Doppelgänger
Page 1
DOPPELGÄNGER
Also by Daša Drndić
in English translation
* * *
Trieste (2012)
Leica Format (2015)
Belladonna (2017)
EEG (2019)
Copyright © 2018 by Daša Drndić
“Artur and Isabella” translation copyright © 2018 by S. D. Curtis
“Pupi” translation copyright © 2018 by Celia Hawkesworth
All rights reserved. Excerpt for brief passages quoted in a newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or website review, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher.
Originally published by Samizdat B92 in 2002
Published by arrangement with Istros Books, London
This publication is made possible by the Croatian Ministry of Culture
Manufactured in the United States of America
First published as a New Directions Paperbook Original (ndp1457) in 2019
(ISBN 978-0-8112-2891-6)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2019942436
eISBN: 9780811227223
New Directions Books are published for James Laughlin
by New Directions Publishing Corporation
80 Eighth Avenue, New York 10011
Artur and Isabella
Oh. He shat himself.
An ordinary day, sunny. Soft sunlight, wintry. A view of the railway tracks. A view of the customs house, people in uniform. In the distance, a bit of sea, without any boats. A lot of noise: from the buses, from the people. This is what is called a commotion. Beneath the window — commotion. The panes quiver, the windows of his living room. They’re quivering, like jelly, quivering like a small bird. The glass trembles impatiently. He watches. He listens. He’s very still while he listens to everything trembling. He places the palm of his hand on the glass. To check what is actually trembling: whether it’s a little or a lot, whether it’s trembling gently or violently, just the way it trembles — or might it be him that’s trembling? He watches what’s happening outside, down below. Beneath the window it is lively. His window-frame is peeling, the wood is coarse, unpolished. Women neglect themselves, become unpolished, coarse. Especially their heels. Especially their elbows. Especially their knees. Men less. Less what? They neglect themselves less. They take care of their heels. Take care of their heels? How do they take care of their heels?
There are three trash cans under the window. That’s where poverty’s gathered together, below his window. Drunken women gather, cats gather. Life gathers down below, beneath his window. HE is above. Watching. All shat up. His penis is withered, all dried up. The panes are loose. The wood is bare and rotten. Between his buttocks — it’s slippery. Warm. Stinky. It stinks. Sliding down the leg of his trousers. Down both. He squeezes his buttocks, he walks and squeezes, à petits pas. He puts on a diaper. Looks through the window. Here comes darkness. There goes the day.
Diapers. Incontinence, incompetence, incompatibility. He watches gray-haired ladies weeing in their diapers and smiling. They smile tiny smiles and they smile broad smiles. When they give off big smiles, old ladies quiver. Old ladies in aspic. In buses they piss and smile to themselves. In coffee shops, in cake shops, in threes, in fives, sitting at small marble tables jabbering, some are toothless, nattering over cakes, secretly pissing and smiling. Great, happy invention. Diapers. Each one of them is warm between the legs. Just like once upon a time. In their youth. In joyful times. Long ago.
HE looks at his bulge, it’s bulging. Like huge artificial genitals. Inside the bulk there squats a tiny willy, his willy, all shriveled. Dangling. Everything is little. Little meals. Little solitude. Solitude — decrepitude. When the rash appears he powders it with talcum, one should do that, yes, and baby cream rubbed in gently. He strokes the rash between his legs, the inside of his thighs, in circles, tenderly, his willy stands up. (He pomades his wee-covered sons on the island of Vis. Little willies.) His hairs have grown thin. He has very little pubic hair. He’s no longer hairy. Transparent skin. All shriveled. Bald. That’s your portrait.
Look at yourself.
Such silence.
As thick as shit between the buttocks. Dense.
He’s got his features, they have remained. They’re there. Look.
He’s happy.
Everything is so tidy.
SHE steps into the bathtub cautiously because she’s old. The tub is full of bubbles, the water is warm. She runs her hand over her flabby skin, she’s got a surplus of skin, with her hand she runs over her flaccid stomach, her tits are in the way, her tits are a bother, capillaries break, let them break, ah, she wees in the tub. The water is warm.
