The Saga of Tanya the Evil, Vol. 4: Dabit Deus His Quoque Finem

by Carlo Zen

  But it’s true that she’s kinder than you would expect. Knowing that, Weiss finally makes up his mind to speak.

  “Please have the 203rd be a part of your Kampfgruppe. All of us in the battalion wish to continue serving under you.”

  His eyes—Please, Colonel—as he looks at her are earnest. She can tell he’s not joking, but…she still finds herself asking for clarification.

  “Kampfgruppe? Sorry, Captain, I know nothing about that. What’s this Kampfgruppe you want to join?”

  What can he possibly be talking about? Tanya cocks her head because she has no idea. She’s supposed to be assigned to the Strategic Research Office in the rear. She’s honored that they’re volunteering to fight under her…

  But Tanya has no intention of going to the front lines, and she doesn’t see leading a Kampfgruppe anywhere on her horizon. Even if they volunteer, all she can do is say, Sorry, but I don’t understand.

  Frankly, Tanya’s path shouldn’t cross with the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion’s.

  “Actually, Captain, I’d like to ask you: Is this Kampfgruppe the one I proposed in my report? The General Staff is still reading that paper. And it was just one of many suggestions. Are you sure you’re not misunderstanding something?”

  “Don’t worry, Colonel. I won’t leak it.”

  Tanya’s stance is to thoroughly deny it, but Weiss is apparently convinced she’s being strict about maintaining confidentiality. By the time he is nodding and saying, “I’m a soldier, too, you know, Colonel. I don’t mean to be impertinent, but I can imagine the sort of position you’re in,” Tanya is at a loss for words.

  Weiss’s head is bobbing as if to say, You’re so strict about your duties, Colonel, so I’m not surprised you would keep this under wraps, while Tanya is simply bewildered that he’s interpreting it as a matter of confidentiality.

  Where could this bizarre story have come from…? It happens just as she is about to ask him.

  God plays a prank on her right then.

  One of the security guards dispatched by the General Staff to the recuperation facility calls for her with a knock. “What is it?” Tanya prompts him to enter and the young soldier briskly alerts her that she’s being called.

  “Colonel, General von Zettour is on the phone.”

  “What? I’m coming. Sorry, Captain, I’ll be back in a bit.”

  Tanya’s “one ring” instinct kicks in, and she leaps out of the office. She practically runs down the hall to the communications room and picks up the receiver.

  Since there isn’t much chance of their being tapped, the General Staff employs telephones for communications between facilities.

  Well, it’s not as if every desk has one. Still, the receiver is one familiar to a corporate warrior. Tanya apologizes for keeping the general waiting, and Zettour laughs that there’s no need to.

  “All right, Colonel, I’ll get straight to the point. Your report’s been approved. The General Staff Strategic Research Office will probably implement your suggestions wholesale.”

  Tanya replies that it’s a great honor, and at that moment, she feels wonderful indeed. A boss who gets it, having her work properly valued—it’s almost too much.

  “Therefore, Colonel von Degurechaff, both the Service Corps and the Operations Division feel that you should be the one to do the research you’ve proposed.”

  That’s exactly what I want. Oh, the joy of working full-time on investigative research! Tanya envisions a fist pump in her mind, but externally she exhibits only a prudent nod. The groundwork I laid paid off.

  “This is only an unofficial notice, but…the General Staff has approved of you working full-time on investigative research.”

  “Thank you, General von Zettour. I intend to give this job everything I have.”

  “Great. I have high hopes of the proposals you outlined in Unit Usage and Operational Maneuvers in the Current War. If you can verify them with even more rigorous investigations, I’ll spare nothing in reflecting those accomplishments across the entire army. Work hard, Colonel von Degurechaff.”

  “Of course, sir,” she responds energetically, which is precisely why the next words out of his mouth freeze her solid.

