The Halloween Truth Spell

by Morgana Best

  The Halloween Truth Spell

  Cozy Mystery

  Morgana Best

  The Halloween Truth Spell

  (The Kitchen Witch, Book 15)

  Copyright © 2020 by Morgana Best

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN 9781922420701

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The personal names have been invented by the author, and any likeness to the name of any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  This book may contain references to specific commercial products, process or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, specific brand-name products and/or trade names of products, which are trademarks or registered trademarks and/or trade names, and these are property of their respective owners. Morgana Best or her associates, have no association with any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, specific brand-name products and / or trade names of products.

  Contents

  Glossary

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Connect with Morgana

  Next Book In This Series

  Also by Morgana Best

  About Morgana Best

  Glossary

  Some Australian spellings and expressions are entirely different from US spellings and expressions. Below are just a few examples. It would take an entire book to list all the differences.

  The author has used Australian spelling in this series. Here are a few examples: Mum instead of the US spelling Mom, neighbour instead of the US spelling neighbor, realise instead of the US spelling realize. It is Ms, Mr and Mrs in Australia, not Ms., Mr. and Mrs.; defence not defense; judgement not judgment; cosy and not cozy; 1930s not 1930’s; offence not offense; centre not center; towards not toward; jewellery not jewelry; favour not favor; mould not mold; two storey house not two story house; practise (verb) not practice (verb); odour not odor; smelt not smelled; travelling not traveling; liquorice not licorice; cheque not check; leant not leaned; have concussion not have a concussion; anti clockwise not counterclockwise; go to hospital not go to the hospital; sceptic not skeptic; aluminium not aluminum; learnt not learned. We have fancy dress parties not costume parties. We don’t say gotten. We say car crash (or accident) not car wreck. We say a herb not an herb as we produce the ‘h.’

  The above are just a few examples.

  It’s not just different words; Aussies sometimes use different expressions in sentence structure. We might eat a curry not eat curry. We might say in the main street not on the main street. Someone might be going well instead of doing well. We might say without drawing breath not without drawing a breath.

  These are just some of the differences.

  Please note that these are not mistakes or typos, but correct, normal Aussie spelling, terms, and syntax.

  * * *

  AUSTRALIAN SLANG AND TERMS

  Benchtops - counter tops (kitchen)

  Big Smoke - a city

  Blighter - infuriating or good-for-nothing person

  Blimey! - an expression of surprise

  Bloke - a man (usually used in nice sense, “a good bloke”)

  Blue (noun) - an argument (“to have a blue”)

  Bluestone - copper sulphate (copper sulfate in US spelling)

  Bluo - a blue laundry additive, an optical brightener

  Boot (car) - trunk (car)

  Bonnet (car) - hood (car)

  Bore - a drilled water well

  Budgie smugglers (variant: budgy smugglers) - named after the Aussie native bird, the budgerigar. A slang term for brief and tight-fitting men’s swimwear

  Bugger! - as an expression of surprise, not a swear word

  Bugger - as in “the poor bugger” - refers to an unfortunate person (not a swear word)

  Bunging it on - faking something, pretending

  Bush telegraph - the grapevine, the way news spreads by word of mouth in the country

  Car park - parking lot

  Cark it - die

  Chooks - chickens

  Come good - turn out okay

  Copper, cop - police officer

  Coot - silly or annoying person

  Cream bun - a sweet bread roll with copious amounts of cream, plus jam (= jelly in US) in the centre

  Crook - 1. “Go crook (on someone)” - to berate them. 2. (someone is) crook - (someone is) ill. 3. Crook (noun) - a criminal

  Demister (in car) - defroster

  Drongo - an idiot

  Dunny - an outhouse, a toilet, often ramshackle

  Fair crack of the whip - a request to be fair, reasonable, just

  Flannelette (fabric) - cotton, wool, or synthetic fabric, one side of which has a soft finish.

  Flat out like a lizard drinking water - very busy

  Galah - an idiot

  Garbage - trash

  G’day - Hello

  Give a lift (to someone) - give a ride (to someone)

  Goosebumps - goose pimples

  Gumboots - rubber boots, wellingtons

  Knickers - women’s underwear

  Laundry (referring to the room) - laundry room

  Lamingtons - iconic Aussie cakes, square, sponge, chocolate-dipped, and coated with desiccated coconut. Some have a layer of cream and strawberry jam (= jelly in US) between the two halves.

  Lift - elevator

  Like a stunned mullet - very surprised

  Mad as a cut snake - either insane or very angry

  Mallee bull (as fit as, as mad as) - angry and/or fit, robust, super strong.