SHE has a collection of earplugs. The earplugs lie on the edge of the bathtub, neatly, in a little box. She plucks them out with her index finger and thumb. She takes the wax ones, the tiny round ones, dappled with yellow from frequent use, no, with dark-brown earwax. Yuk. This is my earwax. It’s not yuk. It’s my insides. That’s how she thinks. She kneads the earplugs with her thumb and her forefinger, moulds them, sticks one into her left ear, another into her right ear. Like when they push into your bowels, into your arsehole. Plugs for this, plugs for that. SHE is a carapace. A shell is all that’s left.
She leans back in the tub, the edge is cold. She shuts her eyes. She can’t hear any noises from outside. Outside there’s nothing but a white void. A hole. A white hole with a dot on the right. The dot is a passageway, an entrance to her head. A tight entrance. A narrow entrance, small. Through it her days wriggle out. In her head there is a rumbling, a silent rumble like the rattling of a 4 hp Tomos motor bought on credit for a plastic boat bought on credit thirty years ago, oh, happy days. There’s music in her head, her head is full of tunes.
Astrid is a nice name. Astrid is wholesome and fun, Astrid is capable and not very spiteful.
Ingrid is like her, Astrid.
Iris is a nice name. Iris is strange and not very pretty, but she is charming, yes, definitely.
Sarah is pretty and clever. Always lands on her feet. You could call her a loose woman.
Lana is short and bright. She has a wicked tongue. A sharp tongue.
Adriana is stupid.
Isabellas are good and gentle. Isabellas are special beings. Isabellas are sad because there are terrible people in the world. Isabella, that’s me.
Isabella likes to paint. Isabella loves color. She doesn’t like brown. White doesn’t exist for her. Isabella has talent. Being an artist for a living was not something to be taken seriously.
Isabella loves acting. Isabella has been acting her whole life. My real self I keep only for myself, thinks Isabella.
Isabella loves photography. She believes that photographs are frozen memories. Isabella never smiles in photos.
Isabella loves running. She runs whenever she is in a bad mood. Running allows her time for thinking. When she runs she has the impression that she clears away her problems. She runs fast. Recently, since she turned seventy-seven, she isn’t as fit as she once was because she doesn’t have so many problems. That’s why she hasn’t run recently.
Today Isabella did some drawing. There was a lot of black. The water’s getting cold. Isabella adds warm water. She must get out; she’s all wrinkled.
The mirror’s misted up.
The old woman asks herself, what’s that? What kind of distorted image? From now on I’ll dream of garden gnomes, from now on I’ll dream f
airy tales, Isabella decides. Isabella is drying her heels. Her heels are soft and smooth. Isabella is proud of her smooth heels. She never scrapes them yet they’re always smooth. The skin of her heels is thin. Fine.
Isabella has never told stories to anyone. Isabella is alone.
HE and SHE will meet.
They don’t know it, they don’t know they’ll meet while they’re getting ready to step into the night, into the night of New Year’s Eve, bathed and old and dressed up and alone, as they are preparing to walk the streets of this small town, a small town with many bakeries, an ugly small town.
It’s New Year’s Eve.
It’s now they’ll meet, now.
He’s seventy-nine and his name is Artur.
FROM POLICE DOSSIERS
SECTOR: SURVEILLANCE OF MILITARY OFFICIALS – MEMBERS OF THE (FORMER) YUGOSLAV PEOPLE’S ARMY
SUBJECT: Artur BIONDI(ć), RETIRED CAPTAIN OF THE YUGOSLAV NAVY.
FILE: 29 S-MO II a/01-13-92 (Excerpt)
Artur Biondi(ć), born in Labin, 1921. Extramarital son of Maristella Biondi(ć) (deceased) and Carlo Theresin Rankov (deceased). The father of Artur Biondi(ć), Carlo Theresin Rankov (deceased), was born in 1900 on the shores of the river Tanaro, as the extramarital son of Teresa Borsalino, co-owner of a hat factory in Alessandria, and the Serbian military officer of the Austro-Hungarian army under Ranko Matić (deceased).
