by Bella Jewel
His mouth is so perfect, and I have no doubt the way he is working me is full of skill and experience. I can’t imagine it being this perfect for anyone else on their first time. I arch my hips, and finally a ragged cry leaves my throat. Jackson hums against my skin, causing tiny vibrations to shoot through my clit. This has a scream wrenching from my throat as he continues working me with his mouth.
I know I’m going to come embarrassingly quick. I can feel it. My entire body is tight, my fists are clenched, and the pressure is overwhelming. When Jackson slips his finger inside me, I finally release. I scream out his name in a ragged rasp as my body begins to jerk with each shot of pleasure that travels through it. For a moment, I see nothing, I hear nothing; everything is just my senses. My body rising higher and higher, taking me somewhere I’ve never been.
After a moment, my screaming becomes hoarse, and my orgasm dies down, until I’m lying there panting and out of breath. Jackson slides up my body, his mouth wet with my lust. He leans down, capturing my lips with his, letting me taste myself on him. It’s an erotic moment, and my body sparks to life yet again. I cling to him, wrapping my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. I kiss him deeply, taking his tongue, taking my own release. He groans and cups my breasts through my bra. Desperately, he reaches underneath me, not moving his lips from mine, and unclips it. I shuffle, and he tugs it off before finally moving his mouth from mine.
He stares down at my hard nipples, and then looks back up at me, his green eyes so dark and piercing my heart skips a beat. “You want me to put them in my mouth, darlin’?”
“Yes,” I rasp.
He gives me a lazy half grin, before lowering his head and capturing my nipple in his mouth. I cry out, gripping his arms and thrusting my pelvis up until my pussy is rubbing against his erection. His skin is soft there, even though he’s hard, he’s also silky smooth. He moans deeply, and it vibrates through my nipple. He sucks and licks one, before moving to the other. By the time he’s finished, my body is pulsing for him once more.
“You ready for this?” he says, letting his eyes search my face, as if wanting to see if I’m sure.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“Goin’ to hurt, baby.”
“I know.”
“What I gave you then, that was the good part.”
I grip his face. “I know.”
“You on protection?”
“No,” I whisper.
He nods, and pulls back, leaning over to grip a condom from his bedside table. He tears the packet with his teeth, and rolls it over his erection. I watch, feeling lust rush through my body. His eyes are on me, the entire time he rolls that damned yellow condom over that damned gorgeous erection. When he’s finished, he moves back over my body.
“You want it quick, or slow?”
I feel the nerves in my stomach begin to flutter about. I try to remember how it felt back then. I know it hurt. I know it was hard and quick. I don’t know if that’s the best way, or the worst. “I-I...don’t know.”
He runs his fingers over my cheek. “I’ve been with enough women in my time, to know what hurts and what doesn’t. I’m goin’ to go easy on you, but you need to trust me, ok?”
“I do,” I whisper, and I meant it.
I trusted him.
He nods, and presses his lips gently against mine, while using one hand to encourage my leg up around his hip. I do the same with the other one, opening myself as much as possible for him. I feel him at my entrance, but he doesn’t push for a long while, he just kisses me gently, softly, making my heart hurt.
Then he pushes in, and everything stops feeling nice. I whimper loudly as he stretches me, and a burning pain fills the lower half of my body. All the books, and shows that make the first few times out to be pleasurable moments for a woman, were lying. It hurts. That’s just fact. It can be beautiful, but that doesn’t change reality. It hurts.
Jackson pushes his hips in further, smothering a groan into my shoulder. I feel tears prick my eyelids as my body tries to accommodate him. I’m sure it didn’t feel like this the first time. I bite my lip, stopping the whimper as I shift to try and open myself more to him. He stops moving, and looks down at me, his eyes concerned.
“Hurting baby?”
I nod, still biting my lip.
“You want me to stop?”
I shake my head.
“Are you sure...”