  Miles - while Australians have kilometres these days, it is common to use expressions such as, “The road stretched for miles,” “It was miles away.”

  Moleskins - woven heavy cotton fabric with suede-like finish, commonly used as working wear, or as town clothes

  Mow (grass / lawn) - cut (grass / lawn)

  Neenish tarts - Aussie tart. Pastry base. Filling is based on sweetened condensed milk mixture or mock cream. Some have layer of raspberry jam (jam = jelly in US). Topping is in two equal halves: icing (= frosting in US), usually chocolate on one side, and either lemon or pink or the other.

  Pub - The pub at the south of a small town is often referred to as the ‘bottom pub’ and the pub at the north end of town, the ‘top pub.’ The size of a small town is often judged by the number of pubs - i.e. “It’s a three pub town.”

  Red cattle dog - (variant: blue cattle dog usually known as a ‘blue dog’) - referring to the breed of Australian Cattle Dog. However, a ‘red dog’ is usually a red kelpie (another breed of dog)

  Shoot through - leave

  Shout (a drink) - to buy a drink for someone

  Skull (a drink) - drink a whole drink without stopping

  Stone the crows! - an expression of surprise

  Takeaway (food) - Take Out (food)

  Toilet - also
refers to the room if it is separate from the bathroom

  Torch - flashlight

  Tuck in (to food) - to eat food hungrily

  Ute /Utility - pickup truck

  Vegemite - Australian food spread, thick, dark brown

  Wardrobe - closet

  Windscreen - windshield

  * * *

  Indigenous References

  Bush tucker - food that occurs in the Australian bush

  Koori - the original inhabitants/traditional custodians of the land of Australia in the part of NSW in which this book is set. Murri are the people just to the north. White European culture often uses the term, Aboriginal people.

  Chapter 1

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  “I’m not wearing these, even if it is Halloween!” Alder yelled.

  I bit back a giggle. “Come out and show me.”

  “No. You’ll laugh.” Still, the bedroom door opened to reveal Alder in his boxers. Unfortunately for him, they were a Halloween gift from Camino. They were bright orange and sported a luminous green stalk.

  I held my breath, and after an interval managed to say, “I think they’re meant to be a Halloween pumpkin.” My self-control finally gave out, and I collapsed onto the sofa, clutching my stomach and laughing hysterically.

  Alder shot me a glare and disappeared, just as there was a knock on the door.

  My mood changed abruptly. Every year, Marina Mercer came from Melbourne to my little town of Bayberry Creek to demand a Halloween spell from me. It all started decades ago, when Marina’s grandmother, Nama, did a favour for my grandmother, Thelma. An evil witch organised a spell to bind Thelma to the house and garden when she died—hence the house now ‘being’ my grandmother—and Nama arranged for my grandfather to be bound to the garden, to ensure my grandparents would be together in the afterlife.

  In return, my grandmother promised that her descendants would always grant Nama’s descendants one spell each and every Halloween. After my aunt crossed over, the Halloween spell was left to me, and every year, I had narrowly escaped being murdered as a direct consequence of the spell.

  I wondered what the spell would be this year. I was about to find out.

  I opened the front door to find Marina Mercer standing next to a giant white blob. Camino had worn some strange onesies before, but I had always managed to identify them. This time, I was completely at a loss. I nodded to Marina and asked the blob, “What are you?”

  “The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man,” Camino muttered, or at least that was my best guess, her words muffled as they were by the giant suit. “Didn’t the sailor cap give it away?”

  “What’s that? Who?” I stood back to let them both inside. The delightful scent of the jasmine bushes by the front porch wafted in. I loved spring in Bayberry Creek.

  Camino removed her onesie head. “Didn’t you see Ghostbusters? The original, I mean?”

  “Years ago, when I was a kid.”

  Camino waddled past me, muttering that the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man was in the latest Ghostbusters movie too. The cats, Willow and Hawthorn, took fright at the sight of her and ran from the room. I resisted the urge to do the same. She tut-tutted. “The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is famous. He walked through New York.”

  Marina and I exchanged glances. “Marina, would you like some tea or coffee? Wine?”

  Alder appeared in the doorway, thankfully fully clothed this time. “I’ll get it.” With a curt nod at Marina, he disappeared.

  “Alder always makes me feel bad for asking you to do the Halloween spell for me,” Marina lamented.

