Apocalyptic Beginnings Box Set

by M. D. Massey

  Henry and Nick were drunk. It looked like Thomas was, as well. They were laughing and carrying on like they were at a local bar. Nick was trying to teach Henry how to play the guitar. Thomas just sat there, laughing so hard, he was in tears.

  “Oh, dear Lord,” whispered Claire. She was far too motherfucking polite. I was going to put all the bullshit to rest once and for all.

  “Henry!” I yelled. They all whipped around, nearly falling out of their chairs. I was going to eat him alive. I stormed in and he stood…barely. All three of them chuckled as he stumbled over the chair. I didn’t find him funny in the least.

  “Hey, love…,” he slurred, then grinned at me like a drunken fool. I hauled off and slapped him across the face. He stumbled back, tripping over that same chair, then his eyes went dark and hollow as he stood straight, his fists and jaw clenched.

  “What the fuck was that for?!” he barked out.

  “You are drunk! And so are they! What are we going to do if we get invaded in the middle of the night?! I expected it from you, Henry! But you…” I pointed at Nick, “and you?!” I pointed at Thomas. I couldn’t believe they allowed him to drink. He was far too young to indulge.

  “I jus’ had…a few sips,” Thomas said, pushing the bottle toward the middle of the table. A few sips, my ass. His eyelids were drooping.

  “Do not touch another bottle, Thomas! You are too young!” Then I refocused my fury on Henry. “Are you shitting me right now?! Are you fucking for real?!”

  “We were just loosening up. We’ve been stressed, and it’s safe here.” He needed to just agree and move on. His examples of why they were drinking surely weren’t good enough to jeopardize our safety.

  “Loosening up?! Safe here?! You’re fucking joking, right?!” Furious, I was seeing red…blinded with rage. If I hadn’t already slapped him across the face, I would have decked him. Then I saw his face shift into a blank look.

  “Elaina, can we do this in private?” he asked in a low voice.

  “No!” I yelled in his face. “They know all about your issues so maybe they should hear this, as well!”

  He turned away and hung his head, humiliated. “Elaina…please. I am asking for you to do this in private. You can scream and rage and punch the shit out of me if you wish. Just in private.” He swallowed hard.

  “I do believe I said no, or is the booze affecting your hearing, as well?”

  He swallowed hard again, his teeth clenching. “Please… Stop yelling at me.” His voice had gone monotone.

  “No! I can’t fucking believe this! You need to stop this shit right now!”

  When he turned and faced me again, his eyes were scary. “I told you, I fucking will!” he barked.

  “When?! After your liver explodes?!”

  “I will stop when I’m ready!” he shouted.

  “And when will that be? Huh? When?” I poked my finger in his chest.

  “I don’t fucking know! Just leave me alone about it. I need to work it out in my head.”

  “How can you even have any sort of clarity when you are drunk all the goddamn time?!”

  “I’ve gotten you this far, haven’t I?”

  “With help!”

  “So fucking what!” He threw his arms in the air. “You expect me to carry everyone on my bloody back and still power through it all?” His words were more precise and clipped. He was beginning to sober up from the adrenaline rush alone.

  “No…”

  “Then what, Elaina? What? Tell me!” He stood in front of me with his hands on his hips. Everyone in the room watched us, and I felt every flicker of their eyes as they looked back and forth between the two trains that were colliding right in front of them. Then I had a spark of brilliance.

  “If you don’t stop…we are done.” I crossed my arms and turned away from him like the immature teen that I emulated with such preciseness. I could feel his eyes boring through me.

  “Excuse me, please, Claire,” Henry mumbled. He stepped around her and stormed off.

  “Elaina…that was a little harsh,” said Nick.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Was it, though?” I snapped. “I do believe you’re tired of it, as well! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to drag his sorry, drunk ass from somewhere so he could puke or pass out? Enough is enough! I will guarantee you that he is chugging another bottle right now! He doesn’t care about himself, or me, at all. He only cares about when he’s going to get his next drink!”

