The Desert Behind Me

by Shannon Baker

  Mom stood up. “I’m not going to listen to this fantasy about a made-up person.”

  “Please. Sit down.”

  She stared at me, clearly debating, and I held her gaze. In a slow movement she lowered herself to her chair.

  “I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her. Of course, I thought Peanut was Bethany and she’d blame me for leaving her alone that night. She’d tell me things I couldn’t remember from the scene, and I knew I’d break.”

  Mom’s eyes filled with tears, so unlike her. “Bethany isn’t a ghost in your head. That’s your disease. It isn’t real.”

  I wiped the tears dribbling off my chin. “I finally talked to Peanut. My little girl. And it made me stronger.”

  Mom shook her head, the tears refusing to fall. “I’m going to call Tara. She’ll prescribe something to help you calm down.”

  I blinked and gathered strength. “I’ve felt guilty and begged to die. I abandon Bethany and her death is my fault and I knew she’d hate me.”

  Mom jumped up and rushed toward the door. “This is ridiculous.”

  I raised my voice so she couldn’t run from it. “I realize Peanut is my mind’s version of my daughter.” I stopped myself from adding that I wasn’t crazy. “But she didn’t blame me.” I choked around the lump in my throat. “She told me she loves me. No matter what. Unconditionally.”

  She raised her gaze above my head, as if tuning me out.

  “Something you and Dad never did.”

  “Oh, please. Are you complaining about being a victim?”

  I gulped my water to calm myself. “I’ve stopped defending you. Peanut reminded me of the neglect. The evenings and weekends I spent alone. All the school events you never attended. The disappointment and lectures when I didn’t perform.”

  She looked disgusted. “You’ve always been weak. If I had been soft it would have ruined you.”

  “I was a child.”

  Her lip turned up. “I learned early to rely on myself. You needed to learn to take care of yourself.” Mom advanced toward me. “I did what I thought was best for you.”

  Relief kissed each word. “The voices started early. First Maggie, the mother. She loved me, was kind to me. Forgave all my faults. Was never disappointed in me.”

  “You can’t blame me for your mental illness.”

  “I needed someone who cared and you and Dad weren’t there.”

  “You have no idea what it was like for women then. Even now, we have to fight for every advancement. Your career was easy because I was there to pave the way for you.”

  “It was never about me. You knew Benjamin Wainright killed Bethany.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “If you’d let them investigate, they’d have discovered you let him out on your early release program. You’d be to blame and might not get reelected.”

  She grabbed the door knob. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

  My control slipped and I yelled at her. “She’d be alive today if you hadn’t chased your career so hard.”

  She whirled around. “It was your fault, not mine.” She advanced on me. “You never taught her how to take care of herself. It was you who left her alone and you who didn’t drive home the lessons to never open the door for a stranger.”

  There was no sign of forced entry. Why had she opened the door?

  The look on Mom’s face was one I’d seen before when an officer had screwed up and made her look bad. Her face could go from the patient, caring mentor to a raging Alpha wolf ready to rip apart a weak pack member. “When she called I told her to lock the doors and windows, pull the shades. She would have been fine if she’d done what I said.”

  My head roared and it took a second to clear. “She called you?”

  Her look of disdain didn’t bother me. “You were on a date. Always putting your relationship with a man ahead of what’s really important.”

  I ignored her lie. “She called you? Why?”

  Mom’s lip curled. “Because she was afraid. She thought she heard noises outside. She was fifteen and had a wild imagination. I thought she got herself spooked. If she’d have done what I said—”

  My voice shook. “She called and you did nothing?”

  Tears finally tumbled from her eyes. “She was always timid and scared, like you. If I indulged either of you by running every time you cried, I’d never get anything else done. How did I know this time was different?”

  I couldn’t distinguish the voices as they wailed. “And you covered it up.”

  “You were so fragile. If you knew all of this, you’d have fallen apart. I had to keep it from you. To protect you.”

