Shameful Scars: (Scars Book Three)

by A L Williams

  He placed his finger over my lips. “I see how you look at me. You want it.”

  “I—”

  “Shhh, it’s alright.” He reached down and cupped my groin. I tensed, and my stomach churned.

  “Please stop,” I whispered, my voice shaky.

  He pressed further into me, his hardened cock pushing into my side. “Don’t deny what you know you want, you little slut. You look at me like you want to suck my cock. Don’t play coy now.”

  I flinched. “Why? How? Why are you acting like this? This isn’t like you.” I pressed my palms to his chest, trying to push him away, but he was stronger. He leaned in, pressing his lips against my ear.

  “You’re so pretty. None of the other girls are as pretty as you.” He reached behind me and cupped my ass, squeezing.

  My heart hammered against my chest, and I pushed him with all the strength I had and kneed him in the groin before running from the kitchen.

  When I entered the room, I grabbed my backpack and shoved as much as I could into it. He banged on the door, trying to pry it open. “You little bitch!”

  I climbed out of the window and ran down the street as fast as I could, not looking back. I trusted him. I had to trust them all to keep me safe. Mom. Todd. Greg. Why did everyone keep trying to hurt me? I ran through the night, not knowing where I was going and not caring one way or the other. I was on my own, and I would never let anyone hurt me again.

  Never again.

  A few months later, my body felt light as I lie, sprawled on a dirty mattress. The room was dark, hiding the dingy walls and peeling paint. I was floating above myself. All the pain was gone. There was only euphoria. I was free, flying among the clouds in this tiny apartment. I do not know how long I was there. I didn’t even completely remember where I was.

  A hand slid up my leg, and Tommy climbed on top of me. I could feel his hard cock pressed into my stomach. I cringed, pushing at him. “You know the drill. I get you high and you let me fuck you. Or you can get the fuck out and find your own dope,” he growled. I nodded, my chest tightening. I relaxed under him as he lifted my skirt and fumbled with his jeans to get them open.

  Guilt and disgust curled around my heart as he pulled his cock free. I was filthy. I was an addict. I guess Greg was right. I was a slut. I laughed internally.

  I turned my attention to Tommy who was reaching for my breast. I grabbed his hand before he reached it. He grimaced. I glared at him, the fog of my high fading. I needed more. He studied me for a moment and then smirked, reaching to the side and unwrapping a needle.

  At least he had the decency to have fresh needles on hand. He administered the heroin, sending me spiraling back into bliss. I was so far gone, I barely felt him enter me. He rode me hard, but I was somewhere far away, in a place where no one could touch me.

  Never again.

  The sound of a door bursting open broke through my euphoria, and I opened my eyes. My skirt was pushed up exposing my lower body to people in SWAT suits. I looked around, seeing Tommy pressed face first into the cement, his pants still at his ankles.

  A woman walked over and kneeled next to me, pulling my skirt down and pulling me up. She searched my face, probably checking to see how coherent I was. I swayed. “Name and age?” she asked.

  I smiled at her. “Hayley McDonald. Sixteen.”

  Her face fell, and her eyes flashed. She glanced back at Tommy with disgust. “Take the trash to the squad car and document his age.”

  She moved back to me with pity in her eyes. My stomach lurched, and I vomited, the putrid stink burning my nose and throat.

  Never again.

  Everything faded to black again, and I was curled up in a ball, unable to stop what Lilith was doing. I could feel her grinding on Gabriel and growing more excited by the moment. I felt sick at the jolts of pleasure that I felt. She had complete control. “Why are you doing this?” I whispered, a part of me hoping she could hear me.

  “It is the only way.”

  I stiffened and then opened my eyes, expecting to see Lilith standing before me, but there was nothing. “Why?”

  “The only way you get what you want is by taking it.”

  A rush of images filled my mind as I was pulled back into memories, but these were not my own.

  Lilith was pressed against a tree with Adam holding her in place. Her face was filled with fear as he gazed at her, his eyes blazing with anger. “You will do as you are told,” he said.

