Can You Forgive Her?

by Anthony Trollope

  CHAPTER LXXIII.

  In Which Come Tidings of Great Moment to All Pallisers.

  It was not till they had been for a day or two together at Lucernethat Mr. Grey told Mr. Palliser the story of George Vavasor's visitto him in Suffolk Street. Having begun the history of his connectionwith Alice, he found himself obliged to go with it to the end, and ashe described the way in which the man had vanished from the sight ofall who had known him,--that he had in truth gone, so as no longer tobe a cause of dread, he could not without dissimulation, keep backthe story of that last scene. "And he tried to murder you!" said Mr.Palliser. "He should be caught and,--and--" Mr. Palliser hesitated,not liking to say boldly that the first cousin of the lady who wasnow living with him ought to be hung.

  "It is better as it is," said Grey.

  "He actually walked into your rooms in the day time, and fired apistol at you as you were sitting at your breakfast! He did that inLondon, and then walked off and went abroad, as though he had nothingto fear!"

  "That was just it," said Grey.

  Mr. Palliser began to think that something ought to be done to makelife more secure in the metropolis of the world. Had he not known Mr.Grey, or been accustomed to see the other man in Parliament, he wouldnot have thought so much about it. But it was almost too much for himwhen he reflected that one man whom he now called his friend, hadbeen nearly murdered in daylight, in the heart of his own part ofLondon, by another man whom he had reckoned among his Parliamentarysupporters. "And he has got your money too!" said Palliser, puttingall the circumstances of the case together. In answer to this Mr. Greysaid that he hoped the loss might eventually be his own; but that hewas bound to regard the money which had been taken as part of MissVavasor's fortune. "He is simply the greatest miscreant of whom Iever heard in my life," said Mr. Palliser. "The wonder is that MissVavasor should ever have brought herself to--to like him." Then Mr.Grey apologized for Alice, explaining that her love for her cousinhad come from her early years; that the man himself was clever andcapable of assuming pleasant ways, and that he had not been whollybad till ruin had come upon him. "He attempted public life and madehimself miserable by failing, as most men do who make that attempt,"said Grey. This was a statement which Mr. Palliser could not allowto pass without notice. Whereupon the two men got away from GeorgeVavasor and their own individual interests, and went on seriouslydiscussing the merits and demerits of public life. "The end of it allis," said Grey at last, "that public men in England should be richlike you, and not poor like that miserable wretch, who has now losteverything that the Fates had given him."

  They continued to live at Lucerne in this way for a fortnight. Mr.Grey, though he was not unfrequently alone with Alice, did not pleadhis suit in direct words; but continued to live with her on termsof close and easy friendship. He had told her that her cousin hadleft England,--that he had gone to America immediately after hisdisappointment in regard to the seat in Parliament, and that he wouldprobably not return. "Poor George!" Alice had said; "he is a manvery much to be pitied." "He is a man very much to be pitied," Greyhad replied. After that, nothing more was said between them aboutGeorge Vavasor. From Lady Glencora Alice did hear something; butLady Glencora herself had not heard the whole story. "I believe hemisbehaved himself, my dear," Lady Glencora said; "but then, youknow, he always does that. I believe that he saw Mr. Grey and insultedhim. Perhaps you had better not ask anything about it till by-and-by.You'll be able to get anything out of him then." In answer to thisAlice made her usual protest, and Lady Glencora, as was customary,told her that she was a fool.

  I am inclined to think that Mr. Grey knew what he was about. LadyGlencora once scolded him very vehemently for not bringing the affairto an end. "We shall be going on to Italy before it's settled," shesaid; "and I don't suppose you can go with us, unless it is settled."Mr. Grey protested that he had no intention of going to Italy ineither case.

  "Then it will be put off for another year or two, and you are both ofyou as old as Adam and Eve already."

  "We ancient people are never impatient," said Grey, laughing.

  "If I were you I would go to her and tell her, roundly, that sheshould marry me, and then I would shake her. If you were to scoldher, till she did not know whether she stood on her head or herheels, she would come to reason."

  "Suppose you try that, Lady Glencora!"

  "I can't. It's she that always scolds me,--as you will her, whenshe's your wife. You and Mr. Palliser are very much alike. You're bothof you so very virtuous that no woman would have a chance of pickinga hole in your coats."

