by Donna Grant
Chapter Four
I saw you today. It was a joyful event.
And a horrible one.
If it’s possible, you got even more beautiful. There’s an edge about you that wasn’t there before. Did I do that? I fear the answer is yes.
Your smile lit up the room. You’ve always had the brightest light of any Fae, and it draws everyone to you. I tried to keep my distance, but it was like telling myself I could never fly again, even though I have wings.
I had to be near you.
You spoke to me, albeit angrily. I didn’t care because you at least acknowledged me. I came so close to telling you everything that was in my heart. Had we been alone, I might have. I kept telling myself the timing was wrong, but the truth is that I feared you’d tell me that you didn’t love me anymore. That you’d moved on.
If that were to happen, there’s no way I could carry on. The Dragon Kings are strong, but much still needs to be done. And then there’s Ulrik. If I know there’s no future for us, there will be nothing to keep me going. It’s becoming harder and harder to face each sunrise.
Today, I would’ve exchanged a thousand years of my life just to touch you. I would’ve given up all that I am just to have you in my arms one more time.
Constantine broke away from Ulrik and flew to his mountain. It wasn’t a place he spent much time. He had kept away from it while the other Kings slept because he was tempted to do the same. Those first centuries after their clans crossed the dragon bridge and the Kings hid from the humans had been unbelievably agonizing.
But he’d had his brethren to focus on. He’d ignored his anguish over the dragons leaving to put all his thoughts and energy into finding a way to keep the Dragon Kings going. He shoved the fury, the bitterness, and the hostility he felt towards every mortal into a dark corner of his mind and then slammed the door shut on it.
Otherwise, he would’ve gone down Ulrik’s path and destroyed every one of them.
Con descended to land at the base of his mountain. He shifted into his human form, calling his clothes back to him as he did. He looked up at the impressive rock face. He loved every stone, every blade of grass on Dreagan. He’d chosen his mountain for its central location that made it difficult for mortals to access.
He walked to the hidden entrance and stepped inside. His fingers trailed along the tunnel wall as he moved deeper into the mountain. The past half-year, his life had taken a turn, and he actually found himself happy. The fact that he and Rhi were together was a major factor in that. Coupled with his victory over the Dragon Kings’ enemies, and he was ecstatic.
The only thing that put a damper on any of it had been finding out about the twins and not being able to see his children. But that was about to change.
Yet, today, he found his mind drifting to the past, and he wasn’t sure why. He entered the largest cavern in the mountain and sat upon a boulder near the wall, not caring about his suit getting dirty.
Instead of attempting to stop his thoughts, he let them drift to see where they took him. To his shock, they went to when the Warrior, Phelan, and the Phoenix, Aisley, had gotten married. Con and the other Dragon Kings had made themselves known to the Warriors of MacLeod Castle, thus becoming allies.
When the Kings were invited to Phelan and Aisley’s wedding reception, Con had decided to attend. He didn’t know why. He normally shied away from things like that. Avoided them like the plague. And yet, he went to the pub. The moment he walked in, his gaze had been drawn to Rhi where she stood off to the side, tapping a finger on the bar. It had been so long since he had laid eyes on her that his breath had left him in a rush. All the words he’d ever written in his journal bubbled to the surface and were about to fall from his lips when she shot him a disgusted look.
The music blared, laughter and conversation filled the space, and drinks flowed freely. No one noticed him. No one, that is, except for the love of his life—who clearly hated him. For several heartbeats, he’d been unable to move, unable to think.
Then, finally, he approached her. “What are you doing here?”
Her lip curled in annoyance. “Go away.”
Her words cut him like a knife, but given what he’d done to her, he deserved them and so much more. He knew he should leave her alone, but he couldn’t. Once he’d seen her, he had to be near her, needed to hear her voice and look into her stunning silver eyes. “I have every right to be here. Now, answer me.”
He inwardly winced at his harsh tone because he hadn’t meant the words to come out so. He was discombobulated, off-kilter at seeing Rhi after so many centuries. He could barely string two comprehensive thoughts together, much less words.
She rolled her eyes and cocked her head to the side as she raised her brows. “Sod off, dragon.”
The way her hair fell in a curtain made his fingers itch to slide through the silky length. Rhi had always been vivacious and cheeky. He loved that about her. But he also saw the hurt that lingered in her eyes despite her attempts to hide it.
And he was crushed. Because he was the cause of it. It didn’t make him feel better that she was hurting just as he was. In fact, it made him feel worse.
He had to change the subject. Needed to think of something else to say to keep her talking just a little bit longer. Once she left, he wasn’t sure when he’d get to see her again. “I didna believe it at first when I heard that a Fae had approached Phelan.”
In all honesty, he’d secretly hoped it was her.
She lost her attitude and faced him. “What do you want, Con?”
“What do you want with Phelan?”
“He’s a prince.”
Con grunted. “Tell me something I doona already know.”
She glanced down at the little box sitting on the bar. “That is for Phelan to tell you. If he chooses.”
