Punishing The Players (Spiritual Discipline Book 1)

by Ivy Barrett

  “Better than anyone. That’s the problem.” He grinned, assuring her the inference had been intentional.

  Unable to suppress the instinct, she reached over and squeezed his hand. “It’s only a problem because others have made it one. Are you comfortable with your feelings for Josiah?”

  “Mostly.”

  “What keeps you from being completely comfortable with loving him?”

  His gaze collided with hers, openly conflicted. “I guess I’m a coward. I don’t want to deal with society’s shit for the rest of my life because I happen to be in love with my best friend.”

  “You’re not a coward and society is changing. Anyone who can’t accept you as you are can go to hell. I’m humbled by the love I see when you and Josiah touch each other. It’s real, honest and powerful. No one with a properly functioning brain could deny what I’ve seen.” As usual the irony of her words left her feeling empty and sad. If it weren’t for the bet... She was so fucking tired of that phrase!

  Josiah returned, his steps light, gaze filled with mischief. “They said twenty minutes if I pick it up or an hour if we want it delivered, so I opted for takeout.” He winked at Katie. “We need to finish in time for our lesson.” He slipped back onto the chair facing the other two. “So what did Vanessa want?”

  Apparently he’d heard enough of her conversation with Chase to know the reason for her visit. “She wanted to warn me about your ‘unnatural’ desire for each other.”

  He shook his head. “That sounds like Vanessa. What did you tell her?”

  “I told her I didn’t understand why we couldn’t all enjoy each other.”

  His chuckle took on a dangerous edge. “Did she swoon?”

  “Nearly.” She looked at Chase, afraid the playful mockery would upset him. “I know you’re still hurting. If you’d rather we not talk about her, the subject is over.”

  Chase shrugged, yet his smile wasn’t quite believable. “Water under the bridge, sweetness. I did everything she asked and she still walked away. That puts her solidly in the ‘go to hell’ category.”

  “Damn straight.”

  Josiah obviously considered the issue settled, but Katie wasn’t as easily convinced. Chase seemed determined to move beyond Vanessa. Still, the wound was just beginning to heal.

  “What else did she say?”

  Even though the question came from Chase not Josiah, Katie hesitated. Would the details pour salt on his wounds or help him work through the pain? “I asked if she thought it was possible for you two to find a common ground.”

  “Why encourage her at all? He’s better off without her.”

  Annoyed by Josiah’s persistence she shot him a warning glare. “I needed to see if she had any interest in working things out. I don’t want to be an entertaining pastime while Chase waits for Vanessa to come to her senses.”

  Chase caught her hand and entwined their fingers. “If I had any interest in working things out with Vanessa, I never would have touched you.” He halted her objections with an upraised hand as he added, “I was still struggling with it when we went to the party, but her attitude was a loud and clear reminder that she’s a shallow bitch wrapped in a pleasing package. That’s not enough for me.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I am curious though. What was her answer? Is she interested in finding a common ground?”

  She couldn’t help wondering if he was a bit more than curious, but her answer would likely smother whatever spark remained. “Not if the common ground involves Josiah. According to Vanessa, she’s worth more than half of your heart.”

  “Well, the other half is already taken, so she’s shit out of luck.” He looked at Josiah, expression intensely serious. “My love for Josiah is real and I’ll never deny it again.”

  Josiah smiled, his gaze soft and warm. “Is this where I clear the table with my forearm and stake my claim on your willing body?”

  Chase laughed, but Katie’s imagination happily created the scene. After what she’d seen in the shower, it was easy enough to picture. Josiah would drag Chase out of his chair and bend him over the table. He’d drag Chase’s jeans down, frantically pull on a condom, and thrust deep into Chase’s ass. Their features would tense as pleasure ripped through their bodies. Chase would cry out and grip the table’s edge, bucking hard to take Josiah even deeper. Then they’d both go wild, fucking each other without mercy or regret.

  A warm, sexy chuckle drew her back to reality. “Having fun?” Josiah asked.

