A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5)

by J. L. Beck

  Tears covered the pillow below my face as I failed to fight against him. I knew better. I knew if I did, he would kill Jared right now. Instead, I went inside my own mind, forcing the thoughts and pain away. I wasn’t here with this sick man. I was with Jared. I loved Jared.

  Jared laid a kiss against my skin as I looked up into a pair of eyes that held the world. He was caring, loving, my everything. I could feel his hands rub up and down my arms as he tried to soothe me.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked. I couldn’t even force the words out. Seeing him even in this state had me choked up.

  “Next time you think about him or even wonder what it would feel like for him to touch you, I want you to remember this.” I clenched my fist as his sick words broke through my walls while he continued to violate me.

  You’re not a victim.

  You’re not a victim.

  “Look at me, Isabella.” Jared forced my eyes to meet his. The sky above us darkened, the clouds were full of pain and hate. I looked at him, and I could see straight through him, deep into his soul, into the parts that made him who he was. To the parts I loved.

  “You’re a slut, Isabella. A dirty little slut. My slut.” That voice. I shook my head back and forth, pushing my way back into my mind.

  A raindrop fell from the sky landing coldly against my skin. I shuddered knowing it was God who was crying for us, for the things we had lost and the things we had found, but mainly, for the things we couldn’t have.

  “Remember, even in the hardest moments of your life, I’m with you. I’m right here inside of you, a part of you and no one can take that from you.” I stared up at him, my heart thumping of out my chest.

  “Do you hear me?” His fingers dug into my shoulder. Tears slid down my face. I wasn’t sure why he was hurting me so badly.

  “Do you hear me?” Jared’s face morphed into the monster who held us captive, his voice filled with venomous rage.

  “DO YOU HEAR ME?” Warning bells went off in my head. “I don’t even know why I bought you, why I paid what I did. You don’t follow directions, you don’t react to my touch, and you’re so hung up on that boyfriend of yours in the other room.” His temper was rising, I could no longer feel his touch against my skin, but it didn’t change how I felt about him. Hate still filled my veins as I failed to move.

  “You’re a disgusting human. I would much rather die than give into your sick needs.” I lashed out, not realizing what I had said. I felt like a different person as if something inside of me had changed. Every time he smiled, a small piece of me fractured inside, it turned black, and I wondered if after this I would ever be the same, if I could come back from such pain, or if I would always be as broken as I was right now.

  “I’m glad you think so.” He undid his pants, allowing them to fall to the ground, his tie and shirt came next. I kept my eyes on the floor while he undressed. I didn’t want to see his body. I felt him crawl into bed on the other side of me. What the fuck was he doing? I would rather sleep on the cold hard ground.

  “I won’t sleep with you. I won’t do anything you want me to do. You might as well kill me. If Jared dies, I’m good as dead, too.” I seethed. I could feel him creeping toward me under the sheets, so I scooted to the edge of the bed. His hands snaked out, gripping me by the arm causing me to fall back against him. I couldn’t escape as he held me against his naked chest. My body froze, my mind telling me the situation was about to get much worse.

  “You will learn to live without him because, if you don’t, your life will be hell. I would rather have you alive. If you’re dead, you’re out of my reach. If you’re alive…” his breath was against my ear, “…I can hurt you. I can make you fear me.”

  His hand wrapped around my throat as he bit down into the flesh of my neck. His hold was tight, causing my vision to blur as his fingers embedded themselves into my skin. I could feel my skin bubbling, forming the impression of his teeth as blood flowed out of my broken skin. The hardness of him rubbed between my legs as he held my thigh slightly upwards. There was nothing gentle about his hands on my body, nothing sweet.

  “Keep your leg there. Do not move it or you will regret it.” His voice was harsh as he growled into my ear. Little black spots invaded my line of sight as the grip he had only tightened. It was as if he kept me right on the edge of passing out and being completely coherent.