  “For the location, I’m thinking the eastern lines. Knowing you, I’m sure you’d prefer the familiar southern continent, but…this time I’ll be the one to apologize to General von Romel. The east is strained and could use a Kampfgruppe that can perform. I want to send you back to the eastern front.”

  For a brief moment, Tanya begins to sorely regret even picking up the receiver.

  There’s some kind of misunderstanding. There is a fatal discrepancy between my wishes and the General Staff’s plan. I sensed it before, but I thought I told Zettour multiple times that I wanted to work on investigative research in the rear.

  Instead, I’ll be doing combat verification on the front lines?! Those are orders I wish I could have gone my whole life without hearing. No transfer to any branch office could be as shocking as this.

  I survived that pain-in-the-ass inquiry and two months of fieldwork in the west. And my heart’s desire for rear service was supposed to be finally fulfilled for a while this month. But then I get reassigned after just two weeks?!

  Do you mean to tell me the General Staff doesn’t know why Personnel prohibits abrupt changes in orders?!

  A rage she mustn’t put into words wells up inside her. Even Tanya has a hard time controlling it.

  But she manages to keep herself from shouting into the phone. She may be gripping the receiver abnormally tight, but her ostensible attitude is the perfect self-control of a soldier who accepts transfer orders despite not wanting them.

  “…If it’s an order, I naturally have no objections. Who do I report to?”

  Even if they don’t want to go, if that’s what they’re told to do, soldiers have no right to refuse.

  She’s not allowed to say, I can investigate from the rear, or, Don’t treat me as a handyman!

  But Tanya isn’t taking the crisis facing her seriously enough.

  Her thoughts turned to molasses at the point she was told she would be sent back to the east.

  She misses the significance of Zettour uttering the horrible phrase “a Kampfgruppe that can perform.”

  Once told to go, soldiers by nature don’t have the right to refuse. They talk about the “silent navy”; well, Tanya must obey the regulations of the silent army.

  And Zettour keeps talking on the other end of the phone as if she’ll be happy to hear it. Lately she hasn’t been able to tell what’s on the general’s mind, so she can’t quite figure it out.

  “You should be glad. We’re letting you form a new Kampfgruppe.”

  Glad?…is Tanya’s true feeling on the matter.

  I didn’t want to go to the front lines in the first place.

  To Lieutenant Colonel Tanya von Degurechaff, there is no reason she should voluntarily throw herself onto the forward-most line. My earnest wish is to never set one foot outside the civilized and comparatively safe rear.

  No, I’m not averse to joining the fight against Communism—that’s simply the duty of every good citizen. But. I do have to wonder if I need to proactively take risks… For one rare moment, Tanya indulges in escapism.

  Because, I should probably say… Crushing Commies feels good, but I’d like someone else to take the risks.

  And even if I’ve relied on others, I feel like I’ve contributed to the nation in a way that is beyond reproach.

  “A Kampfgruppe?”

  But Tanya is a soldier and a member of an organization, so she swallows her discontent—even though it would take an entire day to vent all her protests. That won’t help her get the orders withdrawn. Tanya is wise enough to find something constructive in this.

  For the moment, couldn’t “forming” a “new Kampfgruppe” be an excuse to buy time? Remembering what happened when she formed her battalion, Tanya manages to be optimistic.

  “Yes. We’re
going to let you implement the Kampfgruppe doctrine you proposed in your report in the field. Show us results. As long as you make appropriate use of the unit, I’ll respect your discretion as much as possible.”

  Ohhh. That’s when Tanya understood the cause of the discrepancy.

  Zettour let her play around in the west for two months not because he was going to reassign her to the rear…but to have her lay the groundwork for performing investigative research in combat.

  And then Tanya proposed that the Empire should form Kampfgruppen in her paper, Unit Usage and Operational Maneuvers in the Current War. It was full of lessons about how effectively forces could be used based on Germany’s World War II precedent for integrated operation.

