A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5)

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A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5) Page 20

by J. L. Beck

Four days had passed since I even uttered a word to Jared or Zerro. I refused to talk to the very people who told me the things that had ripped my world apart. It was bad enough both of them played a part in the mix somehow. Zerro had killed my father, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to handle it.

  I had just walked into the bedroom we were supposed to be sharing though we weren’t. I made him sleep on the couch, too afraid I might slit his throat at night while he was sleeping.

  Stripping off my shirt and shorts, I stood before him in my bra and panties. I turned around narrowing my eyes, ready to head into the bathroom. Was I ready to talk about this? Ready to let it go? All I had done for the past four days was to think. Think about all the fucked up things in my life. I was being pulled in five different directions. Part of me said it was okay to love Zerro and that he had been the good guy in killing John, but there was another part of me. Part saying it was wrong, and even though he wasn’t my father, I should love him regardless simply because he was there for me when no one else was.

  “Bree, we should talk. Talk about everything,” Zerro said. His voice was full of pain, and I’m sure if I looked at him, he would be pained by everything I was going through. It wasn’t the point though. He was the cause of the pain. It didn’t matter if John wasn’t my dad. He had still killed someone who had raised me my entire life. He had still killed the last breathing person who loved and cared about me as much as my mother had. I had lost so much, and for what?

  Turning on my heels, I looked at him. Really looked at him. “There is nothing to talk about. The pain I see in your eyes is for yourself. For once in your life, you did something you might actually regret. You did something that broke me and ripped me from you.”

  I had been nothing but understanding of his need for vengeance, but somewhere inside of me, I hoped and prayed he could let it go and hoped his need for love was more than his need to shed blood. I was wrong.

  Removing my bra and panties, I watched them fall to the floor, and his eyes grew wide with unknown desires. The man I had loved was standing before me… and I was bare to him as I was. Yet I still knew I would never be enough.

  “We can fix this, Bree. We can be whole.” His voice was pleading with me. Was he trying to save us after he had shoved us head first into this world of blood? Once something was broken, it would never be as strong as it once was. I turned the faucet on to scolding hot and jumped into the shower ignoring him.

  The water burned me, it burned my skin, turning my skin red, and though it was painful, it covered everything else for a moment.

  “I will not give you the fuck up, Bree. You knew my need for revenge was important. You knew if it came down to it, I would have to kill him. Look at what he did to you. Look at what he did to us— to me.” Zerro practically yelled as he slipped into the shower behind me.

  As much as I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, I needed him. I needed his touch, his words, and his anger.

  Turning around, I smacked him. Hard. Straight across the face. It took him by surprise and it caused my blood to pump. Some of my anger had been unveiled, and I felt the need to do it again, and again. To beat him to the bloody mess he had left my heart in.

  His eyes grew wide for a moment in pure shock and then he was on me, his lips devouring mine as he picked me up and slammed my back against the shower wall. Hot water sprayed down on us as I made him bleed in the most sensual ways. My teeth bit into his lips until I tasted blood, and my nails scraped against his back.

  “Hurt me, Bree. Make me feel whatever it is you want me to feel. I’m bared to you. I know I hurt you, I know I fucked up, but it had to be done. It had to happen—and while you hate me, you’ll move on and learn to deal with it. Death is the only thing promised in this life.”

  “I do hate you,” I growled, pulling at his hair as he laid kisses against my neck. My body tingled in unimaginable ways, washing away all the anger and sadness. I would never admit it right now, but I needed him. I needed him like I needed water to drink or the air to breathe.

  “Then show me. Show me how much you hate me,” he whispered. His teeth grazed my ear as his cock pressed against my hot core.

  With hands wrapped under my ass, he pressed into me. His cock and body promised me millions of ways to forget, and I wanted to forget. I wanted to so badly. Letting the walls fall, I reached up, gripping his face as I stared into a pair of warm eyes.

