Divided

by Kimberly Montague

  "I'll trade you mine for yours."

  As we finished getting dressed and Dev picked everything up, he looked around the tree house. "Before my parents sell the ranch, would you come back and take some pictures of this place?"

  "They're selling the ranch?" I asked in surprise.

  "My dad and I haven't been able to talk much with Bracque and Hanson around, but he knows this isn't the place to be when the Infection goes nationwide. Too close to L.A."

  "Yeah, I—um—sure." My brain was reeling. It was a lot to take in. Infection spreading across the country, selling houses, moving, engaged… it was a little dizzying.

  He wrapped me in the safe haven of his arms. "Just take it one day at a time, baby. Think of everything that's happened today. You made it through all of that, right?"

  "Yes, but I have you with me today."

  He held me closer. "You have me with you every day and every second. All I do is think about you, baby. But I know what you're saying. Everything's better when we're together. And we will be again. We just have to be patient until that can happen. It will happen, Evie. I swear this is just the beginning for us."

  I wanted so much to immediately buy into what he was saying, but my life seemed to be about losing one person after another. I was worried it was a curse I couldn't avoid. I looked around the tree house as Dev finished shoving things in the saddlebags. I was sad to leave it. "The word 'special' doesn't seem to be strong enough for this place."

  He held out his hand to me, and I placed mine in his. He brought my hand to his lips and pulled me out on the deck. The smell of fresh rain and a gentle breeze didn't seem fair in comparison to the fiery pit of hell in my stomach. My time with Dev was almost up, and it felt like the rest of the world should be suffering as much as we were.

  As we climbed down the ladder and walked toward Chopper, I stopped. I couldn't get my feet to move. I tried to tell myself I'd see him again, I tried to give myself a speech about being strong, but I couldn't keep moving. He set the bags down and pulled me into his arms.

  "It's not enough time, Dev." Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I couldn't stop them. "It's just not enough time."

  "I know, baby." Then he let out a very angry sigh, bent over to grab the bags, and picked me up in his arms. He carried me to Chopper and helped me up on the horse. His arms were so tense. He didn't seem in much of a hurry to get back, never forcing Chopper to run. He wound one arm tightly around my stomach and kept kissing my neck. "I hope Gabriel's not there to greet us. He's likely to go get that shotgun when he sees your neck."

  My hand flew to my neck, but aside from a little sore spot, I didn't feel anything wrong.

  There was the tiniest bit of arrogance in his voice. "It's a pretty impressive hickey if I do say so myself."

  I couldn't comment, though. I just turned in the saddle as much as possible and put my arms around him.

  When we got closer, I could see Sonya standing in Gary's arms, waiting for us. I'd managed to stop crying, but the last twenty steps Chopper took toward Gary's house felt like a death march. When Dev climbed down and reached up for me, he held me close and kissed my neck.

  He whispered in my ear. "Don’t think about saying goodbye to me. I don't want this to be in our memory. Think about that ring on your finger. It's me, I'm with you always. Think about my face when you agreed to be my wife. Think about the way I kissed you—the way I couldn't stop touching you. Think about making love to me. Remember those things, baby, don't remember this second."

  He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes. "I don't want a goodbye kiss. I want the kiss you gave me just before you—" He paused at the sound of Gary and Sonya walking close enough to hear what he was saying. He smirked so arrogantly at me that I smiled a little through the lump in my throat. His voice became velvety and set off a fire inside me. "You know the moment I'm talking about." His lips were only a few inches from mine, and he alternated between staring intently into my eyes and longingly at my lips. "Can you remember that moment?"

  I think I managed to nod, but he turned my brain to mush.

  "So can I." The touch of his lips to mine made me long to be back in the tree house with him.

  After a moment or two, Gary cleared his throat and Dev pulled back from me. He winked and brought his lips to my ear, his warm breath sending tingles down to my toes. "Anyone who saw you kiss me like that wouldn't have any trouble believing I was using you for sex."

  I smacked him on the back, and he chuckled as I smiled.

