A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5)

by J. L. Beck

  “I’m Special Agent King. I wanted to come and see for myself that you were okay.” His voice was calm, his honey eyes warm which, in turn, caused warmth to fill my bones. He watched me harmlessly yet intensely, wondering what the hell was wrong with me, I was sure. I had been fooled more than once thinking the people who could protect me always would. They didn’t when push came to shove and to me, this situation wasn’t any different. Never again, I told myself.

  “I’m good…” I fidgeted with my hands, pulling on my sleeves to cover up the rope burn on my wrists. My skin was broken, bruised, and raw from where they had tied my hands too tightly. I wanted to make them disappear, to hide them so no one on the outside looking in would ever know I had been a victim.

  What I had told him wasn’t a lie. In fact, it was the truth—I was okay. Finally. It had been months since I had last taken a shower or consumed a meal every day. They believed throwing freezing cold water on us was just as good as actually allowing us to wash ourselves. The only times we were allowed to clean ourselves properly was for meetings with potential buyers or when we were being used for personal pleasure for the men who guarded us. Yet I had been rescued less than forty-eight hours ago and had showered more than once and was offered food on numerous occasions already.

  I had taken three showers, back to back, feeling as if one just wasn’t good enough. It was as if I could still feel the sweat that clung to my body and the dirt underneath my nails. It all disgusted me and somehow, still made me feel like a captive. Those feelings caused my stomach to roll with nausea as I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts.

  After being freed, I was put into an ambulance as they checked my vitals, rushing me to the nearest hospital. Three doctors came in and out of the hospital room they had put me in. The first two checked my mental state and conducted a full body exam to make sure I hadn’t suffered any internal injuries. The last doctor to see me was a gynecologist. She was nice and tried to reassure me everything would be okay. She performed what they called a rape kit on me, making sure I hadn’t been violated in any way. That was how I spent my first twenty-four hours free, being evaluated and having tests ran on me. Once everything came back good, the very next morning, I was released back under the FBI’s protection.

  “Hey…” The agent kneeled down onto the tips of his toes in front of me. His face was youthful with a bit of ruggedness, his eyes holding a concern for me I hadn’t seen since I was a young child. Still, I could feel the edge, the slight darkness that surrounded him.

  “I’m fine, really…” I reassured him with a small smile that felt completely foreign to my face. My lips were pulled tight against my teeth. It probably looked like I was making some funny expression due to the fact that my cheeks didn’t know how to adjust to the movement. There was no gentleness in it. It was completely forced, and I’m sure it looked more like a grimace or worse.

  He smiled back at me, his far more genuine than mine. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m not going to hurt you if you tell me you are, in fact, not okay. No one here is going to hurt you.”

  I knew that. I wasn’t as broken as most of the girls they had found in that building. I had had been luckier than any of the others.

  “I don’t think you’re going to hurt me.” I brushed some loose strands of my jet black hair behind my ear.

  Agent King watched me carefully before coming back up to his full height. “Things are going to be a little crazy in the next couple of days. We’re going to be transporting you to a secure location where you will be safe. Everything you need and anything you want will be provided. There will be plenty of food and you can shower however often you want. You should know that your location is to be kept a secret, and you’re not to contact anyone, including your family at any point in time. Doing so could result in them discovering your location and putting you and my men back in danger. Do you understand?”

  Everything he was saying to me made complete sense, not that I would have a reason to call my family. They were the reason I was in this situation, why I was to be sold to the highest bidder.

  “I understand.” I didn’t really feel like talking, even if it was safe to do so. I was used to being inside of my head. Talking lead to things being said that didn’t necessarily need to be said.

  “Do you truthfully? Because, honestly, you’re taking this better than most would.” He scratched the back of his head in curiosity as if he were attempting to figure me out. What he didn’t realize was there was nothing to figure out.

  “I had it better than most of the others. They had made a deal with my family.” That was all I wanted to say about it. They may not have tried to engage in sex with me due to being promised to another, but it didn’t mean they didn’t make me touch them, and it definitely didn’t stop them from groping me.

  He nodded his head as if he understood. “All right. Well, then, you should be able to move back into this a little better than the others who were rescued. I do want you to talk to the person you’re going to be staying with. Talking helps. If you let too much of the things that happened to you stay in your mind, it will eat you alive. I know I don’t look like I would know, but truthfully, I do.”

  Something in the way he said it made me want to reach out and touch his words. Dive into them and find out what his story was, but like I said, talking was pointless to me. The things I would speak of would just bring misery and pain. I didn’t need any more of that in my life.

  “Everyone has their own struggles. If I want to talk about my time in hell, then I will.” I built myself on being strong, on bottling up the pain. I wouldn’t be vulnerable to anyone.

  “Whatever you say. I will be back in two hours to transport you to the safe house. Prepare yourself accordingly.” And just like that, he was dismissing me to walk away. I was grateful in so many ways, but anxiety still found its way into the pit of my soul. Who knew the type of person I would be handed over to?