  “Fuck me,” I barely whispered onto his lips as if it were a secret between the two of us. Laying his head against mine, I stared into his eyes as he slid into me to the hilt. His cock felt amazing, and though my body felt as if it were crumbling, it also felt as if it was being pieced back together.

  One hand slipped from my ass to my head as he gripped my hair, pulling it taut against my scalp. It burned, but it was a delicious burn. A foreign one not meant to feel good but did. My head tipped back against the tile as he pierced my skin with his teeth. His cock slipped in and out at a scary pace, and just when I was afraid I was going to die from pleasure, I came spiraling into a deep, deep darkness. My body hummed as he continued his assault on my body.

  “I fucking love you, I love this sweet cunt, and I love those deep brown eyes as they smile at me when you come…” He growled into my skin. My tits rubbed against his chest, pushing me into overdrive. I wanted more, so much more.

  “Stop,” I begged, pulling away from him. I wanted to watch him when he took me. Shutting the water off, I slipped from his touch as I watched his face form into confusion.

  “I want to watch you take me. Own me,” I said quietly as I slipped from the shower and over to the counter top of the sink. A huge mirror was against the wall, and when I leaned over it and looked at him in the mirror, I watched his face light up in the excitement.

  “I’ll take you, I’ll own you. I’ll make you whole again, Piccolo…” His voice was on the verge of losing its gentleness, and I wanted it. I wanted the roughness. I wanted the hate and madness between the two of us to be swept away in the caresses, kisses, and bites. Sliding in behind me, I watched him in the mirror as he centered himself at my entrance.

  “You better hold on, baby,” was all he said as he pushed into me with sheer force. My nipples scraped across the counter top with every push into my body, and my eyes locked with his in the mirror as my teeth bit my lip to stifle my moans.

  “Come on now—let that pussycat purr,” he said, His tongue glided against my back as he gripped my hips harder than ever.

  His dirty words pushed me over the edge and I couldn’t hold in the pleasure anymore. “Ahhhh….” I mewled over and over again.

  “That’s what I wanted to hear,” he said between clenched teeth as a muscle in his jaw thrummed to life. I knew even he was holding back and I hated it. I wanted him. All of him.

  “Fuck me, Zerro. Fuck me like you love me. Fuck me like your kiss is the last I will ever receive.” Raising his eyebrow at me, a smile twitched on his lips. My blood sang, and the next thing I knew, I was flipped around sitting on the counter top, and he was fucking me, lifting me up to impale myself on his dick.

  “Take it. All of it. Own me,” he whispered as his dick pushed against my back wall. My muscles clamped around him and my body tingled with pulses of pleasure. My eyes drifted closed.

  “Open your eyes,” he growled. He wrapped his hand around my throat to force my face upward and my eyes open. Hesitantly, I open them just to watch his beautiful body on the verge of its own pleasure. His muscles were taut, and the dips and valleys of his muscles clenched together as he shoved into me once more.

  A hiss escaped his lips as he gripped me hard, his seed filling me. His touch told me he was holding on for dear life, afraid I would slip away.

  Pulling out of me slowly, I winced. My insides were a mushy mess, as was my heart and mind. My face was downcast as his fingers lifted my face up to his. “Run all you want, Piccolo. Run wherever your little legs can carry you, but realize I will always come for you. I w
ill always find you, and I will always claim you as mine.”

  His words crept into my mind as I watched him reach for a towel and wrap it around himself. He left without another single word said. I wasn’t sure what was meant by his words, but I knew there was no running from whatever it was we had. He would hunt me down and bring me back to him. He was right—the only thing to ever flourish from this life was death and he would be the death of me.

  Chapter Six

  Bree

  Even after sitting in the shower until it ran cold against my skin I still didn’t know what to think, what to say or how to feel. I wanted to hate Zerro, I wanted to see him drown in his own blood, but there was something more. It was as if he anchored me to the ground. Kept me sane enough to push through this mess, even if it was half his fault.

  Whoever John truly was, it was a mystery. I knew John had killed Zerro’s mom the moment I walked into the house. I had every intention of confronting him, but never was given the chance.

