by Lynn Rush
I’d checked their stats from the regionals that started this weekend, and I had to do a double take. They’d barely made it to the State Competition. I wasn’t able to watch more than a period of the game last night, but it was enough to see things were not going well.
Kind of like they weren’t going well here.
Preparing for my first jump, I flipped around backward and held my foot out.
Brodie.
I dug my toe pick into the ice, but my timing was off. Tripping over my own skates, I hit the ice. Hard.
“Willow, where’s your head?” Coach River yelled. “You’re all over the place.”
“Sorry, Coach.”
“I think we should call it for today.” She made a note on her clipboard, her lips forming a tight line.
I picked myself up off the ice and skated toward the door leading to the locker rooms.
Every part of my body ached, especially my Achilles. Not the sharp, biting pain from when I tore it, but more of a sore, nagging sensation that I had a feeling would be with me as long as I was training and competing.
The locker room was abuzz with skaters. Twenty of us had accepted the invite to join.
Nikki, a girl from Indiana, gave me a shrug. “You’ll get it back.”
“Thanks.” But did I want it back? Something was missing since I’d returned to figure skating full time. The rush, the comfort I used to get from nailing a routine, just felt muted somehow. I plopped onto the wooden bench separating the lockers and tugged off my skates. After wiping them down, I put on the guards and set them in my locker.
A hushed voice floated through the air from the next row over. “If she keeps falling, I’m totally taking her spot. I can’t believe the coaching staff ranked her at number two. I mean, she’s been away and playing hockey! What kind of figure skater does that?”
Heat flashed up my neck and spilled across my face.
I stomped over and came face-to-face with two girls who had been doing incredibly well on the junior circuit. “This kind of figure skater does that.”
They looked at me in horror, mouths agape.
“I got hurt. Hockey made me stronger, and it improved my reflexes.” I knew I didn’t need to justify myself to these girls, but standing up for myself felt good.
“Reflexes? Is that why you keep falling on your ass?”
I whipped around. “Ariel. I was wondering when you’d show up.”
A girl who had nearly beaten me in the last competition I skated in looked me up and down.
“How’s the Achilles?” She grinned.
“Good. How’s that silver medal from the Junior Championship? Oh, wait. You got a bronze. My bad.”
A scowl replaced her smug grin.
“Wow, how I didn’t miss this.” I turned and stomped back to my locker, my heart hammering so hard, I heard it echoing around my head.
Of course, not all the girls were like Ariel or the other two. Janae and Liv were both really nice. We’d had lunch together every day.
But, man.
The mean girls on the ice sure didn’t waste any time trying to take control. Had I been like that? Not really, though I had looked down my nose at hockey players. A ping of sadness stabbed at my chest at how I’d first reacted to Brodie when he’d asked me to cover the goal for Josiah that day back in August. Me? Hockey? What a jerk response. And boy, had they proved me wrong. They were tough, but not puck heads, like I’d always thought they were.
And, sure, at first, they were a little apprehensive of me. But except for Pax and Eric, the team had really welcomed me in. They weren’t like these backstabbing princesses here hoping I’d fall down so they could move into my spot. Hell, I’d even begun to win over Pax and Eric before I left.
As I got changed, my thoughts drifted to the team I’d left behind. Teddy’s massive grin and his ability to take out just about any defender who approached him. Nathaniel and his fast footwork and all his joking around. He was a really talented skater. Pax… Oh Pax. Even though he was a major jerk at times, he was still a solid defender.
Brodie.
The guy who had taught me everything I knew about being a goalie. The guy I’d kissed in secret every spare chance we got those few weeks we’d secretly dated. The guy I’d fallen in love with… I missed him so much it hurt, but I also missed the rush of blocking those pucks firing at me.
I missed the guys teasing me, calling me Ice Capades. My tears stung as I remembered Nathaniel always calling me that. They were like my brothers.
And I missed my family.
I slammed my locker shut and turned the lock.