  I threw myself back onto the small cot and relished in the soft material beneath my hands, the luxury of a bed—a pillow. I closed my eyes and absorbed the memories, forcing the bad to the back of my mind as I hoped for good ones to come.

  Only in my dreams was I truly safe from the destruction called my life.

  Chapter Four

  Jared

  Agent King was as good as fucking dead the next time I got my hands on him. My house had never been cleaner than it was today. Even the pantry was stocked with food, something I hadn’t done in months. There was an array of food, a wide selection of things for her to choose from.

  The spare bedroom was clean and tidy. The room smelt of linen and crisp air. Gone were the old bed sheets from when Bree and Alzerro had stayed here, and in their place were new ones. I smiled to myself. It was as if I was the newest edition of Martha Stewart only with a dick.

  Now I was sitting on the couch nervous as ever, my palms coated in a sheen of sweat. It had been years since I had cleaned myself as thoroughly as I had today; scrubbed my nails, feet, and my back. Usually, I just took a shower, washing my hair and body and then calling it quits. But today, I shaved, put cologne on, and combed my hair. It wasn’t that I didn’t care for myself. It was more that I didn’t give a shit what other people thought about me. With no one to impress, I had no other reason to look as I did today. According to Zerro, she deserved, at the very least, a man who looked somewhat put together. That and the fact he all but threatened me to have my shit together.

  “Fuck,” I said out loud to no one but myself. Minx, my all white cat with black paws, rubbed against my leg. I had gotten him at an abused animal shelter over a year ago. He was my one and only constant in life. What I saw in Minx was something I saw in myself and it instantly drew me to him. Without him, I would probably be completely off the rails. How strange it truly was that a cat could hold me to the ground, but nothing else could.

  The minutes seemed to tick by causing the wait to seem longer, which was pure torture. The time it took for them to t
ravel from wherever it was they were coming from to my home was like standing on pins and needles. I could tell myself all I wanted that I wasn’t the least bit curious about what was going to happen, but we know that would be a lie.

  I scratched behind Minx’s ears and listened to his soft purr. Man, he had it made, didn’t he? Then I wanted to laugh because I showed him more affection than I did others. I was all kinds of fucked up.

  With nothing but silence surrounding me, I would know the moment they were here, so I bid my time. No sooner had the thought left my mind, I finally heard the sound of someone driving up on my property. As the car doors slammed, I wondered if I should get up and greet them at the door or just sit here casually as if I were uninterested. I didn’t want to seem overly excited about human interaction, but I also didn’t want to seem completely disconnected.

  The doorbell sounded, and I plastered on the best smile I could manage while getting up from the couch to answer the door. Just as my hand wrapped around the door handle, I had a second thought to just go back into my bedroom and ignore everything. Pushing that feeling away, I pulled my shit together.

  Not wanting to waste another second, I opened the door. My heart sank into my stomach just as my eyes caught hers. Her dark skin was a color between mocha and a natural tan. Her hair reminded me of the night sky without stars. Her eyes were a coffee colored brown that almost matched her skin color. My eyes glided over her lips, certainly not missing the plump pinkness they exuberated. Shit, I could already picture myself sliding in and out of her mouth. My balls ached and my cock rose to attention.

  Get it in check, Jared.

  Time seemed to stand still as I stood staring. Zerro cleared his throat, bringing me out of my thoughts. Taking a step back, I gestured for them to come in, not feeling comfortable speaking yet. How would my voice sound after thinking about my cock in her mouth?

  No thank you.

  “Isabella, this is Jared. He will be your guard for a while. He knows you’re entered into the Witness Protection Program and knows to report any suspicious activity.” The air left my chest in a rush. Her name. Sparks seemed to fly between us as tension filled my body. Her name was the same as my mother’s name. I took a step back, wanting to put some distance between us, hoping maybe it would ease the ache that was starting to form in my chest. I could feel Zerro’s eyes burning a hole through my back at my hasty retreat.

  With my back to them, I greeted her. “Hello, Isabella. I hope you find this place to your liking.” If Zerro wanted to glare at me, then he would have to do so at my back. I could sense Isabella’s eyes on me, but I ignored them. I would have to do so often. She was a temptation I couldn’t allow myself to ravage. Finally, I turned around making it into the living room before doing so. The second I did, Zerro seemed to unleash his fury, his eyes promising pain.

  We stood in silence staring each other down.

  “Are you guys okay?” Isabella asked innocently, looking between the two of us. Her words had a foreign accent to them, making me question how she knew English so well.

  “We’re fine,” we both said in unison. Our stares became more heated.

  “I’m just going to, um…” Her voice trailed off as she walked away to check out the house. Or at least that was what I hoped she was doing and not trying to make her escape.

  “I know that look,” Zerro mumbled just as she got out of earshot. I raised an eyebrow up at him while crossing my arms over my chest. My demeanor was defensive for a reason.

  “Did I not tell you I eat pretty girls for breakfast? Or did you block that out of your mind?” I had warned him. I had told him all I was good for—he needed to learn to open his ears and stop trying to implant the good he saw in others into them. There was no room inside of me for Zerro’s positive thoughts.

