by Lila Rose
Down and Out Copyright © 2016 by Lila Rose
All rights reserved. No part of this e-book may be used or reproduced in any written, electronic, recorded, or photocopied format without the permission from the author as allowed under the terms and conditions with which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
Down and Out is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and places found in this book are either from the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to persons live or dead, actual events, locations, or organizations is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Editing & Formatting: Hot Tree Editing
Photographer: Wander Book Club
Cover Designer: Wrapped Pages
ISBN: 978-0-9944525-5-9
Acknowledgements
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Epilogue
More from the Author
Lila Recommends
Acknowledgements
Craig and our two monsters, thank you for your help in cleaning, cooking, and keeping me going when times get busy.
Lindsey Lawson, for your help right from the start.
Becky and her team at Hot Tree Editing and Donna at Hot Tree Promotions, thank you for all your hard work with Down and Out.
Justine Littleton, for telling me how it is in her unique way.
TL Smith, I freakin’ cherish the friendship we have, and I’m glad I have you to travel with.
Julie King and Justine Littleton, for the title Down and Out.
Charlene Brotherston, for suggesting Julian and Mattie’s child’s name!
Dedication
To you, the reader, thank you for taking a chance on Down and Out.
Thank you to my loyal Hawks readers. I hope I can always bring you something you’ll enjoy. xx
Prologue
Dive
Simone took my breath away the first time I laid eyes on her in the bar. I wanted nothing more than her sexy-as-hell legs wrapped around my waist and to be buried deep inside her. That night she granted me a taste. A kiss that blew my mind and nearly my load. From then on, I was addicted.
Then I went and fucked it all up when she wouldn’t fall for my plays straight away. We went on a couple of dates, and my cock led my brain, not for the first time, so when she didn’t put out for me after the third date, I saw it as her playin’ mind fuckin’ games and considered her a tease.
Even if my brain, real brain not my knob, told me she wasn’t like that, I still sought a drenched hole to sink into. When she found out, she told me to fuck off. Apparently, she’d known I was a player, so when we’d started out, she’d been giving me a chance to prove myself by dating her and staying loyal. I screwed it all up because of my dick.
When I realised I liked her a hell of a lot more than what I’d thought, it was too late. My mind seemed obsessed with her, so I let her lick her wounds for a month, and then I set out to make her mine. I had to convince her my doggin’ days were done.
I also prayed I could keep it in my pants until she was willing to spread her legs for me.
The only problem was I loved sex. I fuckin’ craved it. I had to have it, if I could, for morning, lunch, and dinner. I wished the taste of pussy was on my tongue all day long. The feelin’ of getting off was spectacular. Hell, I looked forward to shootin’ my load out every time because the peaceful feeling of release was a high.
Sex was my drug, and I couldn’t get enough.
How-fuckin’-ever, I had to be goddamn proud of myself. While I stalked Simone for a month, I managed for my hand to become best friends with my dick. Never had I used so much lube in my life because I didn’t want to get rash burns from rubbing it off too many times.
Simone soon found out I was serious about her. She couldn’t not see it since it stared her in the face every time she turned. I’d become her stalker. Everywhere she went, I was there with a wink, a smile, and some smart-arsed comment.
It went on for a good couple of months.
After her best friend Josie went through what she did with her dad and then with Pick nearly getting killed, I thought she’d give me the chance to comfort her and, in a way, instil myself in her heart where she couldn’t dislodge me. It didn’t work.
It wasn’t until four months before Willow showed up in my best mate’s life that I finally had a breakthrough with Simone.
The day would forever be cemented in my brain because it was the day I used my best line on my woman. She was standing in line in her favourite coffee place before her classes started. She looked tired, more than usual, but still fuckin’ stunning. I walked in and up behind her. When I placed my chin on her shoulder, she tensed a moment until her chest raised in a deep inhale. She relaxed immediately, leaning back into me and waited for whatever I was gonna say.
It’d been like that for the last month. Her body finally craved my touch. Both her smirk and giggle told me I was wearing her down. My charm was the shit, and fina-fuckin’-lly, it was working.
Little did I know my next words, for some stupid reason, would be what worked to get her back in my life and bed. I nipped at her earlobe before whispering, “If I got to my hands and knees, would you milk me like a cow?”
Her laughter was loud, free, and full of humour. She turned, wrapped her arms around my neck, and pulled me in for a dick-hardening kiss.
When she pulled back, I grinned like a fool. “If that was all it took, I would have said some other dumb shit a long time ago.”
She giggled, patted my cheek, and said, “Everything you say is dumb shit. But I’m finding myself becoming addicted to it.”