  “Are you even hearing yourself?” Nick shook his head.

  “Perfectly clear. The excuses need to stop, and he needs to step up to the damn plate and be the fucking man he is supposed to be!” I stomped over to the pantry and began a frenzied search for something that was meal quality. Claire followed behind me.

  “Elaina…maybe you shouldn’t have humiliated him like that. He can’t help it. He’s sick. You know that. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.” Great, I was starting to feel bad. “Yes, what they did was wrong. I’m not saying otherwise. Maybe you should go to him and apologize. You know you don’t want to leave him. He needs reassurance. What he doesn’t need is to be completely cut down and degraded in front of all of us.”

  I couldn’t help but think, What have I done?

  “Maybe I do. I just can’t take his drinking anymore. I can’t stand by and watch him kill himself.”

  I stopped for a second, the sight of him holding a gun to his head in the barn running through my mind. That was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. It was possible that he would go through with it at some point, I almost expected it. My hands shook as I put them over my face when I visualized him pulling the trigger.

  “Oh god, Claire. What did I do to him?”

  “You hurt him with your words, much like he was hurt by those assholes. Look at all that has happened to him. And who knows what else happened to him that he hasn’t told you about yet. Or can’t bear to tell you because he may be too ashamed to admit it. They were monsters who did inhumane things to a boy. He could have been sexually abused, as well. Screaming at him and humiliating him is not the way to get him to sober up.”

  I looked over at my brother, who had his head down on the table. I was so fucking wrong, and Claire was so fucking right. I needed to apologize to him before he did something stupid. I sprinted to our room.

  Henry stormed out of the cafeteria, jogging down to his and Elaina’s room, cursing at himself the entire way. His hands shook, his anger at the surface, and he needed to get it out. When he made it back to their room, he grabbed the first thing he saw and chucked it at the wall. “Fuck me!”

  He grabbed an unopened bottle of scotch and sat in an old metal chair. The whole situation was completely overwhelming. Never could he imagine Elaina would humiliate him like that. He knew he needed to quit his drinking. He was just looking for the right time, but he never thought Elaina would throw it all out on the table like she did. He was so ashamed of himself, and chugged about a third of the bottle. The insults starting flying around in his head.

  Cock-up. Useless. Loser. Unlovable. Freak. Unwanted. Weak. Throwaway.

  All the insults Gunther, Kellan, Drew, and Roger used to throw at him on a consistent basis for years. Then they would beat the hurtful words into him with their fists.

  Tears formed in his eyes as he chugged more of the scotch. There was nothing more he wanted in that moment but to forget his lifetime of humiliation. He drank half the bottle before the sobbing hit him.

  He just couldn’t even grasp why Elaina would humiliate him like that in front of others.

  Her threatening to leave tore through him, opening that black void in his chest again. He felt like he was filleted like a fish. He almost fell to his knees and pleaded with her right there, but he couldn’t further humiliate himself. He already felt he was two feet tall as it was.

  Henry sobbed, the bottle of scotch sitting between his legs. His face was in his hands, his fingers grasping chucks of his out-of-control hair
.

  Then the door opened with such haste, it slammed up against the wall.

  “Henry…” When I saw him sitting hunched over in the chair, it killed me.

  “Just leave me the fuck alone. That’s what you want anyway!” he sobbed. What the hell had I done to him?

  “Henry… I’m so sorry.” I sat in front of him.

  “Just go. You want to go anyway. Now is as good a time as any. Just get it over with.”

  “Henry… Please forgive me. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that in front of everyone. This is all on me. I should have respected your wishes and talked to you about it in private.” My voice cracked. Hearing him sob broke me. “Watching you do this to yourself is killing me. I need you by me, but you won’t be if you continue down this path.”

  “I told you I will stop.” He still hadn’t looked up at me.

  “You’ve told me that a thousand times.” He quieted down, then looked up at me. His face… I could see all the pain, all the hurt, all the abuse right in that moment.

