What the Heart Knows

by Margaret Daley

  “But I tried to keep that from them.”

  “Hannah is a smart young girl. She worries about you.”

  “She told you all this when you two were shopping?”

  “Some. I’m glad she feels she can confide in me.”

  “Why didn’t she say anything to me?”

  The tone in his voice spoke of his hurt and Kathleen wanted to soothe it as he had hers so many times. “Because sometimes it is easier to talk to an outsider.”

  He covered her clasped hands. “Kathleen, I don’t think Hannah thinks of you as an outsider and I think that’s the reason she has talked to you. Thank you for being there for her.”

  The warmth of his palm against her skin sent her pulse hammering through her veins. “I love helping her.”

  “I know. I’m finding that’s the kind of person you are.”

  “I miss volunteering. I used to do a lot in Shreveport.”

  “Well, Mrs. Somers, then I’ve got a deal for you.”

  She responded to his light tone with a laugh. “An offer I can’t refuse?”

  “Yep. Volunteering. Working with people. Seeing me from time to time.”

  “You’re right. How can I refuse that?”

  “You can’t.”

  “Since we’ve established I can’t refuse the opportunity, care to tell me what it is?”

  “Remember when I told you about needing a volunteer coordinator at the hospital? We still need one. How about doing it when Mark starts school? It’ll give you something to do that you love.”

  “You’re right. It’s an offer I can’t refuse. I’d like to if everything with Mark keeps going as it is. I’m starting to leave him by himself for short periods of time, but I’d like him to be in school before I devote myself to the volunteer coordinator’s position.”

  “Where is he today? At home?”

  “No. He’s at Laura’s.” She slanted a look at Jared. “Who was more than eager to have him since I was going out on my first official date in years.”

  Jared’s chuckle was low. “That sounds like Laura.”

  “I’m surprised your ears weren’t burning this morning. She had to give me advice on what to do on a date. She thinks I’m date-challenged since I haven’t dated anyone in years and the only guy I ever dated seriously was my husband.”

  His chuckle evolved into a robust laugh. “I’m afraid to ask what her advice was.”

  “She gave me a list of topics to keep the conversation going.”

  “We don’t seem to have a problem there.”

  Jared still held her hand, reminding her it was more than a first date. They had come a long way together over the past few months. “No, we have a lot in common.”

  He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. “Two single parents trying to raise their children the best way they can.”

  “That sums us up nicely.”

  “Anything else Laura said?”

  His thumb continued to massage her hand, going back and forth over her knuckles. The action brought a weakness to her limbs. “Under no circumstances was I to let you kiss me on our first date. A kiss isn’t allow until the third date.”

  “I think we’ve gone beyond that.”

  Kathleen remembered the kiss he had given her in his den the week before. Yes, definitely beyond their first kiss. She had wanted so much more in those few minutes he’d held her, his large hands cupping her face. Those feelings had surprised her and frightened her. The only man she’d ever wanted to be with was her husband and now she was thinking about— She shook those thoughts from her mind. Too much. Too fast. She was still trying to piece her life together.

  “Laura takes her role of big sis very seriously,” Kathleen murmured, gently tugging her hand from his grasp. She needed space before she forgot her sister’s sage advice. She needed to slow things down. She scooted back on the cushion and twisted her body so she could face him on the bench.

  “You have a wonderful, supportive family. That’s important.”

  “Yes, especially now. They have been there for Mark from the beginning. Like you.” Kathleen brought her legs up and hugged them to her. “I thank God every day for the people around me.”

  “It’s good to hear you talk about the Lord like that.”

  “That’s another thing I have you to thank for. You made me realize I should be turning to God in my troubled times, not away. Your own experience with Alice and how you dealt with that has only reinforced what I needed to do. Because there are no instant solutions, I blamed the Lord for my problems. I’d forgotten how important patience was, and just listening. Now every day I begin by praying and I end by praying. It helps me to put my day in perspective.”

  “Here, keep your hands on the wheel while I change course.”

  Kathleen scrambled forward as Jared stood, releasing the wheel. Making his way to the front, Jared busied himself with bringing one sail down. After securing it, he came back to where she sat.

  “You’re doing great, Kathleen. I’ll make a sailor out of you yet.”

  “That’s okay. You can have the wheel back. We’re heading for that island and I don’t want us to run aground.”

  He slipped in beside her and she moved away, putting several feet between them.

  “I thought we would have lunch on the island and do some exploring.”

  “I haven’t been to Sunset Cove since I was a child. Is there still a dock there?”

  “Yes. In need of repair but usable.”

  “Good. I really didn’t want to wade in to the island.”

  “Kathleen, where’s your sense of adventure?”

  “When I’m on an adventure, I still like creature comforts. If I remember correctly, there’s a lot of sand on the beaches. As a child I didn’t mind wearing half the beach on me. As an adult I do.”

  “This from a woman who would go into the bayous.”

  “Yes, but I was in a boat, not walking or wading.”