  “Dearest, I do not want to.”

  “You belong to me. You will.” He backed up a bit and forced her to turn. slamming her against the tree and positioning his cock at her ass.

  The only way you get what you want is by taking it.

  Everything faded away, and I was in the dark once again. Corbin’s words drifted through my mind.

  Hurt people hurt people.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. She was hurt. This was not okay by any stretch of the imagination, but I found myself feeling sorry for her. I knew how it felt to be taken without regard for what you wanted. She must have been so alone. She had carried all of that for millions of years, and it turned her into a monster. She refused to take no for an answer. She refused to listen.

  Just like I would not listen. I was so stuck in my own pain and anger that I refused to see any other perspective. Maybe I had never truly walked away from my pain. Maybe I was still that scared girl who just wanted everyone to stop hurting her.

  Sorrow washed over me, and tears blurred my vision. I collapsed onto my hands and knees, lost in my pain. Was I like her? Would I turn into that given enough time? I had always been overbearing and forceful. Could I become a monster like her?

  No!

  I balled my hands into fists. I would never take what was not offered willingly. Her pain was not mine. I was not her. I was stronger than that.

  A calm settled over me. I needed to stop this. Gabriel and I had been through too much to let this woman, who had allowed her pain to consume her, destroy us. We had overcome our pain, and now we needed to overcome her. I’d be damned if I allowed her to hurt the one I loved.

  Love…

  I love Gabriel.

  The realization both terrified me and brought a smile to my face. Memories of our stolen moments together rushed through my mind. The rare sound of their laughter. The twinkle in their eye when they were pleased. The intensity of their gaze as if I was the only person alive. The press of their body and the softness of their lips. The passion they hid behind those blank expressions and clipped words. Their seriousness. The grimace they wore to hide their discomfort. I loved all of it. The good. The bad. The beautiful, and the ugly.

  “Gabriel,” I whispered, feeling the pressure pushing at me again. “Gabriel,” I said louder.

  Please hear me.

  I need you.

  I love you.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Gabriel

  Hayley’s voice broke through the chaos of my mind. “Gabriel,” she said. I opened my eyes, and Hayley was still on top of me, but it wasn’t Lilith in her gaze. She smiled warmly at me.

  “Hayley,” I rasped. I wanted to say so much, but how could I tell her I was not strong enough.

  “You are strong enough,” she said, as if she could read my mind. She caressed my cheek.

  “What if she hurts you?” I said.

  “We can’t live in fear of what ifs. Don’t you think we’ve wasted enough years on that?”

  Hayley kissed me, and I was overwhelmed with relief. It was her.

  “She can’t control you anymore,” she murmured against my lips.

  When her body went rigid, I opened my eyes, finding her face twisted in rage. Hayley was gone, and Lilith had returned. “Stupid girl is stubborn.” Lilith leaned into me, but I grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I am not doing this.” I lifted her off me and rolled away, standing up and buttoning my shirt. Once I had dusted myself off, I looked
at her as she glared daggers at me.

  “You cannot tell me no.”

  “Lilith. I am not doing this. For years, I did everything you wanted me to. I even defied Father for you, but I can no longer.”

  Lilith grimaced. “You love her?”

  “Yes,” I said. I loved Hayley. I loved everything about her. I loved the way she pouted and complained. Her loud voice and brash comments. I loved that, no matter what, she fought for those she cared for. I loved her sensual gazes and her soft lips. I loved the curve of her body. I loved her. All of her. The good. The bad. The beautiful, and the ugly.

  “You are mine!” Lilith shouted.

  “Not anymore.”

  Rage returned to her face and then her features softened. “You can have us both this way.”

  “I only want her.”

  “I will kill her.”

  “No. You will not.”

  Lilith laughed, the sound crazed. “And you think you can stop me?” I did not respond. “No matter how hard you try, you will never be strong enough to stop me,” she spat.