  “He doesn’t object to the spells themselves as such. It’s just that they always nearly get me killed,” I explained. “And speaking of killed…” I walked over to turn off the TV. The house at once turned it back on again. “Can you at least turn down the volume?”

  The house complied.

  “What’s the house watching now?” Marina asked me.

  “Barry,” I told her. “It’s a TV show about an assassin who wants to be an actor.”

  Marina nodded. “Alder called me and we had a little chat about the yearly Halloween spell.”

  This was news to me, and I said so. “I had no idea.”

  Marina continued to nod. “So this year, I thought I would be altruistic. I decided not to request a spell for myself. I’ve decided to request that this year’s Halloween spell will be for Camino.”

  Camino was part way through climbing out of her onesie. “That’s very kind of you,” she said. “So that’s why you wanted my book of onesies?” Without waiting for a response, she turned to Alder who had returned at that moment with a tray of tea and coffee. “Alder, do you have any Tim Tams? No? Never mind, I have to leave now anyway. I have to go to the hospital to visit a friend.”

  After she left, Marina said to Alder, “I want this year’s spell to grant Camino her heart’s desire for her onesies.”

  I nodded. “I know Camino wants them to have a military application, and she’s also said she might want to open a little onesie shop.”

  Marina flinched as Willow jumped into her lap and stuck his claws into her leg for balance. “That’s why I want the spell to be for Camino’s heart’s desires. Maybe her conscious mind doesn’t know what she really, truly wants.”

  “I suppose so,” I said doubtfully, looking at Alder.

  “I don’t like the sound of it.” His voice trailed away. “I have to go to the office now.” He kissed me thoroughly before leaving.

  Marina clasped her hands. “Let’s do it before Camino gets back. It will be a lovely surprise.”

  “What, you want me to do it now?” I said, shocked. “I’ve had no time to prepare. Hmm, a wish-granting spell.” I tapped my chin. “I suppose I should use Road Opener Oil and Fast Luck Oil. I’ll be right back.”

  I wasn’t going to allow Marina to see my altar room, so I hurried in there and fetched oils, powders, a packet of coffee, and a pen and paper. I couldn’t find my Road Opener Oil—maybe I needed to order more—so I snatched up a bottle of Blockbuster Oil instead.

  “Blockbuster Oil?” Marina asked when I dumped them all on the coffee table.

  I nodded. “Yes, it will blow all circumstances out of the way, so there will be nothing to prevent Camino from gaining her heart’s desires for her onesies. Since I couldn’t find my Road Opener Oil, I grabbed the Blockbuster Oil and an orange candle. I hope I’m doing the right thing. Blockbuster spells can be dramatic.”

  I took Camino’s book listing the onesies she had made. I wrote her name on the piece of paper and under it wrote, ‘Grant Camino her heart’s desire for her onesies.’ I wrote the same words on another piece of paper.

  I picked up the orange candle and rubbed Blockbuster Oil into it, and then made seven holes in the top of the candle before pouring in a little Blockbuster Oil.

  All the while, Marina looked over my shoulder. “What are you doing now?” she asked me.

  “I’m going to put the candle on the book. I’m going to set one name paper between the book and the candle. Then I will read the other name paper aloud, and then burn that name paper.” Before Marina could say anything else, I read the words aloud. I lit the candle, and then held the paper between a pair of tweezers over the flame. The paper at once burst into flames.

  I was about to remark that the candle burnt nicely and quickly, a propitious sign, when Marina threw the coffee powder into the flame.

  I gasped. “Why did you do that?”

  Her face fell. “I was only trying to help,” she said. “You brought out the coffee powder, so I thought you were going to use it.”

  I grimace
d. “That will make the spell far more powerful, too powerful maybe. I fetched the coffee powder before I realized I was out of Road Opener Oil. This is a Blockbuster spell, and the coffee might make things worse. Blockbuster spells are really over the top as it is.”

  Marina’s hands flew to her throat. “Oh no!”

  I hurried to reassure her. “It’s no big deal, really. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure everything will be fine. Forget what I said.” I smiled widely, doing my best to be optimistic.

  Marina backed away, her hands still at her throat. I thought it rather an overreaction.

  That was, until I turned around.

  I screamed. Walking towards me was the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

  Marina and I clutched each other and cowered in a corner near the fireplace as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man advanced towards us.

  Chapter 2

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  I had decided to wear shoes. This was not breaking news, as I wore shoes every day, the way normal human beings do. No, I had decided to wear very, very tall heels, the kind that have a woman wavering on the knife’s edge of grievous bodily harm.