Bad Love

by Jaci J

  She may not be, but for some sick and fucked-up reason, I am.

  Shay is serious and detailed, taking her time. I can tell whatever she’s tatting on me is small, but she’s serious about it.

  “I’m done,” she declares thirty minutes later.

  “You want me to look?” I stand up and wait for her to give me the go ahead.

  When she nods, I walk over to the mirror.

  On my chest, between a tattoo of my mom and a few other ones, is Shay’s. It’s a tree, done in black and green watercolor style, her name hidden in the branches. It’s small, but powerful.

  “You like?” she asks, watching me.

  Leaning down, I kiss her, and I kiss her fucking hard. “I fucking love it, baby.” Hands around her waist, I grab her ass, squeezing. “But now it’s your turn.”

  Her eyes go wide. “Should I be scared?”

  “When it comes to me? Always.”

  27

  Shay

  Lying on Niko’s table, I lick my lips, the ones he just kissed, and roll over to my side like he told me to. Tucking my one arm under my head, I put the other one over it, getting myself ready. I’m topless, in only my panties, letting this man tattoo me. I don’t ask questions or give him directions. I give him free rein with my body.

  “This is gonna be cold,” he tells me, cleaning my skin, the skin on my ribs inches from the side of my boob.

  Niko wipes my skin clean, carefully and thoroughly.

  “This is gonna hurt.” He touches the area he just cleaned with his gloved fingers. “You gonna be brave for me?”

  “I’m not going to cry if that’s what you’re worried about,” I laugh softly, eyes closed, ready and waiting.

  “Ready?”

  I bite my lip, a little nervous, and nod.

  He puts the needle to my skin and waits for a reaction, but I don’t give him one.

  It stings, but not horribly.

  “Okay?”

  “It hurts, but not like I thought.”

  “What’d you expect? I wouldn’t do something to you, to your body, that’d hurt you.”

  “I know, but I figured it’d be horrible. It just stings, but in a weird way.”

  “You’re brave, baby. Tell me when and if you need a break.”

  I watch his face as he works. His glasses on, brow furrowed in concentration, his eyes hard and seriousness.

  There’s music playing in Niko’s room, some old-school Dre. I know he put it on for me, because I know it’s not for him.

  “Still doing okay?” He stops the gun and looks at me.

  The pain is tolerable, but also annoying in a way that an itch you can’t scratch is. I’m desperately excited to see the end result.

  “You’re very serious,” I tell him, watching his face. “You’ve got your glasses on.”

  “It’s gotta be perfect.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s on your body, and every time you look at it, you’re gonna think of me. I want it to be fucking perfect when you do.”

  After he gets back to work, he asks, “Will you do something for me?” his voice barely audible over the buzz of the gun.

  “Sure.”

  “Come to dinner at my mom’s. She wants to meet you. I want you to meet her.”

  I blink a few times, slowly. “Really?”

  “Yeah, Shay, really.”

  “Why?”

  “Why the fuck not?”

  “Niko.”

  “You know goddamn well why, Shay. I fucking told you I want you. I want you around, and I want you in my life.”

  I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “Okay.”

  “There she fucking goes with that okay bullshit again,” he mutters. “You know you’re a pain in the ass, don’t ya baby? And I swear to God, you enjoy every second of giving me a hard time.”

  “I do.”

  Over an hour later, the pain has turned into a dull, numb irritation. Niko’s offered me breaks, water, and food, but I’m not interested. I just want to see the finished product.

  Niko stops, stepping back and switching off his tattoo gun. “I’m done.” After cleaning off my side and pulling off his gloves, he gives me his hand, helping me to sit up. “Take a look.”

  Walking up to the mirror, I don’t look right away. Instead, I look at Niko, look at his reaction to my new tattoo. His eyes are hard, but warm. He likes it. He likes that his mark is on me for life, never to be erased or replaced.

  I like it too.

  Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes, looking in the mirror.