  "Perfect!" Sonya announced. "Now face me so I can get a picture." Dev and I were still holding onto one another when she started snapping pictures.

  He pulled me in front of him, wrapping his arms around my waist and whispered happily, "I love you, Evie Vaughn." An enormous smile stretched across my face as I reached up and put my palm to his cheek.

  "Holy shit!" Gary yelled, forcing Dev's arms to tighten around me. Gary pointed to my left hand and smiled. "Is that what I think it is?"

  Dev's low rumbling laughter in my ear made me turn and kiss him again.

  "I'm making an honest woman out of her," Dev said, laughing.

  "Guess four hours was enough, huh, Evie?" Gary yelped as Sonya smacked him for his comment.

  She grabbed my left hand. "You're engaged?" Sonya fairly screamed.

  Unfortunately, I hadn't noticed the body in the shadow on the porch.

  "Like hell!" Gabriel came charging down the steps.

  Dev mumbled something that sounded a lot like a cuss word. "Sir." He moved forward, pushing me behind him protectively. "I realize you're like a father to Evie, and I meant no disrespect, but I already got Harm's permission to ask Evie to marry me." He looked back at me and smiled. "And she said yes."

  "Like hell!" Gabriel shouted again. "You are too young. And—and why the hell are you wearing his shirt!"

  Evelyn, who must have heard Gabriel's original shout, came running out to us. "Gabe, come on, calm down. She's not a little girl anymore."

  "Like hell!" he screamed again.

  Even Sonya looked a little frightened. Dev, however, stood his ground. Evelyn grabbed Gabriel's arm and pulled him away from us, speaking too low for us to hear.

  My cell phone alarm went off one last time. "I have to go, baby." Dev took my hands in his, his fingers circling the ring. "He can be angry all he wants, you're mine now, and I'm coming back for you. I promise. I love you."

  I wrapped my arms around him and whispered in his ear, "I love you too, my husband." He made a short choking sound, and I realized he was trying not to cry. He kissed me hard one last time and hurried onto Chopper's back, riding as quickly away as he could. I watched him as long as my eyes would allow me to, but when he faded into the darkness, Sonya and Gary wrapped their arms around me and let me cry on their shoulders.

  For Those Who Didn't Get to Finish the Journey with Us

  The next morning, I wanted to stay under the covers with Butcher, but Sonya and Gary came in and flopped down on the bed around me.

  "Okay, sleepyhead, it's almost noon," Sonya informed me. "We're completely bored with talking about you behind your back, so get up. We have plenty to do today."

  Butcher groaned loudly as I pulled myself up and rubbed the sand from my eyes. They felt glued together from all the tears I had shed. "We don't have anything to do, why do I need to get up?"

  "There's that pre-college information session tonight in Fresno," Gary replied. "My dad said he'd drive us there and take us to eat at this Mexican restaurant near campus. So get up and get dressed."

  I groaned and pulled my tired body out of bed. When I stood up though, it all hit me again—the fear and panic over the possibility of not seeing Dev again, the overwhelming need to be in his arms, and the memories of our night together crashed into me. I had to sit down again and take deep breaths.

  Sonya patted me on the back. "He'll be okay, Evie. He's tough."

  "I know—really, I know."

  "Your face says othe
rwise." Her eyebrows were drawn together and her head was tilted in the same worried expression she wore when I was in the hospital.

  I looked to Gary, and he looked just as afraid for me. "No, it's not what you guys think," I argued softly. "I'm okay, it just—it hurts." I clutched at my chest. "God, it aches so awful I can't even describe it. Being with him, you know being with him just—it's so much more intense now. It's like I got a glimpse of what we can have together, and it's so much more powerful than I had even imagined. Now that he's away from me, it just—I can't explain it."

  "I understand what you mean," Sonya said, patting my hand. "I mean, I think you and Dev are in a whole other ball game. Heck, sometimes I think you're playing a sport no one's ever even heard of before, but I understand the basics of how you feel about him. I can imagine how last night would affect you. We just hate seeing our best friend in pain."