  But Lady Glencora was wrong. Alice would, no doubt, have submittedherself patiently to her lover's rebukes, and would have confessedher own sins towards him with any amount of self-accusation that hemight have required; but she would not, on that account, have beenmore willing to obey him in that one point, as to which he nowrequired present obedience. He understood that she must be taughtto forgive herself for the evil she had done,--to forgive herself,at any rate in part,--before she could be induced to return toher old allegiance to him. Thus they went on together at Lucerne,passing quiet, idle days,--with some pretence of reading, with aconsiderable amount of letter-writing, with boat excursions and ponyexcursions,--till the pony excursions came to a sudden end by meansof a violent edict, as to which, and the cause of it, a word or twomust be said just now. During these days of the boats and the ponies,the carriage which Lady Glencora hated so vehemently was shut up inlimbo, and things went very pleasantly with her. Mr. Palliser receivedpolitical letters from England, which made his mouth water sadly,and was often very fidgety. Parliament was not now sitting, and theGovernment would, of course, remain intact till next February. Mightit not be possible that when the rent came in the Cabinet, he mightyet be present at the darning? He was a constant man, and had oncedeclared his intention of being absent for a year. He continued tospeak to Grey of his coming travels, as though it was impossiblethat they should be over until after the next Easter. But he wassighing for Westminster, and regretting the blue books which wereaccumulating themselves at Matching;--till on a sudden, there came tohim tidings which upset all his plans, which routed the ponies, whichmade everything impossible, which made the Alps impassable and therailways dangerous, which drove Burgo Fitzgerald out of Mr. Palliser'shead, and so confused him that he could no longer calculate theblunders of the present Chancellor of the Exchequer. All the Palliserworld was about to be moved from its lowest depths, to the summits ofits highest mountains. Lady Glencora had whispered into her husband'sear that she thought it probable--; she wasn't sure;--she didn'tknow. And then she burst out into tears on his bosom as he sat by heron her bedside.

  He was beside himself when he left her, which he did with theprimary intention of telegraphing to London for half a dozen leadingphysicians. He went out by the lake side, and walked there alone forten minutes in a state of almost unconscious exaltation. He did notquite remember where he was, or what he was doing. The one thing inthe world which he had lacked; the one joy which he had wanted somuch, and which is so common among men, was coming to him also. In afew minutes it was to him as though each hand already rested on thefair head of a little male Palliser, of whom one should rule in thehalls at Gatherum, and the other be eloquent among the Commons ofEngland. Hitherto,--for the last eight or nine months, since hisfirst hopes had begun to fade,--he had been a man degraded in his ownsight amidst all his honours. What good was all the world to him ifhe had nothing of his own to come after him? We must give him hisdue, too, when we speak of this. He had not had wit enough to hidehis grief from his wife; his knowledge of women and of men in sociallife had not been sufficient to teach him how this should be done;but he had wished to do it. He had never willingly rebuked her forhis disappointment, either by a glance of his eye, or a tone of hisvoice; and now he had already forgiven everything. Burgo Fitzgeraldwas a myth. Mrs. Marsham should never again come near her. Mr. Bottwas, of course, a thing abolished;--he had not even had the sense tokeep his seat in Parl
iament. Dandy and Flirt should feed on gildedcorn, and there should be an artificial moon always ready in theruins. If only those d----able saddle-ponies of Lucerne had not comeacross his wife's path! He went at once into the yard and orderedthat the ponies should be abolished;--sent away, one and all, to thefurthest confines of the canton and then he himself inspected thecushions of the carriage. Were they dry? As it was August in thosedays, and August in Lucerne is a warm month, it may be presumed thatthey were dry.

  He then remembered that he had promised to send Alice up to hiswife, and he hurried back into the house. She was alone in thebreakfast-room, waiting for him and for his wife. In these days, Mr.Grey would usually join them at dinner; but he seldom saw them beforeeleven or twelve o'clock in the day. Then he would saunter in andjoin Mr. Palliser, and they would all be together till the evening.When the expectant father of embryo dukes entered the room, Aliceperceived at once that some matter was astir. His manner wasaltogether changed, and he showed by his eye that he was eager andmoved beyond his wont. "Alice," he said, "would you mind going up toGlencora's room? She wishes to speak to you." He had never calledher Alice before, and as soon as the word was spoken, he rememberedhimself and blushed.

  "She isn't ill, I hope?" said Alice.

  "No;--she isn't ill. At least I think she had better not get up quiteyet. Don't let her excite herself, if you can help it."

  "I'll go to her at once," said Alice rising.

  "I'm so much obliged to you;--but, Miss Vavasor--"

  "You called me Alice just now, Mr. Palliser, and I took it as a greatcompliment."

