by M. D. Massey
Henry stood, and I heard him rummaging through the boxes. He came back with a jar. “It’s the last one. Is it okay?” he asked me.
“Yes. I know how to make it. Someday, maybe, I’ll be able to make it for us.”
Smiling, Henry handed Addie the very last jar of my mom’s apple butter.
“Oh, I can’t accept this.”
“Yes, you can, and you will,” Henry said, his stern voice.
She smiled. “Well, I can’t eat it all myself, so we will have it with breakfast. I have fresh eggs I can make.” She stood and began picking up the dishes.
I got up to help. “Oh… No, we can’t accept another meal,” I said. “You’ve already done too much for us.”
“I insist. You need a good meal to start your day before you head out.” There was no arguing with her. We were staying for breakfast.
Seeing as we were all exhausted, we went to bed not too long after dinner. Claire and Nick took the spare bedroom, Thomas took the comfy couch, and Henry and I cuddled up on the hard floor. I lay there for a long time, trying to listen to the outside noises, but Thomas’s snoring drowned it out.
“Are you asleep?” Henry whispered. I rolled over and faced him. “I saw a pile of undeads out back. I would assume she made them true dead.” When I shuddered, he snickered.
“Not funny.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Oh, but it is. I would think you would be used to it by now. Anyway, her daughter never came home from school. She said she couldn’t get into the school to see if she were there. She checked all the homes where she thought she could be.”
“Henry…,” I said in a warning tone.
“What?” He pretended to be innocent, but he didn’t play that card very well.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
“I have to at least try.”
“It’s way too dangerous, and we don’t have a ton of ammo left. Or gas,” I whispered, louder than I should have.
“Shh… Keep your voice down. I have to try. I’ll take Nick and Thomas, and—”
“No. No, you won’t.” And then the tears arrived…because I was that girl.
“You can stay here. She said it’s only about three miles down the road.”
“No.” Tears ran down my cheeks. “It’s far too dangerous.”
“We have to try to help her. Look what she has done for us. I’m not asking for your permission, love. If they don’t go with me, I’ll go alone.”
My breath hitched. “Henry…” He kissed me on my forehead and wiped my tears off my face. I curled up into him. “Please. I can’t handle you being out there on your own. What if something happens?”
“Love, I’ll be fine.” He was adamant, and I was a giant mess. No matter how he acted, there was no way I could live without him. “Is there any way I can draw a couple vials from you first thing in the morning?” I nodded into his cool, firm chest. He kissed the top of my head. “Thank you. I love you so much. I can’t express that enough.”
At that moment, I needed to be one with him. I snaked my arms up around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. I knew Thomas was there, but he was sleeping. I could be quiet. I just hoped Henry could, as well.
He returned my soft kisses with more passionate ones. I reached down under the blankets and grabbed his hardening length. A small groan escaped his throat. I slithered my way under the blanket and pulled down his pants. I dragged my tongue up his thick shaft.
“Fuck,” he barked out as quietly as he could. He fisted my hair with both hands as I took him into my mouth. I dragged my teeth up him and he growled, “Christ.” He grabbed me under my arms and dragged me up to his face. “You have no idea what you do to me.” I smiled. Oh yes, I did.
Henry rolled me over, reached into my pants, and pushed his palm against my heat. He kissed me while massaging. After a minute, he grabbed my pants and pulled them down.
We skipped most of the foreplay we normally enjoy. He pushed my legs apart with his thigh, then settled himself in between my legs and eased himself into me. I wasn’t quite ready for him, so I latched onto his shoulder, biting into his cool skin, trying to stifle any moan or groan that could have escaped.
Henry rocked me to the edge, working at a steady, quiet rhythm. The intense pressure to be quiet made it that much better.
