If We Leap: A What If Prequel
Page 8
“I don’t want to curse Cole.” Glumly, I picked up a spoon and dug into the ice cream. “He’s had enough bad stuff in his life. I’m just so bummed he refuses to admit how good we are together.”
My mother and sister both clucked in sympathy. In the week since I’d walked out on Cole, I’d been trying to ease my sadness with drawing, ice cream, and a trip up to our Heavenly Daze cabin. Nothing had worked. My sorrow over him and everything we could have been was a black-edged shadow surrounding my heart.
“Hey, I have tickets to see Carousel in Boston next Saturday,” Vanessa said. “My friend Sue has a conflict with a bachelorette party, so I’m sure she won’t mind if you use her ticket. We could stay overnight, make a weekend out of it.”
I groaned. The word Carousel reminded me of riding the Ocean Carousel with Cole, his strong arms caging me in on either side, his thighs hugging my hips, my back pressed to his broad chest.
“I guess that’s a no.” Vanessa drew her eyebrows together in commiseration.
“I’m sorry.” I pushed the bowl away and stood. “Thanks for the offer, but I’d be terrible company.”
“Plenty of other men out there,” my sister assured me.
“I don’t want another man.” I picked up my backpack, my heart tightening. “Cole is my chocolate factory.”
“My dear daughter.” My mother hugged me. “Be your own chocolate factory.”
Maybe I could be one day, though that sounded a bit lonely.
After saying goodbye, I headed out into the August sunshine. As I got in the car, my phone buzzed with a text. My heart jumped at the sender’s name.
COLE: Come up to the lighthouse. I want to show you something.
Smothering a surge of hope, I tossed my phone aside and started the car. He’d already blocked my hope and love with a force-field that even the Rebel Alliance couldn’t breach. I didn’t dare open myself up for hurt again.
I drove over the two-laned road to the Castille Lighthouse, which perched on the top of a rocky cliff overlooking the sea. I parked in the circular lot and hurried up the path to the terrace.
Cole was standing by the old granite wall, known as the “secrets wall” due to the notes scrawled with secrets that people left between the boulders. More than once when I was younger, I’d written I have a crush on Cole Danforth on a scrap of paper and pushed it into the rocks. Now, my crush on him was anything but a secret.
A sea wind rumpled his thick brown hair. His blue eyes creased with a cautious smile. My heart began a rhythmic beating, resonant like bells.
I slowed as I approached him, my own wariness sparking to life.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hello.”
“This is for you.” He reached into a paper sack at his feet and brought out a clear plastic bag tied with a bright red ribbon and filled with multiple types of candy.
“What…” I peered at the bag. All my favorites—Lifesavers, gummy bears, Sugar Rush jellies, Starbursts, Jolly Ranchers. All red. “Did you pick out all the red ones for me?”
“I sure did. You might even say I cherry-picked them.” He gave a self-satisfied grin.
I groaned in appreciation. “Thank you. That’s so sweet.”
“This is also for you.” He reached into the bag again and removed the plush raven I’d coveted at the Milk Bottle Toss game booth.
“Aww.” I took the stuffed bird, unable to stop a smile from spreading across my face. “How did you get this?”
He frowned, mildly offended. “I won it, fair and square.”
“Really?”
“Of course. I had to wait until my shift ended and it took me two tries, but it turns out I have a pretty good pitching arm.”
I tucked the bird against my chest. Much as I appreciated the romantic gestures, uncertainty still simmered in my blood. I’d put all my emotions on the line for him and gotten unyielding, hard silence in return. A bag of red candies and a plush bird couldn’t make my lingering pain go away.
“So, I had this big plan to put a secret in the wall and tell you to find it.” Cole stepped toward me, his expression sobering. “But then I realized that would be stupid since I don’t want this to be a secret anymore.”
Butterflies danced in my stomach. “You don’t want what to be a secret?”
“My love for you.”
My heart leapt with a surge of joy so strong it resonated through every part of me. “Oh.”