  He blushed again. "Did I? Very well. Then I'll do it again--if you'lllet me. But, if you please, do be as calm with her as you can. Sheis so easily excited, you know. Of course, if there's anything shefancies, we'll take care to get it for her; but she must be keptquiet." Upon this Alice left him, having had no moment of time toguess what had happened, or was about to happen; and he was againalone, contemplating the future glories of his house. Had he athought for his poor cousin Jeffrey, whose nose was now so terriblyout of joint? No, indeed. His thoughts were all of himself, and thegood things that were coming to him,--of the new world of interestthat was being opened for him. It would be better to him, this, thanbeing Chancellor of the Exchequer. He would rather have it in storefor him to be father of the next Duke of Omnium, than make half adozen consecutive annual speeches in Parliament as to the ways andmeans, and expenditure of the British nation! Could it be possiblethat this foreign tour had produced for him this good fortune? If so,how luckily had things turned out! He would remember even that ballat Lady Monk's with gratitude. Perhaps a residence abroad would bebest for Lady Glencora at this particular period of her life. Ifso, abroad she should certainly live. Before resolving, however,on anything permanently on this head, he thought that he mightjudiciously consult those six first-rate London physicians, whom, inthe first moment of his excitement, he had been desirous of summoningto Lucerne.

  In the meantime Alice had gone up to the bedroom of the lady who wasnow to be the subject of so much anxious thought. When she enteredthe room, her friend was up and in her dressing-gown, lying on a sofawhich stood at the foot of the bed. "Oh, Alice, I'm so glad you'vecome," said Lady Glencora. "I do so want to hear your voice." ThenAlice knelt beside her, and asked her if she were ill.

  "He hasn't told you? But of course he wouldn't. How could he? But,Alice, how did he look? Did you observe anything about him? Was hepleased?"

  "I did observe something, and I think he was pleased. But what is it?He called me Alice. And seemed to be quite unlike himself. But whatis it? He told me that I was to come to you instantly."

  "Oh, Alice, can't you guess?" Then suddenly Alice did guess thesecret, and whispered her guess into Lady Glencora's ear. "I supposeit is so," said Lady Glencora. "I know what they'll do. They'llkill me by fussing over me. If I could go about my work like awasherwoman, I should be all right."

  "I am so happy," she said, some two or three hours afterwards. "Iwon't deny that I am very happy. It seemed as though I were destinedto bring nothing but misery to everybody, and I used to wish myselfdead so often. I shan't wish myself dead now."

  "We shall all have to go home, I suppose?" said Alice.

  "He says so;--but he seems to think that I oughtn't to travel abovea mile and a half a day. When I talked of going down the Rhine inone of the steamers, I thought he would have gone into a fit. When Iasked him why, he gave me such a look. I know he'll make a goose ofhimself;--and he'll make geese of us, too; which is worse."

  On that afternoon, as they were walking together, Mr. Palliser toldthe important secret to his new friend, Mr. Grey. He could not denyhimself the pleasure of talking about this great event. "It is amatter, you see, of such immense importance to me," Mr. Palliser said.

  "Indeed, it is," said Grey. "Every man feels that when a childis about to be born to him." But this did not at all satisfy Mr.Palliser.

  "Yes," said he. "That's of course. It is an important thing toeverybody;--very important, no doubt. But, when a man--. You see,Grey, I don't think a man is a bit better because he is rich, orbecause he has a title; nor do I think he is likely to be in anydegree the happier. I am quite sure that he has no right to be in theslightest degree proud of that which he has had no hand in doing forhimself."

  "Men usually are very proud of such advantages," said Grey.

  "I don't think that I am; I don't, indeed. I am proud of some things.Whenever I can manage to carry a point in the House, I feel veryproud of it. I don't think I ever knocked under to any one, and I amproud of that." Perhaps, Mr. Palliser was thinking of a certain timewhen his uncle the Duke had threatened him, and he had not given wayto the Duke's threats. "But I don't think I'm proud because chancehas made me my uncle's heir."

  "Not in the least, I should say."

  "But I do feel that a son to me is of more importance than it isto most men. A strong anxiety on the subject, is, I think, moreexcusable in me than it might be in another. I don't know whether Iquite make myself understood?"

  "Oh, yes! When there's a dukedom and heaven knows how many thousandsa year to be disposed of, the question of their future ownership doesbecome important."

  "This property is so much more interesting to one, if one feels thatall one does to it is done for one's own son."

  "And yet," said Grey, "of all the great plunderers of propertythroughout Europe, the Popes have been the most greedy."

  "Perhaps it's different, when a man can't have a wife," said Mr.Palliser.

