Archibald Lox and the Forgotten Crypt

by Darren Shan

  “Hi, Cal,” I smile.

  Cal Riser, ex-employee of King Lloyd, now Ghita’s bodyguard, gawps at me, then glares at the others. “If this is what happens when I nip out for a quick burger, I’m glad I didn’t go for a three-course meal.” Then he sits beside me on the couch – the springs creak noisily beneath him – gives my knee a gentle pat and says, “So, what have I missed?”

  10

  It feels surreal to be sitting in a room with Hugo, Inez, Cal, Ghita and Cindy — a king, a camel, a bodyguard, a princess and whatever Cindy is. I want to ask what brought them here, but Inez has questions of her own, and pumps me for information about my run-in with Orlan and Argate.

  I tell them about the lock in Seven Dials, being surprised by the killers, running, slipping through the borehole from London to Diamond, and how the voice directed me from there to here.

  “I can’t believe how lucky I was that the boreholes led me to you guys,” I smile.

  Cindy claps with delight. “He’s so adorably ignorant!”

  That’s not the response I was expecting. “Hang on,” I growl.

  “Is he always this dense?” she asks Inez.

  “What?” I gasp.

  “Most of the time,” Inez grins.

  “Will you please just tell me what’s going on?” I groan, looking at Inez with a pleading expression.

  “I’d like to know too,” Cal says. “How did Archie find us? Do you have one of those mobile phones that I’ve heard about?”

  “No,” Inez says. “He crosshaired and zizzed me.”

  Cal chuckles. “That’s my Archibald, always full of surprises.”

  “What are you talking about?” I snap. “I’ve had a hard day. Don’t tease me with gobbledygook. Just tell me straight up what’s going on.”

  Inez sighs. “The problem is, I’m not sure. But tell me this. Do you really think it’s coincidence that you wound up in Moscow, and that Hugo just happened to be passing when you stepped through the borehole?”

  As soon as she says that, I realise how ridiculous a notion it was.

  “So what drew me here?” I ask quietly. “And how did you know I was in trouble, and where to send Hugo?”

  “It was your doing,” Inez says. “First you crosshaired me. That means you found out where I was. The Merged don’t belong in the Born, and create ripples like radio waves when we cross. Friends of that person can receive those transmissions and zoom in on them.”

  “Something in the Merge muffles the transmissions for anyone who might mean you harm,” Hugo says.

  “That’s why Orlan and Argate weren’t able to crosshair you,” Cal notes.

  “But how does it know?” I ask, confused.

  “Forget about that,” Inez sniffs, and clicks her fingers in front of my nose to get me to focus. “When I wanted to find Hugo, having first travelled to Cornan to pick up Ghita and Cal, I came to the Born and thought about him — Family members transmit here too. Since we’re friends, the Merge allowed me to sense his position – get him in my crosshairs, so to speak – and I was able to follow that trail to Moscow.”

  “I’d been getting ready to explore the Great Steppes,” Hugo says.

  “OK,” I mutter. “I don’t understand all the ins and outs, but I can just about get my head around the concept. But I can’t crosshair. I’m...”

  I glance at Cindy, not sure how much to reveal.

  “It’s OK,” Inez says. “I told her all about you while we were waiting.”

  “I’m Born,” I bleat.

  “Tell me about it,” Inez grunts. “That’s what’s confusing me. Well, that and the fact that you were able to identify the boreholes that would lead you here.”

  “You can’t do that?” I ask.

  “Nobody I’ve ever met can do that,” she says.

  I tell her how I’ve identified boreholes before. “I’ve seen some in London which I instinctively knew linked to places in the Merge that I’d visited, but I’ve never been to Moscow, so I’ve no idea how I recognised the linking borehole in Diamond.”

  There’s a long silence while we think about the impossibility of my being here. Everyone looks confused, except Cal, who treats it as if it’s the most natural thing in the spheres.

  “What baffles me even more than that,” Cindy finally says, “is the way he zizzed you. Zizzing’s complicated, and you can only send simple distress signals. I’ve never heard of anyone who can provide coordinates like this kid did. That was truly beyond.”