“Thank fuck, ‘cause I’ve laid my best moves out just for you, woman.”
She snorted. “Well, if those have been your best moves, I better show you how much I appreciate your idiocy.”
I pouted and whimpered, “And I would appreciate you showing me just how much you adore whatever comes outta my mouth.”
Her expression changed. My heart dipped when her carefree smile fled, replaced with a frown. She searched my face for something. I had no idea if she found it, but she said, “I don’t just adore what comes out of your mouth, Kalen Brooks. I adore you. Thank you for showing me I’m worth something.”
It was my turn; my smile vanished. “You always have been.”
She smirked. “Just took you a while to see it.”
Rolling my eyes, I then winked. “Never said I was the smartest outta the bunch.”
She giggled. “Oh, I know that.”
“Cheeky wench.” I smacked her arse.
A throat cleared behind us. “You two going to move up and order, or stay in ev
eryone’s way and keep making us sick?”
Tensing, I looked over my shoulder and glared. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want since I got my woman back in my life. Just because you ain’t gettin’ any, don’t be a dick about it.”
The dude’s hands came up in front of him. His eyes widened. “All good, keep doing what you’re doing.”
“I will,” I snarled.
“I can’t,” Simone said. I looked to her as her lips touched mine, and then she stepped back. “I have to get to class anyway. You go, and I’ll see you later.”
Raising a brow, I asked, “My place? I’ll cook.”
Her little chuckle was sweet and caused my dick to grow harder. “How about I bring takeaway? I’ve heard about your cooking. I don’t want food poisoning.”
Hell, fuck Pick for catching me throwin’ my guts up after I ate bad shellfish. The bastard was quick to tell everyone and no doubt, his woman told Simone.
“As long as you come, I don’t give a fuck what we eat.”
She grinned cheekily. “Oh, I do hope to come.”
Groaning, I kissed her hard once and walked out before I had my pants down trying to stick my dick in her in any way I could.
As I left the café, I seemed to have a new spring in my step. Fuck, if that was what being in love was about, I was all for it. Shit, I couldn’t stop smiling like a tool. But hell, if anyone said anything, I’d tell them where to go.
I was happy.
Finally, fuckin’ happy.
Since it was my day off, from there, I went straight home to clean the pigsty.
The garage Hawks owned off the compound was busy. Even though Pick and Billy had finally started after Josie’s shit had gone down, it was still bustling with customers, new and old. Which explained why my house was filthy.
At around seven, Simone turned up with pizza. It was great to see her in my house, making herself at home because one day, I could see her moving in and all her girl shit laying around.
After we had eaten, we sat our arses down in the living room. I didn’t have much in the house. It was a true man’s place. It included the main things I needed: a TV, a couch, a bed, and a bathroom. But Simone didn’t seem to care; she curled up beside me while we watched random stuff on the TV in between talking.
“You’re staying the night,” I ordered.
“Sounds like the perfect plan.” She grinned.
For five months, things were fuckin’ amazing.
We were in love.
We told each other that every night when she’d come by to stay.
Only time wasn’t on our side. She was busy with uni, and I was busy with work. We were both tired, but every night she stayed, I made sure my woman knew how I felt about her.
Five months, I had her in my life before it went to shit. I’d known something was wrong when she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about us. No one knew of our relationship. She wanted to keep it a secret to see how things went. I understood because I’d been the one to fuck it up the first time. Still, she knew I was all in, but it appeared she wasn’t for some reason.
It was a month after Willow turned up, and her thing with Dodge went down that shit changed. I was sure when Willow moved in, she knew someone was sneaking into the house and my bed. Fuck, it made me feel like a cheap whore, but I did it for Simone. I kept our relationship a secret for her, and then I got nothing. One night she didn’t show, and I didn’t know what had happened. If I’d done something.
I tried to fight for my woman. I rang her. I went to her place. I asked Josie; she didn’t have a clue. I asked Nary, who’d moved in with her, but none of them knew what was going on. She’d been spending more time with her family than at the house with Nary. In the end, she even avoided Josie.
It went on for five months.
And then my life, my heart, every-fucking-thing went down the drain.
Chapter One
Dive
My head was under the hood of a car in the Hawks garage when my phone rang. I ignored it and kept doing what I was doing, thinking they could leave a message because the client was gonna be back later that day to pick up the piece-of-shit car. Then my thoughts drifted over to hurting Willow for even booking the car in the first place. However, she was a sucker for a sad case, and the old woman had talked Willow into taking her shit car in for a service. It needed more than a service; it needed to be put down.
My phone rang again.
Then again.
And again.