  On my skin is a hand—black and white, and intricately shaded, with the letters L.O.V.E. on the knuckles. Niko’s hand. But each finger fades into a skeleton, decrepit and wasted away. The skin peeling away to show bone.

  I fucking love it.

  “It’s amazing.”

  “Not too gruesome for you?”

  “Never.”

  I watch as he wraps it up, careful not to hurt me.

  “Good, because it looks goddamn good on you.”

  Niko

  “MA?” I HOLLER, WALKING into her house. It smells like it always does in here—like dinner.

  Walking through the kitchen, I see the back door wide open, and a basket of laundry on the table.

  Shay’s got a good hold on my hand, her fingers laced between mine, squeezing. She’s nervous, but she follows me through the house.

  “You’re gonna break my hand, baby,” I tease, squeezing hers back carefully.

  She laughs quietly. “I know. That’s what I’m trying to do.”

  She’s such a little shit.

  Pulling on her, I tug her into me, her back against my front, wrapping my arms around her middle. “You’re lucky we’re at my mom’s place or you’d be gettin’ it.”

  “Gettin’ what?” I can hear the challenge in her question.

  “A hard fuck.”

  Shay tsks me, pushing her ass back against my cock, grinding against me. “You wish, buddy,” she huffs, patting my arms like I’m a child.

  “Jesus, you’re a fucking brat.”

  She laughs again, lifting a slim shoulder. “I know.”

  “You know?” I growl, my face in her neck and hair, nipping at her skin.

  “Stop,” she yelps, but not putting up much of a fight. “We’re at your mom’s house.”

  I don’t give a fuck where we are. If I want to put my hands on her body or my mouth on her skin, I fucking will.

  “I know where the fuck we are.”

  “Niko,” she moans, reaching behind her and between us to fist my dick through my jeans. Her touch makes me jerk and my cock swell.

  “Keep that shit up, and I’m taking you upstairs to my old bedroom and bending you over my old twin bed with the Spiderman sheets on it.”

  Shay bursts with laughter, doubling over my arms. As much as I want to fuck her, I also want to make her laugh just as much. The sound is fucking beautiful.

  “You’re out of luck, buddy. I’m more of a Batman kind of girl.”

  “So, what you’re saying is, if I put on a black cape, you’ll drop to your knees and suck me off here in my mom’s kitchen?”

  She nods, still laughing. “Gotta be wearing the utility belt too.”

  “Done.”

  “Son?” My mom’s voice interrupts us, making Shay push me away, like she doesn’t want to be caught with me.

  “Ay!” I shout back. “We’re in the house.”

  “We?” my mom hollers back, and I can already hear the excitement in her voice. Jesus.

  Shay straightens immediately, trying to pull away from me. Not a goddamn chance in hell I’m letting her get away. I don’t give a shit who’s in the room, my hands are on Shay always.

  “Hey, Ma,” I greet her, watching her drop the basket of laundry onto the kitchen floor when she gets a look at the two of us.

  My mom walks farther into the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear. “Is this her?” She walks right up
to Shay and pulls her out of my arms and into hers.

  The woman doesn’t do personal space or normal introductions. Any person that comes into this house is family in her eyes, and she treats you as such.

  I haven’t told my mom about Shay, but my asshole brothers have.

  “This is Shay,” I tell her, picking up the basket and setting it on the washer in the corner.

  “Oh, Shay! It’s so nice to meet you.” My mom pulls back, but doesn’t let Shay go. She just wants to look at her. “You’re so beautiful,” she beams, touching her hair.

  Shay smiles, looking at me quickly from over her shoulder. I don’t know what she’s looking at me for. Not even I can save her from my mother.

  “Thank you,” Shay murmurs, blushing.

  “Are you hungry, honey? I’m making roasted chicken for dinner. You’re staying for food, yes?”

  “Yes, and that sounds great. Do you need a hand?”

  Shay could have just offered my mom a million dollars with the way her face lights up. There’s nothing my mom loves more than someone helping her in the kitchen. “Absolutely. Can you peel potatoes?”

  “Definitely.”