I cut him off by thrusting my hips upwards, forcing his erection to slide the entire way in. My mouth opens in a rush of pain, and I lay like that, almost gaping, making a strange, pained sound.
“Stupid girl,” he whispers, kissing my cheeks to try and soothe me. “Stupid, stupid girl.”
I whimper, and tears slide down my face. It hurts. Will it always be like this? It’s not like it’s my first time, ok, it might as well be, but still. Jackson goes to pull out, but I grip his shoulders. Pain or not, I want this with him. I want him so badly. I don’t want him to pull away.
“No,” I cry. “Please.”
“Hush,” he soothes. “Hush darlin’.”
“Please,” I whimper. “I want you. I want it to be you.”
“Feel fuckin’ guilty movin’,” he murmurs.
I take a deep breath, and jerk my hips again. A ragged groan escapes his lips.
“Stop doin’ that baby, I’ll come so fuckin’ hard we won’t get anywhere.”
It feels nice for him? Even though he’s not moving?
“Y-y-you like it?”
He lifts his head, giving me a confused look. “Are you fuckin’ kidding? You’re so fuckin’ tight your squeezing my cock, milking it even though I’m not moving. I want to come so bad, it’s taking everything for me to hold it back.”
That’s enough for me, in a husky voice, I rasp, “Move, Jackson.”
He doesn’t argue, gently he pulls back, before slowly pushing back in. It hurts, a lot, but the second time he does it; the pain eases just a touch. By the fifth thrust, I’m clinging to him, enjoying the little sensations rocking through my body. It’s not enough to come, I know that, but it feels nice. I feel full, overwhelmed by the body moving in and out of mine, but mostly I am tingling all over at the soft sounds of him enjoying my body.
“Fuck, darlin’, I ain’t never felt the need to come so hard...”
I whimper. “Please do, oh...please.”
Call me crazy, but the idea of watching a man come just using my body, is enough to make it come alive. Right now every nerve ending is on full alert, and my eyes are glued to Jackson’s face. His jaw is tight, his eyes a little hazy, and his skin is glistening just beautifully. His hard body is moving over mine, not fast, not slow, but the perfect in between. He’s no longer hurting me.
“Going to...now,” he grinds out. “Baby now.”
He lets out a puff of air, followed by a ragged groan, before I quite literally feel him pumping inside of me. His body shakes, and his eyes glaze over with pleasure as he jerks his hips gently, using my body to milk every, last drop from his body. When he stops shuddering, and those gorgeous little noises stop leaving his mouth, he drops his head into my shoulder. I let my fingers find his back, and I slide them up and down his sweat slickened skin.
He lifts himself off me after a moment, and I feel the dull ache between my legs when he’s no longer there. I shift and a bolt of pain shoots up into my pelvis. I groan, and Jackson stops what he’s doing and stares down at me, a look of concern flooding his features.
“You hurtin’?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Hang there, ok?”
He turns and walks into his bathroom. A moment later he comes back out, jeans pulled up, and a washcloth in hand. He drops onto the bed beside me.
“Open.”
“What?” I gasp.
“Your legs darlin’, open them.”
“Oh...no, it’s ok...”
“Open.”
“Jackson.”
“Open.”
I glare a
t him. “I can clean myself.”
“You’re bleeding, baby, open them.”
“I am?” I say, staring down at my thighs. Sure enough, a light smear of blood covers my left one. God, that’s so wrong.
“Oh...oh god!” I wail, covering my face.
Jackson snorts. “You women, ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed about. You had one crappy sexual experience, that was years ago, so basically that was like your first time. It’s normal. Men are allowed to help. Stop arguing and let me.”
He grips my thighs and gently parts them, before placing the warm washcloth there. It is soothing, I can’t deny that. He gently cleans me up, and then goes and tosses the cloth into a nearby basket. I sit, and painfully slide to the end of the bed.
“What you doin’?” he asks, stopping in front of me.
“I’m going to go back to my room; I know you probably don’t want me here and...”
