Down and Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter Book 3)

by Lila Rose

  “How come, um, why did you move from them?”

  Shit. Wasn’t sure I was ready for that conversation.

  “One day, I’ll head back. My life is in Caroline Springs. For now, I just needed time for me and Koda.” Taking the last gulp of beer, I leaned forward and told her, “Koda’s mum…” Fuck. “She died giving birth to him.” She gasped. Her hand went up to cover her mouth. “Thing was, I didn’t know she was pregnant until the day she gave birth to him.”

  “W-why?”

  Picking at the label on the bottle, I said, “She was sick. I knew she was tired all the time, but I thought it was stress from uni. She didn’t tell anyone she had a tumour around her heart and brain. She got pregnant with my kid because she wanted to leave something of her behind.”

  “You loved her,” she whispered. How she knew it, I had no clue. Maybe she read it on my face.

  Nodding, I said, “Yeah, I did. I had so many months with her, but I was chasing her way before that. Then she decided she wanted to protect me from seeing her sick all the time, so she left with my kid in her.”

  “So you missed out on Koda growing in her and being able to take care of her when you loved her and would have done anything for her.”

  Well, fuck. She got it in one.

  “That’s it. I was pissed for so long and mourning her at the same time. I took a lot of shit out on you, and I’m fuckin’ sorry for it.”

  She smiled shyly and shrugged. “I knew something was battling inside of you. I just thought you hated me.”

  A snort escaped, and then I said, “I doubt anyone could hate you.”

  “Oh, there have been a few.”

  Getting up, I went to the fridge to grab another beer. Turning, I asked, “Want another?”

  She lifted hers, shaking it. “I still have half, and besides, I have to be up and ready early for Koda. Um, how are you liking work?”

  “S’okay,” I said, sitting down. “Keeps me busy. For a while there, I hated it because it kept me away from Koda, but I realised I was becoming too protective of him.”

  “Worried something would happen to him as well?”

  “Yeah, I was. To the point, I was looking up homeschooling him. Wouldn’t surprise me if I tried to get one of those bubbles for him to live in.” She giggled. “No joke, even a sumo suit was a possibility. Then, I wouldn’t want him picked on, so I’d have to get one for myself and beat any fucker who said shit.”

  She burst out laughing. “Stop,” she begged. “I keep picturing it,” she managed through her giggles. After she had calmed down, she told me, “I’m glad you’re protective, but I’m also glad you got a job, or I wouldn’t have met either of you—and, um, Judy is amazing. So easy to get along with.” She blushed. “Anyway, um, I’ve been wondering for a while, and even your friends wouldn’t tell me, but why Dive for a biker name?”

  Fuck me sideways and with a cactus.

  Jesus, I felt my cheeks heat.

  Of course she saw it, even around my beard, because she said, “It can’t be that bad.”

  “Sunshine, it’s best you don’t ask right now.”

  She sat straight and clapped her hands. “No way, I need to know now.”

  Groaning, I sank down lower in my seat and begged, “Please don’t ask me.”

  “Oh, my God. How can Dive be so bad? I don’t get it unless you like to dive into trouble?” I shook my head. “Dive into food?” Another headshake. “Alcohol?” Shake. “Wait, it has to be something biker, right?” I shrugged. She tapped her chin while she thought about it. “Riding, you like to dive into riding or fixing bikes?”

  “Sunshine, for the love of Harleys, please do not ask me.”

  She giggled. Maybe I shouldn’t have given her that beer. “No, I’ll get it right.”

  “You won’t,” I stated.

  “How long have you been a biker?”

  “Since I was sixteen, but with Hawks for only fifteen years.”

  “Did you have your club name at sixteen?”

  “Shit,” I grumbled low.

  Her hand slapped the table. “So it’s something juvenile.”

  “Think it’s time for you to head back,” I said, standing from my seat.

  She jumped up. “It is something juvenile. This is precious. Oh, my God, what could it be that you would be embarrassed about?”