  Well, that must have made Lieutenant Generals von Zettour and von Rudersdorf happy. What an excellent pair. They must have found the proposal so wonderful, they got it into their heads to run an experiment in live combat.

  Damn you.

  If this was going to happen, maybe I should have turned the report in later.

  Whoever said it’s no use crying over spilled milk sure knew what they were talking about. Tanya sincerely regrets her relative inattention lately and difficulty reading Zettour’s intentions.

  …Next time I want to do better.

  “We’re making your old crew, the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion, the key unit. This goes without saying, then, but we’re not taking them away from you, so no need to worry about that. We’re giving you a measure of discretion in personnel choices for the infantry battalion and artillery company, as well. I’ll send over candidates later, along with your official orders.”

  Well, I understand what Captain Weiss was talking about now, Tanya thinks with a look of comprehension on her face as she acknowledges what Zettour is saying.

  If I have to be stationed on the front lines, then being able to use my group of competent veterans is welcome news. If the higher-ups are being considerate in that way, well, it means I’m receiving consideration. I suppose I should be grateful. For now, though, I need to figure out how sensible they are.

  “If you don’t mind my asking, what’s the formation period? How many months do I have?”

  “Sorry, Colonel. I’d like to explain, but per regulations, I can’t over the phone.”

  “S-so?”

  “I’ll be straight with you. I must inform you I can’t get you any time. And I can’t accept any arguments, objections, or complaints. I hope you understand.”

  Tanya replies that there’s nothing she can do if it’s confidential but then freezes upon hearing what Zettour says next.

  “Five days.”

  Yes, the sound reaching her ears petrifies her, if just for a moment.

  She can’t understand. She doesn’t want to understand. So naturally, the urge to try never rises.

  “Huh? I beg your pardon, General von Zettour, but what did you just say?”

  “I said, ‘Five days.’ I’m really leaning on your skill here. Form the unit in the capital within five days and be in the eastern military district within five more. When we get the Kampfgruppe on the front will depend on the conditions on the lines, but we’re planning on somewhere about three weeks from now at the latest, around July sixteenth.”

  She thought for a moment she had misheard, but when she asked him to repeat himself, the answer didn’t change.

  Behold, the rare sight of Rusted Silver in shock.

  Well, whether someone would be happy to see that or not is a delicate issue that depends on their humanity.

  …It’s probably not very fun for anyone to interpret the psyche of a monster in shock.

  In any case, the difficulty of the task has shaken Tanya—violently.

  Five days… Only five days?!

  And then to be sent into combat three weeks from now—what are they smoking? But “at the latest” must mean that getting sent into frontline service almost immediately upon arrival is also a possibility. In that case, we could literally be in combat in ten days. That’s practically no time.

  To round them up, ship them out, and get them into battle in a few short days is a virtually impossible standard. No matter how you look at them, these orders are completely and utterly unreasonable. Anyone getting them would doubt their ears.

  They would have to.

  She is sure that any officer in the Imperial Army would react the way she is.

  “General, if this is what you’re ordering, I’ll do everything I can, but…”

  There’s no way we’ll make it on time. This isn’t just difficult; it’s impossible.

  You could say that her implicit request that the orders be withdrawn is a peaceful protest.

  Let’s set aside the question of whether or not she is really being told to build a Kampfgruppe for combat on the forward-most line. What Tanya wants to ask is exceedingly simple: How am I even supposed to form this new type of unit?

  “Colonel, I realize I’m asking the impossible, but you yourself wrote that ‘Kampfgruppen are formed in an ad hoc way, and it would be desirable to do some investigative research into their swift formation.’ I want to know how fast the General Staff can put together units during wartime. Of course, since I know it’s unreasonable, I’ll treat this as an experiment and go a bit easy on you. Just do whatever it takes to get it done.”

  “…Understood.”

  Unfortunately, however, Zettour’s response over the phone to the counterargument Tanya was clinging to is a military order that brooks no misunderstanding.

  In the organizational structure of the army, once an order is given, it invokes absolute authority.