  “I have a very vivid imagination?”

  “I have no doubt.”

  She leaned forward and put her chin on her hand, elbow resting on the table. “What I saw in the shower was hot as hell. When do I get to see more?”

  “Keep it up and we’ll blow off dinner,” Chase growled. “It’s been way too long for both of us.”

  Shifting her gaze from one man to the other, she took her time and enjoyed the view. They were each appealing in their own right, yet together they were irresistible. Chase softened Josiah’s hard edges while Josiah added mystery to Chase’s sunny disposition. “I’m not sure I’d mind. We can always eat after.”

  With shocking speed and focus, Chase shifted his chair back from the table and pulled her onto his lap. “You are trouble, plain and simple.” He wrapped his hand around the back of her head and covered her mouth with his. Her lips parted and his tongue pushed between her teeth, the kiss hot and hungry.

  She started to wrap her arms around his neck, but Josiah caught one of her wrists and moved her hand to his shoulder. She hadn’t heard him move, but he now knelt in front of her. He moved her legs apart and reached for the belt securing her borrowed robe.

  “Wait.” She turned her head with a breathless laugh. “Your ex ruined my lunch break. I really am hungry.”

  Josiah ran his hands up and down her thighs. “You need your strength for tonight. I guess we’ll have to feed you.”

  “Then go get the food,” Chase urged. “The sooner she’s fed, the sooner her lesson can begin.”

  Josiah pushed to his feet, one brow arched quizzically. “You do remember that you’re not invited. Right?”

  Chase tensed, clearly unhappy with the reminder. “Let’s ask her what she’d prefer.”

  “It’s not up to her. From the moment the lesson starts until it ends, she does exactly what I tell her to and nothing more.”

  “Why don’t you want me there?” He sounded so hurt, Katie looked at him, but his expression remained calm, almost indifferent. Surely Josiah wasn’t fooled.

  “We’ll talk about it when I get back, if she moves to my chair and you stay in yours.”

  Chase chuckled as he eased her off his lap. “Afraid we’ll start without you.”

  “I know you will if she stays there.”

  “Fair enough.” Chase held up his hands as she moved to the other side of the table. “No touching until you get back.”

  “I won’t be long, so behave.” Without a backward glance Josiah raced for the door.

  “He’s always been possessive of me.” Chase’s gaze lingered on the path Josiah had taken, then shifted back to her. “But you’re the first female he’s acted this way toward.”

  “I’m I supposed to be flattered?” If she were honest, she was pleased by Josiah’s possessiveness. Still, it wouldn’t do for the men to realize how deeply their attention was affecting her. They were playing a game and so was she. None of this meant anything to any of them.

  Chase was silent for a long time after her flippant answer. “Is it just curiosity that keeps you coming back for more?” His face became an expressionless mask. Even his expressive eyes were unreadable.

  “Coming has even more to do with it than curiosity.” She offered the comment with a playful smile, hoping to lighten his mood. “I can’t seem to get enough of either of you, and together is even better. Is there something wrong with that?” It made her sound almost as superficial as Vanessa, but it was important to reinforce her role.
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  “There’s nothing wrong with desire. It should be obvious that we’re incredibly attracted to you too.” He hesitated and suspicion flickered in the depths of his gaze. “But it’s hard to believe this is all physical with you. You don’t feel anything but lust for either of us?”

  She shook her head as she licked her lips, praying her eyes didn’t give her away. “Where is this coming from? I’ve made my intentions clear from the beginning. I want to keep things light and fun. No expectations. No demands. We enjoy the heat until the fire burns itself out, and then we go back to being curious neighbors.”

  His gaze moved over her face, his features still carefully blank. “Playing with fire is always dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt and I don’t want you to hurt Josiah.”