  “Did I not tell you that I don’t give a fuck?” He snarled stepping into my space. His chest was almost touching mine as fire filled my veins. What the fuck? He needed to pick a beef with someone else because my give a fuck was broken.

  “I’m pretty sure you tell me you don’t give a fuck all the time. Not much has changed there. I say I don’t want to do something, you make me do it anyway...” I mocked him with a smug smile. I knew all the right buttons to push to send him over the edge. That’s why, when his fist hit my face, I should’ve been expecting it. His knuckles slammed against my cheek causing me to stumble on my feet unsteadily. I fell to the ground a few steps back as I rubbed the side of my jaw, feeling the pain radiate downward into my chin.

  Fucker.

  “What the fuck was that for?” I blurted out, jumping from the floor. He could try and beat the responsible sense he wanted me to have into me, but it wouldn’t do him any good.

  “For being a fucking prick. You need to look at her like a life that needs protecting, not one of your blonde bimbos. I’m not even sure what the fuck is going on with you, but all I can say is to get your shit together and be prepared to fight for her. She’s not just a thing. Her life, body, every part of who she is, belongs to the Russian Mafia. She’s lost, used, and abused, and you need to take care of her.” He leaned into me, and I swear to God, the look he was giving me was one I had seen many times when he was the King. “Or I’ll take care of you. Understand?” He pressed harder against me until his chest was vibrating against my own in anger.

  We were nose to nose, our anger on the verge of boiling over. I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to have a fucking fighting in my house. This was my sanctuary—that and I had just cleaned it.

  “If I wanted your advice, I would have asked for it. I might not be the best guy in the world, but as of right now, I’m the only one you have, the only one you trust. So if you want me to keep up my end of this deal, I suggest you take a step back and clear your head. If I need you, I will call you. Until then, get the fuck out of my house.” I was pissed that he had come in here and threw his weight around as if he owned the place. I was doing him more than a favor by not handing him his ass.

  He shook his head and looked at me sideways. “You’re lucky you’re Bree’s brother and my best friend because, if you weren’t, I would’ve laid you the fuck out by now. Get your head in the game.” He acted like what he was saying actually meant something to me. I loved Bree and my father, even him in a brotherly way, but I had never felt so disconnected from them as I did right now.

  “You’re lucky I respect you and see you as brother…” I sneered wanting nothing more than to push back. I felt like a ticking time bomb waiting as if everyone was trying to push me until I blew.

  “You’re asking for a reason to fight. Something is eating away at you, and I have no idea what that thing is. All I know is it won’t help you to fight others over your own internal struggle.” His admission was a smack to the face and a slam to the chest. I tightened my fists forcing myself not to punch him or lash out with words. Even if I didn’t want to admit it out loud, he was right. My problem had nothing to do with him or my family. It had everything to do with me.

  “Leave. I don’t need your philosophical analysis. ” I gritted my teeth. The energy between us grew building and building. Seconds ticked by before he turned, raising his hands above his head as he headed back toward the door.

  “I’ll check in with you soon…” I watched as he left, a smug look crossing his face as he slammed the door behind him. I stood staring at the large wooden door, my eyes gliding over the wood. My fist itching to hit something, to feel pain even if it were only for a second. Silence surrounded me and a vein in my head started to bulge. How could I protect someone when I didn’t even care if I lived or died?

  Prying my eyes from the door, I contemplated what I should say or even do. The second I turned around, my eyes landed on hers. How long had she been standing there?

  I stared into her eyes, the coldness in them sending a chill down my spine while the darkness in them called to something deeper within me. There was something inside of them. The way she held herself on the couch told me sh
e knew fear—pain. It seemed she was broken into so many pieces and there was no way anyone could reach her. Darkness was her favorite, and we both were so very much fucked.

  Two people full of darkness, hate, and hurt colliding was like a tornado waiting to destroy. And I would destroy. After all, I wasn’t very good at keeping things in one piece, especially hearts.

  “You don’t have to look at me like a broken piece of glass. I won’t cut you unless you get to close.” A smile pulled at her lips, but it was tight.

  Forced and fake.

  For some unforeseen reason, it made me want to make her smile, not only that, but I wanted for it to be genuine. To see her teeth, her lips no longer hiding them. I wondered if mischief would twinkle in her eyes or if that small amount of light left in her would shine through?

  “Well, I will. I’m not a good guy. I might not be like the people you were rescued from but believe me when I say I’m no better.” I eyed her face for some type of reaction but got nothing. She was like a chalkboard washed cleaned. Nothing gave way to what she was feeling. She was void of all emotion. Just like me. Fuck.

  “With that said, we need to lay down some ground rules. No leaving the house without me or without my permission. You’re to stay indoors unless told otherwise. My house is your house. Use what you’d like, watch what you want, and eat whatever is here. But you’re not allowed to make phone calls, and you’re not allowed to ask questions. I make the rules. I don’t want this to be a prison to you, but you’re here to be protected until further notice,” I said sternly, unblinking to the look in her eyes.