Built to Last

by Aurora Rey

  Joss scowled. “Of course you haven’t. I’m just trying to wrap my head around how someone could say such a thing. Or why?”

  “I don’t know. It could be someone who saw something innocent and completely misinterpreted it.”

  “Or?”

  Olivia sighed. “Or it could be someone who has a grudge, or wants to see me embarrassed.”

  “Is that possible? Not that someone would have a grudge against you, but that this could have any weight whatsoever.”

  “According to my department chair, there will be a confidential investigation. I have no doubt that the official result will be that I’m cleared, but they’re going to have to talk to people. And even if they aren’t supposed to, those people are going to talk. Professors are worse than little old ladies when it comes to gossip.”

  Joss squeezed her hands. “Okay, I get that that’s a worry, but let’s deal with one thing at a time. What happens next? And is there anything you can do to move things along quickly?”

  Olivia looked at Joss. She was so calm and had a cool, matter-of-fact way of looking at things. Olivia had expected telling Joss to make her feel even worse. Instead, she felt better. Not only did Joss believe her, she seemed ready and willing to help her through it. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “I’ll answer whatever questions they have. I’ll give them access to my email, to my office. I think that’s all I can do.”

  “Who’s the student?”

  Olivia slumped forward. “Her name is M.J. She took American lit with me last semester and is in my Southern writers class now.”

  “Are you close?”

  “She comes to office hours pretty regularly. I helped her start putting together a proposal to do a senior honors thesis.”

  “That sounds pretty typical.”

  “It is. She’s also gay. She’s out at school, but wasn’t out at home.” Olivia sighed. “Until a couple of weeks ago.”

  Joss leaned back. “Let me guess. It didn’t go well.”

  “Everything about her screams baby dyke, but her parents were completely shocked.”

  “Oh, man.”

  Olivia was recalling the conversation in her office. “Wait.”

  “What?”

  Olivia remembered M.J.’s initial despondence, the hopeful turn as they talked things through. “She came to my office to tell me about it. She was really upset and we talked for quite a while. She hugged me when she left.”

  Joss folded her arms. “Is hugging a student against the rules?”

  Olivia shook her head. “No, but I guess someone could have misinterpreted it. I’ve been racking my brain for anything that could have looked even the slightest bit inappropriate.”

  “It seems like a stretch.”

  “It is, but you never know what people are thinking.” Olivia frowned. “Especially if they’re looking for trouble.”

  “I can’t believe someone would do that.”

  Olivia had a flash of Gerald standing right outside her door. “Fucking asshole.”

  “What? Who?”

  “Gerald was there. It was right before a faculty meeting and Gerald was hovering in the hallway.”

  Joss let out a sound that resembled a low growl. “Would he do that?”

  Olivia sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe? I wouldn’t put it past him.”

  “Can you press it? File some kind of complaint of your own?”

  Even if it was true, she’d probably never be able to prove it. Olivia tried to shove the idea aside and stood up. “I don’t know, but I can’t think about that right now. I’m going to focus on clearing my name and minimizing the damage.”

  Joss stood as well. “That sounds like a good plan.”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  For the next several days, Olivia taught her classes, held office hours. She went to a faculty meeting. No one said anything. Of course they wouldn’t. It felt as though people were looking at her more, but she might be imagining it. She had no way of knowing who knew, who’d been asked about her.

  Her meeting with HR had been oddly anticlimactic. A woman who reminded Olivia of her aunt Phyllis asked her a series of questions. She seemed neither sympathetic nor scandalized. Less than an hour later, she thanked Olivia for her time and assured her a resolution would be forthcoming.

  Olivia desperately wanted to tell Gina about the whole thing. Gina would be outraged, but empathetic. She would also have good advice. Gina hadn’t endured a scandal, at least not to Olivia’s knowledge, but she’d survived the tenure process. In addition to being competent, such a feat required toughness and a certain degree of political savvy. But the last thing she wanted to do was put a damper on the first few weeks she and Kel had at home with the twins. Even as Olivia dreaded that Gina might hear about it from someone other than her, she couldn’t bring herself to call her.

  After some gentle prodding from Joss, Olivia decided to do it in person. She texted Gina, who sounded thrilled to have a visitor, and headed over after class.

  “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Olivia set down the bags she’d brought and hugged her best friend. “Good. I picked up the things you asked for, but took the liberty of adding a few more.” Olivia unloaded grocery items as well as some ready-to-cook and ready-to-eat meals. “If my kitchen was done, I’d have cooked. I’ve been living on these, though, and they aren’t half bad.”

  “You’re an angel.”

  “I’m no such thing, but I do know my way around Wegmans. How are you?”

  “Better than I thought. With Kel home and me teaching my classes online for the month, we’ve managed to work out a decent system.”

  “And does decent system mean sleeping for more than two hours at a time?”

  Gina grinned. “It does. Kel sleeps from nine to three. I sleep from three to nine. We each try to take a nap during the day, which Kel is doing now. Since we’re supplementing with formula, it’s working.”

  Olivia nodded. “I’m impressed.”