  "I love you both for that and so many other things, but just like I need to accept that Dev will do his best to get back to me, you guys need to accept that it freaking hurts. I can't hide that, and just because it hurts doesn't mean I'm gonna lose it again."

  "I'm glad. You sound much stronger than before even if it does hurt more." She hugged me again and Gary sandwiched me on the other side. When we pulled back, Sonya had her hands on her hips. "Okay, now I know you're not interested in Fresno or college, but we're going to this meeting. It won't hurt to go."

  I stood up and dug around my bag for my toothbrush. "Actually, I think I wanna go."

  "Funny," she said sarcastically. "Look, at the very least you'll get to see something else and get your mind off Dev for a bit."

  I clutched at the gaping hole in my chest again and closed my eyes to the pain. "That's not really possible." Doing my best to brush it off, I turned back to my bag to grab a change of clothes. "But I'm serious. I want to go. I wanna do this pre-college thing."

  She looked at Gary then back at me like I'd grown a third eye. "You've been so against it. What made you change—" Her face relaxed. "Dev."

  I nodded and lifted my tired shoulders in a shrug. "He just made a good argument."

  Gary laughed. "What was that—go to college, or I'll never sleep with you again?"

  I could feel my cheeks heat up. I stuck my tongue out at him. "He said someday our kids may need me to be their teacher, and he wanted one of us to be able to give them the best education possible."

  "Kids?" Sonya's mouth hung open. "Evie, tell me you used a condom."

  "Oh geez! Of course we did. Do I look like a complete idiot? I said someday, not nine months from now. Give me a little credit, huh?"

  Her shoulders relaxed, and she wiped the back of her hand across her forehead dramatically. "Give me a heart attack why don't you."

  Rolling my eyes, I left her and went to get ready.

  Stepping out of the shower, I was confronted with the image of a red-eyed zombie. As I threw my hair up in a towel, the dark red hickey on the left side of my neck drew my attention. For some reason, I just couldn't tear my eyes away from it. Before that moment, it still felt surreal—like he hadn't really been here. With all that had happened the night before, it really shouldn't have surprised me that I was having a tough time accepting that it was not a fabulous dream. But that hickey was like a blazing flag waving on the surface of my skin, screaming that he'd been here, he loved me, and he couldn't keep his hands off me. I lifted my hand to touch it with my fingers and my new ring sparkled at me.

  I smiled uncontrollably. With all that was going on, I had no right to be smiling. Dev was in serious danger, Harm was in serious danger, the whole world was in serious danger, but for just a moment, I let my mind take in nothing but the shining of that ring and the waving of that hickey. They screamed, "I belong to Dev" loudly and with a force that left me with no other alternative than to smile like a giggly girl.

  ***

  The last weeks of school passed by so quickly that I barely had time to myself. Graduation was on a Thursday, and the pre-college program was starting the following Monday, so Sonya, Gary, and I were packing and preparing amidst ending our high school careers.

  In as much time as I could spare, I was also avidly scanning newspapers and news sites for information about the infection. I'd found several articles about the bird-flu-like symptoms of cough, congestion, headache, nausea, vomiting, fever, fatigue and irritability. There was an 800 number devoted to questions about the Setenid Blight, which is where they suggested you call if you or a family member began showing symptoms. I tried to find information about the so-called vaccine that Dev mentioned was given in Albuquerque, but Albuquerque was still under quarantine. I assumed this was like Bishop where reporters weren't even allowed in or out of the area due to possible "contamination." Still, I checked for information every single day.

  It all worked together to make time fly, and I really didn't want it to. When Monday morning rolled around, school seemed like the usual chore, but I was really caught off guard by the sadness I felt as Sonya and I walked onto campus.

  "It's the last Monday we'll be coming here," Sonya said as she looped her arm through mine. "It's the last Monday we'll ever be forced to go to school." She stuck her chin out a little more and kept her voice light, but I knew she was feeling the sadness too.

  That big thing called "the real world" was just around the corner where we would no longer be told what time to go here and there and which way to get there. We'd no longer have half our days planned out for us. We'd have freedom, but with that, a boat load of responsibility. It was frightening and was made even more frightening by the horrific future we knew was coming our way.