  A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. He was probably coming to make sure I hadn’t offed myself. I wasn’t that dumb, I didn’t want to die. I had come this far, and to throw it all away with a bullet to the head would be pointless.

  “Jared wants to talk to you,” Zerro said gruffly, his voice like warm honey to my body. My body responded to him even when I didn’t want it to.

  “Okay,” I simply said pulling the bathroom door open so I could get some clothes. A shirt and pair of sweat pants sat on the bed. No panties and no bra? Hmm… Just the way Zerro liked his women, I’m sure. Not that it really mattered. I was betting they weren’t expecting me.

  As I slipped the towel from my body, I watched Zerro. I was done letting him be the one in control. I was done being afraid. I was tired of feeling caged, and if I couldn’t get someone to give me the answers I wanted, then I would get them myself.

  “What happened in there doesn’t make us okay,” I said sternly. I had given into my biggest weakness. Him. His eyes twinkled with amusement and a pantie-dropping smirk formed on his face as I pulled on the sweatpants.

  “Right… So fucking you senseless won’t make things better, but it’ll get you to forget for a short time.” My eyes narrowed at him. He knew I had used him as a way to let the pain go. He wasn’t dumb and I didn’t expect him to be. I just didn’t think he had me figured out yet.

  “Don’t think you have me figured out because you don’t,” I growled, looking him straight in the eyes. He fed off breaking the weak, off making them feel as useless as he felt they were. When I looked at him, I saw a man I loved... and a man who was capable of killing me.

  Taking a step forward into my space, his finger traced my bottom lip as if he were memorizing it.

  “I don’t think I have you figured out… I always have. There was no thinking needed. Now go,” he ordered. I didn’t want him to think I was listening to him, but I was eager to hear what Jared had to say and if any of it was true.

  Balling my hands into fists, I pulled my shirt on ignoring him. Once fully dressed, I walked out of the room slamming the door behind me. That’ll fucking teach him. As childish as it all was, I had been through so much shit. I understood his pain, the feelings he felt about losing his mom. My question was why would you want to inflict the same pain on someone you loved? Someone who had already lost so much.

  “Come sit down,” Jared commanded, smiling at me softly. It was impossibly hard to look at him as a half-brother or a relative at all. Passing around the leather couch, I took a chair in the corner. The cushion was soft and I sank right into it.

  Training my eyes on his, I spoke softly. “I want to know everything. I want to know what happened and how we got where we are. So much shit has happened in the last month, and I don’t know who to believe and who not to believe. As of right now, I have nothing to lose but my own life.”

  He smiled casually taking a seat on the leather couch. I wondered what our father looked like. If he looked like Jared. Hell, I wondered where he had been all these years. What he was doing when my mom was dying of cancer?

  “First, as weird as this is… it’s pretty cool to have a sibling. Granted, the death of John is hard on you right now. You have to know he wasn’t your father, though. I know Zerro killing him made it harder than ever to deal with it, but there is more to it than what he just did to Zerro. Though he was my uncle, I still think he deserved to die.”

  “Uncle?” I questioned. What the hell was he talking about? John was an only child. I never met my grandparents because they were dead. When mom died, it was simply Dad… I mean John, and a few friends who came to visit.

  Scratching at the back of his head as if worried, he looked at the ceiling. “Yes Uncle. As in my dad, I mean our dad and John were brothers. It explains why it was possible for him to push off you being his daughter. Now see... I know your mind is spiraling out of control, but just breathe….”

  I couldn’t wipe the shocked expression from my face. My jaw was practically hanging open, and an outpour of anger radiated from somewhere inside me. My whole fucking life had been a lie. A big huge fucking lie.

  “My whole life was a lie…” I murmured as if in a trance. This had to be a dream, a sick and twisted dream. I was just waiting for someone to come and wake me up.

  “Don’t look at it like that,” Jared pleaded. Lifting my gaze, I stared off into the distance. John wasn’t my father, but my uncle and Jared. Alzerro’s right-hand man or driver or whatever the fuck he was, was my brother.