  Despite what she’d told me my whole life, I realized now, I was no more fragile than Bethany was timid. It was all lies. My throat ached with screams I suppressed. “It wasn’t for me. It was never for me.”

  One angry swipe took care of her tears. “Everything I ever did was for you. I worked hard, found opportunities, and scrambled after them. All to show you a role model of a strong woman. Someone you could look up to and emulate. You could have followed in my footsteps and even surpassed me. All you wanted was to put in your time and go home to your family. Like a typical woman.”

  My voice was small. “I loved being a mother.”

  “You could have been so much more.”

  I sat back and drained the last of my water, the slivers of ice slipping to the bottom as I set it down. “You’re going to have to leave.”

  She choked. “What?”

  “Cali is being released tomorrow morning and she needs your bedroom.”

  She looked shocked. “That’s ridiculous. You won’t even commit to getting a dog. You can barely take care of yourself.”

  There was no point in arguing. I stared at her in silence.

  Her body snapped. “Fine. Enjoy your special party with your new friends. We’ll talk more later.”

  “No.” There might have been an echo of her in that word. “We won’t talk for a while. Maybe never. I told the investigator about the missing evidence, which Kari will confirm. She knows about you bribing Grainger and the payout to his son. When they hear I’m going to testify, other county officers will come forward.”

  Now her jaw dropped open. She slammed it closed and spewed at me. “After I spent my whole life sacrificing for you.”

  I held up my bandaged hand. “No more.”

  She started to protest.

  “Leave.”

  She paled and stared at me.

  “Now.” Using my good hand, I pushed myself to stand and limped past her, through the open French doors and into the house.

  The doorbell rang and little fists pounded. Through the thin walls came Cheyenne’s muffled shouts, “Let us in!”

  It was long past time for me to do just that.

  Love reading mysteries & thrillers?

  Sign up for the SRP Mystery & Thriller Newsletter. You’ll be the first to know about special offers, free books and new releases from Shannon Baker and the SRP Mystery & Thriller Team.

  Join today at Shannon-Baker.com

  Also by Shannon Baker

  The Desert Behind Me

  The Nora Abbott Series

  Height of Deception

  Skies of Fire

  Canyon of Lies

  The Kate Fox Series

  Stripped Bare

  Dark Signal

  Bitter Rain

  Sign up to get exclusive access to updates, special offers, free books and new releases from Shannon Baker and the SRP Mystery & Thriller Team. Shannon-Baker.com/newsletter

  Thanks for Reading

  Start your next Shannon Baker adventure with Height of Deception, Nora Abbott #1. Be sure to check out the following excerpt.

  But first, I’d like to ask you to join the SRP Mystery & Thriller Newsletter. Just enter your preferred email to receive updates from me and the SRP author team.

  Join the SRP Mystery & Thriller Newsletter HERE

  HEIGHT O
F DECEPTION

  In the remote mountains of Arizona, Nora Abbott’s husband has just been found dead.

  These ancient lands hold a murderous secret. A rural town, filled with Native American history, is being torn apart by corporate interests and corruption. Nora Abbott is caught in the middle, struggling to keep her small business from going bankrupt.

  But when Nora’s womanizing husband is murdered in cold blood, gossiping locals and law enforcement suspect she might be responsible. As allies become enemies and friends become suspects, Nora takes it upon herself to find out who really killed him.

  But in this unforgiving terrain, the price of truth may be too steep...

  Height of Deception is the first of the Nora Abbott mysteries.

  Recommended for mystery and thriller fans of James Patterson, C.J. Box, and J.D. Robb.

  Click here to order Height of Deception, Nora Abbott #1 now

  Turn the page to read a sample —>

  HEIGHT OF DECEPTION: Chapter 1

  Frigid air ripped down her throat, searing both lungs as her heart threatened to burst through her rib cage. Heavy panting announced the pursuer, one step from overtaking her. A final leap put her safely on the ledge.

