by Erika Wilde
“And look at everything you’ve done for me,” Tori added, a smile on her pretty face. “You gave me the strength I needed to believe in myself when I thought all hope was lost. And yes, I do feel indebted to you, but it’s a good kind of obligation because I plan to repay you in friendship and by making you proud of me and what I do with my life.”
Kerri pressed two fingers to her lips, overwhelmed by Tori’s declaration and by a tidal wave of emotion that seemed to shake her to the very core. To know that she’d had such a profound effect on Tori’s life was humbling. To realize what a strong woman Tori had become as a result of her support was an extraordinary feeling.
Tori grabbed her free hand, her gaze soft and imploring as it latched onto hers. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is no control issue with Ian, except maybe in your mind because of what you’ve been through in your past.”
Kerri searched the other woman’s gaze, seeing so much internal strength in Tori despite the ordeal she’d been through with her soon-to-be ex-husband. Witnessing how different Tori was from her own mother who’d gone through a similar experience was sobering for Kerri. The fortitude in Tori was like a bright, shining beacon, while Kerri was still cowering from emotional fears and weaknesses she’d always vowed would never dominate her life.
Kerri shook her head. How funny that she’d been the one to lend support to Tori all these months, and now it was her friend giving back to her when she needed it the most. “When did you get so smart?”
Tori squeezed her hand one last time before letting go. “When I realized that I can’t let my fears stop me from being happy. I did that for too many years with Rick, and while I might be cautious when it comes to certain things, I also know that I have to keep an open mind. Maybe you need to do the same. If you let him, Ian could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Ian was the best thing that had ever happened to her. The knowledge leapt from the depths of her soul, strong and sure, along with the love for him she’d been denying for days. He might have started out as a sexy mysterious caller, but somewhere along the way he’d become her lover and best friend. She’d shared more about herself, had opened herself up to him in ways that no other person had ever glimpsed, and he’d accepted her the way she was, flaws and all. Even now, with his silence, he was accepting her and supporting the decision she felt she’d needed to make, no matter what it had cost him personally.
He’d let her walk away. No demands. No ultimatums. And in that glorious moment she knew Ian would never hold her back from her goals and dreams. He’d only enhance everything about her life.
She’d spent the weekend perusing her volumes on sex and relationships for a subject for tomorrow night’s show, and now she knew exactly what it would be. But this time, there was no textbook to help her on this particular topic she’d address on the air and to Ian. All she had was her heart, soul, and her love for him to guide her.
She prayed that was enough.
* * *
“This is Kerri McCree, and you’re listening to Heat Waves on WTLK,” she said, greeting her listeners for her Monday night show. “It looks like we’re finally in for some cooler weather than we’ve had all summer, which is a good thing because it’s been hot and intense for a lot of us, on and off the air.”
Kerri inhaled deeply, trying to calm the riot of nerves fluttering in her stomach. She was addressing her audience, but her words were meant for one man alone, and she hoped that he was out there listening to her tonight, that he’d realize her entire show was dedicated to him, their relationship and their future together. If he still wanted her in his life after the way she’d rejected his love.
Trying not to dwell on that devastating possibility, she glanced to the booth next to hers at Carly, who offered an encouraging smile. Kerri held tight to her courage and her belief in Ian, in them, and continued.
“For the past few weeks we’ve talked about every aspect of sex and dating and what attracts men and women to each other, which has been fun and enlightening, even for me. I’ve learned just how powerful and intense an initial attraction can be with the right person and how being that special someone can open you up to all kinds of physical desires and emotional needs. I’ve discovered that mind sex and foreplay can be erotic and incredibly arousing, and that a woman can have multiple orgasms with the kind of partner who puts her pleasure before his own,” she said with a thread of amusement in her tone.
“I’ve come to realize that while sex and orgasms can be fun and satisfying, making love is one of the most emotional, passionate things that can happen between a man and a woman. And then there’s love. For some of us that closeness and intimacy comes easily. For others it’s a struggle to allow those emotions to surface when we’ve been hurt in the past or believe that love comes with certain expectations.”