  Jared maneuvered the sailboat alongside the dock and Kathleen jumped off the boat to tie the ropes to the wooden poles. As she finished, she stepped back and her foot went through a hole in the pier where the wood had rotted. She pulled on her foot to free it and nearly toppled to the planks. She caught herself and managed to pry her tennis shoe from the hole.

  Jared leaped off the boat and was at her side instantly. “Are you hurt?”

  Heat scorched her cheeks. “No, just embarrassed that after only a minute on the island, I get into trouble.”

  “Some of us have been talking about fixing this pier. This clinches it for me. It’s getting too dangerous to use. We can eat our lunch on the boat, then leave.”

  “No. I want to see Sunset Cove. We’re here. We’ll just be careful as we make our way to shore. Besides, I have my very own doctor if anything else goes wrong.”

  After Jared retrieved the food hamper and a blanket, Kathleen followed him from the pier, walking where he did. On the small beach she scanned the area, the scent of water and vegetation permeating the warm air. A crow cawed in the distance while a white tern flew overhead, shrieking. No one else was on the island. The isolation, as though they were cut off from civilization, whisked her worries away. There was only this moment in time, Kathleen thought as she slowly turned, remembering outings as a child when she and Laura had played make-believe games about damsels in distress and pirates. So much had happened since then. She had loved and lost. Was it possible for love to come a second time around? The kind of love that connected two people on all levels? For having had it once had spoiled her for any kind of love except that.

  “Where would you like to eat lunch?” Jared asked, coming up behind her.

  “Is there still a stream on the other side that empties into the lake?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then how about there?”

  “Fine. Do you want to go around by the beach or through the woods?”

  “Through the woods. There should be a path to the other side.”

&
nbsp; When Kathleen entered the grove of oaks, pines and maple trees that graced the middle of the small island, the coolness of the woods chased away the heat of the day. Streams of sunlight flowed from the upper reaches of the trees to illuminate the path. As they walked toward the other side of the island, the crunch of pine needles and leaves cut into the silence of the forest.

  Kathleen heard the stream before she saw it. Emerging from thick underbrush, she took in the water bubbling over the rocks toward the lake.

  “Nothing’s changed. We can spread our blanket out near the water’s edge,” Kathleen said, walking ahead of Jared to the spot.

  He helped her to smooth the blanket over the ground, then he opened the basket. “Mrs. Davis prepared everything except the cookies. Hannah insisted on baking us some.”

  “She said something about it when we went shopping.”

  “You two must talk the whole time you’re gone.”

  “Something like that,” Kathleen began opening containers to reveal fried chicken, coleslaw and potato salad.

  “I miss her talking to me. But at her age there are things she doesn’t want to say to a man, even her father.”

  “The same thing happened to me when Mark got to a certain age. Mark and John were very close.”

  “Terry has mentioned several times about the shopping trip coming up with Mark.”

  “I was worried he wouldn’t want to go because of Mark’s behavior that night at Laura’s. I’m glad he changed his mind.”

  “We talked about that. He thought Mark had been drinking and that was why he kicked in the TV screen.”

  Kathleen stopped scooping out coleslaw onto the paper plates. “Drinking? Why?”

  “Because right before Alice died, she started throwing things and breaking them when she was angry, which was a lot at the end. Terry remembers.”

  Her throat constricted around the words she wanted to say. Jared’s pain was always there just under the surface, ready to reveal itself on a moment’s notice.

  “I explained again that Mark wasn’t able to control his actions. He seemed to accept that, but he asked about his mother and why she did those things.”

  She placed her hand over her heart as though that would stop its quick thumping. “What did you say?”

  “That his mother couldn’t control her behavior, either. That she had an illness that made her do things she normally wouldn’t have.”

  Kathleen finished dishing up the food, her hands trembling as she held the plates. Even though Mark and Alice had two different illnesses, the effect on the family was similar. Again she wondered if Jared was trying to atone for his wife through her son. She knew that wasn’t really possible. What would happen when Jared realized that?

  “For a small hospital it’s well equipped.” Kathleen stepped onto the elevator and punched the down button.

  Jared leaned back against the wall. “We’re quite proud of the facility, especially since it serves the smaller communities in the surrounding area as well as Crystal Springs.”

  No one else was on the elevator, and she felt as though they were in their own small world, the atmosphere charged. “So many rural areas lack hospitals and even doctors.”

  He laughed. “I wouldn’t call Crystal Springs rural, exactly. It has thirty-five thousand people.”

  “You would think you were born here.”

  “Transplanted but perfectly content with the town.”

  “Don’t you mean bustling metropolis?” His very presence heightened her senses. His scent teased her nostrils. His casual attire of tan slacks and white golf shirt underscored his relaxed aura, making her aware of how Jared was at home in many different environments.

  “Next you’re going to swear you saw Superman flying over.” The doors swished open and he signaled that she exit first. “I do believe, Mrs. Somers, you’re making fun of me.”

  She smiled back at him, enjoying the repartee. “Only with the best intentions.” Stopping halfway down the corridor, she faced Jared. Their gazes connected, forming an instant bond between them, which was happening a lot lately. Suddenly her mouth went dry. “You said something about an office with a view of the garden,” she finally murmured, her words raspy as though she wasn’t used to talking.