  “Don’t get me wrong. Those six-hour shifts can get a little rough, but Kel comes in refreshed and I have the promise of bed to sustain me.”

  Just being around Gina made her feel better. Olivia chided herself for staying away. “Remind me to get all of my parenting advice from you.”

  “We certainly don’t have it all figured out, but we’re a good team. That said, I’m sure the first time one of them runs a fever, I’m going to turn into a crazy person.”

  Olivia laughed. “That sounds perfectly reasonable.”

  “What about you, woman? How’s school? How’s Joss?”

  “Joss is amazing. School, not so much.”

  “Are your students acting like children? Or are our colleagues?”

  “At this point, I’d take both of those things, gladly.” Olivia launched into an abbreviated version of what had transpired over the last couple of weeks—the conversation with Tim, her meeting with milquetoast HR lady, feeling like she couldn’t say two words to M.J. outside of class.

  “That is fucking ridiculous.” Gina’s raised voice made Liam stir. She started bouncing him and pacing, which seemed to soothe him. She lowered her voice. “Completely fucking ridiculous.”

  “Thanks.” Olivia related the one interaction she’d had with M.J. she thought maybe could have been misconstrued.

  Gina shook her head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like a simple misunderstanding to me.”

  Olivia rocked Jacob, enjoying the faces he made in his sleep. She hadn’t planned on saying anything about her suspicions because she knew Gina would flip out. But if Gina already had that thought in her head, she wasn’t likely to let it go anytime soon. She cringed a little in anticipation.

  “What? Do you smell poop? I just changed them, so it might be gas.” Gina lifted Liam and smelled his rear end.

  “No. Gerald.”

  “What about Gerald?” Gina stopped pacing and looked at her.

  “When M.J. came to my office to talk about
her parents, Gerald was there.”

  “Like in your office?”

  Olivia could see his face, the disdain for students he considered needy. She remembered her irritation, getting in a dig. Could that have been enough to set him off? “No, when M.J. left, he was hovering outside my office. I don’t know if he saw something or if he decided he wanted to see something. And I don’t know if it was him. He’s the only one I can think of.”

  “Fucking son of a bitch.” Gina resumed her pacing. “Well, I’d put nothing past him. Especially if it stood to benefit him in some way.”

  Olivia’s mind turned it over for the billionth time. Did Gerald dislike her that much? Did he have something to gain? “I don’t see what it could be, other than making my life difficult. We had a little tiff, but I don’t think I antagonized him to the point of needing revenge.”

  She could tell that Gina was mulling over the different angles. “You know what? Philip is on the same tenure cycle as you.”

  Olivia couldn’t see what Gerald’s little acolyte had to do with things. “So?”

  “So making you look bad could make Philip look good.”

  The tenure process could feel like a popularity contest, but Olivia was loath to think it might be as fickle as that. “Could that possibly make a difference?”

  “Probably not at the departmental level, but sometimes the university-wide committee will do a compare and contrast if there are two people up from the same department.”

  It seemed insidious, even for Gerald. Not to mention a long shot. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m not saying he did, or that if he did that was his motive. I’m saying you should watch your back.”

  “Yeah.” Olivia hated it, but Gina was right. “Thank you so much for listening.”

  Gina set Liam in a bassinet that had been placed in the corner. “I wish you’d told me sooner. I mean, I get it, but I wish you’d told me sooner.”

  “You’ve had your hands full.” Olivia handed Jacob to Gina, who set him down next to his brother. “Hopefully, it will be over sooner rather than later, but I didn’t want to chance you hearing about it from someone else.”

  “If anyone dares whisper anything to me, they’ll have a black eye to show for it.”

  Gina was kidding, but it was nice to hear. “You’re the best.”

  “I know. I’m also dying to hear about Joss. You guys seemed awfully cozy when you visited at the hospital.”

  “Yeah.” Olivia flashed to the conversation she and Joss had after the hospital. “We’re good.”

  “Are you in love?”

  Olivia sighed. “Yeah.”

  “But?”

  “I’m not sure she’s in the same place. I think she might be getting there, but I’m not sure.”

  “I’d say anyone who spends half the night keeping you company in the maternity ward waiting room is pretty far gone.”

  Olivia smiled at the memory and their debate over junk food. “I hope you’re right.”

  “I usually am. I’m also starting to get stir-crazy. We agreed to start venturing out once the boys hit four weeks. Maybe our first outing can be to your house.”

  “It really is in the home stretch. The upstairs was finished right before the boys were born. Most of the furniture is in, floors done, walls painted. I’m just waiting on the stove.”

  “Still on backorder?”

  Olivia sighed. “Still on backorder.”

  “And no other stove will do?”

  “You know me. Once I have my heart set on something…”

  “Wait, are we talking about the stove, or about Joss?” Gina always knew exactly what to say.

  “I’m going to go with both.”

  Olivia peered in on the boys before leaving. She seemed to be getting her heart set on a lot of things these days.

  *

  By the time Olivia got home, it was after seven. She was so glad that she’d told Gina everything, not to mention spending some time with the babies. She was drained, though, and tempted to crawl directly into bed. Joss’s truck was still in the driveway, which surprised her.