Artur Biondi – widowed since 1963. Father of two (legitimate) sons, now adults. Retired captain of former Yugoslav Navy. Stationed on the island of Vis until 1975. Citizen of the Republic of Croatia. Inactive since 1980. Lives alone. Constitution prominently asthenic. Height – circa 190 cm, weight – circa 80 kg. Asocial. Suffers from epilepsy. Diagnosis: grand mal, epilepsia tarda. Behavior occasionally bizarre. Owns a rich collection of hats and caps. Never leaves his house bareheaded.
Artur is wearing a black hat. The brim is broad. Artur is walking behind Isabella. He’s looking at Isabella’s hair from behind. That’s pretty hair, curly. That’s black hair. It’s swaying. Her hair sways lazily, sleepily. He has no hair. Isabella doesn’t know that, she doesn’t know his name is Artur and that he has no hair. She’ll find out. Artur’s walking behind Isabella. He catches up with her. My name is Artur, he says. With his right hand Artur touches the brim of his black hat as if he’s going to take it off but he’s not going to take it off, he just brushes it: that’s how it’s done. Elegantly. He touches the woman’s bent elbow, bent, because she has thrust her hand into her coat pocket, that’s why it’s bent. His touch is like a fallen snowflake. But there are no snowflakes. There is only the black sky. Happy New Year, Artur.
My name is Isabella.
FROM POLICE DOSSIERS
SECTOR: SURVEILLANCE OF CITIZENS
SUBJECT: Isabella FISCHER, MARRIED NAME ROSENZWEIG.
FILE: S-C III/05-17-93 (Excerpt)
Isabella Fischer, born January 29, 1923 in Chemnitz, Germany. She had an elder brother and elder sister (Waller and Christina) both transported in 1941 to the Flossenbürg concentration camp where all trace of them is lost. In 1940 Isabella Fischer, with her mother Sonia Fischer, née Leder, flees to her relatives in Belgrade. Her father, Peter Fischer, co-owner of the shoe factory BATA, remains in Chemnitz. In Belgrade, Isabella Fischer obtains false documents and with her friend of Aryan extraction – Juliana Vukas – leaves for the island of Korcˇula on April 8, 1941. The mother returns to Chemnitz. In 1943 both of Isabella’s parents are transported to Theresienstadt, then to Auschwitz. Isabella Fischer remains with hundreds of other Jewish families on the island of Korcˇula until September 1943. At the height of attacks on the island, she crosses to Bari by boat. In Bari, Isabella Fischer is taken care of by American soldiers. Isabella Fischer speaks German, Italian, and English. In Bari she meets her future husband, Felix Rosenzweig, co-owner of a chocolate factory in Austria. After the war, she learns through the International Red Cross that 36 members of her close and extended family have been exterminated in the concentration camps of Flossenbürg, Auschwitz, and Theresienstadt. Until her husband’s death in 1978 she lives in Salzburg, after which she moves to Croatia. She has no children. By profession a photographer, she opens a photography studio under the name Benjamin Vukas. In 1988 she becomes a citizen of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia and sells her shop to the Strechen family. She owns a substantial collection of photographs dating from World War II. Pension insufficient to cover living expenses. Receives a regular annuity from Austria of 4.972 ATS per month. Each monetary transfer is accompanied by a box of chocolates and – quarterly – by a pair of women’s seasonal shoes. No relatives.
Applies for Croatian citizenship three times. Application rejected twice. After the intervention of Swiss Government, the request of Isabella Fischer, married name Rosenzweig, is granted on February 1 1993.
My name is Isabella, says Isabella, and then she smiles so that he, Artur, can see her full set of teeth. Artur notices at once that she has her own teeth, and therefore doesn’t have dentures, he thinks, running his tongue across his small left dental bridge starting from the back. Isabella smiles, she smiles, he sees that she, Isabella, has her own teeth. How come? Artur wonders. My teeth are nicer than his, thinks Isabella, because they’re real. My hair is nicer too. I’m nicer all over. And so, without many words, they stroll along. Artur and Isabella, next to each other, trying to walk in step, because they don’t know each other and their rhythms, their walking rhythms, are different, but they are trying discreetly to walk together on this deserted New Year’s Eve, when all the festivities have ended, the street festivities. It is four o’clock in the morning, January 1.