  I look to Inez with my eyebrows raised and she sighs. “Zizzing’s a way of using the transmissions we create to let a friend know if we need help. I’ve been taught how to do it, so if I’d wanted to zizz Hugo when I came to the Born, I’d have directed a cry for help towards him and an alarm would have pinged inside his head.”

  “The message would have reached me even if I’d been in the Merge,” Hugo says. “I’d have known that Inez was in trouble, and since we can’t zizz in the Merge, she had to be in the Born, so I’d have come here and crosshaired her.”

  “Zizzing’s extremely limited,” Inez says, “but you not only let me know you were in trouble, but informed me that you’d be popping out of a borehole, and where exactly that would be.”

  I stare at Inez, trying to process what she’s telling me.

  “How did I do it?” I wheeze.

  She shrugs. “If you can’t explain it, nobody can.”

  “It’s beyond,” Cindy coos.

  “It’s perplexing,” Hugo nods.

  “It’s intriguing,” Ghita purrs.

  “It’s just an Archibald thing,” Cal says. Then he slaps his head. “All this talk of crosshairing and zizzing has made us forget our manners. Forgive me, Archibald, I didn’t mean to be rude.” He gets to his feet and rubs his hands together. “I’ll put the kettle on. There’s milk and sugar, of course, but do you want to be really daring and have caviar with your tea?”

  Cal busies himself in the kitchen for several minutes, before returning with a tray laden with a teapot, cups, milk, sugar and a bowl of caviar. As he sets it carefully down on a table, I notice that two fingers are missing from his right hand. He lost them in a fight with Orlan and Argate last year.

  “How come you haven’t restored your fingers?” I ask.

  “I’ve been in the Born most of the time since I last saw you,” he says.

  Ghita tuts. “I told him to let my healers replace the fingers before we left the Merge, but he insisted they fix his moustache instead.”

  “That takes priority,” Cal says, proudly stroking his thick, ginger tash. “I was mortified when those rascals ripped off half of it.” I think Cal’s the only person who could describe Orlan Stiletto and Argate Axe as rascals.

  “That stupid moustache,” Ghita scowls. “What good are you to me when you can’t even make a fist?”

  “I have one good fist,” Cal says mildly, “and I can still do a lot with the other three fingers.” He wriggles them at her.

  Ghita shakes her head with exasperation, then laughs.

  Cal passes round the rest of the cups and pours for everyone, adding milk and sugar as requested. The crockery looks tiny in his massive hands.

  “How about the caviar?” he asks, picking up the bowl. It has a strong, salty smell.

  “How do I eat it?” I ask, dubiously eyeing the mound of black fish eggs.

  “You can use a spoon or spread it on a cracker,” Cal says, “or if you want to try something different, might I suggest adding a couple of spoonfuls to your tea?”

  “Caviar in tea?” The others all turn their heads aside to hide their smiles, but Cal is beaming hopefully, so I have to say yes. I watch nervously as he adds a couple of heaped spoons of caviar to my cup and stirs.

  I sniff the tea – pretty bad – then take a sip. My tongue almost revolts, and I want to spit out the foul liquid, but Cal’s smiling questioningly.

  “Delicious,” I gasp, forcing myself to take another sip.

  “There
!” he booms. “I knew you’d like it. You have good taste, Archibald. King Lloyd loved caviar in his tea as well.”

  “He really didn’t,” Ghita murmurs, leaning forward in her chair so that Cal can’t hear. (He’s piling several spoons of fish eggs into his own cup.) “Lloyd said it once as a joke, but Cal thought he was being serious.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t gag,” Inez whispers. “Swallowing a second mouthful was probably the bravest thing you’ll ever do.”

  “My hero,” Ghita simpers, squeezing my knee.

  The contact makes me tingle. The last time we met, Ghita joked that she’d bear me in mind if she was ever looking for a boyfriend. At least I thought she was joking, but maybe...

  I imagine what it would be like to have a princess for a girlfriend. I flash on an image of the two of us standing somewhere romantic, and trying to find the courage to ask her for a kiss. The mere thought of it makes me shudder, and I spill some of the caviar-laced tea.