  “You fucking humiliated me, Elaina. My entire life has been one humiliating experience after another. Between the beatings, the insults, this bloody sickness…” I tried to touch him, but he pulled away. He rested his hand over his chest. “You have gutted me. In a thousand lifetimes, I never thought you would have done that to me.” He looked back down, avoiding my eyes.

  “I know. I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” I reached for him again, but he shoved me away. “Henry…please. I’m so sorry.” I began to sob. His anger toward me was deserved and justified. “It was wrong and hurtful for me to say those things to you.” I sniffled and wiped my nose on my sleeve. “But I need you to be more understanding from my point of view. Your drinking is scaring the hell out of me.”

  He looked up at me, red-eyed and tear-streaked. The hurt in his eyes drove it home for me. After several long moments of his pain filtering through me, he reached out and grabbed my hands, pulling me up on to his lap. He wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me into his chest.

  “I will stop. I promise you. But, please, just give me some time.” I nodded into his chest. “I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me, especially considering that we would still be stuck together if you did. It would kill me to see you doing your own thing, or if you eventually met someone else. It would, Elaina. I would curl up into a fucking ball and just waste away. I never want to be with anyone again. Just you.”

  “I’m sorry.” My words were quiet. He lifted up my chin and kissed me. After all the terrible things that I said to him, I didn’t deserve his lips on mine. I shied away. “I don’t deserve for you to be kind to me.”

  “Yes, you do. I know it’s been hard putting up with me, and I’m sorry I’m doing this to you. I can imagine I’ve been a chore, between all the puking and passing out. Then having to put up with my anger and sickness on top of it all…” He cleared his throat. “Can we cuddle up in bed? I just need to hold you.” I nodded.

  He picked me up as he stood, walked us over to our bed, and laid me down. He curled his body around mine and held me as I drifted off.

  The next morning, I woke up alone. I felt deflated and got emotional. I worried that he decided to leave me because I was so cruel to him. He never said that he forgave me for my harsh words.

  Panic rose through my body. I needed to find him and talk to him about what was said. I jumped out of bed like a maniac, grabbed my Sig, and ran to the door. Just as I stuck my hand out to grab the knob, it swung open, nearly knocking me over. I pulled out my Sig, aiming it straight ahead, and screamed like a banshee.

  “Whoa, love… It’s just me. I apologize for scaring you.” He closed the door as I tucked my Sig safely back in its proper place. He grabbed me and held me to his chest while I hyperventilated.

  And then, of course, I cried.

  “Hey… Hey. Calm down. What’s wrong?”

  My words were muffled, coming through the fabric of his hoodie. “I thought you left me.”

  “Why would I leave you?” He sounded confused.

  “Because I was so cruel to you yesterday. I humiliated you.”

  “Did you not hear me when I said I only ever want to be with you? I meant that. I would wither away without you, regardless of our arguments and occasional lack of rational thought.”

  I looked up at his bearded face. “Where did you go?”

  “I woke up early and cleared the storefront across the way. I brought over everything they had left, then stored all of my booze over there so it’s out of my field of vision. I’m not sure it will help, but it’s a start, I guess.” I looked up at him, and he curled his lips inside of his mouth. I was disappointed when I smelled the booze on his breath, but I didn’t show it. “You want to go get breakfast?”

  “Yeah. I’m starving.” He held me close as we left our room and walked down the hall to the cafeteria.

  More than a month had gone by. I decided to start keeping a tally of how many days we were there. Finding an empty notebook, I put a tally mark in it every morning. I hoped I could fill the thing up, plus many more.

  We had settled into a routine. I worked hard at trying to be nicer to Henry about his drinking, but I admit that I would dump bottles when I saw them lying around. Sometimes I would find them in odd places. I would play all innocent when he asked if I had seen them anywhere.