  Sonya and I were both exempt from finals due to our near perfect attendance and high grades, so we wound up hanging out in Mr. Berg's trailer with the other exempt seniors. My classmates had all stared at my ring at one point or another, and with it being common knowledge that Dev had visited his mom in the hospital, the rumors were flying around like crazy. I refused to comment on anything though, and simply smiled at every question asked. The only one I ever answered was "Are you pregnant?" which I had to rudely deny. Was I the only one who'd been lectured throughout school about condoms? Or maybe I was just the only one who actually listened. It made me think my classmates were complete morons if they seriously weren't using condoms.

  At lunch, they passed out the yearbooks. I had helped work on a lot of the yearbook, but I hadn't seen the final proof, so I was excited to see all our hard work. As I flipped through the pages, I was so impressed with what we'd turned out. Sonya and Gary sat next to me in our makeshift quad, which was really just the center of our land of portables.

  Lisa, the yearbook editor, came by and squatted down close to Gary and Sonya. Her curly black hair bounced around her thin face as she sat down with a box of tissue in her lap. "Has she seen it yet?" She smiled at me, but her question had been directed to Sonya and Gary.

  "No," Gary replied and looked at me.

  "What?" I asked.

  Sonya's somewhat sad smile made me feel really anxious as I flipped through the pages. "Just keep flipping," she said somberly.

  I got a little emotional at the Homecoming spread. I'd helped put it together, but the image of Dev being crowned Homecoming King still choked me up. Maybe that's what Lisa was asking about. I looked up and forced a smile. "It turned out really great, Lisa."

  She smiled and nodded, but kept watching me. I flipped the page to find the beginning of the seniors section. Our picture with all the seniors standing in the shape of a "K" was sad with so many of our classmates missing. I turned to the next page and stopped breathing. Written in very simple white letters on a black page were the words, "For those who didn't get to finish the journey with us. We miss you, and will never forget you." The accompanying page was a massive collage of pictures of the students we'd lost.

  My eyes blurred a little with tears. "This is amazing, Lisa. You did such a great job on this." I looked closer at the images, searching for Dev. I saw one
with Jeremy and two with Kim, but not Dev.

  Gary put his hand on my arm. "Turn the page, Evie." His voice was so solemn, so heavy.

  I turned the page and had to wipe away my tears and really hold myself back from weeping. An entire spread was devoted to Dev. My hands shook as his smile shined back at me. Pictures of him playing football, joking with others at lunch, arm-wrestling Gary at a table in the quad, and doing somersaults in the field made me smile through the tears. The accompanying page made my shoulders shake as I covered my face with my hands and cried.

  Sonya put her arm around me and squeezed me tightly, but it was just too much for me. The whole page had pictures of Dev and me. There was a picture of us dancing at Homecoming I'd never seen before, pictures of us kissing in the gym, him looking lovingly into my eyes in American Government—it was too much to take in.

  Lisa handed me the box of tissue she'd been carrying. "We wanted to do something for everyone not with us, but we especially wanted to do something for you, Piper. If you hadn't fought to help raise the money for the yearbook, it wouldn't have happened. We even went back through the damaged stuff they pulled from the old school and found some of these pictures. Jake tracked down Marcia, and she still had the pictures from the Homecoming dance on her camera. I gave Gary a digital copy for you, too."

  I couldn't stop crying. Everyone was looking at me, but it wasn't with pity this time, it felt much more sympathetic. We'd all lost people we missed. I managed to get a hold of myself after several minutes and took a few deep breaths. "I'm so—thank you—Lisa, it's—thank you."

  She smiled again. "I hope you get to be with him again soon, Piper. I really do."

  My lip started quivering again, but I managed to smile and nod. Lisa stood up and walked away. Gary crawled over to my other side and he and Sonya wrapped their arms around me.

  "We'll get him back, Evie," Gary said firmly.

  I had to believe that. I stared forever at the pictures of Dev and just had to believe I would be with him again.