Can You Forgive Her?

by Anthony Trollope

  CHAPTER XXVIII.

  Alice Leaves the Priory.

  As they came in at the billiard-room door, Mr. Palliser was there tomeet them. "You must be very cold," he said to Glencora, who enteredfirst. "No, indeed," said Glencora;--but her teeth were chattering,and her whole appearance gave the lie to her words. "Jeffrey," saidMr. Palliser, turning to his cousin, "I am angry with you. You, atleast, should have known better than to have allowed her to remain solong." Then Mr. Palliser turned away, and walked his wife off, takingno notice whatsoever of Miss Vavasor.

  Alice felt the slight, and understood it all. He had told her plainlyenough, though not in words, that he had trusted his wife with her,and that she had betrayed the trust. She might have brought Glencorain within five or six minutes, instead of allowing her to remain outthere in the freezing night air for nearly three-quarters of an hour.That was the accusation which Mr. Palliser made against her, and hemade it with the utmost severity. He asked no question of her whethershe were cold. He spoke no word to her, nor did he even look at her.She might get herself away to her bedroom as she pleased. Aliceunderstood all this completely, and though she knew that she had notdeserved such severity, she was not inclined to resent it. There wasso much in Mr. Palliser's position that was to be pitied, that Alicecould not find it in her heart to be angry with him.

  "He is provoked with us, now," said Jeffrey Palliser, standing withher for a moment in the billiard-room, as he handed her a candle.

  "He is afraid that she will have caught cold."

  "Yes; and he thinks it wrong that she should remain out at night solong. You can easily understand, Miss Vavasor, that he has not muchsympathy for romance."

  "I dare say he is right," said Alice, not exactly knowing what tosay, and not being able to forget what had been said about herselfand Jeffrey Palliser when they first left the house. "Romance usuallymeans nonsense, I believe."

  "That is not Glencora's doctrine."

  "No; but she is younger than I am. My feet are very cold, Mr.Palliser, and I think I will go up to my room."

  "Good night," said Jeffrey, offering her his hand. "I think it sohard that you should have incurred his displeasure."

  "It will not hurt me," said Alice, smiling.

  "No;--but he does not forget."

  "Even that will not hurt me. Good night, Mr. Palliser."

  "As it is the last night, may I say good night, Alice? I shall beaway to-morrow before you are up."

  He still held her hand; but it had not been in his for half a minute,and she had thought nothing of that, nor did she draw it away evennow suddenly. "No," said she, "Glencora was very wrong there,--doingan injury without meaning it to both of us. There can be no possiblereason why you should call me otherwise than is customary."

  "Can there never be a reason?"

  "No, Mr. Palliser. Good night;--and if I am not to see you to-morrowmorning, good-bye."

  "You will certainly not see me to-morrow morning."

  "Good-bye. Had it not been for this folly of Glencora's, ouracquaintance would have been very pleasant."

  "To me it has been very pleasant. Good night."

  Then she left him, and went up alone to her own room. Whether or noother guests were still left in the drawing-room she did not know;but she had seen that Mr. Palliser took his wife up-stairs, andtherefore she considered herself right in presuming that the partywas broken up for the night. Mr. Palliser,--Plantagenet Palliser,according to all rules of courtesy should have said a word to her ashe went; but, as I have said before, Alice was disposed to overlookhis want of civility on this occasion. So she went up alone to herroom, and was very glad to find herself able to get close to a goodfire. She was, in truth, very cold--cold to her bones, in spite ofwhat Lady Glencora had said on behalf of the moonlight. They two hadbeen standing all but still during the greater part of the time thatthey had been talking, and Alice, as she sat herself down, found thather feet were numbed with the damp that had penetrated through herboots. Certainly Mr. Palliser had reason to be angry that his wifeshould have remained out in the night air so long,--though perhapsnot with Alice.

  And then she began to think of what had been told her; and to tryto think of what, under such circumstances, it behoved her to do.She could not doubt that Lady Glencora had intended to declare that,if opportunity offered itself, she would leave her husband, and putherself under the protection of Mr. Fitzgerald; and Alice, moreover,had become painfully conscious that the poor deluded unreasoningcreature had taught herself to think that she might excuse herselffor this sin to her own conscience by the fact that she waschildless, and that she might thus give to the man who had marriedher an opportunity of seeking another wife who might give him anheir. Alice well knew how insufficient such an excuse would be evento the wretched woman who had framed it for herself. But stillit would operate,--manifestly had already operated, on her mind,teaching her to hope that good might come out of evil. Alice, who wasperfectly clearsighted as regarded her cousin, however much impairedher vision might have been with reference to herself, saw nothing butabsolute ruin, ruin of the worst and most intolerable description,in the plan which Lady Glencora seemed to have formed. To her it wasblack in the depths of hell; and she knew that to Glencora also itwas black. "I loathe myself," Glencora had said, "and the thing thatI am thinking of."

