The Innkeeper's Bride

by Kathleen Fuller

  “Nothing that isn’t urgent or taking care of our animals.” He set his mug on the counter.

  “I see. You still don’t have to excavate my car. That’s not typically the innkeeper’s job.”

  “We’re not a typical inn. Besides, more hands are better than few, especially since we don’t have a snowblower. But we have plenty of snow shovels.”

  “Then I’m definitely helping.” Jackson paused. “I gotta admit, I’m confused by some of the things you guys do—and don’t do. Like not driving cars. What’s up with that?”

  Levi, unlike some Amish, had always been open to questions from outsiders. “For us, cars aren’t necessary. We can get where we need to by horse and buggy, and if we need to go farther, we can hire a taxi or take a bus. Isn’t that what English people do too? Use taxis and other transportation services?”

  “Yeah, but it’s way more convenient to have a car.”

  “True, but life isn’t always about convenience. At least not among us.”

  “I noticed.” He rocked back on his heels. “Convenience isn’t always a good thing. Sometimes I’m so busy I can’t think straight. Then I wonder, if I’m so busy, why aren’t I accomplishing anything? And if everything is supposed to be so easy, why does it seem to be getting harder?” He shrugged. “Oh well. I’ll get my gear from upstairs and meet you in the parking lot.”

  Levi nodded and went to the house to get Nina and his snow gear. When he walked into the kitchen, his grandmother was sitting at the table, her chin resting on her hand, staring into space. He wasn’t used to seeing her motionless, except in church services. “Where’s Nina?” he asked. When she didn’t respond he said, “Grossmutter?”

  “Oh, ya.” She blinked and straightened. “Nina’s in the living room with yer daed. He’s slept almost the whole afternoon. I guess he’s still catching up on the sleep he missed while he was in the hospital.”

  “Gut.” He was sorely tempted to ask his grandmother if she’d checked on Selah, but he refrained. Instead of working in his office, most of the time he’d tried to figure out how to detach himself from her. That would be difficult to do, considering he wanted to do the opposite. He wanted to spend time with her, to get to know her, to reassure her that everything would be all right. But that would be a mistake. He headed for the living room to get Nina.

  “Selah’s still upstairs.”

  He whirled around but then steadied himself. Now that his grandmother had opened the door, he was going to walk through it. “Did you check on her? Did she have anything to eat? Is she still upset?”

  She held up her hand. “One question at a time. Ya, I checked on her, and ya she had something to eat. As far as being upset . . .” She got up and went to Levi. “You did the right thing by giving her the rest of the day off.”

  That didn’t answer his question, and he had to fight the urge to go upstairs and check on her himself. “I’m going to shovel the parking lot,” he said. He needed to focus on work, not on Selah.

  Grossmutter nodded. “I’ll get started on supper.”

  Levi went to the living room, where Nina lay on the couch reading a book. He glanced at his father, who was snoring away in his chair, before nudging her on the shoulder. “We’re shoveling the lot,” he said in a loud whisper. “Now.”

  “Now?”

  “Now.” He glanced up the stairs and then forced his mind off Selah again.

  Nina groaned. “Fine. I’ll meet you out there.”

  “Hurry up.”

  “Everyone’s acting so seltsam today.” She got up from the couch, scowling. “Jackson and I are the only normal people here.”

  “Don’t forget about me,” Daed said.

  Levi whirled around. “Sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “That’s okay.” He grabbed his crutches and stood. “I need to move around anyway. If I sleep any more, I’ll be awake all night.” He looked at Levi and Nina. “Need any help with the shoveling?”

  “Nee,” they said at the same time.

  “Just joking.” He hobbled away toward his bedroom.

  Levi and Nina headed for the mudroom to prepare for the task at hand. “Why are you so fussy?” Nina said as she put on her thick winter coat.

  “Just be quiet and get dressed.” He stormed outside, his coat half on. Then he stopped and took in a deep breath. When this weekend was over and Selah was feeling better, the two of them were going to have another talk. And this time they would straighten everything out once and for all.