“Lie down, Serenity.”
I gape up at him. “Pardon?”
He points to the bed. “Lie down.”
“But...”
“You think I’m that much of an ass, that I would fuck a woman, and then send her on her way?”
He looks offended, great.
“Well no, but...”
“Then lie the fuck down, let me come in there and press that sweet little body against mine, maybe make love to you again, and then go to sleep.”
My eyes widen. “You want to do it again?”
He grins, dropping his jeans and climbing into the bed. “Numerous times, darlin’.”
He grips my shoulders, pulling me down into his arms. He’s warm, hard, and all man. He smells like sex, crossed with that Jackson smell that’s all his own. I snuggle into him, placing a hand on his chest and feeling the bulges of his abs beneath my palms. For a man of his age, he’s very well built.
“Were you for real when you said the first time you had sex, the man only got two pumps in?”
I chuckle softly. “Yeah.”
“Young men, they’re all pussies.”
I giggle now. “And old men are so much better?”
“You just scream my name?”
“No.”
He laughs, loud and boisterous. “Touche!”
I smile, and tuck myself further into him. “I don’t know what this is, Jackson, I don’t even know why I am attracted to you, but I am.”
“Yeah,” he says, his voice deep and husky. “I know.”
“But I don’t expect anything from you, I don’t...”
“I know you don’t.”
“Not that I’d say no to more...”
He laughs again. “Easy does it, you don’t want to break that pixie body.”
“I do not have a pixie body,” I protest.
He begins drawing circles on my back. “Yeah, you do.”
“Ok, so I have pathetic little breasts...”
“They are not pathetic, they’re fuckin’ sweet.”
“Well it’s my ass then.”
“No way in hell it’s your ass.”
I huff. “Then what is it?”
“It’s just the whole package. You’re tiny, like a fairy. Everything about you is petite and tiny. You’ve got this gorgeous tiny body, a pretty little face, and sometimes it looks like you’re all hair.”
“Hey, I like my hair.”
He wraps his fingers in it, and tugs. “Me too.”
I yawn, and tuck myself further into him.
“Sleep pixie.”
I laugh softly. “Is that going to stick?”
He pulls me closer, and reaches across to flick off the light.
“Oh yeah.”
I find myself drifting, and for the first time in my life.
It’s with a smile on my face.
~*CHAPTER 10*~
SERENITY
I wake during the night to a hard, hot body pressed against my back. My body wakes instantly when I realize where I am. I am in Jackson’s bed. Oh god, I’m in Jackson’s bed. My heart flutters, and my stomach does a somersault. I move gently, only to have Jackson tighten his grip, and jerk his hips into my ass. Oh, he’s hard. Evening wood? Or just a dream? He rubs his cock up and down my backside, and I know he’s fully awake.
“Were you going?” he murmurs against my back.
“Actually,” I whisper. “I need to pee.”
He chuckles, and lets me go. “Sorry.”
I giggle. “It’s ok, it’s not every day you wake up with a sexy man pressed against you, ready for action.”
“You might have to do all the work, it’s too late.”
I grunt, and roll, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. I stomp quietly into the bathroom, and flick on the light. I do what I have to do, peer at myself in the mirror and cringe at my hair, then I walk back out. I’m about to climb back into the bed, when I hear Addison screaming downstairs. Jackson groans and sits up.
“Fuckin’ seriously?” he grumbles.
“Fuck you, Cade! I don’t want to hear it!” Addi screams.
My body tingles, shit, I’m in Jackson’s room. In his bed. How is that going to look if Addison finds me here? What the hell am I doing? I lean down, scurrying about to find something to wear, only to realize I left my dress downstairs. Oh. My. God. Groaning, I pick up one of Jackson’s shirts instead. He’s so tall it goes nearly to my knees, so I give up on trying to find bottoms. Screw the panties.
“Jesus, sugar, stop bein’ so over dramatic about it!” Cade yells.
“Oh fuck off!” Addison throws back.