  My mom and Shay sit down at the table, and instantly my mom starts to vomit every horribly embarrassing story from my childhood. I might be thirty-one, but she couldn’t give a fuck less. She lives for this shit.

  “Enough of the stories, Ma.”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “I will tell all the stories about my sweet little Nikolai I want, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  Shay smirks at me from behind my mom. Little fucking brat.

  28

  Shay

  In the kitchen at Niko’s mom’s house, we’re all sitting around her well-loved table. Niko’s brother is at one end, his mom at the other, while Alek sits across from me and Niko. We’ve been passing around food and filling our plates as Niko’s mom, Marina, insists we take more. The food is delicious, and the conversation just as good. Marina is lovely, the mother I never really had but always wanted. Niko and his brothers are going at it, tossing insults and curses at each other, all while Marina threatens them with her wooden spoon. I feel for the woman. These men are terrible, and I can only imagine how it was when they were young boys. I’m surprised she has all her hair and sanity.

  Niko is sitting next to me, one hand holding a beer, while the other slips between my legs, resting on my thigh. His thumb strokes my leg, softly and reverently. Every so often, he looks at me, making sure I’m okay, and when I smile, he goes back to bantering with one or both of his brothers.

  As loud and as crazy as it is here, I love it. I feel right at home.

  “So, when’s the wedding?” Andre, Niko’s oldest brother, asks me. I almost choke on my drink of water. He’s a big guy, about as big as Niko, but more menacing, more intimidating, if that’s even possible. He’s at the head of the table, kicked back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, watching and waiting for me to answer. “Because fishin’ season just started, so if you want me there, you better wait until Summer.” Andre looks at Niko, and then at my hand.

  I won’t lie and say the mention of marrying Niko doesn’t make my heart bottom out in the pit of my stomach, but it also makes me extremely nervous.

  “Jesus, Andre, will you shut the fuck up?”

  Marina stands up and shakes her head, her eyes up on the ceiling like she’s looking at God. “You boys are going to send me to the grave early.” She looks at Niko. “But your brother is not wrong. You should not be single, son.”

  Niko looks at me with apologetic eyes, but I can’t help myself. “I don’t know. I’m still waiting for Niko to get me a ring and down on one knee,” I say, looking at him, watching the way his sympathetic eyes change to hard, irritated dark brown orbs in the blink of an eye. His fingers dig into my flesh, making me jump.

  “Never thought my girl would go against me, gang up on me with my mom, but now I know how this relationship is really gonna go,” Niko growls, licking his lips. “Can’t trust none of y’all.”

  Marina rolls her eyes, turning her back to us and putting her dish in the sink. I use the moment to look at Niko. “Your girl?” I mouth, unable to keep the surprise off my face.

  Niko leans toward me, his lips inches from my ear. “Not if you keep this shit up,” he growls, his hand sliding farther up my leg, his grip tightening.

  I open my mouth to say something smart, but Niko shuts it down with a quick, hard kiss.

  “Niko, you wash dishes,” Marina tells him, walking over to him and handing over the sponge. She gives him a look only a mom could give, because Niko doesn’t say a damn thing. “Alek, you vacuum.”

  Alek frowns. “What about Andre?”

  Andre smirks. “Sorry, little bro. I’m headed back to the boat.”

  “Your brother works early. He needs sleep,” Marina says, patting her eldest son’s shoulder.

  “He needs a boot up his ass,” Alek mutters, following his mom into the other room, socking Andre on the way by.

  “Good to meet ya, Shay. See you later, asshole,” Andre chuckles, following his brother and mom out of the kitchen.

  Niko just snorts, waving his brother off while finishing his beer.

  Grabbing the sponge from Niko, I get up and take my plate to the sink. It feels weird not to help, especially since Marina is handing out chores.

  “The fuck you doin’?” Niko questions, getting out of his chair and walking up behind me at the sink.

  He slips his arms around me, both of his hands flat on my stomach, pulling me back against him.