Right at my peak, he pulled my head into his chest, trying to keep me from waking Thomas. My body pulsated furiously around him, and the feeling sucked him in. He let go, his face contorting in pleasure. His jaw slacked and his eyes rolled. He fell on top of me, trying to catch his breath, before he rolled off. I drifted into a deep sleep, while Henry held me and played with my hair.
Chapter 34
I woke up with a gasp, sitting straight up. Henry jumped up. “What? What’s wrong?” Before I realized what was going on, he had already put his pants on.
“Nightmares,” I whispered, seeing the sun had started to rise. There was so much sadness in my nightmares, I couldn’t even speak about them anymore. I shook them out of my mind.
He kneeled next to me. My anxiety kicked up and my heart skipped a few beats. Henry stroked my cheek.
“Love, it’s going to be all right. Soon enough, we’ll settle down and get married somehow. Okay?” I nodded as he rubbed my jaw with his thumb. “I’m going to wake Nick, then we can go out to the truck and perform a draw.” I nodded again. I would have given Henry my life if it meant saving his. I sounded like one of those sappy love songs. Barf.
I looked over at Thomas when I realized I didn’t hear him snoring anymore. He was awake, staring at the ceiling. “Thomas?”
“Hmm?”
“How come you hardly ever have anything to say? You’re just so quiet all the time.”
“No one ever asks. Besides, I’m only fourteen. No one would listen to wha’ I have ta say.” He rolled over and looked at me.
“Did you have a bad childhood?”
“No. It was all righ’. Nothin’ special. Just typical, I guess. I kinda always been quiet and stuck to myself.” He had a nice smile. I could see the love in his heart as he reminisced about happier times. He really was a good kid.
“I’m happy you had a nice childhood. Leaves good memories for you.”
Nick and Henry came back into the living room. Nick rubbed his eyes and wasn’t quite steady on his feet yet. Henry pulled his pack out of one of the boxes, looked at me, and motioned his head to the door. I got up and followed him out. Nick stayed inside, trying to wake up before he followed behind us.
“Get in the passenger side.”
“Did you tell Nick what your plan was?”
“Yeah.” We both got into the truck. He opened his pack and pulled out the necessary equipment.
“He’s fine with it?”
“He said he’s fine with it. He thought it was a good idea.” Henry stuck the needle in my arm and I winced. “Sorry, love.” I sat back, allowing the blood to drain from my body. I closed my eyes, trying to relax and not think about what was about to happen.
“How did Claire take it?”
“About as well as you did. Maybe a little worse.” I heard him groan. “And here she comes now. Shit.” I popped my eyes open, and saw Claire on the warpath, stomping toward us.
“Henry! Get out here now,” Claire growled, pointing to the ground. She was spitting mad. He got out of the truck, but maybe I should have warned him not to. He met her halfway between the front porch and his truck. “How dare you!” Then she punched him in the mouth.
I should have gotten out to defend his honor, or maybe I should have joined in. I was still a little conflicted over him trying to find Addie’s daughter. Anyway, I couldn’t get out and risk Addie seeing me hooked up for a draw.
“Arg! What the fuck, Claire?” He spit out what looked to be a mouthful of blood. Just what I wanted to see…more blood.
“You don’t just go around making decisions on your own! You have to speak with everyone. Didn’t we agree that you needed to listen to everyone’s opinion
s?!”
Henry wiped his mouth with his bandaged hand, then I looked down and saw the vial was nearly full. I was brave, popping it off and plugging in the next one.
“Keep your voice down!” Blood sprayed from his mouth when he spoke.
“I will speak in whatever volume I damn well want to!” She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“I’m trying to do something for Addie. I want to see if I can find her daughter for her.” Henry spoke with his jaw clenched, blood dribbling down his chin. Nick joined them.
“Hero Henry saves the day again. However, all the while, you’re putting others in danger!”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do!” He clenched his fists at his sides.
“Can I ask why you’re snarling at Claire?”
Mouth hanging open, Henry looked stunned that Nick was questioning his reaction. He pointed at his mouth. “She punched me in the mouth. Knocked out my tooth!”