Phelan and Aisley interrupted their conversation. Con barely heard any of the exchange as his eyes were glued to Rhi. He bit back a smile when she shifted so her back was to him, though she had no idea that her hair brushed his hand, and her leg came within inches of his. It was all Con could do not to spin her around and claim her mouth in a kiss that would leave them both breathless.
Con’s attention piqued when he realized that Rhi hadn’t explained something. “How is Phelan your prince?”
Rhi gritted her teeth, her annoyance plain as she swung her gaze to him. “He’s our prince because his male Fae ancestor happened to be the queen’s brother.”
Con knew that, of course, but he wanted Rhi to acknowledge him, even if it was in irritation. He sat back and listened as Rhi, Phelan, and Aisley continued speaking. Then, Rhi waved at them and walked out of the pub.
He wanted to call her back. To race after her. Yet, somehow, Con remained where he was, his heart breaking into a million pieces all over again. He said something to Phelan, but he couldn’t remember what it was, then he left the pub to find Rhi and tell her…everything. Except when he went outside, she was gone.
Con briefly thought about calling her name, but he wasn’t sure she would answer him. He should’ve told her that she looked beautiful. He should’ve said that he was a fool and regretted every day without her in his arms.
He should’ve told her so many things. But the opportunity slipped through his fingers.
You whispered into my heart. You kissed my soul.
Chapter Five
Rhi looked out the window for a sign of Con. He had probably returned while she was engrossed in reading the journal. The words had sucked her in, breaking her heart and making her love him all the more. She stretched her neck after one last look for her mate and returned to the chair.
She glanced at the fire that her magic kept going. Her mug was empty, but she wasn’t interested in drinking more tea when the pages of the journal called to her. Rhi kicked off her slippers and tucked her legs against her as she opened to the next page.
* * *
I walked the Dragonwood today. It was always one of your favorite places. I go th
ere every day. I ignored my duties to wander the forest and remember the times we shared. How you would get so giddy in the spring when the wildflowers blossomed, or during the winter when the snow fell.
I spoke to you, and while I knew you weren’t actually there, it felt good.
I wish I had the nerve to seek you out and explain everything. I attempted an explanation today, but the words fell flat. If I don’t believe them, I know you won’t.
I hold onto the hope that I will be able to tell you all of it someday. I hope you’ll listen. And while you may never forgive me, you should know the truth—one I couldn’t give you when I ended things.
I withheld it from you not because I didn’t think you were strong enough to hear it, but because I wasn’t strong enough to say it. I am the King of Dragon Kings, but I think the magic chose wrong. I can face any enemy without hesitation, but when it comes to you, my love, I tremble. You whispered into my heart. You kissed my soul. And you showed me a love that I never dreamed could be mine.
Because I know I’m not worthy. Because I love you more than you can comprehend.
Because I’ve looked for you my entire life.
I had your love for a brief time. Once a dragon finds his mate, no one can ever replace her. I ache for you, and that pain has sunk all the way into my soul. I keep going because the other Kings look to me for answers. How long can I go without you, though? I know a time will come when I won’t be able to continue on unless I have you beside me.
A dragon without his mate is soulless. Forlorn. The only thing that keeps me going is hope. Hope that I’ll be able to mend the heart I shattered. Hope that your love for me won’t die.
Inside the mountain, Con’s memories shifted to when Denae had come into Kellan’s life. Con, along with Kellan, Kiril, Banan, Rhys, and Henry, had been discussing Denae and who was after her, when Rhi teleported into his office.
She was veiled, but Con had always been able to see through her veils. He had tried to ignore her at first, but it had been impossible with her staring at him. He’d allowed her to eavesdrop on the conversation because he was so happy that she was there.
Then she sank sideways into an empty seat and dangled her legs over the arm of the chair. That’s when she dropped the veil. Con slid his gaze to her. He’d thought she might have something pithy to say. Instead, she stared wordlessly at him. He drank in her beauty, surprised and curious as to why she had come to Dreagan.
“We’ve a visitor, gentlemen,” he told the others.
Kellan’s head jerked to Rhi. “Cheeky. Even for you.”
“It’s been a while, Kell. Nice to see you up and about,” she said with a wink.
Banan merely shook his head, but Henry’s response was like a punch to Con’s gut. Henry, a mortal, was besotted with Rhi at first sight. To make matters worse, Rhi shot Henry a dazzling smile that made Con want to punch his fist through a wall.
“What are you doing here, Rhiannon?” Con demanded.
The sound of her full name made her smile slip. He knew she hated it, which was why he’d used it. Her gaze swiveled to him, and she gave him an icy glare.
“And inside Dreagan,” Rhys said with a chuckle. “Are you trying to start a war?”
Rhi shifted so she sat correctly in the chair. “I’m trying to divert one, actually.”
“Are you helping us?” Kiril asked in surprise.
Her eyes moved from Rhys to Kiril. “Now that you mention it, I don’t have to help.”
Con knew she was about to leave. He was on the verge of repeating her name to keep her there so he could talk to her, but Kellan beat him to it.
Rhi hesitated and looked at Kellan.
“You came for a reason,” Con said. “What is it?”