  “Careful, Archibald,” Cal tuts. “Let me make up for that.” Before I can stop him, he adds another dash of tea to the cup, along with two more spoonfuls of caviar.

  “Bottoms up,” he toasts me.

  “Cheers,” I wheeze, tipping the rim of my cup towards my mouth, eyes watering from the salty smell. And as the liquid slips between my lips and touches my tongue, I can’t help wondering if I’d have suffered less if I’d stuck with Orlan and Argate.

  11

  I sip as little of the caviar-laced tea as I can without causing Cal offence, then turn talk to what the Merged are doing here.

  Cindy’s smile fades. “I know he’s your friend,” she says to Inez, “but do you really think we should share this with him?”

  “If we’d met by chance, I wouldn’t have involved him,” Inez says, “but while his run-in with Orlan and Argate has nothing to do with our plot, they’ve played him into our orbit and he’s part of this now.”

  “How so?” Cindy frowns.

  “Archie lives in London,” Inez says, “but we can’t send him back home.”

  “Why not?” I ask.

  Inez arches an eyebrow at me. “You said they were circling the streets, searching for you.”

  “That’s what they told me,” I nod.

  “Do you think they’ll quit now that you’ve given them the slip,” she continues, “or return to London to search for you again?”

  I hadn’t considered that.

  “Rachel and George,” I whisper. “I can’t disappear again without telling them...”

  Inez shrugs. “You can go back if you like, but I’d suggest you give London a wide berth for now. It’s not safe for you there, and it won’t be safe for your foster parents either if the killers catch you while you’re with them.”

  I gulp. “Could I ring and...?” I stop, not knowing what I’d say to them.

  “You reached out to me, even if it was subconsciously,” Inez says softly. “I’m happy to shelter you, but you’ll have to stick with me if you want my protection, and my journey’s about to take me back to the Merge. Do you want to come or not?”

  I’m torn. I long to return to the Merge, but if I go, there’s no telling when I’ll make it back, or even if I will, as I get the sense that Inez is involved in another dangerous mission.

  “It’s not his call to make,” Cindy says coldly. “I decide who joins us or not.”

  “That’s true,” Inez says, “but if you reject Archie, I’ll rule myself out too.”

  “But you already agreed to help,” Cindy yelps.

  “Friendship comes before everything else,” Inez says.

  Cindy gawps at Inez, then studies me suspiciously. Finally she sighs. “Fine. If he wants in, he’s in.”

  “Archie?” Inez says. “Do you want to go home or stick with us?”

  “It depends,” I say quietly.

  “On what?” Inez asks.

  “What I’d be getting into,” I tell her. “Why are you here with Ghita and Hugo? Who’s Cindy? What’s the deal?”

  “Well, in short,” Inez says, “we want to protect a prince and save a realm from forcefully falling under the control of the SubMerged.” She laughs, pokes me in the ribs with an elbow, and adds, “You know — the usual.”

  When we’ve stopped chuckling, Inez nods at Cindy, who explains.

  “I’m one of Queen Malina’s envoys,” she says. “I’m like a diplomat. The queen sends me in her place when there’s a delicate matter she can’t deal with personally.”

  Cindy seems like an odd choice for a diplomat, but I don’t point that out.

  “And Malina’s from which realm?” I ask.

  Cindy looks at Inez with incredulity.

  Inez shrugs and says, “Archie’s been to Diamond and Sapphire, and knows a little of those places, but almost nothing about the rest of the Merge.”

  “All the more reason not to involve him,” Cindy grumbles, but when Inez’s eyes narrow, she relents and says, “Malina’s from Topaz.”

  “There’s a lot of ice in Topaz, right?” I say, recalling Winston mentioning it.

  “The boy’s a genius,” Cindy remarks to the room at large.

  “Be nice,” Ghita tuts, and gives my knee a comforting squeeze. As before, that makes me tingle, and I have to force myself to focus on what Cindy’s saying.

  “There are seven royals in Topaz,” Cindy goes on. “King Sheng, Queens Suqi and Malina are Merged. Kings Oki and Joona, and Queen Gaia are SubMerged.”

  “An even split,” Hugo says grimly.