  What was Alice to do under these circumstances? Mr. Palliser, she wasaware, had quarrelled with her; for in his silent way he had firstshown that he had trusted her as his wife's friend; and then, on thisevening, he had shown that he had ceased to trust her. But she caredlittle for this. If she told him that she wished to speak to him, hewould listen, let his opinion of her be what it might; and havinglistened he would surely act in some way that would serve to savehis wife. What Mr. Palliser might think of herself, Alice cared butlittle.

  But then there came to her an idea that was in every respectfeminine,--that in such a matter she had no right to betray herfriend. When one woman tells the story of her love to another woman,the confidant always feels that she will be a traitor if she revealsthe secret. Had Lady Glencora made Alice believe that she meditatedmurder, or robbery, Alice would have had no difficulty in telling thetale, and thus preventing the crime. But now she hesitated, feelingthat she would disgrace herself by betraying her friend. And, afterall, was it not more than probable that Glencora had no intention ofcarrying out a threat the very thought of which must be terrible toherself?

  As she was thinking of all this, sitting in her dressing-gown closeover the fire, there came a loud knock at the door, which, as shehad turned the key, she was forced to answer in person. She openedthe door, and there was Iphigenia Palliser, Jeffrey's cousin, and Mr.Palliser's cousin. "Miss Vavasor," she said, "I know that I am takinga great liberty, but may I come into your room for a few minutes? Iso much wish to speak to you!" Alice of course bade her enter, andplaced a chair for her by the fire.

  Alice Vavasor had made very little intimacy with either of the twoMiss Pallisers. It had seemed to herself as though there had been twoparties in the house, and that she had belonged to the one which washeaded by the wife, whereas the Miss Pallisers had been naturallyattached to that of the husband. These ladies, as she had alreadyseen, almost idolized their cousin; and though Plantagenet Palliserhad till lately treated Alice with the greatest personal courtesy,there had been no intimacy of friendship between them, andconsequently none between her and his special adherents. Nor waseither of these ladies prone to sudden friendship with such a oneas Alice Vavasor. A sudden friendship, with a snuffy president of aforeign learned society, with some personally unknown lady employedon female emigration, was very much in their way. But Alice had notshown herself to be useful or learned, and her special intimacy withLady Glencora had marked her out as in some sort separated from themand their ways.

  "I know that I am intruding," said Miss Palliser, as though she werealmost afraid of Alice.

  "Oh dear, no," said Alice. "If I can do anything for you I shall bevery happy."<
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  "You are going to-morrow, and if I did not speak to you now I shouldhave no other opportunity. Glencora seems to be very much attached toyou, and we all thought it so good a thing that she should have sucha friend."

  "I hope you have not all changed your minds," said Alice, with afaint smile, thinking as she spoke that the "all" must have beenspecially intended to include the master of the house.

  "Oh, no;--by no means. I did not mean that. My cousin, Mr. Palliser,I mean, liked you so much when you came."

  "And he does not like me quite so much now, because I went out in themoonlight with his wife. Isn't that it?"

  "Well;--no, Miss Vavasor. I had not intended to mention that at all.I had not indeed. I have seen him certainly since you came in,--justfor a minute, and he is vexed. But it is not about that that I wouldspeak to you."

  "I saw plainly enough that he was angry with me."

  "He thought you would have brought her in earlier."

  "And why should he think that I can manage his wife? She wasthe mistress out there as she is in here. Mr. Palliser has beenunreasonable. Not that it signifies."

  "I don't think he has been unreasonable; I don't, indeed, MissVavasor. He has certainly been vexed. Sometimes he has much to vexhim. You see, Glencora is very young."

  Mr. Bott also had declared that Lady Glencora was very young. It wasprobable, therefore, that that special phrase had been used in somediscussion among Mr. Palliser's party as to Glencora's foibles. Sothought Alice as the remembrance of the word came upon her.

  "She is not younger than when Mr. Palliser married her," Alice said.

  "You mean that if a man marries a young wife he must put up with thetrouble. That is a matter of course. But their ages, in truth, arevery suitable. My cousin himself is not yet thirty. When I say thatGlencora is young--"

  "You mean that she is younger in spirit, and perhaps in conduct, thanhe had expected to find her."

  "But you are not to suppose that he complains, Miss Vavasor. He ismuch too proud for that."

  "I should hope so," said Alice, thinking of Mr. Bott.

  "I hardly know how to explain to you what I wish to say, or how farI may be justified in supposing that you will believe me to be actingsolely on Glencora's behalf. I think you have some influence withher;--and I know no one else that has any."