  Chapter 14

  Selah stood at the window in Nina’s room and put her hand against the freezing cold pane of glass as she watched Nina and Jackson dig out his car. They were on opposite sides of the snow-covered vehicle, and Nina picked up a huge shovel of snow and flung it behind her, not knowing that Jackson was there. A cascade of snow fell over him. Even though she couldn’t hear what the two of them were saying, she saw Nina put her gloved hand in front of her mouth in surprise before Jackson flung a bit of snow back at her. They both started to laugh.

  She couldn’t even crack a smile. She would be out there right now, helping them clean Jackson’s car and the rest of the parking lot, if she hadn’t ruined everything.

  She plopped onto Nina’s bed. Instead of napping after Delilah brought her the tea, she had prayed some more. It settled her down some, but all she wanted was to go home.

  She moved from the bed and paced for a few minutes before going back to the window. Jackson and Nina were still shoveling. Where was Levi? She couldn’t see him, but she was certain he was also shoveling somewhere, just out of her vantage point. She couldn’t imagine him not helping while Jackson and Nina worked.

  A knock sounded at the door, and when she told whoever it was to come in, Delilah opened it. “Ruby just called,” she said. “Christian is on his way to pick you up. She said he should be here in thirty minutes.”

  Selah let out an inward sigh of relief. “Danki.”

  Delilah paused. “Would you like a drink or a snack while you wait downstairs for him?”

  She shook her head, unwilling to explain that she planned to stay in Nina’s room until the very last minute so she wouldn’t run into Levi.

  “All right. I’ll be in the kitchen cooking supper if you change yer mind.” She gave her a small but warm smile and then closed the door.

  Selah waited as long as she could and then took a deep breath and went downstairs. She’d go through the kitchen to the mudroom to get her coat and bonnet, and hopefully Levi wouldn’t be there.

  To her surprise, neither Delilah nor Loren were in the kitchen, although a couple of pots were on the stove and the scents of cinnamon, ginger, and pumpkin were in the air. Two piecrusts sat on the counter next to a large mixing bowl. She hurriedly got her belongings from the mudroom and then dashed to the living room to watch out the front window for Christian to show up. Levi, Jackson, and Nina weren’t in the parking lot now, and she figured they’d gone inside the inn. The fact that the Stolls and Jackson weren’t around eased her mind a little bit. At least she could avoid an awkward scene with everyone, knowing she was the reason it was awkward.

  A few minutes later Christian’s buggy turned into the wide path now cleared down the center of the parking lot. She opened the door before he pulled to a stop.

  “You’re leaving?”

  She turned to see Levi standing in the living room. His face was red from the cold, and his eyeglass lenses were fogging up from the heat coming off the woodstove. He took them off as he walked toward her. “These things can be annoying sometimes,” he muttered before stopping in front of her.

  “Christian’s here.” She shut the door a little way, not closing it completely.

  “I know. What I meant was that you were leaving without saying good-bye.”

  Her cheeks heated. She’d been so self-absorbed that she hadn’t realized that by slipping out undetected she was being rude to the people who had treated her so kindly. She looked up at him, ready to apologize
.

  But the words didn’t come. She hadn’t seen Levi without his glasses before, and while she thought he was handsome with them, he was gorgeous without them. The sparkle so easy to see when he wore his glasses was in full force now. Then it started to fade as he frowned.

  “It’s too cold to keep Christian waiting.” He put his glasses back on and stepped away. “See you back here on Monday.”

  “Monday. Right.” She opened the door and dashed onto the porch, which had been swept clean. That must have been what Levi was doing while his sister and Jackson were in the parking lot. Once down the steps, she practically skated to the buggy before climbing inside. She sat back, her chest heaving.

  “You seem to be in distress.” Christian peered at her. “Are you okay?”