Crap.
I screwed up.
I’d been forcing this. Figure skating at an Olympic level had been my dream for so long, I’d never even entertained a life without it. But I’d changed, and I knew what I needed to do to fix things, but I had to get to my room first.
Practically sprinting, I rushed back toward my dorm and swung open the door.
Where’d I put my phone?
Coach Polanski had a strict rule about phones. They weren’t allowed on the rink or in our lockers. She viewed phones as distractions.
Excitement raced through my body and caused my fingers to tremble as I tore through my room, trying to remember where I’d set it.
There it is!
I grabbed it from my dresser, then plopped to the floor and leaned against the wall beside it.
My trembling fingers flew across the screen as I searched for Coach Noah’s phone number. I tapped on his name and held my breath as the phone started to ring.
Ring.
My heart hammered.
Ring.
“Hello?”
“Coach Noah? It’s me, Willow. I made a huge mistake. I want back on the team.” I just threw it all out there, no pleasantries, no nothing.
And then it was silent.
I gulped, heat crawling up my neck. He didn’t want me back. Shit. What if the team didn’t want me back? What if—
“We need you, Willow, but the choice isn’t just up to me anymore,” he finally said. “If you want back on, it needs to be a team decision.”
I was screwed, then. The team hated me. Brodie hated me. He hadn’t replied to any of the three texts I’d sent him after we’d broken up. He rarely posted much of anything on social media these past six weeks. Jessa said he didn’t seem to smile as much as before and didn’t do much other than school, hockey, and hang with Caleb.
“Can you be back here this Friday for our first State game?”
“Yes.” As I cradled my phone, a huge weight I hadn’t even realized was there since I got to Miami finally lifted off my chest. Because he wouldn’t ask that if he didn’t think the team would agree, would he?
Didn’t matter. Even if they didn’t vote me back on, I didn’t want to stay here. I was more than just skating, and hockey showed me that. And I wanted more than skating, too. I wanted to be part of a real team. A team that didn’t have teammates trying to stab me in the back. And college. What if I went to a regular four-year college? Maybe I could even study coaching.
“I’ll be there, first thing Friday morning.”
“Good. Then we’ll bring it to a vote.”
CHAPTER
FORTY-EIGHT
Brodie
“I think I’m gonna puke,” Trevor Lee said as he stood from his seat on the bus.
He’d never been to State. I remembered my first time here, and I’d felt like puking then, too.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I pulled it out to find a message from Preach’s dad.
MR. ARMSTRONG: All good here, Caleb’s tucked in the car, and we’re headed your way for tonight’s game.
ME: Any word on Dad?
MR. ARMSTRONG: He’s good, kid. Safe, getting the help he needs. Don’t you
worry.
ME: Thanks.
It’d been just over seven weeks since my dad had been arrested. All things pointed to a super-long stay in prison, so the Armstrongs had started the process of maintaining custody of Caleb and me. What had started out temporary over Christmas was turning into permanent, especially for Caleb. I’d be eighteen soon, so I’d be fine to stay wherever, but Caleb was only eight.
I glanced out the window to my right and looked at the massive hotel. The billboard sign read Welcome, Hockey Players!
This town, much like Woodhaven, loved their hockey. Coach Raymond was here, and I had a meeting scheduled with him for later this afternoon, before the first game. Mr. Armstrong was pretty sure he was going to offer a scholarship, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. At this point, I couldn’t afford to go to college unless I got a full ride. Dad had all but cleaned out our accounts.
An overwhelming heaviness landed square on my chest, and a lump lodged in my throat. If I didn’t get some kind of hockey scholarship, college wasn’t an option for me any longer. This tournament, this team, and Caleb, this was all I had.
I eased off the cushioned seat after everyone had passed by. I followed Teddy as he lumbered along the aisle. Preach was laughing; I could hear it before I even got out of the bus.