  “Did Zerro know?” I questioned. It wouldn’t surprise me if he did. He knew everything. Secrets were kept deep in his mind, behind tightly closed lips.

  Shaking his head, he said, “No. He didn’t. There’s more though. Just know none of us knew anything about this. I mean, hell, I didn’t even know, Bree. Believe me when I say I’m truly sorry. I never meant for any of this to take place, and I know you have already had so much heartache this year, but know you’re not alone.”

  “Alone,” I huffed out, almost wanting to laugh a hysterical laugh—not out of laughter but craziness, because honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind.

  “I mean, I know you lost John and your mother, but you have me now and our dad.” The way he said all of this made it seem like I should be happy. I should have understood and to be grateful to have lost so much just to gain two people I hadn’t known at all and who I knew nothing about.

  “How? How did this happen? What the fuck took place for this lie to spiral years and years out of control?” I was on the verge of losing it—hell, I already had. I just wasn’t sure I could come back from all of this if I did.

  Smiling, Jared stood. Where the fuck was he going? “Tell me everything,” I cried out as he walked into the open kitchen and grabbed a bottle of something with brown contents. My guess was whiskey, but who was I kidding—I didn’t drink. Until now.

  “I think we need this right now,” he said walking back into the room to hand me the bottle. He had no fucking clue. Unscrewing the bottle cap, I tipped the bottle back and took a huge swig.

  The sweet whiskey hit my senses and instead of a burn, I felt a deep warmth radiate through my insides settling deep into my belly. The drink had calmed me slightly, so I decided to take another swig.

  “Let me start at the beginning…” Jared said watching me as I wiped away any excess whiskey. I sat the bottle on the table as Zerro emerged from the bedroom coming to a stand behind Jared.

  I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment, and then allowed my anger to go as I waited for Jared to start talking.

  “Your mother married John. John was, well, strange. He was a cop, and his job was to protect and serve, obviously. He took his job a little too close to the heart. He ended up in a case involving the King Family.” Jared paused looking between Zerro and me. Had we been connected to one another far before our own births?

  “Many of his own men, people he considered to be his best friends, were dying left and right. Killed mostly
in the line of duty, but because there were many problems in the family back then, most died trying to take down The King Empire. John and your mother’s marriage started out great, but then turned dark. As he became more and more consumed with finding out what he could with the King Family, he left your mom alone. Verbal abuse turned into physical abuse, and eventually, your mom was running. Running from a life she felt she had caused.”

  “Wait…? My mom felt she caused all these problems.” I couldn’t even wrap my head around this. My mother couldn’t be to blame. Then again, I thought John was a perfect angel. It was all a lie.

  “Just listen,” Jared continued. “In the summer of 1994, your mom fell pregnant with you. Now, I say fell because it wasn’t a planned pregnancy. Your mother had been seeing James, my father—our father, I mean,” he corrected himself.

  “She was seeing our father behind John’s back. Most of the time, it was just out of comfort and eventually, it morphed into so much more. Anyway, John came home and found out about your mother’s affair. She had to tell him she was pregnant. He would find out anyway. And thus, this started the long war of hate between the two brothers.

  “Now, I’m not sure if the abuse stopped, but your mother was never allowed to tell my father. Never. John simply made her keep it secret. He threatened to take you away if she ever told. John later discovered our father was working for the King family. This only fueled his rage more. He hated Alzerro’s family, so he used you. Your mother died, and he used you. He made an agreement with Alzerro putting you in the line of fire. He knew what he was doing. He just wasn’t seeing it for all it was… His need for vengeance and revenge was more important than his love for a child who was never his,” Jared finished, and I couldn’t help but grab the bottle of whiskey again. This was too much.

  Were there even words to describe how I was feeling? Zerro had killed John—someone I considered to be my father, but had he deserved it all along? Had he truthfully beat my mother, had he hurt the person I loved most and then used me for revenge?

 

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