  His hand reached up, and I could hear him spit into it. My stomach convulsed as I reached up, clawing at his hand. His hold released slightly, enough to allow me to take one deep breath before he was squeezing again.

  The same hand that had reached up went back down as he stroked his cock behind me. I wished the mattress beneath me would someone swallow me up whole, taking me away from this torture.

  “You will obey me in every way. Or you will wish I would grant you mercy by death.”

  Those had been his last words to me before he positioned himself at the hole he chose to claim. My mouth was clamped closed as I bit into the tissue inside of my cheek. Blood filled my mouth, coating my gums and teeth. He gave no warning as he entered me roughly. A scream escaped my lips as blood leaked from my mouth, dripping down my chin.

  His strokes were merciless, shredding every part of me. Agony ripped through me as I felt as if I were being torn from one hole to the other. Tears stained my cheeks as I continued to scream for my life, praying his men would feel something, anything... my misery at the very least and save me from this monster.

  He held me against his chest as tight as he could, his pace finally slowing down. The ache running through me eased up as I felt him pull out of me. Hot streaks of cum hit me on the flesh underneath my butt as he rubbed it into me, marking me on the outside as he had on the inside. My body was soaked with sweat, tears streaked my face, and blood coated my insides.

  Time seemed to stand still as I lay next to him. I could hardly breathe as I waited for him to fall asleep. Minutes passed as his breaths turned heavy. I felt hopeless even as I felt his arms go slack against me. He was finally asleep, his arm slipping from my body completely. I lay still forcing my breaths to even out afraid that he may be playing a trick on me. Sweat beaded on my skin. I could feel the soft sheets beneath my body and worried even the slightest movements would wake him.

  I held my breath, the air leaving my lungs as I slowly slithered out of the bed, and my feet touched the floor with a deafening sound. I turned around just in time to see him roll over and see my virtue of that hole staining not only his flesh but the sheets as well. I stood still, my presence alone feeling as if it was a bomb going off in the room.

  Once I heard his breathing turn normal and saw his body unmoving, I picked up his pants from the floor. Bending down caused a new feeling of physical suffering to surge through me as the tears continued to flow and silent sobs screamed in my head.

  I moved slowly, afraid if I moved too fast, I would be able to feel where he just was as if he were still there. Searching through the pockets of his pants, I hoped to find anything. There had to be something in here. FUCK! Nothing! I just wanted to scream at the fact I had come up empty.

  I grabbed the jacket next, turning my back and then checking if he was awake every other second. I felt as if my clock was ticking, each second becoming my last. Then my fingers landed on something hard in the inside pocket of his jacket. I pulled it out, wrapping my fingers around the hard metal.

  I turned off the part of my brain that said I couldn’t or I shouldn’t. I pushed my morals to the back of my mind. There was no right versus wrong at this moment.

  Without thinking, I got back into bed, but instead of laying flush against his body, I crawled up it, the handle of the knife gripped tightly in my palm, the blade exposed ready to do whatever I needed to do.

  I hovered over his body, his snores filling the room just as I felt blood trickle down my thigh. With my free hand, I wiped my cheeks, erasing the tears he had caused. He didn’t deserve them, all he deserved was death, and I would be the on
e to deliver him to Satan at the gates of Hell.

  I dropped my hand to my thigh, tracing my fingertips in the blood before lifting my gaze back to him. My hand reached forward resting on his cheek, staining him as I was. I dropped my hand back down, grasping the handle of the knife. With both hands wrapped around it, I lifted the knife above my head, holding it over his sleeping form. His chest rose up and down as life continued to fill his lungs.

  I took one deep breath and thought about the throbbing torment my body was feeling. I thought about Jared’s body chained up on the other side of the door, and I put every ounce of fury raging inside of me into that one stab.

  The blade pierced his skin as his eyes popped open. He reached upwards, blood filling his throat. I could hear the gurgling as I pulled the blade from his body. I could see his eyes begin to turn vacant as thoughts of him invading my body clouded my mind.