She grew quiet for a few heartbeats, letting her listeners absorb her comments and relate to them in their own way. “We’ve covered attraction, dating and sex over the past month, and as all of you who’ve been following the sexy city nights campaign know, Ian and I have become somewhat of an item. You’ve enjoyed hearing about our dates and have been a part of our relationship from the very beginning. I know most of you are wondering why Ian hasn’t been on the air with me lately, which brings me to tonight’s topic.”
She shifted restlessly in her seat, pushing all doubts and uncertainties from her mind in order to concentrate on the most important part of her show—convincing Ian that she wanted to try to make a relationship work with him. He alone would comprehend the underlying message in her words—he understood her so well.
“I thought we could talk about what happens when personal fears get in the way of a healthy, committed relationship,” she said, prepared to open up in ways that would leave her vulnerable and in doing so would allow her to face her greatest fears. “I’m sure I’m not the only person who harbors insecurities, but mine do run deep, to the point that I let them rule my heart and emotions. I’ve been afraid to trust, afraid to believe, and I’ve made assumptions that were not only wrong but hurt the one person who gave me so much and never once demanded anything from me in return.”
She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear with a trembling hand. “So, I guess the big question would be, how do you make it up to someone that you really love when you’ve screwed up?” she asked her listeners, her voice soft and husky with regret. “How do you convince him that you want a second chance to make a relationship work and are willing to meet him or her halfway? That you don’t want to look elsewhere for what’s right in front of you? Give me a call and let me know what you think.”
Kerri broke for a commercial while Carly screened the incoming calls. The phone lines lit up, and her computer monitor flashed the names of the callers. No doubt her listeners would have all kinds of advice for her, and while her request had been made in part for fun, she’d never been more serious about what to do about Ian and how to gain his forgiveness.
Taking a quick drink of water to quench her dry throat, she hit the first line and welcomed the caller to the show. “Hi, Ann, what’s your suggestion?”
“How about that old, traditional expression of love?” the other woman said. “Plan a romantic evening, then send him eleven roses and keep the twelfth one to give to him when you see him.”
“That’s a nice idea,” Kerri said, though it didn’t work for her, personally. She moved on to the next caller. “Thanks for calling Heat Waves, Bea. You’re on the air.”
“Bake him some cookies or a pie,” the older woman said in a very grandmotherly kind of voice. “George swears that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. We’ve been married for over fifty years, and anytime we’ve gotten into a tiff I just bake him some kind of treat and all is forgiven.”
Kerri smiled at the sweet sentiment. “George is a very lucky man. Unfortunately, I’m afraid my attempts at baking would just make things worse between me and Ian.”
In the soundpr
oof studio next to hers, she saw Carly snicker, knowing cooking or baking wasn’t her forte. Making a face at her friend, she picked up the next line.
“Surprise him with a night of hot sex,” Grant recommended. “Ask any guy and he’ll tell you that make-up sex is the best!”
Kerri rolled her eyes. “Make-up sex is an easy way out,” she argued. “I’m looking for something with a bit more depth and emotion to it.”
“How about sending Ian a gorilla singing telegram along with a box of chocolates and a note that reads, ‘I’m ape over you’?” another caller suggested.
Kerri laughed and shook her head. “Ah, that’s very clever, but I think this is something I need to do in person, and I’d rather not do it in a gorilla costume.”
“You can always show up at his office wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile,” a man offered. “A guy will listen to anything a naked woman has to say.”
“I’ll keep that in mind for future reference.” The calls continued for the next half hour, and Kerri enjoyed all the fun, lighthearted and crazy ideas everyone felt compelled to share. But no one’s advice struck a chord within her as she’d hoped. She kept holding out for something more genuine and sincere.
Line three blinked, and Kerri looked at her monitor to gauge the caller’s identity. There was no name on the screen. She glanced Carly’s way, but she was busy doing something else and Kerri couldn’t get her attention to point out the problem. Figuring Carly must have just forgotten to type the name into the system, she pressed the line and greeted the caller. “Thank you for calling Heat Waves. I’m desperate for some real, solid advice. Something simple yet effective. How should I tell the man I care about that I messed up and will do anything to make things right again?”
“The answer is easy,” a rich, familiar masculine voice replied. “How about just be honest and tell him what’s in your heart?”