  After all, the military is the most strictly hierarchical organization in the world. It’s great that you don’t have to listen to your subordinate’s complaints, but when an order comes down from the top, there’s no room for your opinions, either.

  It’s easy to be the one giving the orders, but as the one having to swallow my sarcasm and protests, I want to cry. The restriction of freedom makes me want to scream, This is why military states are so— Argh!

  The only good thing you can say is that it’s better than the Commies. That said. Tanya is already bracing herself. She has to carry out her duty under the given conditions. If that’s the case, then instead of crying, let’s get to work with positivity.

  If you have to do something you don’t want to do, it’s much more constructive to get it over with.

  “Your establishment ceremony will be six days from now. It’s a completely new unit. Congratulations—this will be the first Kampfgruppe reporting directly to the General Staff.”

  Zettour continues, saying the new unit, with the 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion as its core, will be borrowing units from other areas. In other words, the General Staff will select appropriate units, which makes Tanya feel a bit more at ease.

  Tanya indicates her understanding, and Zettour says he nearly forgot something and informs her in an administrative tone.

  “The code name is Salamander. So you’ll be commanding the Salamander Kampfgruppe. Officially, it’s called the ‘experimental Kampfgruppe under the General Staff,’ but that’s boring, so we decided on a code name.”

  “That’s certainly a dramatic name. And associated with the element of fire. It sounds strong.”

  Tanya replies that she is pleased with the brave-sounding name, but what she’s thinking about is the combination of that name plus the short amount of time.

  …Is this some irony of history? For some reason, the words People’s Fighter Plane come to mind.

  And the bad feeling she has turns out to be right on.

  “Exactly. I trust you, but we really do need some results. Your troops are the only veterans. Everyone else is newbies with a little bit thicker skin. Make it happen.”

  She doesn’t even have time to Yes, sir. Having apparently said everything he wanted to say, Zettour just hangs up.

  For a few moments, Tanya stands there holding the receiver, wishing she could despair, bu
t instead employs her iron spirit to confirm what she needs to do.

  If there’s no time, she needs to start now—which means she doesn’t have a moment to spare. She hurries back to her office where her former subordinate is waiting and decides to put on a devilish smile.

  “…Good news, Captain Weiss. Permission has been granted. I’ll be taking you with me to hell for a while.”

  “I shall humbly accompany you, Kampfgruppe Commander!” Weiss salutes with an exhilarated smile. He’s a damn fine subordinate—one of that rare breed who have a wealth of experience and can be trusted. Unfortunately, he’s also a war nut who proactively volunteers to go to the battlefield for frontline service.

  If such a promising talent as this loves combat so much, it has to be something fundamental about the Empire’s systems and culture.

  Ahhh. It’s sad, but reality is cruel.

  There may be a devil in this world, but there is no benevolent god.

  NOVEMBER 28, UNIFIED YEAR 1980, NEW YAWK

  Hello, everyone. Or perhaps, good evening?

  This is WTN Special Correspondent Andrew.

  Today is Black Friday, and I’m coming to you from New Yawk, where the Christmas sales battle is in full swing. It’s almost Christmas and just look at these crowds!

  I’ll be buying a whole mess of presents for my wife and kids, too. Honestly, I’d like to forget about my WTN duties and go shopping.

  But sadly, I don’t think my boss would approve of that. Instead, I’m here combining work and leisure. Naturally, our theme is the usual puzzle solving. No, just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean we’re doing anything differently.

  Never fear. That said, have you ever wanted a funny little story to tell your kids? If you have, then the WTN Special Report Team recommends “The Salamander.”

  If your child isn’t frightened by the usual Christmas threats of an elf’s pranks on bad little kids, this should do the trick!

  After all, this rumor is so sensational, even formidable soldiers fear it. I heard it from the fearless PMC personnel—who escorted us in the Middle East—as their number one fear!

  That’s how terrifying the legend of the Salamander is.