“Fuck,” I cursed, wiping my hands on the rag from my back pocket as my heart took off in my chest. Hell, I probably should have answered it anyway in case it had something to do with the fuckhead Baxter, but all my brothers were at the garage workin’ alongside me, so nothing bad could have happened.
My heart slowed.
Just as it started ringing again, I answered with, “Yo.”
“Josie, no,” Simone yelled in the background. Again, my heart sped up as I tensed, my jaw clenching in worry.
“Josie, what’s goin’ on?” I clipped roughly. Both Pick and Billy, Josie’s men, stopped what they were doin’ and came towards me.
“Dive, y-you need to come to Simone’s place, right now. She has something to tell you.” Her voice was soft and quivered at the end.
Christ. If someone had hurt Simone, I’d stab the fucker.
“I’m there,” I bit out, hung up, and thrust my phone in my back pocket of my jeans. Looking to the waiting men, I said, “Josie’s fine, but she wants me to get to Simone’s.”
“We’re comin’, just in case,” Pick said, throwing his cleaning rag to the bench next to him. I knew not to argue with him or even Billy when it came to Josie.
We made our way out the front after lettin’ Dodge know we were taking off. He nearly bitched that all of us couldn’t go until I told him about the phone call. Instead, he nodded. Concern filled his eyes before he said gruffly, “Call if you need me.”
We straddled our bikes, and they roared to life. The ride seemed to take longer than it usually would. My hands sweated the whole way; my heart thumped hard in my chest, and my teeth fucking hurt from clenching them along the way while I agonised over what in the hell could have happened. Finally, we pulled up to a stop out the front of Simone’s apartment building. We were all off at the same time, and swiftly, we made our way in and up to the second floor. Just as I was about to bang on her door, it swung open. Josie stepped out, her eyes red from crying. Stepping right up to Pick, she buried her head into his chest as Billy stepped up behind her, his body stiff, and his eyes hard with unease.
“What the fuck is going on?” I growled.
“Dive?” Simone called from inside.
Josie turned her face to me and smiled sadly. That was when I knew it was something bad. She reached out her hand and gripped my wrist, giving it a squeeze. “Go easy on her,” Josie pleaded.
With a stiff nod, I shook off her hold and stepped into the living room. Billy closed the door after me, leaving them on the other side. It was then Simone walked in from the kitchen. With red-rimmed eyes, she offered me a small, shy smile. I gave her a chin lift, and that was when I looked down.
My eyes widened, and my jaw popped open. Shock froze me in place. “You’re knocked up.” Her stomach was huge, and she waddled as she took the last steps to the couch. Slowly, she lowered herself backwards and sat.
“Before you ask, you’re the father.” She cringed as my eyes darkened on her to a glare.
My body liquefied. Clenching my hands, my knees wobbled until I steadied myself. Anger flared inside of me instead. “And you chose to tell me like this?” I seethed through clenched teeth.
She looked to her stomach and rubbed a hand over it. “I’m sorry, Kalen.”
My hands gripped my hair where I tugged on it. Then I threw my hands up in the air. I was pissed. I was fucking frustrated. None of it made sense. “Why did you disappear? Why would you do this to me when this is my kid? I could have been there for you throu
gh this. I could have helped you, supported you. But you ran, and it’s never made sense because you knew I loved you. You knew I wanted us for-fuckin’-ever. Why in the fuck did you run?”
Tears ran freely from her eyes while her bottom lip trembled, and I realised I hadn’t listened to Josie and gone easy on her. How could I, when I’d just found out I was going to be a father from a woman so selfish, she’d cut me out of the first part of everything there was to experience? How could I when the woman I loved shut me out, cut me off, and had just shit down my throat?
“Would I be here if it weren’t for Josie?”
She wiped her face and shook her head. “No.”
Pain threatened to weigh me down. My stomach flipped and then dropped in misery. Gutted. I was absolutely gutted. “Why?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t think you would want it.”
I picked up the picture frame next to me and threw it to the wall. My hands then landed on my hips so I wouldn’t grab anything else. She jumped when I roared, “How could you think that when I loved you with everything I have?”
The door behind me crashed open. “Brother?” Billy said.
“I’m fine,” I snarled. “It’s fine. Everything is fucking fine.”
As I went to walk out the door in need to calm the hell down, Simone’s pain-filled voice called, “Kalen, please. Please, I’m so sorry. I know I went about this the wrong way. But I promise I thought I was doing it to save you.” Spinning to her, I watched her struggle to stand. It was hard not to go to her and help. I still loved her, which was why her deceit was harder to take. We’d made a child together, something so precious, but she threw away my feelings. I didn’t count at all to her in this situation. Anger at her selfishness caused me to clamp my teeth together.