  “Let her go.”

  Her eyes flashed red and thick, dark clouds seeped out of her, rising into the air and surrounding us.

  Lilith’s hair whipped as the wind kicked up, throwing dirt and debris about. The sun disappeared behind the clouds, leaving only the ethereal rays of the Tree of Life. The earth shook beneath me and cracks darted along the ground.

  “This is what we have become, Beloved? We’re just going to end it here?” I watched her arms as her skin blackened, as if she was being swallowed by the darkness. It trailed up to her shoulder and then to her neck until what stood before me was a figure bathed in shadow.

  “Let her go. This is between you and I.”

  Lilith smiled, the expression deranged, and lunged towards me. I summoned my heavenly fire from the depths, the ivory flame wavering in my hands. I would not hurt Hayley, but I could at least defend myself. If a fight was what she wanted, then so be it.

  She pulsed with power, and the earth vibrated. The cloud of darkness shot towards me, and I slung fire at her, the heat meeting the cloud in an explosion of smoke and fire. I covered my face, blocking the flying debris. She scowled, and her nails extended to sharp points. She ran at me, clawing at my face. I touched it, bringing blood away.

  The sky boomed as dark clouds gathered in the sky, covering the Garden in shadow. The smell of rain wafted to me as I summoned more fire. The earth shook at my feet and crumbled, falling away into the never-ending depths below.

  I met Lilith’s gaze, and she relaxed, a cruel smile gracing her lips. A second later, she collapsed to the ground, and a dark cloud remained. It shrunk into itself until Lilith appeared before it.

  I studied the rise and fall of Hayley’s body, grateful she was only unconscious. Lilith kneeled and grabbed Hayley by the hair. I tensed as she dragged her close. “It’s a shame. The girl is quite beautiful,” she said.

  My heart slammed into my chest, and I took a step forward. Lilith arched a brow and tsked, pressing her sharp nail against Hayley’s neck. The point pressed into Hayley’s skin, bringing blood to the surface. I froze, panic swirling around inside me.

  What did I do?

  She can’t control you anymore.

  Hayley’s words echoed in my mind.

  I looked at Hayley’s limp form. She needed me. I could not give up. I had to save her. After everything her and the others had done for me, I could not let them down. I could not let myself down.

  A rush of pain hit me, and I hunched, shaking in agony. The clap of hooves on rock and the cry of trumpets filled my ears as the pain intensified. I fell to my hands and knees as the sky boomed. Sweat gathered on my face.

  A scream was ripped from my lips as my flesh tore from my back. A shadow appeared on the ground before me, and I looked up. Wings of white and brown feathers towered above me. I stared, unsure of what was happening. I willed them to move and they thrashed, pulling me to my feet. I closed my eyes as my mind spun with questions.

  How?

  Who—?

  You have learned.

  I opened my eyes and looked up.

  Father?

  The sun peeked through the clouds for a split second and disappeared followed by a downpour.

  I looked at Lilith who still had Hayley in her grasp. She gawked at me in shock. When she regained herself, she frowned and then pressed her nail into Hayley’s neck, piercing the skin.

  I leaped into the air and collided with her in an explosion of dirt and rain. We landed feet away from Hayley. I stumbled to my feet and glanced back, finding Hayley sprawled on the ground, still unconscious.

  When I peered at Lilith, a black aura surrounded her. Her eyes burned red as she scowled at me, her bare flesh covered in soil. “How dare you!”

  “I will say this one more time. End this!” I said, summoning my flame.

  The darkness rushed towards me, and I clenched my fist, throwing the ball of fire. It collided with the dark cloud. It shot through it and hit Lilith, knocking her to the ground.

  She screamed, her voice echoing through our surroundings, and before I could react, she charged me, slamming me into a nearby tree.

  The dark cloud rose around us, sucking my breath from my lungs. I struggled to breathe as Lilith clawed at me. She shrieked and struggled, clearly out of her mind.