  He blew past her, not seeing the sheer drop-off beyond the ledge.

  “Abbey!”

  Skidding on his butt, two legs dangled over a 300-foot drop to rocky ground. Nails scrabbled on the cold stone.

  Fear and adrenaline shot through Nora Abbott’s body. She dove toward the edge, her fingers frantic to find purchase. Using all the weight in her lithe frame, Nora flung herself backward to jerk him to safety. Then she closed her eyes.

  “Stupid dog,” she whispered, as she released his collar and hugged the aging golden retriever. Why couldn’t he stay home, snuggled into his warm bed, as Scott had?

  Holding his panting body close in the muted light, Nora turned to the east. She’d nearly missed it. Fearing that failure to be here on time would jinx the day, she half ran the entire three mile uphill hike, something she wasn’t really in shape to do. With just minutes to spare, she knelt on the rough volcanic stone, recovering her pulse and breathing.

  Wait for it. Wait for it.

  Bam!

  Sunrays burst over the silhouetted ridge of Kachina Mountain, warm and welcoming, like a mother greeting her child.

  Joy filled Nora’s mind and heart. This was the mountain’s gift to her. “Thank you.” Her whispered words drifted over the tree tops and the ski lodge below. The sun and the mountain took care of her spirit, and she’d do her best to take care of them.

  Maybe the run up the trail hadn’t brought her as close to death as she felt at the moment, but her heart and lungs still complained, so she decided to sit a bit longer. Abbey, however, stood and shook, moving away from her to sniff and pee.

  Nora rolled her eyes, “Sacred moment terminated.” But the gratitude lingered, throwing a soft blanket over her anxiety.

  She drew in a deep breath and tilted up her face, letting the sun soak in as fortification for today’s battle. How could she not triumph? She was right, and right always won.

  Didn’t it?

  Nora blew out a last breath, then stepped back from the ledge and along the precarious footing that would lead her back to the main path. If she slipped, she’d crash six feet onto the trail. Probably not enough to kill her, but with her luck, she’d strike her head. They’d find her broken and in a coma, and her mother and Scott would fight over her brain-dead body for the next twenty years. Or until Scott gave up.

  Sheesh, Nora. Over-dramatize much? She steadied herself against a chilly rock.

  Woft, woft, woft. Above her head, wings beat the air. Nora looked up and spied an enormous raven sailing over her. Despite the natural glory of her mountain, ravens always seemed sinister. Circling in a wide arc, the black bird came at her like an alpine kamikaze.

  Nora scrambled down to the trail, heart racing once again. Halfway there, her foot slipped and she smashed her tailbone against a rock, sending a shower of knives up her spine, then she slid the rest of the way to the dirt trail, back scraping on a stone.

  Nora groaned in pain. Abbey meanwhile barked like a terrier on meth. His outburst added to her jitters and she started to quiet him. But he wasn’t looking at the vanishing raven. Abbey focused on a point farther into the pine trees and closer to ground level. His hackles rose as he bared teeth,

  Nora turned her head, her hackle-less neck raising hairs of its own. A man stood in distant flittering light. Even from far away the bright blue that accented the stranger’s clothes flared in the forest.

  Nora jumped to her feet, ready to bolt down the trail for the safety of home. She blinked. The figure was gone.

  Nora squinted and drew in her brows. “How in the . . .?” Abbey had stopped barking and serenely picked his way down the steep ledge to the trail. He trotted past her, tongue lolling and tail wagging.

  Nora shook her head. That wasn’t a person, couldn’t be. She glanced around again. Her heart rampaged, even though she told herself her imagination and the spotty light had turned a really big blue jay into a threatening predator.

  A cloud covered the newly risen sun, blotting out the warmth, just as the stupid raven and huge jay had blotted out the peace of her spirit. Didn’t the Navajo believe ravens were a bad omen? Maybe that’s why she didn’t like the things.