  From all this it may be seen that Mr. Palliser and Mr. Grey had becomevery intimate. Had chance brought them together in London they mighthave met a score of times before Mr. Palliser would have thoughtof doing more than bowing to such an acquaintance. Mr. Grey mighthave spent weeks at Matching, without having achieved anything likeintimacy with its noble owner. But things of that kind progress morequickly abroad than they do at home. The deck of an ocean steamer isperhaps the most prolific hotbed of the growth of sudden friendships;but an hotel by the side of a Swiss lake does almost as well.

  For some time after this Lady Glencora's conduct was frequently soindiscreet as to drive her husband almost to frenzy. On the very dayafter the news had been communicated to him, she proposed a picnic,and made the proposition not only in the presence of Alice, but inthat of Mr. Grey also! Mr. Palliser, on such an occasion, could notexpress all that he thought; but he looked it.

  "What is the matter, now, Plantagenet?" said his wife.

  "Nothing," said he;--"nothing. Never mind."

  "And shall we make this party up to the chapel?"

  The chapel in question was Tell's chapel--ever so far up the lake. Ajourney in a steam-boat would have been necessary.

  "No!" said he, shouting out his refusal at her. "We will not."

  "You needn't be angry about it," said she;--as though he could havefailed to be stirred by such a proposition at such a time. On anotheroccasion she returned from an evening walk, showing on h
er face somesign of the exercise she had taken.

  "Good G----! Glencora," said he, "do you mean to kill yourself?"

  He wanted her to eat six or seven times a day; and always told herthat she was eating too much, remembering some ancient proverb aboutlittle and often. He watched her now as closely as Mrs. Marsham andMr. Bott had watched her before; and she always knew that he was doingso. She made the matter worse by continually proposing to do thingswhich she knew he would not permit, in order that she might enjoy thefun of seeing his agony and amazement. But this, though it was fun toher at the moment, produced anything but fun, as its general result.

  "Upon my word, Alice, I think this will kill me," she said. "I am notto stir out of the house now, unless I go in the carriage, or he iswith me."

  "It won't last long."

  "I don't know what you call long. As for walking with him, it's outof the question. He goes about a mile an hour. And then he makes melook so much like a fool. I had no idea that he would be such an oldcoddle."

  "The coddling will all be given to some one else, very soon."

  "No baby could possibly live through it, if you mean that. If thereis a baby--"

  "I suppose there will be one, by-and-by," said Alice.

  "Don't be a fool! But, if there is, I shall take that matter intomy own hands. He can do what he pleases with me, and I can't helpmyself; but I shan't let him or anybody do what they please with mybaby. I know what I'm about in such matters a great deal better thanhe does. I've no doubt he's a very clever man in Parliament; but hedoesn't seem to me to understand anything else."

  Alice was making some very wise speech in answer to this, when LadyGlencora interrupted her.

  "Mr. Grey wouldn't make himself so troublesome, I'm quite sure." ThenAlice held her tongue.

  When the first consternation arising from the news had somewhatsubsided,--say in a fortnight from the day in which Mr. Palliser wasmade so triumphant,--and when tidings had been duly sent to the Duke,and an answer from his Grace had come, arrangements were made for thereturn of the party to England. The Duke's reply was very short:--

  MY DEAR PLANTAGENET,--Give my kind love to Glencora. If it's a boy, of course I will be one of the godfathers. The Prince, who is very kind, will perhaps oblige me by being the other. I should advise you to return as soon as convenient.

  Your affectionate uncle,

  OMNIUM.

  That was the letter; and short as it was, it was probably the longestthat Mr. Palliser had ever received from the Duke.

  There was great trouble about the mode of their return.

  "Oh, what nonsense," said Glencora. "Let us get into an expresstrain, and go right through to London." Mr. Palliser looked at herwith a countenance full of rebuke and sorrow. He was always solooking at her now. "If you mean, Plantagenet, that we are to bedragged all across the Continent in that horrible carriage, and bea thousand days on the road, I for one won't submit to it." "I wishI had never told him a word about it," she said afterwards to Alice."He would never have found it out himself, till this thing was allover."

  Mr. Palliser did at last consent to take the joint opinion of a Swissdoctor and an English one who was settled at Berne; and who, on theoccasion, was summoned to Lucerne. They suggested the railway; and asletters arrived for Mr. Palliser,--medical letters,--in which the sameopinion was broached, it was agreed, at last, that they should returnby railway; but they were to make various halts on the road, stoppingat each halting-place for a day. The first was, of course, Basle, andfrom Basle they were to go on to Baden.

  "I particularly want to see Baden again," Lady Glencora said; "andperhaps I may be able to get back my napoleon."