“You probably deserved it.” Nick winked at Claire, smiling.
“Fuck off. Both of you.” Henry turned around and walked back to the truck. I was surprised to see the amount of blood all over his chin and shirt. He pulled off his shirt, using it to wipe his chin off, then got back into the truck.
“Look!” He pointed at his jaw. “She knocked out my fucking tooth!” He grumbled something unintelligible as he reached over and unhooked me.
“I’m sorry, but I can understand why she’s mad.” He glared at me. “You can’t understand it?”
“What do you want me to say?” He grabbed the two vials, drinking one. He contemplated drinking the second one, but summoned Nick over instead.
“She doesn’t want you to risk Nick’s life, and probably Thomas’s and yours, as well!”
“You don’t understand. I need to do this.”
“Why? So you can get a hero’s welcome? If you want a pat on the back, I’ll surely give you one for getting us as far as you have.”
“No! That’s not why I want to do this!” He held the shirt to his mouth, trying to stop the bleeding.
“Henry, don’t start with the ‘this is all my fault’ bullshit again.”
Nick opened my door. “What?” Nick growled. Henry handed him the vial. “Thank you,” he snapped.
“I could’ve drank that, and you would have had to beg Thomas for your dose.” Speak of the devil… Thomas came strolling out. “Oh, what the fuck? Everyone get in!” Henry yelled out of the window. Claire wandered over at a snail’s pace. Henry was steaming mad as everyone hopped into the truck.
“First of all, thank you, Claire. I’m now missing a tooth.”
“You’re welcome,” she said with a self-satisfied grin.
“Thomas, I talked to Nick and thought we could go to the school and look for Addie’s daughter. She has checked everywhere she can think of. The last place she was at was school, but Addie couldn’t get in there.”
“We, as in…?” Thomas asked.
“The three of us.”
Thomas didn’t say anything for a few seconds, then nodded. “I’m in.”
“Thank you. So you see what I’m trying to do?”
“Yeah. Addie helped us, and you wan’ to give back. I don’ see anythin’ wrong wit’ that.”
Claire sighed.
“I don’t mind going.”
“What?!” Claire looked at Nick, stunned.
“I’m not going to let them go on their own. No one will be able to change his mind, so we might as well go.” Nick was one hundred and ten percent correct.
“Nick, this is foolish. You three may not come back!” Claire was really pissed, her voice screeching.
“I’ll come back. I promise you that. I have a lot to live for, and I won’t give up.” He laid his hand on her stomach.
“Addie is looking out the door,” I whispered.
“After breakfast, the three of us are going. You two girls stay here and pack our stuff so we’re ready to go when we get back.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” Claire wasn’t going to let up. We climbed out of the truck, one by one, and silently walked back up to the front porch.
“What happened to you?” Addie grabbed Henry by the arm and dragged him inside.
“I’m fine. I tripped over something in the lawn, knocked out a tooth.”
“Why are you so cold? Are you getting sick?”
“No, ma’am. I’m fine. I’m always cool for some reason.”
“All right. Well, come on then. I can get you cleaned up and check out your mouth.” Henry looked back at me and shrugged.
“Addie? Would you like Claire and me to start breakfast?”
“Sure, that would be nice. Go ahead and slice up the vegetables in the basket. Once I get Henry taken care of, we can start a fire so I can cook.”
As soon as Claire and I made it into the kitchen, I slapped a pepper into her hand.
“I shouldn’t have done it,” she said.
“You think?” I didn’t look at her as I sliced another pepper.
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little on edge right now.”
I slammed the knife onto the old butcher block countertop. “That’s no excuse!” I tried to whisper, but it didn’t come out that way. “How many times have you yelled at him for losing control? But there you are, socking my man in the face! Which is not the first time, I might add! You are being a fucking hypocrite!” Tears formed in her eyes.