Kerri’s pulse quickened as Ian’s voice drifted out of the intercom, and that aching, painful longing that had taken up residence within her grew to startling proportions. The understanding, tenderness and caring in his voice was unmistakable. And she knew, despite everything, he still wanted her, believed in her, loved her.
She drew a shaky breath. “I think that’s the best advice I’ve heard all night.”
“I heard everything you said tonight, now tell me what’s in your heart,” he whispered, coaxing her to share this moment with her listeners, since they’d been with them from the very beginning of their relationship.
For the first time in her life, Kerri trusted someone completely—with her life, her future and her very soul. Because of that faith, because of Ian, she held nothing back. “My heart is filled with regret, for walking away and hurting you,” she said with quiet honesty. “My heart is overflowing with a tenderness I’ve never, ever experienced before, but I never want the feeling to end. My heart is nothing without you in my life.”
“Do you believe in me?” he asked.
She nodded to herself, no longer clinging to the uncertainties and doubts that had ruled her emotions for too long. “Just as much as you believe in everything I do, and everything I am.”
“Do you need me?” he asked, husky emotion deepening his voice.
Oh, yes, she most definitely needed this man. “I need your support, your encouragement, and the way you understand me better than I know myself sometimes. I need you to remind me that it’s okay to be a little scared sometimes and that you’ll always be there for me. I need you in my life, Ian.”
“Do you love me?”
“In ways that are frightening, but oh, so wonderful.” She blinked back the well of tears gathering in her eyes. “I don’t want to cling to my past or fear the future. I want what’s right in front of me, and I won’t settle for less.”
“I take it that means you’ve decided to stay in Chicago, and that you don’t mind me being your new boss?”
She laughed throatily, wondering how she ever thought she could leave this man behind when he was such an integral part of who she was. “I’m staying in Chicago, because it’s the only choice I ever could have made. As for you being my new boss…we’ll have to discuss what kind of perks and benefits you offer.”
“How’s this for starters?” The line disconnected just as the door to her studio opened.
Startled, Kerri stood up as Ian entered the room, unable to believe he’d been there at the station the entire time they’d been on the air. She could only guess that he’d made the trip over as soon as he’d heard what tonight’s topic was all about. Him. Them. Her wanting him. He tucked his cell phone into his pocket, came around the console separating them and stopped in front of her.
With a wicked grin, he framed her face in his hands and lowered his head and kissed her, long and slow and deep. A “perk” designed to sway her. His hot, aroused body pressed her up against the console, and she welcomed his solid weight as his lips consumed hers. She melted into him, lost in the heat of his mouth, the emotion in his kiss, the tenderness of his touch. Everything that was now hers, and always would be. When he finally let her up for air she blushed, though no one but Ian could see the high color rise in her cheeks.
“Um, we’re still on the air,” she told him, making sure he realized that the city of Chicago was listening in on them.
“Good,” he said, smoothing his hands down her back and over her bottom, making their position a more intimate one. “Because I want everyone to know how much I love you, and to make sure that they stay tuned for more sexy city nights to come.”
She sighed as he dipped his head and nuzzled her neck, and she threaded her fingers through his thick, silky hair. “Aah, another perk.” Sleeping and working with the boss was going to be a whole lot of fun, she decided.
He met her gaze again, his need for her shining in his vibrant green eyes. “When you’re ready, will you marry me?”
He was giving her time. Time she no longer needed because a day, week, month or year wouldn’t change the way she felt about him. She slid her fingers along his jaw as indescribable happiness bubbled within her, and it was a feeling she embraced wholeheartedly.
“I’m ready now,” she said.
Two months later, she made good on that promise as they recited their wedding vows surrounded by family and friends…and with the city of Chicago listening in on the joyous occasion that was broadcasted live on Heat Waves.
* * *
Thank you for reading TURNING UP THE HEAT. I hope you enjoyed Ian and Kerri’s story!
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Even after nearly twenty years of marriage, Jillian Noble is still madly in love with her sexy-as-sin husband, Dean. But now that their two sons are grown and it’s just the two of them alone again, there’s something that Jillian wants from her husband. Something he’s been holding back since the day they met—the dominant man he rarely lets show.
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