  "My friendship with her is not of very long date, Miss Palliser."

  "I know it, but still there is the fact. Am I not right insupposing--"

  "In supposing what?"

  "In supposing that you had heard the name of Mr. Fitzgerald asconnected with Glencora's before her marriage with my cousin?"

  Alice paused a moment before she answered.

  "Yes, I had," she then said.

  "And I think you were agreed, with her other relations, that such amarriage would have been very dreadful."

  "I never spoke of the matter in the presence of any relatives ofGlencora's. You must understand, Miss Palliser, that though I am herfar-away cousin, I do not even know her nearest connections. I neversaw Lady Midlothian till she came here the other day."

  "But you advised her to abandon Mr. Fitzgerald."

  "Never!"

  "I know she was much with you, just at that time."

  "I used to see her, certainly."

  Then there was a pause, and Miss Palliser, in truth, scarcely knewhow to go on. There had been a hardness about Alice which her visitorhad not expected,--an unwillingness to speak or even to listen, whichmade Miss Palliser almost wish that she were out of the room. Shehad, however, mentioned Burgo Fitzgerald's name, and out of the roomnow she could not go without explaining why she had done so. But atthis point Alice came suddenly to her assistance.

  "Just then she was often with me," said Alice, continuing her reply;"and there was much talk between us about Mr. Fitzgerald. What wasmy advice then can be of little matter; but in this we shall be bothagreed, Miss Palliser, that Glencora now should certainly not becalled upon to be in his company."

  "She has told you, then?"

  "Yes;--she has told me."

  "That he is to be at Lady Monk's?"

  "She has told me that Mr. Palliser expects her to meet him at theplace to which they are going when they leave the Duke's, and thatshe thinks it hard that she should be subjected to such a trial."

  "It should be no trial, Miss Vavasor."

  "How can it be otherwise? Come, Miss Palliser; if you are her friend,be fair to her."

  "I am her friend;--but I am, above everything, my cousin's friend. Hehas told me that she has complained of having to meet this man. Hedeclares that it should be nothing to her, and that the fear is anidle folly. It should be nothing to her, but still the fear may notbe idle. Is there any reason,--any real reason,--why she should notgo? Miss Vavasor, I conjure you to tell me,--even though in doing soyou must cast so deep reproach upon her name! Anything will be betterthan utter disgrace and sin!"

  "I conceive that I cast no reproach upon her in saying that there isgreat reason why she should not go to Monkshade."

  "You think there is absolute grounds for interference? I must tellhim, you know, openly what he would have to fear."

  "I think,--nay, Miss Palliser, I know,--that there is ample reasonwhy you should save her from being taken to Monkshade, if you havethe power to do so."

  "I can only do it, or attempt to do it, by telling him just what youtell me."

  "Then tell him. You must have thought of that, I suppose, before youcame to me."

  "Yes;--yes, Miss Vavasor. I had thought of it. No doubt I had thoughtof it. But I had believed all through that you would assure me thatthere was no danger. I believed that you would have said that she wasinnocent."

  "And she is innocent," said Alice, rising from her chair, as thoughshe might thus give emphasis to words which she hardly dared to speakabove a whisper. "She is innocent. Who accuses her of guilt? You askme a question on his behalf--"

  "On hers--and on his, Miss Vavasor."

  "A question which I feel myself bound to answer truly,--to answerwith reference to the welfare of them both; but I will not have itsaid that I accuse her. She had been attached to Mr. Fitzgerald whenyour cousin married her. He knew that this had been the case. Shetold him the whole truth. In a worldly point of view her marriagewith Mr. Fitzgerald would probably have been very imprudent."

  "It would have been utterly ruinous."

  "Perhaps so; I say nothing about that. But as it turned out, she gaveup her own wishes and married your cousin."

  "I don't know about her own wishes, Miss Vavasor."

  "It is what she did. She would have married Mr. Fitzgerald, had shenot been hindered by the advice of those around her. It cannot besupposed that she has forgotten him in so short a time. There can beno guilt in her remembrance."

  "There is guilt in loving any other than her husband."

  "Then, Miss Palliser, it was her marriage that was guilty, and nother love. But all that is done and past. It should be your cousin'sobject to teach her to forget Mr. Fitzgerald, and he will not do thatby taking her to a house where that gentleman is staying."

  "She has said so much to you herself?"

  "I do not know that I need declare to you what she has said herself.You have asked me a question, and I have answered it, and I amthankful to you for having asked it. What object can either of ushave but to assist her in her position?"

  "And to save him from dishonour. I had so hoped that this was simplya childish dread on her part."

  "It is not so. It is no childish dread. If you have the power toprevent her going to Lady Monk's, I implore you to use it. Indeed, Iwill ask you to promise me that you will do so."