“Come on, guys, gather up.” Coach waved us to him just outside the bus exit. “Nonstarters, grab the bags and meet us in the lobby.”
I glanced at Preach, and he shrugged. Usually, Coach was all about us going in together. Why would he ask the non-starters to carry our stuff?
“Come on!”
Preach, Josiah, Nathaniel, Teddy, Pax, and I chugged along behind Coach, up the stairs and toward the double door entrance. Two doormen opened the doors, and I nodded to them as I walked by. “Thanks!”
Inside, the floors were marble. Up ahead was the main desk where there was a line, three people deep, at each station. To the left, there was a grand stairwell up to the second floor.
“Right this way, guys.” Coach Noah waved us to follow him down a side hallway. The sign above the opening of the hallway read conference rooms.
“What the hell?” Pax said from behind me. “What’s going on?”
“No idea.”
“Some captain you are,” Nathaniel said, grinning at me.
It was only noon, so we had five hours before the first game, but usually we all met as a team, all of us, so this didn’t make any sense.
“I know. It’s scouts!” Teddy bumped into me as he pulled off his cap. “Maybe we’re all getting scholarships.”
“That makes sense.” Pax huffed. “You and I are juniors, dipshit.”
“Oh…” Teddy laughed. “Just kidding. Yeah, then I have no idea.”
We followed Coach around the corner. He pulled open a door to a small conference room called the Biola Room and held it open as we passed by.
“Holy shit,” Nathaniel said, but I couldn’t see why since I was last in line to enter. “Ice Capades.”
My heart stalled out. Literally freaking stopped.
Then my stomach hardened like I’d swallowed about fifteen hockey pucks. Nathaniel called Willow “Ice Capades.” Did that mean…?
I stepped into the room, and at the front of it, near a podium, Willow stood.
“Listen up, guys. We only have this room for a few minutes.” Coach pulled the door closed behind him and stood in front of it. “Willow has something to say.”
I found the first seat I could, and the rest of the team filled the remaining seats. We were all facing the front, where she stood, but nobody uttered a word, and she hadn’t yet met my eye.
She was wearing leggings, a long Woodhaven Hoodie, and her long black hair was in her trademark braids. Beneath the lights above her, her blue eyes lit up as they scanned each of the players. The pink scar beneath her eye crinkled as she smiled tentatively at me.
God, I’d missed that smile. It stole my breath, to the point where I had to look away. What was she doing here? My mind blanked after that. I couldn’t conjure up another coherent thought.
She cleared her throat and shifted her weight. Resting one arm on the wooden podium beside her, she stood tall.
“I made a mistake. Um…a few of them,” she dodged, glancing quickly at the coach. “And I’m here…ah…” She cleared her throat, glanced at me, then scanned the room. “I love hockey. I love you guys.”
“Yes!” Nathaniel yelled. “I knew you’d miss us. Well, me, anyway.”
Willow smiled, a light blush coloring her cheeks. “Once I got to Miami, I realized it wasn’t my dream. Yeah, I love figure skating, but it’s not who I am anymore. All I could think about when I was down there was this team, playing hockey with you guys—and winning State!”
I glanced at Preach, who sat beside me, and he looked at me with wide eyes. My gut clenched like I’d been sucker punched. Nathaniel watched Willow with a grin filling his face. He seemed fine with all this. Pax’s jaw was gritted shut and eyebrows furrowed, so I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Teddy watched Willow up there with wide eyes, but he was nodding and smiling. But Josiah, his reaction caught me by surprise the most. He was grinning and nodding as he looked at me.
“Also, I owe you all an apology. Especially you, Brodie.” She hit me with her blue-eyed gaze. “I asked you to keep my tryout a secret. I wasn’t sure anything would come of it, so I didn’t want it to get out. He wasn’t comfortable with doing that, you guys, but he did it for me anyway.” A few of the guys threw understanding looks my way.
A sense of relief loosened the tension in my neck and back. Damn, she was laying it all out there, wasn’t she?