  “Ya.” No, she wasn’t okay, but if she told the truth, he would ask more questions. “I guess the cold took mei breath away.”

  “Fortunately it’s not as hyperboreal as it was yesterday.”

  She was too tired and out of sorts to ask him what that meant. “Can we geh home now?”

  He lifted an eyebrow and then nodded. “Of course.”

  As Christian maneuvered the buggy out of the parking lot, Selah resisted the urge to look back at the inn. Monday. She might be able to avoid Levi at church the next day, but it was crucial that she get her wits back by Monday. If not, she would be in trouble—for more reasons than one.

  * * *

  Levi thrust one hand through his hair. He’d missed a prime opportunity to talk to Selah. But seeing her leave without saying a word to any of his family had irritated him to the point where he gave up. It didn’t matter that when she’d looked at him after he took off his glasses, he’d felt something shift inside him even though her image was blurry. He sensed something there, something strong between them despite his confusion and annoyance with her—which made him even more frustrated.

  “Look, I’m using one crutch!” His father hobbled into the living room.

  “Great.” Levi continued to look out the window as Christian’s buggy went down the snowplowed road.

  “Don’t get too enthusiastic on me, sohn.”

  Levi turned around and faced him. “Sorry. I was a little distracted.”

  “By Selah?”

  He was about to deny it, but what was the point? He’d been lying to himself all this time about his feelings for her, and by default to his grandmother, but he couldn’t lie to his father. “Ya. You could say that.”

  Daed limped to his chair and sat down. “You’ve had a lot on yer plate lately.”

  Levi plopped down in the chair next to him. “Not that much.” He didn’t want his father worrying about him.

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. Getting the hang of being an innkeeper isn’t easy. I’m finding that out from firsthand experience. Then having a new employee and our first guest. And doing all that with yer usual positive attitude.”

  He wasn’t feeling all that positive right now, especially about Selah. “It’s part of the job.”

  “I’ll be back on mei feet soon enough, and you’ll be relieved of all that responsibility.”

  “I don’t mind it, though.” He looked at his father. “I kind of like it, actually. Now that I know what I’m doing for the most part, it’s enjoyable. Of course, we’ve had only one guest so far. And the blizzard stopped everything, so there wasn’t that much to do.”

  Daed nodded. “There’s a lot more for you to learn. If you’re interested, I can teach you. I like the idea of having someone else able to run the inn in case of things like this happening.” He gestured to his leg, which he then propped up on the footstool. “Although I promise to stay off roofs from now on.”

  “Gut.” Levi leaned back in the chair. “I’ll take you up on yer offer to learn innkeeping.”

  “We can start Monday, after I get back from mei appointment.” Daed sniffed the air. “I can smell that pumpkin pie from here. I think yer grossmammi is trying to impress Jackson.” He got up from the chair. “I’m going to see what else she’s cooking up in there.” He tucked his crutch under his arm.

  “Should you be on only one crutch?” Levi asked, frowning.

  “Probably not.” He looked at Levi. “By the way, Selah’s a nice maedel. I’m sure whatever is going on between you two, you’ll work it out.”

  Daed limped out of the room, and for once in his life, Levi wasn’t so optimistic.

  * * *

  Shortly after she arrived home, Selah ran out to the phone shanty. Most people in the community had a cell phone for emergencies, and the school where Christian taught had one, but her brother was old-fashioned when it came to technology—even if it was sanctioned by the bishop. He’d insisted on putting this shanty in when they moved here. For once she was grateful, because she was desperate for privacy.

  She dialed Anne on her private number, one to be used only in emergencies. This definitely constituted an emergency.

  “Hello?” Anne’s calm voice came through the receiver.

  “Hi.” She twisted the phone cord around her finger. She’d forgotten to put on her gloves, and her hands were freezing. She stuck one hand into her pocket, holding on to the receiver with the other.

  “Hi, Selah.” She paused. “Is something wrong?”