  He’d left himself out of the potential pain. How interesting. “I appreciate your concern, but Josiah and I have been candid with our expectations. We both understand what this is and what it’s not. If you aren’t comfortable with a purely sexual arrangement, then he’s right. It’s better if you don’t participate in my lessons.” It was a strategic risk. Chase was obviously feeling guilty. He could use the opening as an escape route. Still, she didn’t think he would. Usually telling someone no made them more determined than ever to do the very thing they’d been denied.

  “Josiah’s full of shit.” She’d tried to shift his focus inward, but she’d obviously failed. His protectiveness was admirable and endearing, two qualities she couldn’t afford to attribute to him. “This isn’t purely sexual for him. He’s already more emotionally invested in you than I’ve ever seen him before.”

  It was impossible to combat his brutal honesty. Every word rang with conviction. “I’m not sure what you want me to do.”

  “I want you to answer the question. What do you feel for Josiah?” His eyes locked with hers, unblinking as they assessed her reaction.

  She swallowed hard. Lying to him now would unravel her web and leave her with the responsibility for everything that had happened so far. She couldn’t allow that to happen. The spotlight had to be squarely focused on them when she pulled back the curtain. “He’s intriguing and complicated. I’m fascinated by him.”

  “Go on.”

  She’d done her best to avoid analyzing her feelings, to remain focused on her ultimate goal. “I don’t want to want him as much as I do, but I can’t seem to stop myself. That frightens me. I’ve never been with anyone who affected me that deeply before.”

  “So you created a scenario that keeps him leashed, at least to some extent. And it keeps you distanced from your feelings.”

  A sad sort of chuckle escaped as she admitted, “That’s how it’s supposed to work. It’s been less effective than I’d hoped.”

  “You can’t control Josiah, believe me I’ve tried. If you try to slow him down, he just smolders until you’re aching for him to pounce, and then he’ll be even wilder than before. It’s easier just to admit you need him and follow where he leads.”

  A now familiar heat spiraled through her body. She wanted to throw caution to the wind and abandon herself to these feelings. Surely they weren’t still playing games with her. The tenderness in Chase’s gaze couldn’t be faked, and the consuming passion Josiah unleashed... Was she really so naive? This was what they did, how they entertained themselves. Even Vanessa had confirmed that they had done this many times before. Katie was their current target, nothing more.

  “I’m afraid.” The confession slipped out as emotion clogged her throat. The statement was true, yet misleading. She wasn’t afraid of Josiah. She was afraid of herself, afraid of how close she was to giving in to her own weakness. She pushed to her feet, ready to bolt for the door, but the distinct growl of Josiah’s Porsche halted her retreat. She had to see this through. She’d come too far to give up now.

  “I know you don’t believe me.” Chase drew her attention back to him. “If you want to know if Josiah really cares about you, I’ll tell you how.”

  “All right.” Inside information was always helpful. She sat back down.

  “Ask about his past, not his college years, earlier. If he tells you about his sister, I’ll be shocked and you’ll know this is way more than sexual. He’s never shared that secret with anyone except me. But you can’t mention his sister specifically or he’ll know I’m coaching you.”

  She accepted the information with a quick nod as the door from the garage swung open.

  Chapter Ten

  Josiah watched Katie toy with her food as the tension around them built. For someone who claimed to be starving, she was actually eating very little. “Are you all right? You look sort of pale.”

  “It’s the first time you’ve seen her when she wasn’t blushing.” Chase wasn’t similarly afflicted. He devoured his portion of the Italian takeout with unabashed gusto.

  “I thought you liked pasta.” Josiah was far more interested in their guest than in the meal.

  She looked up and forced a smile. “I do and this is delicious. I’m just anxious about our lesson.”

  “Excited or actually anxious?”

  “A little of both.” She picked up her wineglass, took the last sip, then held it up for more.

  “I don’t want you drunk, so make this last.” He filled her glass half-full, then set the bottle aside. He and Chase sat across from Katie like two besotted suitors vying for her attention. “Talk to me, Katie-cat. Why are you anxious?”

  “I don’t know what to expect. You haven’t told me anything except that it will take place in your playroom. Does the lesson have a theme? Are you going to let Chase participate or not?”