“Then I up and left you all,” Willow continued. “I know that wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry. I…I wanted to stay with you all. But I had to go down to Miami. I had to try. For me. Little did I know, though, that once I did, I’d realize my dreams had changed. You guys are all a huge part of that. I couldn’t have realized that without seeing it through, though.”
Silence filled the room, so I was sure everyone could hear the blood raging through my body. Thudding in my ears. My heart banging against my chest. My cheeks heated as I fisted my hands beneath the table. She was here. Standing before us, the team she’d abandoned.
But she hadn’t abandoned me.
She was here now.
“Willow’s asked to play goalie this weekend.” Coach pointed at her. “Which means you guys have a decision to make.”
“Yes! So much yes!” Nathaniel yelled.
Pax punched his shoulder. “Shut up, asshole. Let Coach talk.”
“You’ll each get your vote. You guys decide, as a team, if you’re wanting her to start as your goalie in tonight’s game.”
“Hell to the yes!” Nathaniel jumped up and ran over to Willow. He wrapped his long arms around her, nearly knocking over the podium in the process. “I knew you’d be back, Willow. I just knew it. I vote yes!”
“Ooph,” Willow said with a massive smile on her face.
“For real, Willow? You’re okay with giving up figure skating?” Teddy asked.
She nodded, the smile filling her face even more. She looked at peace with herself. With her decision.
“I vote yes,” Teddy said as he nodded, then looked at Josiah. “But I think Josiah’s vote should count for double or triple. It’s his spot.”
“I don’t know, Sequins.” Pax shook his head. “That was some fu—messed-up crap you pulled on us. And with Brodie…” He trailed off, looking surreptitiously over at Coach. “Not cool.”
“I get why she left, though,” Teddy said, clearly trying to get us off the unsaid subject of our secret relationship. “She was—”
“Let me finish, dude.” Pax flipped Teddy off. “I vote yes.”
I whipped my head around at that one, along with Coach and the rest of the guys
. Pax wanted her on the team? Holy shit. I knew he’d been coming around to the idea of her, after resisting it pretty violently in the beginning, but to be one of the first ones to say yes now?
“Dang,” Preach whispered beside me.
“Josiah?” Coach asked.
“I’m honestly all for it,” Josiah said. “Willow. You’re the shit. I wanna win, and to tell you the truth, I’m not all that thrilled about facing off against Roger the Right Hand of God when I’m this rusty.”
“Josiah and I will be here next year,” Pax said. “You’ll nail it then, man.”
Nathaniel chuckled, then fell to the floor beside Willow in a fake faint. “I think I just saw a pig flying by the window. Did you guys see it?”
Pax flipped Nathaniel off, then dipped his head in Willow’s direction. “Sorry for being such an asshat.”
Willow wiped a tear away from her eye, then looked up at me.
“Come on, Brodie. Make it unanimous,” Preach said. “Because you know I’m a yes.”
I noticed my teammates weren’t saying anything about my and Willow’s dating, probably because Coach was in the room. But, for the most part, they all seemed to be over the fact that she’d up and left us.
Weren’t they hurt by that? I mean, she’d up and left.
Then again, she did just show up here and make a plea to the team. She’d left Miami and had obviously been in touch with Coach before doing this. That took guts. This girl wasn’t scared of anything. She took charge when she needed to.
But was I okay with her playing goalie again? This was State, after all. She hadn’t been practicing with us for seven weeks like Josiah had been.
“Well, Brodie?” Coach said. “What’s it going to be?”
CHAPTER
FORTY-NINE
Willow
Eyes laser-focused, I prepared for the Jupiter Bulldogs’ leading scorer. He raced down the ice, nailing Pax in the chest with his elbow.
Bringing his stick back, he slapped the puck so hard, I was sure flames would shoot out the back.
The puck zinged toward the lower right corner of the net. Falling to my knees, I dove to the right, desperately trying to block the shot.