  I was beyond nervous that Gunther was going to pop up at any time, scared of what kind of group he had gathered. I was scared that he was going to kill Henry. And I was scared that, because it was our luck, he would show his face when Henry was completely shitfaced, passed out, and drooling on himself.

  Henry asked us not to go outside alone at all. If we did need to go out for any reason, we were to go in pairs and be loaded up with weapons. Nick wouldn’t allow Claire to even get near the doors. At that point in her pregnancy, she wouldn’t be able to outrun a turtle, let alone an army of headhunters.

  To keep us occupied during waking hours, Henry and I would go work out in the gym for extended periods of time. Lord knows, I could use the exercise, and he realized what the 750ml presses were doing to his body.

  There were a few times that our workout sessions turned erotic. There was just something about seeing him shirtless, sweating his ass off, his gym shorts barely hanging onto his lean hips. It drove me right into a sexually frustrated mess, and he knew it. We were lucky that no one ever walked in on us. I think we christened every wall, corner, door, and speck of floor in there.

  On the way out of the gym one morning, Nick and Thomas approached Henry and asked if they could go out and explore the town center. They were bored and wanted to look around. Henry agreed, but only if he went with them. Nick asked me to keep a close eye on Claire.

  “She’s been having a lot of contractions today… More than ever. She’s very uncomfortable. I’m not sure what to think. I hope she isn’t going into labor. It’s too early.” His eyes full of worry, the silence following his statement said it all. “I don’t want to be away from her, but she said I’m a giant pain in the ass because I am constantly up hers. I’m just so worried. If she wants me away from her, I need someone to keep an eye on her.”

  “Of course I will. I’ll take good care of her. You know that.”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  We walked back to our room so Henry could change his clothes and gear up. Nick and Thomas geared up, as well, then they met up and took off. I decided to go get Claire to see if I could get her to come out of her cave for a while.

  After several minutes of convincing, I was finally able to get her to come out to the cafeteria with the book she was reading.

  “How’s that?” I grabbed her a chair to prop her horribly swollen feet up on. She looked exhausted, but sleep was far from what the baby had planned. She said the little one danced on her bladder all night long.

  “That’s good. Thanks.” She smiled, but I could see she was still really uncomfortable.

  “Are you s
ure? I can run back and grab your pillow, or a blanket?” She sighed. “Claire…just tell me what you need. I am more than happy to get it for you.”

  “A pillow would be great.” She smiled.

  “I will be right back.” I ran my hand across her shoulders, then left her for a moment, knowing I should have stayed with her.

  “Both of you stay outside. I’m going to go in and grab a drink really quick before we explore a little.” Nick sighed, pissed. “I’m not going to apologize for it anymore. I promised Elaina that I’ll stop, and I will.” He turned on his heels and headed into the store where he kept the majority of his booze.

  Nick looked over at Thomas. “Can you believe him? Sometimes I want to punch him in the fucking face,” he grumbled. “Elaina keeps saying I have to be patient with him, but Christ! How fucking patient do I need to be?”

  Thomas just nodded. That was one great thing about him. Unless asked, he usually kept his opinions to himself. He tended to be a great sounding board for everyone. He wasn’t a huge fan of it, but if it helped everyone out, he was willing to accept his fate. Nick paced around, continuing to grumble over Henry and his drinking. Thomas scanned the road, seeing something…or maybe someone.

  Two someones.

  “Nick,” he whispered. He didn’t respond. He was far too deep in his loathing of Henry’s drinking. “Nick!” he whispered louder.

  “What!” He turned around.

  “Look…” Thomas pointed down the road.

  “Shit… I wonder if that’s him.” They both ran and hid in the bushes in front of the school. “Just be quiet and watch.” Thomas nodded.

  They watched as an older, fit blonde man and a young girl, who was barely legal, walked into the town center, as if they were on a mission. They heard him speak to the girl.

  British.

  Nick looked at Thomas with huge eyes, mouthing, Gunther. Then, of course, they walked into the store Henry was in.