “Now you know why I did what I did with mom,” she said. “And why we can’t take her to a hospital tomorrow or ever.”

  “That’s still happening.”

  “Jason, no.”

  “I said no more, Mi, and I meant it. This doesn’t change anything. Maybe she’ll say something, maybe she won’t. Either way, it’s over. I can’t let you sacrifice your life anymore. You’re not my shield. I’ll take what I’ve got coming.”

  He pushed the mug away, rising to his feet. “I can never repay what you’ve done for me. For mom and Ethan too. But I can start by taking care of mom. Go get your life back, Mi. Go think of yourself first for once. And for fuck’s sake, go make up with that asshole, Lucas, if he’s who you want. I can take care of myself. Thank you, but I don’t need you to protect me anymore.”

  She stood up too. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “Yeah, I do.” He took her by the shoulders with hands that shook. “This is over, Mi. Let me do this. I need to do this for you. I need to do this for mom and for me.” He cleared his throat, fighting back the emotion and tears shining in his eyes. “Mi, please.” He echoed the words she’d always used on him to get him to do what she wanted.

  “I don’t know whether I should hug you or kick your ass,” she said without any real heat.

  “Come here.” He wrapped her in a hug. His body felt foreign to her and she realized she couldn’t remember the last time they’d really hugged.

  They parted and he pulled a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket. “I did some research on hospitals. I circled a couple of places we could try. Have a look and let me know what you think.”

  She was so dumbfounded, she couldn’t speak just stare up at him as though she’d never seen him before. And maybe she hadn’t. He’d finally grown into a man she could rely on to do the right thing.

  “Good night.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead.

  She watched him walk down the hall and poke his head in to check on their mom before heading to the bathroom at the end of the hall. She fell heavily into the chair and unfolded the paper. He’d printed it off a computer, a list of hospitals in and around Dallas. She still couldn’t believe the change in her brother.

  She fingered the bruises and scratches on her neck. A blessing in disguise? Maybe. But she couldn’t help being afraid for them all. What would happen to their mother? Would she talk about the night Ethan died? Would she finally get the help she needed and become the mother she and Jason should have had?

  Smoothing the paper out on the tabletop, she realized the wish she’d sent out before falling asleep might really have a chance of coming true.

  *****

  Lucas hung up the phone with a sense of purpose he hadn’t felt since leaving the Navy. He and Malcolm were starting their own business, an offshoot of Malcolm’s private investigation firm that would branch out into security consulting and protection services. He’d just gotten off the phone with a former SEAL buddy of his who had agreed to work for their new company. It was all coming together.

  He’d spent the past few weeks working on this new venture. After a long, difficult conversation he had finally gotten Abuelita to agree to let Carmen continue running the company. She knew it best and had taken it in a new direction that would be very profitable for them all. Now he was free to pursue his own business, something he hadn’t known he’d wanted to do.

  The security breach at his apartment building that had allowed Doyle Gann to get to Mi had haunted Lucas. He’d taken that failure personally, had dogged Detective Rolls until he’d figured out exactly what had happened. Gann had used Lucas’s neighbor’s key card to get into the building and with a few tweaks, into Lucas’s apartment. Lucas had taken the information Rolls had given him and had studied the security system, which led to the discovery of the flaws that had allowed Gann access.

  Saving the document of proposal he’d been working on for his first potential client, Lucas closed his laptop. His training and knowledge was being put to good use with this new venture. He now had everything. A new career, a new sense of purpose, and a new business. Yeah, he had everything. Everything except the one thing he wanted most—Mi.

  She hadn’t called, hadn’t stopped by to pick up any of her stuff. He’d heard from Cal that the show had begun taping again in a new studio. The sick fuck that he was, he’d actually tuned in to the show every night at two in the morning just to see her. He could have DVR’d it, but no, he had to see it as it aired as though it was a live broadcast and hadn’t been taped earlier in the day. She looked good.

  Who was he kidding? She looked amazing, beautiful. He found himself staring at her image, remembering how they’d been together. How they’d ended things. He wondered if she was pregnant and if she was, would she tell him? He rubbed his thigh, wishing he had DVR’d at least one of her shows so he could watch it right now.

  Fuck.

  He slid the file Malcolm had dropped off to him a few days ago toward himself. He hadn’t given Mi much of anything, but he could give her this. Inside were copies of the police and coroner’s reports on Ethan’s death. There was no new information in the coroner’s report. The police report was another matter. Mi deserved to know what was in it. He should call her, invite her over, and show it to her.

  He picked up his phone as he’d done a dozen or more times since she’d left the hotel, intending to do just that, then changed his mind and set it back down. He went to the kitchen instead and grabbed himself a beer to sit down in front of the TV to watch the Ranger game. He clicked the TV on and flipped through the channels. The beer was cold and just right after the long day he’d had.

  “Got another one of those for me?” a familiar voice asked.

  He jumped up and spun around nearly dropping his beer. Mi stood just inside the entryway to the living room with the cat carrier in her hand. She looked even better than she had on her show. He drank her in, noting the bruising around her neck had faded. Her hair hung long and loose around her shoulders. Her eyes, Jesus fuck, her eyes glowed amber, reflecting the golden light of sunset coming in through the windows.

  He swallowed hard, willing his mouth to form words. “You stole my cat.” That was not what he’d intended his first words to her to be after all this time. Idiot.

  She offered up the carrier. “I brought him back.”

  He stood rooted to the floor like a giant awkward oaf, staring at her as though she was a mirage. “I see.”

  She glanced at the couch, then at
him. “You kept my furniture.”

  “Yeah. I guess I did.”

  She took a couple of steps closer so that they were separated by nothing more than the depth of the sofa. She leaned over and sat the carrier down on the cushions. When she straightened she seemed nervous, biting her lower lip. “I just thought you should know that I’m not pregnant.”

  “Okay.” He couldn’t keep his disappointment from showing either on his face or in words. He’d more than hoped, he’d dreamed. He knew she saw it by the way her gaze slid toward the television.

  “Well, that’s all I really had to say. I guess I’ll go now.” She nodded toward the TV. “Enjoy your game.”

  “Wait!” He came around to her side of the couch. “I’ll get you that beer.”

  “All right.”

  He made it to the kitchen and back in record time. He handed her the beer, feeling like a nervous teenager on his first date. “Have seat.”

  They rounded the couch from opposite sides. He put the cat carrier on the floor and opened the door. Gooch hissed at him, then bounded off, probably to piss on his bathroom rug like he used to do. Sitting a foot away from her after all this time did something funny to his stomach. He set his beer down on the coffee table and turned to her.

  “Cal tells me you’re back filming the show. How’s it going?”

  She smoothed her thumb over the label on the bottle, giving it all of her attention. “It’s different. I really miss Davy and Tracey, too, although I know I shouldn’t. Crosby isn’t the same. He’s quieter if you can believe it. I guess none of us will be the same.” She gave a helpless shrug. “I guess that’s normal.”

  “How are your mom and Jason?”

  “They’re good. Mom won’t ever be normal, but she’s doing okay. She’ll likely need to be in a psychiatric facility the rest of her life.” She looked at him then and he got that punch in the stomach when their gazes connected. “We found a hospital that would take her full time. It was Jason’s idea. He’s changed. I guess I have you to thank for that.”

  “Me? How’s that?”

  “He said, and I quote: I got schooled by an outsider on how I’m not living up to my responsibilities to my family. I’m guessing that outsider is you. So thanks.”