  He severed eye contact, the moment of connection evaporating. “There’s an office next to mine that’s vacant. Since I’m head of pediatrics, which doesn’t mean a whole lot since there are only five pediatricians in Crystal Springs, I spend probably half my time here and the other half at my office on Fifth Street.” He thrust open a door and stepped aside. “What do you think?”

  Kathleen moved past Jared into the small room. “A desk, a phone, a file cabinet and a window. What more could a gal ask for?”

  “I know you can barely turn around in here, but it’s private and quiet.”

  “You’re fattening the deal with each word you speak. Will I get a chair?”

  The lines at the corners of his eyes crinkled while merriment danced in his expression. “I thought you could use the desk for that.”

  “I suppose I could. It would give me more room to move around in here if I didn’t have a chair,” she said in a deadly serious voice. She hopped up onto the wooden top, crossing her legs and leaning back, her arms propping her up.

  His gaze trekked from her head to her toes. “I’ll make sure there’s a chair here by this afternoon.”

  His laughter was rich and full. Kathleen responded to it, a warmth suffusing her face at the interest she saw in his expression. “Such service. I’m impressed.”

  “Anything to get you to stay. I’m just glad I could con—I mean, persuade you to take the position, especially since it’s unpaid.”

  “But I like the hours.” Sliding off the desk, Kathleen walked to the window and peered at the garden below. Numerous colors—from pinks to yellows to blues—greeted her inspection. The sun-drenched trees swayed in the breeze. A cardinal flew from a branch to the ground, bright red against a sea of green. “And you can’t beat this view.”

  Jared came up behind her. She shivered even though the sun cloaked her. Again his spicy lime scent engulfed her, seemingly shrinking the size of the room even more.

  “I can’t argue with you. I enjoy looking out my window when I have a moment to rest.”

  She twisted about slightly, his face only inches from hers. She coated her still dry throat and said, “Rest? You’re allowed to rest?”

  “Not much with school starting. Everyone forgets to the last minute about the shots their children need, not to mention all the supplies Hannah and Terry need. I have to thank you again for taking them to get their school clothes. That was a big help.”

  She flattened her back against the windowpane, his nearness unraveling her composure. “I’m just returning the favor. Mark’s in school today partly because of you.”

  He leaned into her, eroding what little space was between them. “I’m glad we could help each other out.”

  The husky appeal in his voice melted her insides. She gripped the window ledge to keep herself upright. He brushed his finger along her jawline, the caress feather-soft. His eyes darkened, his attention completely centered on her. In that moment she felt very special and totally feminine. Slowly he lowered his head toward her and whispered his lips across hers. Her fingernails dug into the wooden ledge.

  “I hope we continue to help each other out,” he murmured, right before kissing her.

  Lost in the wonderful sensations his kiss produced, Kathleen sagged against him. He gripped her shoulders and held her pressed to him. An eternity later, he released her and moved back.

  With their gazes bound, she took a deep, composing breath, blowing it out slowly. This was their second kiss and she felt as weak-kneed as she had after the first one. He was the only man other than her husband who had kissed her in years. And, as before, she was totally unprepared for it and the effect it had on her.

  “Thank you for showing me the hospital and my very own offic
e,” she finally said, needing to fill the silence that hung between them. “I guess this is official now. I am the new volunteer coordinator for the hospital. Even if I’m not getting paid, the title sounds impressive.”

  “You are my first choice.”

  “I am your only choice.”

  “True, but that doesn’t change that I feel you will be great at the job.”

  She blushed, the heat spreading rapidly through her. She never could handle compliments well. “I hardly slept last night because I was thinking about what I could do as the volunteer coordinator.”

  “I knew I liked you for a good reason. You’re quite the dynamo.”

  “Just doing my job.”

  Jared glanced at his watch. “I have some time before my first appointment today. Would you like something to eat or maybe a cup of coffee?”

  “From the vending machine off the lobby?”

  “I have to be pretty desperate to drink that—stuff. I can’t even call it coffee. No, I was thinking of Bill’s Diner across the street.”

  “Oh, good. There for a second I thought you had gone over the edge.” She shoved away from the window, glad that her legs could support her.

  Outside, Kathleen lifted her face to the sun and relished the warmth on her skin after the coldness of the air-conditioned building. “Before long, autumn will be here.”

  “My favorite time of year.”

  “When everything is vibrant,” she said as they crossed the street. “This little corner of Arkansas is gorgeous in the fall.”

  Inside the café Jared wove his way toward a back booth and sat. He waved toward some customers several tables over.

  The waitress filled Jared’s cup with coffee and asked, “The usual, Doc?”

  “Yes,” he answered, then said to Kathleen, “The doughnuts are wonderful. They melt in your mouth.”

  “No, just a cup of hot tea please.” After the waitress left, Kathleen added, “When we visited here, this is one of the first places we would come. Mark loves the doughnuts, too.” She frowned. “I should have realized something was terribly wrong when we moved here, and Mark didn’t say a word about coming to Bill’s Diner for doughnuts. You know, when you look back on the situation, there were clues all over the place.”