I sigh. Great. Jackson grumbles something, and climbs out of the bed.
“I should go back to my room.”
He doesn’t answer. I don’t know if it’s because he’s not listening, or if he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me to leave. I walk to the door, and open it quietly, before tiptoeing down the hall to my room. I close the door as soon as I get in, leaning against it, and listening a while. I hear Jackson go downstairs, and start barking orders at Cade. I hear protesting from Addison, and then I hear the front door slam. I hear light murmuring after that, which is Jackson soothing Addison.
My heart burns.
What game am I playing at?
I push off the door, just as my phone rings. Who the hell is ringing me so late? I dig though my purse until I find it, and then I put it to my ear, not checking the caller I.D.
“Hello?”
“The fuck have you been?” Hogan barks down the line.
I feel my entire body stiffen, and I quickly scurry towards the window and lower my voice.
“I forgot to charge my phone.”
“How many fuckin’ times do I need to pull you into line, Serenity? You are fuckin’ wastin’ my time, and I’ll pull you out soon if you don’t start delivering.”
Panic washes through me. If he pulls me out, then I can’t protect the club and they’ll get hurt. I have to think quick.
“I have information,” I lie. “I was just making sure it was correct before I gave it to you.”
“You bring something good to me tomorrow, or I’m fuckin’ takin’ you out. You’re a fuckin’ waste of space, you know that?”
Of course I knew that. He told me daily when I was a child.
“I...I know.”
“Useless fuckin’ woman. I ring, you answer the fuckin’ phone. Don’t? I’ll fuckin’ make sure you don’t disobey me again.”
I shudder, and tears leak out of my eyes and down my cheeks.
“I got it,” I rasp.
“Tomorrow, you better have something good. Don’t make me hurt the kid. ‘Coz I fuckin’ will.”
Then he hangs up. Everything I felt in the last few hours goes rushing down the drain. I’m playing with fire, and I’m sure to get burned. There’s no way around it. Someone is going to get hurt. Someone I love.
“Serenity?”
I hear Jackson knocking at my door, and I can’t bring myself to move to answer it. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves better.
I shouldn’t be doing this to him. I see the door crack open, and he steps in, wearing only a pair of black jeans. I cry harder. God dammit. Why does he have to be so fucking perfect? Why couldn’t I have met him on a normal day? He would have saved me. I have no doubt about it. Why does it have to be like this?
“What?” he says, confused.
He walks in, stopping in front of me, staring down at me with a concerned expression. “You hurtin’?”
“No, but...Jackson, we can’t do that again.”
He looks confused. God, I’m such an awful person. He doesn’t understand why I’m acting like a crazy person. Wanting him. Not wanting him.
“Why not?” he asks, kneeling down so he’s at my level.
“Because, it’s wrong, and we shouldn’t do it.”
“That really what you want?” he murmurs.
“Yes, I don’t want this.”
“Baby, you’re lyin’. What happened?”
“I just don’t want it!” I cry, glaring at him. “Ok?”
He shakes his head. “If I believed you, I would walk away, but I don’t. I don’t fuckin’ believe you.”
“Jackson!” I rasp. “Stop.”
He shakes his head, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around me, lifting me up and turning until he reaches my bed. He lays me down on it, bringing his hard body over mine.
“I ain’t done, and I know you ain’t either,” he says, his lips sliding over my shoulder. “Until we are, we ain’t havin’ regrets.”
“I’m too young, you can do better and...”
“Serenity?”
“Y-y-yeah?”
“Shut up.”
“Please,” I whimper as his lips slide down and he tugs the shirt out of the way, capturing my nipple in his mouth. “Jackson, god...”
“I ain’t walkin’ away yet, at least not until I make you come for me.”
“Please...”
“Goin’ to do that right now. Goin’ to make you come until you’re screamin’ my name.”
“I’m no good, you’re better off without me...I’m trash, it’s all I’ve ever been to anyone...”