  Hell, I’d never, not once, been embarrassed about my club name. In fact, I thought it the bomb, loved sharing it with all women. Until sunshine. I didn’t want her to know what a dirty fucker I was.

  Stepping close, I watched as she slowly looked up into my eyes. “Woman, you need to leave this alone.”

  Her smile was huge. “I can’t. It’s too juicy not to know.” She licked her lips. My eyes followed, and I wondered what she tasted like.

  “Christ, all right, sunshine. I’ll tell you, but I’ll walk you back first.” Taking her hand again, because any chance I could get, I felt like I needed to touch her. I took her outta the house and opened her door to the shed where I shifted her in, turned her, and said, “The name Dive.” She nodded. “I claimed it because I love to dive into pussy with my mouth.” With a hand on her belly, I gently shoved her back and closed her door. Still, I didn’t miss her eyes widen, only to sink lower and fill with heat. Nor did I miss the gasp that fell softly from her lips.

  Fucking hell. My cock, already a semi from being around her, grew rock-hard at the thought of her playing with herself while picturing me diving into her pussy.

  My steps back to the house were fast. Temptation beat at me to turn back around to find out if my image could come true. Fuck, the image was too much.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Two Months later

  Mena

  Ever since Kalen had said those words to me, that he liked, no he loved to dive into pussy with his mouth, my panties had been wet. And, nearly every night, I touched myself picturing it was Kalen caressing me. Kalen with his mouth down there on me, and Kalen slipping himself deep inside of me.

  My raw, lust-filled emotions were driving me insane. I couldn’t get his words out of my head. So much so, every time I saw him, my dang cheeks would colour, and he knew why as well. In fact, he seemed to enjoy seeing my cheeks pink because then he would give me a cocky smirk or wink.

  Despite the sexual tension between us, we never made a move to the next step. I’d considered it plenty of times, but I was worried he was still in love with Koda’s mum. I worried I would lose what I had if I tried anything. My life was finally feeling safe and happiness had become a regular fixture. I wasn’t ready to take a risk and ruin it all for me to have sex with Kalen. There was also a chance that if we did, things could go down the drain after. I couldn’t handle that happening.

  Living in the shed helped a lot. It was that little bit of extra space between us I needed. Though, we still ate dinner together every night, and Kalen and I talked for an hour or so after Koda was in bed. Those talks were near torture for me. I wasn’t sure if it was just me feeling it, but I had to fight with myself each night from jumping him. There seemed to be extra heat in our glances, the extra lingering of touches if we accidently brushed against each other.

  What also didn’t help was the few mornings I got into the house early and caught Kalen coming from the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He didn’t notice me each time. A stray thought had hoped he would because I wanted to see where it would go… no doubt with me blushing and running from the house. Though, in my fantasy, he would drop the towel and tell me to meet him in his room because he wanted to show me what a real man could do with his body.

  So I stopped going in earlier to prevent my wayward crazy fantasy.

  I had to stay strong.

  There was too much to risk.

  Judy had been on a trip, came back, and was away again on another. This one was a short one, and she’d be back in two days. Each time she left, I missed her. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother, and I had come to love her like a mother
too.

  Koda was growing so much. He wasn’t quite walking yet, though his crawl along the floor was faster than when he’d started, and he liked to pull himself up on everything he could. Even one of the long skirts Judy had given me. The only problem with that was it was loose, so when he went to pull himself up, the skirt came down instead. Thank God, no one was around to see it beside Koda. He thought it was the funniest thing and tried to do it many times that afternoon.

  Koda was now saying three more words: ball, ta (for thank you), and Nena, for my name. Of course, when he said it the first time, I used some of my saved money, and went out and bought him some large Lego blocks.

  Staying where I was had helped me so much. My debt was growing smaller each week. I was saving, even if it was a tiny amount. The only problem was with the extra food I was eating, I was gaining weight. Still, there was no way I would complain. It was but a passing thought because I was safe, warm, never hungry, and I was cared for.