He couldn’t look away from her. He didn’t care why she had come, he was just happy that she was there. He would beg her to remain if he had to, but that would only get him the opposite response. If he knew one thing about Rhi, it was how to get her to do what he wanted—and that was to make her think he wanted the opposite.
He leaned forward in his chair to rest his arms on his desk, the leather squeaking. “I doona think she has anything to say, Kellan. She came to rile us. Childish, but it worked. You can leave, Rhi. We actually have business to discuss.”
Rhi laughed, but her eyes blazed with fury. She tossed her long, onyx locks over her shoulder. “Business? That’s a laugh. You’re talking about MI5 and Denae. Don’t think to threaten me as if I’m a child.”
“What do you know of Denae?” Henry asked.
Con wanted to slam his hand on the desk. The last thing he wanted was for Rhi to take notice of Henry again. But his question got her attention. When she looked at him, Henry’s mouth went slack.
Con clenched his hands into fists and ground his teeth together as Rhi rose and walked to the human, looking him over as if he were a new toy.
“Rhi,” Kellan warned in a low voice.
She paused beside Kellan. “Who is the mortal?”
In that instant, Con considered ridding the world of Henry North once and for all, simply because his mate smiled at him.
Snapping back to the present, Con rubbed his eyes, wondering why he was traveling down the road of such memories. Yet he found himself recalling when Balladyn had taken Rhi…
They had been going after Sammi, who had been taken by the Dark. Balladyn and Rhi had already had a couple of run-ins, and Con still wasn’t sure exactly who the Fae was to her. Still, it was enough that they had history.
Con had been watching Rhi ready herself to go back into the Darks’ tunnels when Balladyn was suddenly behind her, a blade pressed beneath her chin. Rhi’s eyes went right to him. It was everything Con could do not to react. Every fiber of his being wanted to rush to her side, to shift into his dragon form and douse Balladyn with dragon fire, ending him right then and there.
But Con couldn’t do any of that with Rhi standing so close to Balladyn. All he could do was watch, helpless, as the Dark whispered into Rhi’s ear.
“I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” Balladyn told her while staring directly at Con.
That’s when Con realized that Balladyn wasn’t just after Rhi. He was after him. Con dove for them at the same instant Balladyn teleported himself and Rhi out.
Every day after felt like an eternity, knowing the Dark tortured Rhi. Con feared she would turn Dark herself or be killed—and he wasn’t sure which was worse.
Then, finally, they were in Balladyn’s dungeon searching for Rhi. When he found her, he almost didn’t recognize her. Balladyn was beside her, whispering something that Con didn’t quite catch. Suddenly, the smile was wiped from the Dark’s face as he rose and quickly took several steps back, and Rhi began to glow.
Balladyn teleported out. Con shouted a warning to the others as he started toward Rhi in an attempt to calm her. “Rhi, you need to focus. Think of creating, not destroying!”
She didn’t seem to hear him. When he touched her, her skin burned his. Her head lifted, and the illumination shot from her eyes. Her lips parted. When she screamed, the glow burst from her mouth.
A half-second of silence passed before the explosion shook the very foundation of the compound. Con flew backwards and was instantly trapped by falling rock. The moment the dust settled, he searched the rubble for Rhi. He found her, unmoving. He wanted to get to her and cradle her in his arms, but he wasn’t the one who came to Rhi’s rescue. Ulrik did.
You touched not just my heart but also my soul. As no other has.
Chapter Six
I look in the mirror and see a young face, but it covers that of an ancient being who drifts from one endless day to the next. I cling to the hope of being with you again. I don’t deserve you, but I crave you like I covet the wind over my scales.
The world is in chaos. A constant drone of disorder, war, and anger rages. But then there’s you. The stillness in the storm. The sound of your laughter, the way you used to caress my face, the taste of your
kiss. You touched not just my heart but also my soul. As no other has. You opened a world to me I never thought would be mine.
And then you were gone.
It was my doing. And I regret it every moment of every day.
I let you go, severing the bond of our love for the good of my brethren. Would things have been different had I chosen you? Could I have kept the Kings together even with the jealousy and resentment I saw brewing? Was I a coward to turn my back on you, my mate, for the Kings?
We both know the answer to that.
What I did, I did for my brethren. But I fear it will mean my demise. For I can’t live without you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you.
* * *
Rhi lowered the journal to her lap as she lifted her gaze. She looked out the window to see that the sun had begun its descent in the sky. She couldn’t believe that she had been reading for so long, but Con’s words, written with such raw intensity and naked sincerity had a profound effect on her.
All those years, she’d thought he had forgotten about the love they shared. When in reality, he had suffered and grieved more than she. He’d simply hidden it all behind a mask of indifference. That’s what got her the most. Because she knew that’s what he did when he was hurting. Her wounded heart hadn’t allowed her to see the truth, though.
If he hadn’t finally come to her, if he hadn’t remained by her side even when she told him to leave, they likely wouldn’t be together now. He might have ended things initially, but he was also the one who brought their love back from the grave.
She closed the journal, keeping her finger between two pages to hold her place as her mind began thinking of something she could do for him. Everything Con did, every decision he made, every act, was for those at Dreagan. It was time that someone did something for him.