  “Everything is wrong!” She explained what had happened over the past forty-eight hours. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I don’t know what to do.”

  “Take a deep breath first,” Anne said. “Then we’ll talk.”

  Selah inhaled, the cold air stinging her lungs, but it did relax her a tiny bit.

  “All right,” Anne said. “Now, my first question is have you found a new therapist yet?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Anne was nice, but she was also direct, which Selah knew she needed but didn’t like much right now. “I haven’t had the time.”

  “Your mental health should always be a priority, Selah. We talked about this.”

  “I didn’t call to get a lecture, Anne.” She paused. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. You’re agitated and anxious, which makes you short-tempered.”

  “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” she said, a familiar hopeless feeling looming in the background of her soul. “I thought I was doing so well.”

  “You are. And I can promise that missing one dose of your medication won’t send you spiraling the way you’re describing. Don’t make it a habit, though.”

  “I won’t.” She would carry her medicine with her from now on.

  “Why don’t you tell me how the job is going.”

  “It was fine until all this happened.” She huddled in her coat. “I made sure not to make any mistakes.” Other than falling for Levi.

  “So you’re doing your job perfectly,” Anne said.

  “I’m trying to.”

  “Are you double-checking everything you do? Are you worried that you might make a mistake and get fired?”

  Selah nodded but then remembered Anne couldn’t see her. “Yes. I’m terrified of that.”

  “Which translates to a large amount of stress. Being perfect is impossible—and trying to be perfect can lead to anxiety and agitation. But that can’t be the only reason you had a panic attack.” After a long pause, she said, “Is there anyone at the inn you don’t get along with?”

  “No, they’re all wonderful. Especially . . .”

  “Especially who?”

  She groaned. She knew Anne well enough to know that she would gently push Selah until she answered. “There is this one man . . . Levi.”

  “I see. And he’s special to you in some way.”

  Swallowing, Selah said, “Yes. He is.” Then she added quickly, “But I know it’s wrong to get involved with my boss.”

  “He’s your boss?”

  “Sort of.” She explained the situation with the family. “Technically he’ll be a coworker when his father goes back to work, assuming my job has become permanent
by then. But that doesn’t really change anything. I shouldn’t be interested in anyone to begin with.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m . . .” She leaned her forehead against the side of the shanty. “I can’t. And before you ask me why again, it’s because I’ve decided to stay single.”

  “For how long?”

  These short, peppering questions were getting on her nerves. “My whole life.”

  She heard the sound of shuffling papers in the background. “That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think? Particularly because you like someone now?”

  “I have terrible taste in men. You know that.”

  “You made some mistakes. You can either learn from them or hide and let them inform the rest of your life. It’s your choice.”

  Selah gasped. “Then you’re telling me to quit my job?”

  “That’s not what I said. You wanted a fresh start when you moved back to Birch Creek. That means keeping the past in the past. You’re not going to make the same mistake you made with Oliver.”

  Just the sound of Oliver’s name grated. She cringed. “It probably won’t matter. After what happened, they won’t want me back.”

  “Or they will. You won’t know if you don’t show up for work. A panic attack isn’t the end of the world. And when you find a therapist—which you will do on Monday and set up an appointment—you can figure out what triggered the event. Until then, you have some decisions to make.”

  “About my job?”

  “Yes. And about Levi.”

  Selah frowned. “What do I need to decide about him?”

  “That’s for you to figure out. Selah, you’re going to be okay. You already used prayer to help you cope, which is excellent. You can work on other ways with your new therapist.” She paused again. “I’m glad you called. Keep me updated.”

  “All right.” She did feel better, having Anne’s reassurance. And she was right about finding a therapist as soon as possible. She was improving, but she still had a long way to go.

  After she thanked Anne, she hung up the phone, but she didn’t go back in the house even though she was shivering. Instead, she focused on a Bible verse. What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. She had to turn her fear over to God so she could think clearly and listen for his guidance. Only then could she make the right decisions—about everything.