  It was a Saturday. Kalen had given me the morning off, not that I usually worked or got paid for weekends, but I loved cooking for them. Though Kalen said he would handle breakfast, so I could have a sleep in. I didn’t of course. My body clock seemed to like torturing me and waking me at six thirty every morning. Didn’t matter, though; I had my morning planned out. I’d decided to treat myself. I even bought discounted nail polish, a facemask, and a waxing kit. All of it was a steal at five dollars. Just finishing the cobalt blue nail polish on my fingers and toes while I waited for my facemask and now nails to dry, I went to the kitchenette to make myself a coffee. `

  The next part wasn’t something I had ever done, so my nerves were fierce. Since it was too early for a stiff drink, I grabbed out the chocolate Judy had supplied me with and ate some. After checking my nails were dry, I washed my face and sat on the edge of my bed with nothing but a long, loose tee on.

  Gulping, I lifted my tee and spread my legs. Looking at the wax paper, I warmed it between my hands like it read on the box and then pulled the backing off. Before I could chicken out, I placed it on my mound Then I did that over and over with another four strips, thinking if I could yank it all out in one go, the pain would be over in seconds.

  I was wrong.

  It was all a stupid idea.

  What in the heck had I been thinking?

  Yes, let me pamper myself by ripping out my pubes.

  Brilliant idea.

  Taking a hold of one end, I tried to pull it away. Instead, I whimpered, and tears filled my eyes. Curling in a ball and crying would be a great option. Ignorance was bliss, right? Except when I went to move, the strips pulled at my pubes causing me to cry out in pain.

  Then there was a knock at my door.

  With wide eyes, I looked, searched for anything… only, I didn’t know what the heck I was searching for because there was nothing that could help me in that situation.

  “Mena?” a woman’s voice called. A voice I knew well since she called nearly every week to see how I was going. A woman who was amazingly friendly and made me feel like I was a part of her friends’ circle.

  “Um.” I needed help. As embarrassing as it was, I needed some help and quick. “Come in.”

  The door opened, and Low stepped in talking, “Hey, girlfriend. Dodge, the kids, and I thought we’d pop up for a surprise visit. Then Mattie and Julian with their gorgeous girl were staying in town last night seeing Josie, and they decided they’d come for the trip up also. You have to come inside. Koda and Aeila look so cute together.” She laughed. “Julian reckons she’ll be a cougar like him. Not that she’s much older than Koda.” She stopped and studied me. “Girl, what’s going on?”

  “I’ve done something really stupid.”

  She glanced around the room. “What?”

  “Um, I’m stuck.”

  She threw her hands up in the air. “Mena, spell it out for me. How are you stuck?”

  “I, ah, I thought with the morning to myself I would do some pampering.” Low gestured with her hand in a circular motion for me to continue. “So I painted my nails, did a facemask and…um, tried waxing.”

  Her eyes widened. Her hand covered her mouth. “No,” she whispered. Tears filled my eyes again, and I nodded. “Oh, honey. Down there?” I nodded again. “Oh no. Hang on one second.” She rushed from the room. I wasn’t sure where she was going or what she was doing. At least it didn’t take her long to get back. The door opened and she came in, but… holy heckle, she’d brought a tall, gorgeous man with her.

  “Hey, sugar plum, I’m Julian. Low said you were in a situation.” He smiled calmly and shut the door behind him. Not a second ticked by when there was a knock on the door.

  “Mena, you okay in there?”

  Kill me now. It was Kalen.

  “Yep, uh, all good. Thank you. I’ll be out soon to prepare lunch,” I called.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” I squeaked.

  “Dude, give us a few, and we’ll be out,” Low yelled. Then she went to the door to check. I heard her mumbling something, and then she closed the door and came to stand beside Julian. She rubbed her hands together and said, “Right, let’s get this situation under control.”

  Glaring, I asked, “What are you going to do?”

  “Finish the job.”

  “No.” I gasped. “Can’t we just pour something on it to get it off?”

  She shook her head. “Won’t work like that.”

  Glancing at Julian, I said in alarm, “Maybe I could do it on my own.”

  “Babe, you would have already done it if you could.”