  “I’ve decided Chase can assist me, if he’ll agree to a subordinate role.” He looked at Chase, silently prompting his reply.

  “We both know how it works. Once the lesson starts we obey without question.”

  “I never agreed not to ask questions,” Katie clarified with a cheeky smile. “And ‘follow directions’ sounds much better than ‘obey’.”

  Relieved to see her brighten, Josiah relaxed. “Being that you’re willing to ‘follow directions’, I’ll reveal the lesson’s theme. Tonight we’ll be exploring the concept of trust.” He stood and gathered the dishes as Chase collected the takeout containers. “Do you want more wine?” he asked Chase.

  “Why can he have more when you cut me off?” Katie stood beside her chair, nearly empty wineglass in hand.

  “He outweighs you by half and has a full stomach. I don’t want your senses dulled or your mind clouded. This lesson is too important.”

  Josiah refilled his glass then Chase’s, then put the bottle away. He took Katie by the hand and led her to the basement door. “As with our other lesson, I want you to be honest at all times. I’m going to push you harder tonight, but ‘no’ still means ‘no’.”

  She nodded, nervously looking down the shadowy stairwell.

  “Are you comfortable with Chase participating? I know that wasn’t part of our original deal.”

  “I don’t mind.” She looked at Chase and smiled. “Chase is always welcome.”

  She had no idea how important those words were to him and Chase. Without a female third, Chase never would have opened up to him and he needed Chase more than he’d ever allowed himself to admit before. He flipped on the light and led her down the stairs, feeling the import magnify with each step. Chase followed silently, his expression serious. How had she gotten to them so quickly? Josiah had never felt this way about anyone else. Even with Chase his affection had deepened gradually. His desire for Katie was obsessive and incendiary. If he wasn’t careful, it would consume them all.

  He took her down a hallway and opened the only door on the right. Two large storerooms lined the left. Motion sensors activated the lights as he ushered her inside his playroom. He watched her look around, trying to see the room from her inexperienced perspective. Was she frightened by the equipment, or excited and intrigued? Her gaze was wide, but her expression was surprisingly hard to read.


  “It’s not what I expected, and yet it is.” She motioned toward the wall of implements with her wineglass. “Have you actually whipped someone before?”

  “I have, but I prefer the lighter instruments, like the floggers and riding crops.” He refused to touch her, wanted her to have all the time she needed to satisfy her curiosity. Once the lesson started, he wanted nothing to distract her. “Actually, my favorite is still my bare hand. Nothing is more intimate than skin on skin.”

  As she continued her leisurely inspection of the room, he discreetly opened one of the large storage units inset in the wall and grabbed a silk blindfold. He’d barely managed to stuff it into his pocket when she noticed him securing the door.

  She motioned toward the unit. “What’s in there?”

  “Various restraints, a wide selection of toys, lubricants, lotions, and of course condoms. I won’t even suck a cock without a condom. Unless it’s attached to Chase.” The men exchanged a poignant glance before Josiah returned his attention to Katie.

  “And why is Chase the exception?” Her curiosity never faltered. She needed to understand every detail of every situation. It was part of her charm.

  “We make sure we’re clean at least once a year and we stay that way by not making exceptions for anyone else.”

  “You used condoms with Vanessa?” She blushed scarlet, then held up her hand. “Sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  Chase seemed amused by the question, which pleased Josiah even more than her curiosity. With every breath, Chase seemed to be exhaling Vanessa and inhaling Katie. “I did, but it probably wasn’t necessary. I’m relatively sure she’s squeaky clean.”

  “Yet you didn’t trust her enough to take the chance.” Her brows arched and she cocked her head just a little. “So why didn’t we use a condom in the shower.” She licked her lips as if the taste of Chase still lingered in her mouth rather than the wine she’d been drinking.

  Josiah took her glass from her hand and set it on the counter. He took a gulp of his wine, then set his glass aside as well. “You were such an extension of Chase, I didn’t even think about our usual rule.”