  Joss greeted her at the door with a kiss. “How was your day?”

  “Exhausting. How about you?”

  “It was pretty good. I have something that I think might make you happy.”

  “Whatever it is, I’ll take it.”

  Joss rubbed her hands together. “Close your eyes.”

  “What? Why?”

  Joss rolled her eyes. “I have a surprise for you. Don’t you trust me?”

  Olivia lifted her hands defensively, but laughed. “Okay, okay. Sorry.”

  She closed her eyes. Joss took both of her hands and slowly guided her into the house. Olivia had lived there long enough to know they were heading down the hall and toward the kitchen. Joss led her to what felt like the middle of the room, then turned her toward the island.

  “Open.”

  Olivia did as she was told and found herself looking at a stove. No, not a stove. The stove. The stove she’d set her heart on that turned out to be on backorder. The stove that had held up completion of the kitchen for nearly a month. It was top of the line and completely modern, but designed to look like an antique, complete with white enamel finish and side-hinged oven door. It was beautiful. “Joss.”

  “I know. I was skeptical at first, but it really is cool, and perfect for this room.”

  “It is perfect. I love it.”

  “It literally came in this afternoon. I called in a couple of favors to get it brought straight here. I haven’t had a chance to hook it up yet, but I knew you’d be excited to see it.”

  “I am. Thank you.”

  “I’ll connect the gas lines and do all the safety checks in the morning if that’s okay with you.”

  “Of course.”

  “I didn’t want to invite myself to stay, but I picked up some steaks to grill for dinner, along with stuff for salad. With everything going on, I wanted you to be able to have a relaxing evening.”

  Olivia looked at Joss and her chest grew tight. Joss seemed to know exactly what she needed, even when she didn’t always know herself. It was the first time in her life she’d been with someone like that and it still caught her off guard. Combined with the emotional roller coaster that had been the last few weeks, Olivia felt herself tumble over the edge. Before she could stop herself, the tears started. “That sounds great.”

  When Olivia began to cry, Joss panicked. She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Olivia. The gesture seemed to make things worse; Olivia’s whole body shook with sobs. “I’m so sorry. I thought the stove would cheer you up.”

  “It did cheer me up.” Olivia choked out the words one at a time as she continued to cry. Joss could barely understand her.

  “Okay. What is it then? Did something bad happen?” Joss hadn’t pressed Olivia to talk about things at work. She was confident everything would work itself out. The possibility that wasn’t the case made her stomach turn uncomfortably.

  Olivia sniffed, took a couple of choppy breaths, and pulled away. “No, nothing happened. I’m just on edge. And you’re being so sweet to me.”

  Joss studied her. Even with splotchy cheeks and smeared mascara, Joss thought she was the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen. “Hey, I didn’t do anything special. I love you.”

  It was only after seeing the look on Olivia’s face that Joss registered what she’d said. Olivia blinked a few times, but didn’t say anything. Joss couldn’t decide if it was better to backpedal or plow forward. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  Olivia tipped her head to one side. “Didn’t mean to say it or didn’t mean it?”

  Could her timing be any shittier? Joss knew she was in love with Olivia from the moment they talked about building a family. The night had already been so intense, she hadn’t wanted to add another layer to it. Then the investigation started and everything seemed up in the air. She was planning to wait until the dust settled, th
en plan something romantic. With that plan now squarely out the window, Joss knew she couldn’t withhold her feelings. Nor was she going to lie about them. “I didn’t mean to say it, not like this.”

  It was still impossible to read Olivia, to know what she was thinking. “Not like how?”

  “Not casually, not while everything is still going on at work.” She touched a hand to Olivia’s cheek. “Not when you’re teary-eyed.”

  Olivia let out a small chuckle and smiled. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong. It is absolutely the most perfect time to say it.”

  Olivia threw her arms around Joss and squeezed. Joss felt a wave of relief wash over her. Or at least as much relief as she could feel without having Olivia say it back. “I’m glad.”

  Olivia leaned back and sniffed. “I’m sorry. I’m such a dolt.”

  “You’re not. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You have to let it out.”

  She shook her head. “No, I mean I’m a dolt for not saying it back. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for quite a while, actually, but I was afraid of sending you running for the hills.”

  Relief turned into elation. Joss experienced a swelling in her chest that she hadn’t felt in such a long time. “I love you, Olivia. I’m in love with you and I want to be right here, with you, until the cows come home.”

  Olivia smiled again, although it was more of a grin this time, accompanied by a playful gleam in her eye. “We can get cows?”

  Joss couldn’t help but laugh. “One thing at a time, babe. One thing at a time.”

  Chapter Twenty-six

  The kitchen—and with it, the house—was officially finished. The stove, which had stubbornly remained on backorder even three weeks longer than originally promised, had finally arrived. Joss installed it, connected the gas line, and earned a one-woman round of applause when she tested the burner and got fire on her first try. As frustrating as it had been, it seemed fitting that the final touch was, perhaps, the single most important element of the entire renovation.