  “You-hoo, does anyone want to tell me what the situation is and how I can help?” Julian asked. His hands went to his slim denim-clad hips.

  Low went on her tippy toes and whispered into his ear. When she stood back on her feet, Julian turned to me and said, “Sweetness, do not fret. Before I became a masseuse, I did a course in beauty, and waxing was a part of it.” He took his jacket off and placed it on the couch. Then he came towards me while rolling up his sleeves on his shirt.

  “Um, I don’t think… I’m not sure. You’re a guy. I don’t know if I feel comfortable with this.” I went to scoot back on the bed, only to wince when the strips pulled again.

  “Doll face, even if I’m a guy, I’m 100 percent gay. My hot dog won’t even get hard over staring at your bun. It’s all good. I know what I’m doing. Low, come and hold her hand.”

  “Why will she need to hold my hand?” I gasped.

  He stopped next to the bed, sighed, then sat beside me, patting my thigh. “I’m not going to beat around the bush, ha, get it, bush, your bush.”

  “Julian,” Low snapped.

  “Sorry, getting off track. By now, my guess is you already know it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker. Excuse the language. You squeeze down on Low’s hand for support.”

  Sweat formed all over my body. My heart wanted to jump out of my butt and cry in the corner, and my vagina was whimpering for the pain it was about to go through.

  “Open up,” Julian said like it was nothing, like he wasn’t climbing onto the bed on his knees and trying to pry my legs apart.

  “I can’t do this.”

  “You can,” Low replied. “We’re here for you. Just breathe through it.”

  “I’m not having a freakin’ baby. My pubic hairs are about to be ripped out of my body.” Groaning, I lay back on the bed, my hand over my face. “What was I thinking?”

  “Doing a clean-up before Dive gets down there?” Julian offered.

  My head snapped up. “What? No! It’s not like that.”

  “Uh-huh,” Low muttered, then giggled. “Come on, before Dive comes to check we aren’t corrupting you in any way. Let’s get this shit done.” She tapped my shin.

  “I’m so embarrassed.” But I braved it. I couldn’t keep the wax on there; it could rot on my mound and then it would be worse. Sighing, I closed my eyes, covered my face with one hand and I spread my legs in front
of a man I didn’t know. The other hand, I reached out blindly. Low took hold.

  “Oh, shit,” Julian whispered.

  “What?” I yelled. My eyes sprung open to look down at him. “Sugar, that’s a lot of wax strips. What were you thinking? That you had a beast down there to tame?”

  No,” I cried. “I thought if I laid them all on I could rip them all off at the same time. I’ve never done this before.”

  Julian and Low shared a concerned look before Julian leaned in, met my eyes, and said, “Brace.”

  Gripping Low’s hand hard, I braced, but I was never prepared for the pain. It felt like he was tearing my soul from my body.

  “Fuck!” I screamed. My whole body tingled. More sweat pooled over my body. “I-Is that it? Are we done? Please tell me we’re done.”

  “Sorry, sweetgums, that was only the first one.”

  “No, no, no.”

  “Brace,” Julian said.

  “No!” I screamed as he tore another part of my soul away. My poor, poor vagina was crying and burning like it had been dipped in hell. Then Julian did it again and again. Rip, rip, rip.

  “A-are we done?” I puffed.

  “One more. You’re doing such a good job,” Julian commented, and I wanted to punch him in the face for it. He wasn’t the one with a burning vagina.

  “Speak for yourself,” Low snapped. “I have no feeling in my hand left.”

  “S-sorry…” Rip. “Fuck me!”

  To my utter mortification, my door was thrown open so hard it hit the wall.

  “What the fuck?” Kalen boomed into the room.

  Kill me now. Strike me down and take me to hell to join with my vagina so we can become one again.

  “Julian, do you want to tell me why you’re bent between Mena’s legs before Dive kills you?” the one man I hadn’t met asked, who I presumed was Mattie, Julian’s partner.

  “And, little bird, tell me why you’re watching,” Dodge asked, and I could hear the humour in his voice.