“I can’t lose Nick, too. Especially because…of the baby.” She said it under her breath, and I wondered if she wished it weren’t true.
“Do you think I’m overly thrilled about this? Do you think I could handle losing Henry or my brother? No, I can’t, and I don’t want them to go, either. But I have to accept it because that is Henry. This is what he does. This is how he is. There’s no changing him.”
“He’s putting the others in jeopardy.” The tears rolled down her pink cheeks.
“Everything is dangerous, Claire. Picking veggies is dangerous. What can we do? This is it. This is what life is right now, and we have to learn to deal with it.”
“I don’t want to.”
I threw my arms up in the air. “Me, either, but I don’t have a choice. He has enough guilt stacked on him. If he doesn’t try, it would add more weight, eventually crushing him completely.”
“It’s his choosing!”
“Some of it is. Claire, he’s a mess. Haven’t you figured that out? He is a goddamn mess. If it makes him feel good about himself, then he needs to do it. I don’t want him to, but I can’t stop him. Do you have any idea what he said to me back at that townhouse in Jersey when he melted down about Sophie?” My voice cracked.
“No…”
“He told me that if he didn’t have me, he would have put a bullet in his head right next to her. I have a feeling he almost did, and that’s why he screamed at us to get back to the trucks.” Because of what he carried on the inside, I felt guilty for being so hard on him. I picked up the knife and continued cutting up the vegetables in silence, tears running down my face. Claire had nothing else to say after that.
Addie dragged Henry into the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed gauze pads. “Have a seat and put this in your mouth. I’m going to go get saltwater for you to rinse with.” Henry pushed the shower curtain to the side, settling on the edge of the tub.
When Addie walked out of the room, he thought, Is this what having a mother felt like? He tried to remember a moment like this with his own mother. All that he could see was his mother getting beaten and raped. It sent a chill up his spine.
Addie came back in with a cup of saltwater before his downward spiral of self-loathing began again. “The girls are practically at each other’s throats. They didn’t even see me go into the kitchen.”
Henry chuckled when he took the cup from her. “What’s new? We all fight way too much. Probably because we all spend way too much time cooped up together.”
“Y’all should remember that each day alive is
a blessing. Tomorrow may never happen.”
“You’re correct about that, Addie.” He flashed back to seeing Sophie true dead on the side of the highway. He shivered again.
“Let me have a look.” Henry stood and bent over at the sink with his mouth open. Addie looked at him with a curiosity that made him nervous. “Your eyes are really green. They almost sparkle. I wonder why I didn’t notice that yesterday.” She was able to pull herself away from his gaze. “Well, anyway, I’m sure that’s how you won over Elaina. A handsome man with those eyes and your accent…” Henry smiled, relieved that she didn’t question him. “It looks okay. Just be careful with it for a day or two. Keep rinsing with saltwater after you eat anything.”
“I will. You know, I surely didn’t win Elaina over with my stunning personality.”
“Aw, come on. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a nice guy deep down. I can see that.”
“I try. It’s hard for me. I have been through a lot.”
“Yes, as have we all.”
Henry looked at her. “We were supposed to be married the day this madness started. The pastor… We’ve lost…” Henry shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t want to talk about it.” His face flushed, fearing he might become emotional.
Addie put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Addie… I want to help you.”
“With what?” She furrowed her brows.
“I want to go to the school and see if your daughter is alive.”
Addie’s mouth opened, then closed. She shook her head. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Yes.” Henry gave her tone right back to her.
“Henry, you haven’t seen the school. It’s overrun. I’m sure she must be one of them.” Her voice got quieter as she spoke.
“Addie, listen, I understand what’s out there. You’ve helped us by opening your home and feeding us. I want to help you. I’m going to go, whether you want me to or not.”
She chose to ignore him for the moment. “How did you hurt your hand?” Addie picked up his bandaged hand. Henry swallowed hard. He didn’t want to relive Sophie’s death once again.