“Hold on.” He took the candy and bird from me and set them on the wall so he could wrap his big hands around mine. “I have a whole speech for you.”
He took a breath, faint nervousness rising to his eyes. “You were right when you said I had a crush on you when we were kids, but I never believed we’d ever really find our way to each other. And when we did…well, when you threw yourself at me with wild abandon…”
I chuckled, heat rising to my cheeks. He cupped my face in his hand. Tender warmth filled his eyes.
“I’ve never considered myself lucky,” he said. “Not with my childhood or anything else really. But the instant you kissed me, I felt like the luckiest man in the world. And when you actually came looking for me…it was like I’d won the lottery. I couldn’t believe it was happening. That Josie Mays wanted to be with me. And someday I’ll have more to offer you, but right now all I can tell you is that I love you so damned much.
“I give you my heart, my body to do with as you please, and my promise that I’ll always protect you. I love your courage, your strength, the way you squint when you’re drawing, your nerdy knowledge about birds, and the fact that you didn’t let go of my hand when we leapt off the cliff.”
Tears filled my eyes. “You didn’t let go of me either.”
“I never will.” He tightened his fingers on mine, his mouth curving with the beautiful smile that never failed to warm me right down to my soul. “I love you, Josie.”
“I love you, Cole. I have loved you for a very long time.”
He slipped his hand under my chin, lifting my face to his. Our lips met in a warm, lovely kiss that made my entire being glow with light. Tears slipped down my cheeks. He eased back, brushing my tears away with his thumbs before digging into the pocket of his jeans.
“Triple ply.” He proudly held up a thick white tissue. “With lotion, aloe, and vitamin E.”
With a laugh, I took the tissue and wiped my eyes.
“Cole Danforth, you really are my hero.”
* * *
It was our happy ever before.
For the next year, we wrapped ourselves around each other like a ball of yarn. We were tender and volatile. We argued about miscommunication, my absent-mindedness, his tendency to make plans without asking me first. We laughed until we cried. We went hiking and swimming. We played checkers and studied for classes. We had wild, fulfilling sex. A lot. We moved in together, scrimped, saved, and planned for the future.
Cole Danforth was my first crush, my first lover, my only love. In my girlhood days when I’d dreamed about a lifelong love, he’d been the one who always came to mind. The one I wished for. And in my twentieth year, I lived with a translucent, shimmering wish come true.
Then the wish ruptured, exploding from the inside, firing shards of metal straight through my heart. From the burnt ashes, a new wish formed, misshapen and ugly.
I wish I’d never known Cole Danforth.
* * *
Thank you for reading IF WE LEAP!
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Click here to read more about Josie and Cole in IF WE FALL.
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Josie and Cole’s story continues in IF WE FALL and IF WE FLY.
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About the Author
New York Times & USA Today bestselling author Nina Lane writes hot, sexy romances about professors, bad boys, candy makers, and protective alpha males who find themselves consumed with love for on
e woman alone. Originally from California, Nina holds a PhD in Art History and an MA in Library and Information Studies, which means she loves both research and organization. She also enjoys traveling and thinks St. Petersburg, Russia is a city everyone should visit at least once. Although Nina would go back to college for another degree because she's that much of a bookworm and a perpetual student, she now lives the happy life of a full-time writer.
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www.ninalane.com
Acknowledgments
Thank you a million times over to the following incredible people for never failing to help me out of the convoluted maze of writing in which I so frequently find myself: Stacy Jerger, Cathy Yardley, Jessa Slade, Lea Ann Schafer, Corinne DeMaagd, Kimberly Kessler, and Kelley Heckart.
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Danielle Sanchez of InkSlinger PR, thank you so much for your energy, support, and efforts on my behalf.
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Thank you again, MJ Fryer, Maria D., and Rachel B. for your time, honesty, and staying so steadfastly in my corner. Thank you, Nina’s Ninjas, for sticking with me all this time, especially during the downtimes. Knowing you’re all there is an enormous comfort and source of happiness for me.
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As always, thank you so much to my loyal readers. You are the reason I write.
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