Something More

by Leigh Beckford

  Several times over he reads what she wrote. He then notices that it was mailed from a Manhattan zip code. Taken aback, he stumbles over an ottoman almost falling face forward as he makes his way to his wet bar. After downing two shots of Jack, with his back against the wall, he slides to the floor, still holding the postcard.

  Not wanting to be alone tonight, he goes through his phone searching for the number of a random girl whose name he couldn’t quite remember, but is sure he will recognize as soon as he sees it. Forty-seven minutes later this nameless and very willing young lady is at his place. He will later forgo the post-coital snuggling and opt for asking her to leave, but for now will exploit each second prior to then.

  Chapter 11

  Joanna is running late. Joanna is never late. She is going to be a no-show. Forty something minutes has passed since the time she had agreed to meet. He has called her mobile a few of times, but there was never an answer. Alex sits waiting, hardly patient, more nervous and fidgety than anything else. Each revolution of the main entrance’s revolving door causes him to eagerly look, needing to see who comes through it. She is now one hour, twenty-three minutes, and three cocktails late. Still no sign of her Alex decides that he has waited long enough. He retires to his room.

  He flicks on the television and attempts to lose himself to mindless programming. While channel surfing he grows remorseful. How will Valde receive the revelation of being betrayed by his best friend and the girl who at the time was the love of his life? Could their friendship survive this? He knows that as close as they are their friendship was one riddled with a certain degree of secrecy. He knew that Brittany and Valde had tried to conceal their short lived romance. Unknowing to them he had walked in on them one afternoon while they were in the throes of passion. At first that was an uncomfortable situation for him, his best friend doing his sister was not cool, after-all that was against the unspoken rules of their friendship. Alex eventually came to terms with it, for he knew that despite Valde's tenacity for being lecherous he would be good to Brittany. Will Valde be as forgiving when he is eventually dealt this karmic blow?

  He had met Valde about five years ago. It was at a nightclub where he, Alex, was promoting much to his parents' chagrin. Nightclub promoter was not what they had hoped for in their esteemed magna cum laude Brown graduate, and although he knew this was only a transient thing back then he took great delight in pissing off his stodgy parents. While admiring the same girl, he and Valde had struck up a conversation and the rest one might say is history. Over the years they have pretty much done everything together, vacations, parties, business, and some things too salacious to mention here. Despite their closeness and tendency to share, it was one of their unspoken understandings that Joanna was off limits. They have shared girls before, occasionally even at the same time, but that was not to be the case with Joanna. As corny as it may be, Valde have always thought of Joanna as being very special ever since the first time that he had laid eyes on her. For Alex she had become a weakness, the good kind that men who are in love speak of as strengthening to them. Yes, he knew their affair was wrong but somehow the same girl who for months he had barely spoken to and had wanted very little to do with became the one whom he urged to break up with his best friend and be with him. The irony of the situation is he loved Valde like a brother and truly didn't want to see him hurt, however as the symptoms of love-sickness sank in, Alex increasingly believed that his own happiness rested in him, not Valde, being with Joanna. When she decided to leave it was as much a shock to him as it was a blow to Valde. He recalls that during one intimate moment, overcome by guilt, she mentioned her intention to make a change, however in what must have been self-delusion he assumed the change would have resulted in them being together.

  Two days pass and still no meeting between the two. Alex has tried reaching her on several occasions, however with each attempt he was road blocked. It turns out that Joanna's secretary was not only perky but also quite skilled at performing her duties as a gate-keeper or rather blocker. Joanna was always in a meeting, or on the phone, or out of the office, or his personal favorite, she is still at lunch. On both days lunch seemed to go on for hours. Finally he decides to take the hint and back off. He isn't giving up however he has to get back to New York so he has decided to pursue Joanna in a different way. On his flight to Australia he had hoped that everything would have turned out smoothly. It was his desire that she would have been more compliant. Being an attorney himself he decided to take the advice he would have given to any of his clients -pursue the matter in court. He contacts a local attorney.