  "After what you have said, I have no alternative."

  "Exactly. There is no alternative. Either for his sake or for hers,there is none."

  Thereupon Miss Palliser got up, and wishing her companion goodnight, took her departure. Throughout the interview there had beenno cordiality of feeling between them. There was no pr
etence offriendship, even as they were parting. They acknowledged that theirobjects were different. That of Alice was to save Lady Glencorafrom ruin. That of Miss Palliser was to save her cousin fromdisgrace,--with perhaps some further honest desire to prevent sorrowand sin. One loved Lady Glencora, and the other clearly did not loveher. But, nevertheless, Alice felt that Miss Palliser, in coming toher, had acted well, and that to herself this coming had affordedimmense relief. Some step would now be taken to prevent that meetingwhich she had so deprecated, and it would be taken without any greatviolation of confidence on her part. She had said nothing as to whichLady Glencora could feel herself aggrieved.

  On the next morning she was down in the breakfast-room soon afternine, and had not been in the room many minutes before Mr. Palliserentered. "The carriage is ordered for you at a quarter before ten,"he said, "and I have come down to give you your breakfast." There wasa smile on his face as he spoke, and Alice could see that he intendedto make himself pleasant.

  "Will you allow me to give you yours instead?" said she. But as ithappened, no giving on either side was needed, as Alice's breakfastwas brought to her separately.

  "Glencora bids me say that she will be down immediately," said Mr.Palliser.

  Alice then made some inquiry with reference to the effects of lastnight's imprudence, which received only a half-pronounced reply.Mr. Palliser was willing to be gracious, but did not intend to beunderstood as having forgiven the offence. The Miss Pallisers thencame in together, and after them Mr. Bott, closely followed by Mrs.Marsham, and all of them made inquiries after Lady Glencora, asthough it was to be supposed that she might probably be in a perilousstate after what she had undergone on the previous evening. Mr. Bottwas particularly anxious. "The frost was so uncommonly severe," saidhe, "that any delicate person like Lady Glencora must have sufferedin remaining out so long."

  The insinuation that Alice was not a delicate person and that, asregarded her, the severity of the frost was of no moment, was veryopen, and was duly appreciated. Mr. Bott was aware that his greatpatron had in some sort changed his opinion about Miss Vavasor, andhe was of course disposed to change his own. A fortnight since Alicemight have been as delicate as she pleased in Mr. Bott's estimation.

  "I hope you do not consider Lady Glencora delicate," said Alice to Mr.Palliser.

  "She is not robust," said the husband.

  "By no means," said Mrs. Marsham.

  "Indeed, no," said Mr. Bott.

  Alice knew that she was being accused of being robust herself; butshe bore it in silence. Ploughboys and milkmaids are robust, and theaccusation was a heavy one. Alice, however, thought that she wouldnot have minded it, if she could have allowed herself to reply; butthis at the moment of her going away she could not do.

  "I think she is as strong as the rest of us," said IphigeniaPalliser, who felt that after last night she owed something to MissVavasor.

  "As some of us," said Mr. Bott, determined to persevere in hisaccusation.

  At this moment Lady Glencora entered, and encountered the eagerinquiries of her two duennas. These, however, she quickly put aside,and made her way up to Alice. "The last morning has come, then," shesaid.

  "Yes, indeed," said Alice. "Mr. Palliser must have thought that I wasnever going."

  "On the other hand," said he, "I have felt much obliged to you forstaying." But he said it coldly; and Alice began to wish that she hadnever seen Matching Priory.

  "Obliged!" exclaimed Lady Glencora. "I can't tell you how muchobliged I am. Oh, Alice, I wish you were going to stay with us!"

  "We are leaving this in a week's time," said Mr. Palliser.

  "Of course we are," said Lady Glencora. "With all my heart I wish wewere not. Dear Alice! I suppose we shall not meet till we are all intown."

  "You will let me know when you come up," said Alice.

  "I will send to you instantly; and, Alice, I will write to you fromGatherum,--or from Monkshade."

  Alice could not help looking around and catching Miss Palliser's eye.Miss Palliser was standing with her foot on the fender, but was soplaced that she could see Alice. She made a slight sign with herhead, as much as to say that Lady Glencora must have no opportunityof writing from the latter place; but she said nothing.

  Then the carriage was announced, and Mr. Palliser took Alice out onhis arm. "Don't come to the door, Glencora," he said. "I especiallywish you not to do so." The two cousins then kissed each other, andAlice went away to the carriage.

  "Good-bye, Miss Vavasor," said Mr. Palliser; but he expressed no wishthat he might see her again as his guest at Matching Priory.

  Alice, as she was driven in solitary grandeur to the railway station,could not but wish that she had never gone there.