  She let out a disgusted breath. Prophecy, bad luck from a broken mirror, and omens existed only in people’s imaginations. She really needed to be more practical than that, especially today.

  But if she didn’t believe in omens, why did she race to within an inch of her life this morning just to greet the sunrise?

  HEIGHT OF DECEPTION: Chapter 2

  The judge, in his polyester robe, slammed the gavel onto the podium. “Court dismissed.” Wordless prattle erupted in the back half of the room.

  Nora’s attorney, Raymond, jumped from his chair and slapped her back hard enough to knock her into next week. “Congratulations!” His arm reared back for another celebratory smack, but Nora sidestepped out of his reach.

  Not sure she trusted the verdict, she asked, “No more appeals?”

  Raymond’s guffaw drowned out the excited chatter of the people exiting the room. “Next stop is the Supreme Court, and that’s as unlikely as snow in July.” A cheesy grin spread across his face as he looked sideways at her. “No pun intended!” He burst into exhilarated laughter.

  Snow in July… The future opened before her, ripe with possibilities, rotten with pitfalls. Focus on the possibilities, Nora. Snow. Wet, life-giving. Not only to her ski business but to the drought-stricken mountain.

  “That’s a good one,” Raymond said. “Now that we won, you can have snow in July, if that’s what you want.” He stepped close again, and his heavy paw landed so hard on her back that her children—if she ever had any—would be born dizzy. “It’s okay to whoop a bit. You just won a landmark case, missy.”

  Raymond had worked tirelessly for almost four years, through appeals and setbacks and the same threats and harassments she’d borne from activists and hell-bent enviros on a mission. This landmark win would skyrocket his career. That made her smile. She raised onto tip toes and kissed his cheek. “You’re brilliant. Thank you.”

  Raymond beamed at her. “Coming from a sweet young thing like you, that makes it all worthwhile.”

  So why didn’t she feel the victory with as much enthusiasm?

  Because Scott wasn’t here to share it with her. Being too tired to catch the sunrise with her hadn’t stopped him from leaving the apartment before she and Abbey returned from the mountaintop.

  He said he’d be here. She glanced at her watch. He was late. Surely that was all.

  Raymond directed her toward the courtroom doors. “The press is gonna set up outside. We gotta get you out there for a sound bite. This will make it all the way to the Today Show, I guarantee it.” He whisked her through a jumble of bodies clustered in the hallway,
muttering, “Excuse me, excuse me.”

  More thumps on the back—thankfully less heartfelt than Raymond’s—and congratulatory exclamations followed her. Not watching where he walked, Raymond pulled her directly into the path of a man striding down the hallway.

  Her shoulder accordioned into him.

  Raymond released her arm and continued toward the media frenzy, not noticing the lost contact.

  A tall, athletic man with sandy blond hair and a serious face reached out to steady her. Her eyes rolled down his plaid shirt, fitted jeans, and worn hiking boots. Not normal dress for the courthouse. Great. An enviro, here to berate me for unnatural acts against the world. She tensed, ready for a fight. People like him didn’t understand that conservation and business didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. She’d prove it to them.

  “Sorry, ma’am.” He hurried past her and down the hall.

  Nora grimaced and glanced over her shoulder at his receding back. She didn’t believe the contact was an accident.

  Still, she’d endured worse than an ignorant shove. Others of his ilk no doubt waited to hurl insults, and hopefully not sharp objects, at her. Tire-slashers, window-smashers, activists who protested each court appearance and sent her death threats lay in wait somewhere outside the courthouse. She scanned the faces in the lobby. Mostly white, well-dressed. Flagstaff’s mayor and business leaders clustered together.

  The court decision to allow manmade snow on Kachina Mountain outside of town ensured the success of Nora’s skiing business, but it would bolster all of Flagstaff’s winter income, too. To some, Nora was a hero.