  This is now Alex's last morning in Sydney. The weather outside his hotel window is a tad strange. To describe it as bleak would be a bit of overkill however there is something about it that mimics Alex's mood. As he orders up breakfast he is feeling upset, disappointed and overall melancholic. Yes that's it; the weather appears to be presenting symptoms of melancholia if that's at all possible. As he exits room 517 for the last time he nervously reaches into his pocket for his cell phone. He decides to try Joanna once more. Once again her secretary states that she isn't in office. Breathing heavily with dashed hopes he clutches his phone as he lifts his bag and head towards the elevator.

  As he approaches, the elevator door opens and the sight of a stroller whose wheels buckle as they crossover to the floor is seen. Alex feels an instant rush of excitement to his head as his heart simultaneously stops beating. His pause turns to dropped bag and speedy feet as he rushes towards Joanna and his baby.

  Chapter 12

  As he approaches the mother of his child he is overwhelmed, overcome with exhilaration, and a distance that is no more than eight feet feels more like a mile. He doesn’t seem to run fast enough. Excitement becomes a silent tear as Alex lifts and holds his baby for the first time. The look of joy is indescribable. “Oh my god, you're beautiful”, he repeats several times.

  Touched by the experience, Joanna's eyes too become moist. She holds him tightly as all three ride the elevator down to the lobby, there are no words spoken, however an instant bond as thick and as sweet as molasses permeates. Seated in the hotel's lounge, he marvels at his off-spring. “What is her name?” he asks Joanna.

  “Calista”, she replies

  “Calista”, he smiles then looking into his baby's eyes he playfully says, “I like Calista, it’s a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Calista smiles back at him.

  “Funny you should say that, her name does mean most beautiful.” adds Joanna

  Playing with Calista he says things Joanna had thought unimaginable of him.

  “Look at her tiny little fingers; there are ten of them, all so adorable.”

  “Oh and that smile of hers, that's a million dollar smile. Who has the cutest smile in the whole wide world? That would be you my sweet little Calista.”

  The baby talk seems to continue forever but Joanna didn’t mind. For the first time she is seeing Alex in a whole new light. His way with Calista causes her to think he would make a loving parent, maybe even a strong partner.

  “Alex.”

  “Yes Joanna,” he replies, his eyes still on Calista.

  “What now?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What do we do now?”

  “Come back to the States. Move back home, I believe we can make this work. Look at us we are practically a little family already. You would like that, wouldn’t you Calista? Wouldn't you love to live with both momma and dada? Yes you would, yes you would. Isn’t she the most adorable thing you have ever seen?”

  A now more relaxed Joanna insists, “Come on Alex be serious.” Her tone betrays her and Alex can hear her grow more emotional, “This is not something you should decide on hastily. Being a father is a lifetime commitment. If you are going to be a part of her life, our life, it can’t be just for now. Calista will need you there long after this novelty you are feeling has worn off. I will need you.”

  “I am being serious and Calista agrees w
ith me. Look here, look at her she's nodding in agreement.” He giggles.

  “No she is not, you silly oaf,” her attempt at keeping a straight face fails and she bursts out laughing, “You know that child doesn’t understand a word you're saying. You should be ashamed of using your own child to win your way. Is that what it would be like if we were together?”

  “Maybe.” he smiles, “Come back to New York and you and I can find out firsthand what it would be like. What is that look in your eyes?”

  “What look? There is no look.”

  “Yes, there it is again. You actually do like the idea of us being together.”

  “Ok I'll admit, I sometimes think about it. I do wonder what it would be like. Tell me what single mother doesn’t wish at some point that she could have the perfect family, however I don't obsess about it.”

  “I never said you did.”

  She interrupts him, “It’s just that things aren't that simple”

  He interjects, “They never are, but that shouldn't stop us from pursuing our dreams.”