  I sat there, crouched over him as I leaned in with the knife still in my hand. I rotated my wrist, slicing him across the throat.

  Blood seeped out of the wound, purging my soul of his intrusion. The light in his eyes dulled before dimming out completely and glazing over. The rising of his chest slowed. I watched as he exhaled, waiting for his next draw of an inward breath, but it never came.

  I took everything from him with one stab and slice of a knife. I watched him bleed out, and with it, so did the fear he once caused to stir inside of me.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jared

  A muffled scream traveled through the air bringing me back to the here and now. I could hear every noise, even the rats scurrying across the floor—the men snoring, the chains clinking together as I tried to move, but all I could think of was the scream I had heard. I knew it was hers, and that caused my stomach to clench tightly. What was he doing to her to cause such a sound to escape her lips? I jerked against the chains, trying to break free as I stifled my moans, just barely able to keep quiet. Pain radiated throughout my body. I was sweating, probably running a fever from my injuries. My clothes clung to my skin along with my own blood. The air around me stirred as coldness settled into my bones.

  The realization there was no way I could get out of these chains without help forced me to sit in silence, my chest aching with every breath that escaped my lips as I looked up at the high window to the right. I begged for something, anything to happen so I could get out, so I could save Isabella and escape.

  I scanned my surroundings, one of my eyes was swollen shut, and the other was barely open. I attempted to blink, a shadow cast across the window through the moonlight and into the warehouse. I knew something was going on, I could feel it in my bones. It couldn’t be, could it?

  I watched through unfocused eyes as two men pushed through the window. They did so with little effort and no noise. They were as quiet as the air I was breathing. As the window opened, two ropes fell from the opening. I forced myself not to move or scream out and tell them I was here down below, afraid the men next to me would wake up and see them before they could get inside. I couldn’t risk blowing their cover, couldn’t risk the lives of not only all of them, but mine and Isabella’s as well.

  How they found us is out of my mind, but if anyone could, it would have been them. I don’t even know how they knew we were missing—let alone how they could pinpoint our exact location. My only guess was Zerro had a man on us or some sort of surveillance.

  The men landed on the floor just as I heard the opening of the door to the room I knew held the one person who was keeping me alive. I was praying nothing had happened to her, but I knew better. I just hoped she was still alive.

  Angling myself sideways, causing the chains to dig into my wrists, I saw her. It was for a brief second, but I saw her. The moonlight falling against her body as I wondered how she had escaped from Israel and where he was at this very moment. Those are the thoughts that ran through my mind until my eyes caught on blood. It covered her hands and the knife that she gripped tightly as the blade was shining in the moonlight.

  Her eyes were vacant, far from the woman’s eyes I once knew. I watched silently as she took a step forward and her hand shot out, stabbing the guard in front of her. I witnessed the need for her to survive the moment the knife entered his flesh and I knew Israel’s fate.

  A scream filled the silent room causing everything to come to life all at once.

  “Get up,” someone yelled as everyone came to a stand. I couldn’t tell where the men who had come in had gone. My eyes were stuck on Isabella’s as I saw tears trickle down her cheek, the knife dripping with blood and still clenched in her grasp.

  In a blink of an eye, guns were pulled and drawn. Bullets began to fly, whisking through the air. A chill ran over my body the moment I witnessed one hit her in the chest. My heart grew cold as the first tear leaked from my eye. It was at that moment I died.

  “If you’re ever alone, look to the sky and know that I will always be there.”

  The words played back in my mind as gunfire continued to surround me. My body was numb, my eyes glued to her lifeless body against the floor. I could see blood pooling as people screamed and yelled around me. How helpless I truly was as I was not even able to be there for her last breath.

  “Kill them all,” someone yelled over the fire, but I didn’t care. They could kill me now. The one thing keeping me alive, the one thing fueling me to keep breathing was now laying on the floor dead.