  “Then there’s Prince Hiroto,” Cindy says. “He’s a lovely boy who’s only been in the Merge a handful of years.”

  “He’s being raised by all the royals,” Ghita says. “That’s what happens when a young Family member’s brought to a realm. Every royal has the right to educate and influence them, to try and convince the newcomer that their way is best.”

  “When does the child get to choose?” I ask.

  “It varies from Family to Family,” Ghita says, “but usually after twenty or thirty years.”

  “We have high hopes for Hiroto,” Cindy says. “He’s close to Gaia, but leans more towards the Merged in his general outlook.”

  “Sensible boy,” I smile.

  “But he’s too open about his intentions,” Inez sniffs.

  “Malina had a spy in Reap, the SubMerged capital,” Cindy says. “An agent who’d been there a long time and worked his way up the ranks. He’d become a trusted advisor to a duke who was a member of the Dictate, the governing body in Ruby. Just over a year ago, he got word that plans were afoot to target a pair of young royals, to try and turn their realms’ alignment.”

  “I was one of them,” Ghita says sombrely. “Malina was the person who warned me of the threat and told me to go on the run. If not for her, I’d have fallen to Orlan and Argate months ahead of the vote.”

  “The threat to Hiroto wasn’t as imminent,” Cindy says. “According to Malina’s source, they were still judging him, and were going to allow Gaia a few more years to work on him. But if, at that time, they felt he was wavering, they were going to ensure he never got a chance to decisively side with the Merged.”

  “So if it looks like he might align himself with the Merged, they’re going to kill him?” I whisper, eyes growing round.

  Cindy nods grimly. “Like they would have killed Malina’s spy,” she says. “It became clear to the plotters, when Ghita went on the run, that they had a mole. They started aggressively going through their ranks to root him out. He knew it was only a matter of time before they unearthed him and found out all that he knew, so he...”

  She stops, takes a breath, then draws a finger across her throat.

  “We’re lucky they haven’t fast-forwarded their plan for Hiroto,” Ghita says. “They could have decided to kill him ahead of time, in case the spy had told Malina about their designs for him.”

  “But they can’t be sure if he knew that Hiroto was being targeted too,” Cindy says. “Malin
a has been careful to give nothing away. She hasn’t arranged extra protection for the prince, or acted as if she’s worried about him. It seems to have worked, so we think we still have a couple of years to play with.”

  “Why are they doing this now?” I ask. “If he doesn’t have to make a call on his alignment for another twenty or twenty-five years, what’s the rush?”

  “It’s because of Suqi,” Inez explains. “She’s switched alignment before, and they’re hopeful she’ll do it again. She sided with the SubMerged in her youth, then had a change of heart, but they’ve been courting her heavily in recent years, and it looks like she’s close to rejoining them.”

  “If that’s the case, why bother with the prince?” I ask. “If Suqi takes their side, there’d be four SubMerged royals out of seven. They can call for a vote and change the realm’s alignment then, can’t they?”

  “He’s not so ignorant after all,” Cindy grins.

  “Archibald?” Cal snorts. “Ignorant? You’d struggle to find a sharper boy.”

  “The SubMerged will gain the upper hand if Suqi swaps allegiance,” Cindy says.

  “But it will be a slender majority,” Ghita says.

  “And Suqi could switch again,” Cindy sighs. “She’s always blown this way and that. If Hiroto sides with the Merged, they’d regain their majority if Suqi returned to the fold. But if Hiroto was out of the equation...”

  “...the realm would stay aligned to the SubMerged,” I murmur.

  “Exactly,” Cindy says. “If Suqi joins the SubMerged and Hiroto’s killed in an accident, it won’t matter if Suqi becomes Merged again. The realm will remain under the control of the SubMerged as long as it’s three royals against three.”

  “Wouldn’t there be uproar if a prince was killed?” I ask.

  “Only if we could prove that foul play was involved,” Cindy says. “Even then it probably wouldn’t make a difference. Suqi would be horrified, but we think Oki, Joona and Gaia would overlook it, and since the rule of the royals has to be obeyed, we’d have to accept the situation.”

  “It would be hellish for the poor Topazers,” Cal rumbles.