  “I have a great job here, I am finally beginning to feel settled in this place and I am pursuing my dream. Then there is the matter of how this will affect our love ones back home. It's all too complicated.”

  “Don't let your fear of disappointing those back home rob us of what could be an incredible experience.”

  “Why do you always sound like someone twice your age who has lived life and has all the answers?” she asks him searching his face for not only answers to this question but wishing that he truly had the solutions that could make everything right. She then adds, “Alex I was never as Machiavellian as you, my happiness cannot be thoughtlessly at the expense of those whom I consider dear to me.”

  “Well, I have all the answers because I have lived and experienced more of life than you have. Just kidding I’m not an oracle, no way do I truly have all the answers, but I do seek them and I never back down from the challenge of finding them. If in this case that makes me Machiavellian then so be it, but I know one of the happiest times in my life was with you, there is no amount of backstabbing I wouldn’t do to get that back. I don’t mean it that way, hell, you know what I mean.”

  “I wish I could see things as lucidly as you.”

  “It’s the weed, good old sensamania. Any true herbalist will attest that it clears out the cobwebs, places you in a constant state of meditation.”

  “Don't tell me you're still smoking?”

  “As an officer of the court and a newly responsible father I categorically deny rolling, puffing and or inhaling any substance that may be deemed unnatural.”

  “What about substances that could be deemed illegal. Are you still puffing, inhaling, swallowing or snorting any such substances.”

  “Last time I snorted anything, we shall not discuss its legality, was a senseless binge I went on just after you left. In all honesty it made sense at the time, but after the high it was one of the lowest lows I have ever felt. That was truly a low point in my life. As for swallowing, you know me, I hate taking pills. Now smoking that’s a different matter, how can anything in its natural form be deemed an illegal drug? When tobacco is made illegal then I will deem marijuana a vile herb. Until that hypocrisy is resolved there is no court, high or low, on earth that can convince me I can’t smoke it. Of course I am not saying that I still do.”

  “OK Mr. Speaker, is that soapbox high enough for you?” She then stares him straight in the eyes and asks, “I take it that you still smoke?”

  “I made no such admission,” he says, “however you tell me when was the last medical journal claiming that ganja kills published? Until then let the masses spliff it up. Governments through their legislation have no right banning it.”

  “Come on you can't dispute what they say about it damaging brain cells.”

  “Well I wouldn't say I can’t dispute, instead I will say I won’t dispute. Until I establish my own labs and carry out my own studies I won't dispute, doesn't mean I agree with them. Besides what percentage of our brain cells do we really use. A lot of people walking around today wouldn’t notice if they missed half of their brain so this whole brain cell annihilation argument doesn’t hold much credibility to me.”

  “You are so silly.”

  “Hey look, if it does kill brain cells it must really be the ones we don't use. Have you ever listened to Bob Marley's ‘War’? Yes you have I used to play it a lot at my apartment when we were both puffing up. Anyways that song is sheer genius and still quite poignant even today. It is such an expression of ingenuity. I rest my case about marijuana and brain cells.”

  “Has anyone ever told you that you are utterly and totally insane?”

  For the first time during this discourse he lets go hold of Calista’s tiny hands to hold those of her mother, “No I am not, until the benefits of marijuana are taken seriously by our courts I have no interest in partaking in their biased views and studies on the subject. Even as a lawyer I will not be a cohort in this ill-conceived resolution decreed by a misplaced fiduciary body”

  “Spoken like a highly educated stoner,” she teases.

  The sound of Calista’s voice reminds them of the real matter at hand.

  “So move back to the States with me,” he again insists.

  “Alex, come on be realistic about this. What makes you think that we would even work out? Our having a child together is great but that’s no guarantee that we can or would even have a real future together. All things aside, I wish we did, but I just don’t think that we really do.”