  “So, I’m your girl now?” I ask, turning to look up at him.

  Niko gives nothing away with his face, but he says, “I fucking told you I’m done sharing you. I brought you here. You’re mine. End of fucking story.”

  As gruff as that was, and as unromantic as the setting, I still melt.

  I’ve dated a lot over the years, and I’ve failed miserably, but none of them have made it this far. None of them have felt quite like this, because none of them were Niko.

  “That was highly romantic,” I retort, scrubbing a plate in the sink under the running water.

  “What do you want? Flowers and a candle?”

  “Just one candle? Am I not worth at least two? Maybe three?”

  He growls, one hand on my stomach slipping under my shirt and up my body. His hand slides under my bra, his rough, calloused fingers gripping my breast. “I’m not doing romantic with you, Shay.”

  Slightly disappointed, I ask, “You’re not?”

  “You really want sweet and soft from me, baby?” His thumb brushes back and forth against my sensitive nipple.

  “No,” I breathe, setting down the plate in the sink before I drop and break it.

  “My girl gets it exactly how she wants it, how she needs it. Rough and hard.” His voice is thick and gritty. I can feel it between my thighs.

  “We’re in your mom’s kitchen,” I groan, losing the fight.

  Niko chuckles, turning me around and grabbing my hand. “You need a locked door?” he smirks, pulling me toward the staircase in the hall.

  “Niko—"

  “No,” he growls, scooping me up and over his shoulder. “I don’t give a shit where we are. If my girl wants some dick from me, then I give my girl some dick.”

  I want some dick.

  Niko

  I WON’T LIE, THIS HAS been a goddamn dream of mine since I hit puberty. Fourteen and horny as fuck, I couldn’t wait to get a girl in my room alone and behind a locked door. Never fucking happened because my mom was strict, but now that shit is coming true.

  Shay is on my old twin bed, lying on my old football sheets. I’ve got her jeans crumpled on the floor somewhere by the door and her panties down her legs, dangling off one ankle. Her shirt’s off and her bra is tugged down. I’m having a fuck of a time not two-pump chumping her.

  She’s beautiful. So goddamn beautiful.

  “That feels
so good,” she moans, her lip between her teeth. She’s got her head thrown back, and my old ass sheets fisted in her hands.

  We’re doing this shit old-school. I’m finger fucking her so I can watch her face when she comes apart. I want to see every fucking inch of her.

  “Jesus, you’re wet, baby,” I tell her, sliding another finger into her tight cunt. She’s got my fingers soaked, and it’s taking everything in me not pull my fingers out and replace them with my tongue.

  I take my time, watching the way she moves, how she sounds, giving her what she wants. I draw it out, driving her fucking crazy.

  I tease her until she’s begging me.

  “Niko.”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Please,” she moans, grinding against my fingers, rubbing her pussy against my hand.

  I want to watch her come, but I want more.

  Pulling my fingers out of her, I grab her waist and flip her over, giving her ass a hard smack. “Up on your knees, Shay.”

  She doesn’t hesitate.

  On her knees, her perfect round ass on display for me, I fist my cock and tease her entrance, playing with her.

  She feels like fucking heaven. Like a goddamn dream. Soft, warm, and wet.

  I push into her slowly, savoring every deep inch.

  “Shiiiit,” she moans, pushing against me. “Deeper.”

  “I’ll give you deep, baby,” I growl, fighting with what little control I have.

  She’s desperate. I’m fucking desperate.

  I pump into her, her ass smacking against my skin. She’s bouncing on my dick, and just like a fourteen-year-old, I’m having a fuck of a time not busting a nut five seconds in.

  She’s beautiful from behind, but I want to see her face.

  Pulling out of her warmth, I flip her over onto her back.

  “You ready for me, baby?”

  She’s got her legs wrapped around my back and I grab one, putting it over my shoulder.

  I’ve got her spread wide for me, wet and needy.

  Sliding back into her pussy, my eyes roll, the feeling too much.

  She’s too tight. Too slick. Too fucking good.