  “Jared!” I could hear someone screaming my name, someone who sounded very much like Alzerro. I couldn’t respond, I was falling, falling off the edge. The cliff was right there, right within my grasp. If only I could reach it… if only I could push myself off it, to feel the wind beneath my body.

  “I love you,” she whispered, her lips falling against my cheek. It was as if I were being kissed by an angel. Her body was covered in white, her eyes bright. She was so warm, so beautiful, so alive…

  “Jared! If you’re still in there, listen to me, okay?” I could hear Alzerro, but I couldn’t feel him. My body felt cold, my mind felt gone, and I wasn’t sure if he was real or not. He stared at me with worry in his eyes.

  “You’re going to make it through this. You’re going to hold on because if you don’t… if you don’t… I don’t know what I will fucking do without you, man.” Pain showed in his features, his voice full of emotion. I tried harder to focus on him, his words, his hand against my flesh, but I slipped out of it again.

  “Always know it was you who caused me to open up. It was you who took the hurt and pain away. You made everything worth living for.” Tears were falling from her eyes. The warmth surrounding her was diminishing. What was happening?

  “NOOO!!!” I cried out, my hands reaching for her. I could feel her slipping away, and I, too, wanted to go wherever it was she was going. I couldn’t let her leave me. Not again.

  “Stay with me,” I begged. Her image was going in and out, her face full of sadness.

  “You have to let go… You have to let ME go.” She seemed hurt, angry, pained even. I shook my head no, holding onto her with everything inside of me.

  “It’s not your time, Jared.” My mother flashed before my eyes, Isabella’s body drifting away from my own.

  “Bring her back,” I screamed, my body floating further away from her. A hand so soft I almost didn’t feel it landed on my own.

  “She will be fine, Jared. It is you I’m worried about. It’s not your time yet. You haven’t fulfilled your duties in life.” I stared at her confused. What did she mean? The very reason for my breathing was lying on the floor, unmoving.

  “JARED!” I could feel someone beating against my chest. I wanted to reach out to them. To entangle my hand with theirs and let them pull me back, but I refused. I felt content where I was. There was no pain and no agony.

  “You’re going back. You don’t belong here.” My mother whispered. I stared at her—my eyes had to be deceiving me. She looked just as she had the last time I saw her. Her dark hair long and wavy, she smil
ed and my whole world grew bright. I couldn’t help myself. I had to wrap my arms around her, had to feel her, to see if she was truly real.

  “We are losing him!!” someone screamed right next to my ear. Losing him? I didn’t understand what they were saying. What it all meant?

  “Jared, come on! Come the fuck on! Fight it, man. You got to fight it. Please, man, just come on.” Alzerro was right next to me, trying to get me to come back to him. I wanted to ask him what it was that I needed to come back for but faded out again.

  “The moment I knew I was dying, I thought of nothing but you.” My mother ran her fingers through my hair and down my cheek. She smiled at me as if she were proud to see her son all grown up.

  “I needed you. Why did you have to die?” Now I was the one crying, the one gripping her like a lifeline. She was fading, but I held on long enough to hear her next words.

  “You’re exactly as I wanted you to be. You’re strong, handsome, and I’m so very proud to have been your mother.” Her lips fell against my forehead, and in that touch, I felt love as I had never felt before. I felt connected to the earth and the sky all at the same time. I was grounded but floating.

  My life flashed before my eyes, brief moments throughout my life. I was riding my bike, smiling back at both my parents at six. The next flash was the first time I met Alzerro, and then I was opening birthday presents with my family the year before my mother died and witnessing my father full of love when we found out about Bree. And then, finally, it was the moment my heart started beating—when Isabella entered my house, and when I felt her body pressed against mine, or the first time I kissed her lips...

  The air swirled around me as I felt pain like I had never felt before. It severed every nerve in my body, agony ripping my veins, as I had never felt before.