  I blocked my face as she continued to attack me. Her face spoke of anger and rage. Revenge and denial. Most of all, it spoke of sadness and defeat. She knew. She knew this was the end, but she was fighting to her very last breath.

  I spread my wings high, sorrow curling around my heart. I summoned my fire and a torrent of flame engulfed us, pulling a shriek from Lilith. I focused every ounce of power. The fire grew, burning hot, and I watched as she burned away. Her once smooth skin cracked and bubbled until there was nothing left.

  Her screams faded away soon after, leaving me standing in the rain. The Garden quieted, and the debris settled.

  “Gabriel!” Lucifer yelled, landing at my side. He inspected me as he retracted his wings. “Are you well?”

  “Yes,” I said, running over to Hayley.

  I dropped to my knees, pulling her into my arms and using my wings to shield her from the falling rain. She was drenched, her hair sticking to her face, and cold to the touch.

  Once I removed my shirt and covered her bare chest, I pulled her close. I inhaled her scent, still present and mingling with the rain.

  Lucifer approached, and at the same time, Hayley groaned in my arms. I looked down at her as she opened her eyes. She studied me for a moment.

  I stroked her cheek, unable to resist the urge to touch her. Her skin was clammy, but it felt like her. For that, I was grateful.

  She looked past me in awe and reached up, brushing a feather lightly with her finger. I shuddered, the sensation somehow intimate. A wide smile graced her face. “Thank you.”

  I leaned in, capturing her lips in a long kiss. My body hummed with joy as she deepened the kiss, and I forgot my brother or the raging storm around us.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Hayley

  The days grew hotter, the temperatures breaking into the triple digits. We slipped into summer quickly, spring taking with it the students and snowbirds. I stood at my bedroom window, inhaling the dry air and looking out at the city. Families scooted their children into their vehicles with swimming gear and picnic baskets. It had been a week since Gabriel battled Lilith, and everything returned to normal—as normal as it could be with two angels around, that is—but I still felt different.

  When we returned from Eden, I made sure that the children were returned safely. DCS and the authorities were puzzled. Andy managed to keep the FBI from showing up with confirmation from DCS that the children were fine, and everything had gone back to normal. They did back off, but we all agreed to be alert and try to keep a low profile.

  I was relieved the children were all safe, and that some of them even got
adopted. Thankfully, they did not remember anything.

  A loud knock came at my door, and I turned around. “Come in,” I said.

  Jamie walked in, and I pulled him into a hug when he approached. We moved to my bed and sat.

  Jamie studied me. “How are you, after—?”

  “I was possessed and almost forced to rape Gabriel?” I finished.

  James looked at me incredulously. “You’re too much.”

  I snickered. “Chill, Jamie. I’m fine.”

  “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

  “You were just trying to protect me. I can be stubborn at times.”

  “At times?”

  I glared at him, seeing the twinkle of amusement in his gaze. “Watch it,” I said.

  “And you and Gabriel?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Who said there was a Gabriel and me?”

  He glared at me.

  “Okay, okay, we’re fine. I’m actually going to see them in a bit.”

  “Oh.” He smirked and waggled his brows playfully.

  “Sometimes, I miss the old you.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  I laughed. He had grown so much, and I couldn’t be happier for him.

  Jamie met my gaze. “You are happy.”

  “Yeah.”

  A wide smile spread across his face, and he leaned over, enveloping me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, tucking my face in his neck. “I love you, Jamie.”

  “I love you, too.”

  We stayed like that for a while, and then said our goodbyes.

  After Jamie was gone, I entered the kitchen, finding Cory looking through the refrigerator. “Morning. What do you want for breakfast?” he asked, without looking up.

  I plucked an apple from the basket at the center of the island. “This is fine. I have somewhere to be.”

  Cory closed the refrigerator and leaned against the counter. “Going to see Gabriel?”

  “Yeah.” I took a bite out of the apple. I looked up at him when he didn’t say anything else.

  “You look happier,” Cory said.