  Alex looks at his watch and by his calculations he is about to miss his flight. “Ok, here is what we do. You think about what I have suggested I will be calling every day to speak with you and Calista.” He gently squeezes Joanna’s hand and assures her, “I will be here for you and regardless of the decision you make about us you will not be left alone with the responsibility of raising our little girl.”

  Once again Joanna tears up.

  He then says to her, “Thank you.”

  “For what?” she asks.

  “For what is now the best moment of my life and the greatest gift I have ever received.”

  Chapter 13

  Having just wrapped up his breakfast meeting with Brea’s father, Valde makes his way out the hotel’s lobby. Ever the architectural buff he admires the lines of the lobby’s design and thinks perhaps he should have chased his architectural dream. Speaking of fine lines and curvature, that line of thought coupled with the wonderful scents emanating from well spruced floral arrangements causes his mind to drift to the wonders of the Brea’s body. Furthermore he has decided to accept her challenge. Call him delusional, for perhaps that’s what he is, but somehow he has come to interpret last night’s little performance by her as a bet. One based on the premise that he can’t be a better person, his challenge, to show her that he can indeed do better, and the prize would be the act of recapturing her for himself. Regrettably he wonders if there is room within him for self -improvement but he is convinced that surely he can get her back. He certainly isn’t happy with last night’s turn of events. He thinks of sending her flowers as an opening overture in this his new dalliance. Several reasons why he shouldn’t pop up in his mind, however within an hour and a half later a bouquet of Chrysanthemums arrives at her office with a note which reads,

  “Everything you said last night was absolutely true;

  I hope that with time you can forgive me.

  • Val”

  As Val’s cab, for lack of a better term, cruises along in traffic he stares listlessly out the window. His mind a smorgasbord of thoughts delving in and out of such topics as Brittany’s pregnancy, Joanna’s recent trip to New York, and his new found interest in Brea. Oh let’s not forget his most recent obsession; where in the world is Alex. Also, is he truly interested in doing business with Brea’s father at this moment? With what seems to be him losing his edge does he really want to be involved in any projects right now? Does he e
ven want to be in Manhattan right now? Has he grown tired of the scene, has he outgrown the circle in which he runs, and why is he even in this cab right now? With all the money he makes and what little influence he amasses why is it that for him merely being contented is like the disappearing act of a skilled illusionist always transient and ever elusive? As his existential breakdown steadily progresses he once again finds that he needs to snap out of it. All these questions spiraling out of control is causing him some degree of nausea. His current predilection for mulling over the decisions and uncertainties in his life is beginning to wear on him. Suddenly he feels a vibrating sensation in his lap.

  “Hello”, he says after answering his phone.

  “Hey Valde, it’s me Alex.”

  “Hey we have a poor connection.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “No worries man,” says an excited Valde, “How are you, where have you been, and when are you coming back, and what was the big deal making such a hush-hush escape from Gotham?

  “Hey man, slow down,” replies an equally ecstatic Alex, “One question at a time, better yet I will let you know everything when I return home tomorrow.”

  “You’re back tomorrow? Good.”

  “Yes I am and when I get there I will fill you in on everything.”

  “Cool, see you tomorrow, do have a safe trip.”

  “Catch you later Val.”

  The line goes dead.

  Sinking into the backseat of the cab he finally decides on a destination. “Lexington between 42nd and 43rd ”, he instructs the cabbie. The time for lollygagging has ended he is going to the office. In the midst of his breakdown he had jumped into the cab and told the driver to just drive. At first the poor man was confused by Valde’s odd request and insisted on being given an actual destination. He wasn’t persuaded to drive until Val slipped him an advance tip of twenty dollars. It’s been days since he had physically ventured through the doors that he built. Instead he has been working remotely and had had no desire to actually go in. He figures it is now time to sit face to face with his team and also do some real work. He calls his secretary and orders an impromptu staff meeting. Now feeling a little better than he did before his conversation with Alex he decides to call Brittany.