Those are your teeth? Artur asks anyway. Are those your teeth? he asks nervously, and without waiting for an answer he decides: I’ll tell her everything about myself. Almost everything.
They are walking. Along streets empty and littered from the New Year celebrations. Artur says: I’ll tell you everything about myself. We’re not children. The night is ethereal.
You don’t need to tell me everything, says Isabella.
Artur says: I used to work for the Yugoslav Navy. I was stationed on Vis. That’s where I met my wife.
Isabella asks: Were you a spy?
Artur thinks: That’s a stupid question. He says nothing.
I adore spy stories, says Isabella, and skips like a young girl.
My wife had a heart condition. She was confined to her bed. Alongside the Yugoslav Navy I used to do all the housework. I became very proficient. Today I do all the housework without a problem.
How do you iron? asks Isabella
I have two sons, says Artur. My wife died, Artur also says.
How do you cook? asks Isabella. They are still walking. Strolling.
I cook fast and well. I like cooking. Slow down a bit, Miss Isabella. Shorten your stride.
They walk. Artur glances quickly at Isabella, askance, and then at the tips of his shoes. The shoes are old. She glances quickly at him, and a bit at the tips of her shoes. She has pretty shoes, she has pretty shoes, new ones, his are cracked, old.
Isabella says: Why do you have such big hands? You have unexpectedly big hands.
He really does have big hands. When he left the Navy, he worked as a salesman for years.
He says: I really do have big hands. When I left the Navy, I worked as a salesman for years. Listen says Artur and stops. Artur cannot walk and pronounce serious thoughts simultaneously. The woman sits on a stone step of a stone building, next to a shop window. They are on a promenade. The promenade is crowded with shop windows. The promenade is actually crowded with shop windows, one next to the other. There are illuminated shop windows. Illuminated shop windows flooded with light that spills over the stone promenade, so that the promenade shines. The shop windows are lit because it’s New Ye
ar’s Eve, otherwise the shop windows and stores are mostly dark at night because here poverty reigns.
Dark shop windows. Closed stores. Father’s shoe shop is dark. Isabella would like new shoes. New shoes, black patent leather shoes because Isabella is twelve and they’re giving a school dance and she has to be pretty for the dance. Father teaches her, for days on and off. Father teaches her to waltz, they practice listening to an old record of The Blue Danube, they spin, Isabella and Father, Isabella in Father’s arms, it’s safe and warm. Father’s store is called BATA. There’s a poster hanging in the window of Father’s shop, a big poster. The huge poster covers the window. Isabella does not see which shoes she would like to buy. She can’t see. The poster hides the shoes. There are no lights. The letters on the poster are black and big. Isabella reads and secretly peeks behind the poster, she searches for black patent leather shoes. For the shoes she’ll never buy.
On the 21st day of December 1935, in this shoe shop, Ilse Johanna Uhlmann, typist at AEG, purchased footwear from the Jew Peter Fischer.
On the 23rd day of December 1935, Arno Lutzner, a salesman for AGFA, bought a pair of slippers from the Jew Peter Fischer, co-owner of the BATA store.
On the 29th day of December 1935, Johannes Weichert, Head of the Isolation Ward of Chemnitz Hospital, bought three pairs of shoes.
In compliance with Act 2 of the Decree of Prohibition of the Purchasing of Goods in Jewish Stores, issued September 15, 1935, the above-listed citizens are to report at the local police station by noon of December 30, 1935, at the latest.
Citizens are informed that Jewish stores are under constant surveillance by photographers engaged by the local government. Whoever enters a Jewish shop will be photographed and will suffer all the consequences specified by law.
W. Schmidt, Mayor of Chemnitz
Isabella sits on the yellow bench in the park, opposite her father’s BATA shoe shop, singing along to “The Blue Danube.” Singing. The bench has been newly painted. The dance is canceled. The dance has been canceled for Jews. The school is closed. The bench is yellow. Isabella doesn’t go to school anymore. Isabella goes into her father’s shop and sits there, she doesn’t want to sit on the yellow bench, she wants to sit among her father’s shoes. In the dark shop. In the deserted shop. It is the winter of 1935.